Citizens Rights when Divorced K-1 in One Year

[St&Sv 33]

ok well once again thank you to everyone who wrote on this topic. i wish you all well and i hope your relationships go much better than mine. she and her daughter are boarding a plane from houston to colombia right now. yes she went home tonight. i took her to the airport, of course now i miss her alot. but it was just not going to work out. she will be home in bogota in the morning. thanks again all. i really appreciate you all writing. yes you too EAS and i really hope you have a great marriage. God bless all of you!

Glad to hear you have the monkey off your back so to say, and the two of you can start moving forward. Best of luck to any and all of your future endeavors. Chalk this one up as just another learning experience on the road of life and thank you for sharing with us. It's sad to hear stories like this, but it gives us all things to think about.

Edited July 29, 2013 by St&Sv

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Good grief. It's not the end of the world. Any marriage can have problems and any marriage can end. Once the marriage ends and the two people move on and go their own way they both get their life and freedom back.

Judging by the way you handled things you're lucky you didn't marry a redneck girl from the trailer park. She would own your house by now.

Rolling on the floor laughing!!!!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

ok well once again thank you to everyone who wrote on this topic. i wish you all well and i hope your relationships go much better than mine. she and her daughter are boarding a plane from houston to colombia right now. yes she went home tonight. i took her to the airport, of course now i miss her alot. but it was just not going to work out. she will be home in bogota in the morning. thanks again all. i really appreciate you all writing. yes you too EAS and i really hope you have a great marriage. God bless all of you!

They're out of the house, they're out of the country, but your ex-wife has a greencard and can return whenever she wants (as long as it's under a year).

I suggest you still write a letter to the appropriate people (USCIS/ICE) to let them know the marriage is terminated and that she has left the county. I also suggest you mention the daughter visiting on her GC even though she had been outside the country for X months. I suggest you do this ASAP, especially with that I-751 pending (that you should NOT have filed jointly as a divorce couple... I hope you're just confused and meant she filed with the waiver but you wrote a letter of support or something).

Also remember your I-864 is still in play unless they do give up their GC's. This is something you will never be advised about.

[EAS 45]

i agree with most of your comments. i hope for the guy EAS who is dreaming of the wonderful life he will have when his fiance arrives is correct. what if she does not embrace your country? what if she is resentful about it all? what if she does not care to see your country. what if she is impatient and does not understand your words? what is she takes everything in the most negative way? what if she is a hothead? what if she disappears one day? what if she turns your own family against you? what if she says you are violent when she does not understand the meaning of the word, she can destroy you?

it's easy to be excited when you have not lived it. what you described is what i expected also. it is not what i got. i spent thousands of hours with her online and i spent 2-3 months in her country before she came here. i just want her to go away so i can have my home, my life and my good reputation back. don't be naive. i realize i could have married someone local with the same outcome. i pray for you EAS that it goes well for you but don't be a fool like me. as you have done so far, do your homework and be as sure as possible before she comes. good luck to you EAS!

himher comments are just not useful or necessary. you spend what i spent, sacrifice what i did then tell me its no big deal. this has cost me a small fortune for nothing. i hope it works for you. me? no mas!

before i did this a friend of mine who married a russian woman told me "be sure this is what you want, plan to spend thousands of dollars and untold hours in paperwork, be prepared for years of struggle and then hope immigration works and hope the woman you pick is right for you". this is excellent advice for anyone. i would not recommend the k-1 process to anyone ever. divorce is rampant in us. somehow we think an immigrant will be different. NOT!

i'll write my story here if/when it is over..

Nothing in my post said that I thought that it would be wonderful. On the contrary I indicated that there would be rough times arguments, disagreements, misunderstandings, etc. But what I did state was that on the balance there will also be good times. Can I definitively state that we will be together for the rest of my natural life? No, I can't. Just as I can't state that I won't get hit by a falling Gargoyle; but I still walk down the street without that particular fear on my mind.

what if she does not embrace your country?

That would be her choice and I certainly would not force it upon her. She would be free to depart the country whenever she decided that was the right thing to do. Or she would be free to live with me without embracing my country as long as we could be [on balance] happy together.

what if she is resentful about it all?

Resentful about what all? That we agreed to live in the USA? Well, I offered to live in Asia. In fact, I lived in Asia for 4 years. At this point in time we have decided that the USA is the place for us to be.

what if she does not care to see your country.

I really don't think this is possible. I have traveled all over Asia with her and she has enjoyed seeing new places and learning new things. However, if she doesn't want to see any of the USA there are still plenty of places in the rest of the world for us to explore and old favorites to revisit. Our time in the USA can be spent working and planning for our twice yearly vacations.

what if she is impatient and does not understand your words?

I don't think that it is possible for her not to understand my words/meaning. We both speak the same language, American English, fluently. And we have been together for years. Does that mean that there won't be communication problems? NO. But we have worked through them in the past and I am confident we will be able to work through them in the future. She is a woman and I am a man. We sometimes see things differently and we certainly choose different words to use on occasion. Sometimes she is impatient and sometimes I am too. We both come around sooner rather than later.

what is [if] she takes everything in the most negative way? what if she is a hothead?

As an extension of the communication issue discussed above, I admit that she has taken some of the things I have said negatively when that was not my intended meaning. Likewise I have done the same. Once again years of being together and communicating with each other in a common language has made this a rare occurrence. But even when it happens we come to an understanding sooner rather than later. I can categorically state that IF she is a 'hothead' then she had hidden it quite well over the years. I suspect this will not be an issue.

what if she disappears one day?

Presumably you mean what if she leaves me one day without notice or means to contact her. My first thoughts might be foul-play. If and when that possibility was voided [for example: she took all her belongings with her], then I would wonder what I had done to cause her to leave. If I could not identify a root cause for which I am responsible then I would do my best to move on. I would miss her because ... well, because I would. I would be disappointed that she felt she couldn't be with me anymore and that she couldn't tell me she was leaving me. I probably would be a little angry AT MYSELF for not seeing the warning signs and addressing the root cause, if possible. But in the end I would move on.

BUT, having said all that I don't worry about her leaving me. She has had ample opportunity to leave me over the years.

what if she turns your own family against you?

This will not happen. Yes, I am 100% confident in this assertion. On the other hand it is quite possible for me to turn my family against myself if I "act a fool" and mistreat her in any significant way.

what if she says you are violent when she does not understand the meaning of the word, she can destroy you?

Once again, she has a fluent, if not complete, grasp of the American English language. If she ever stated I was violent, she would know what she was saying. IF she EVER seriously stated to anyone that I am violent [when I wasn't] then I would follow the same advice that I provided earlier. I would dissociate myself from her and would never be alone with her. You are quite right that this accusation can destroy a man's life even if it is eventually proven to be a false claim.

[aaastircrazy 2]

EAS i appreciate all your comments. the questions were rhetorical relating to my reality, my immigrant wife, not yours. i wish you well.

my ex-spouse went home to colombia last night. how do i end this conversation?

[EAS 45]

EAS i appreciate all your comments. the questions were rhetorical relating to my reality, my immigrant wife, not yours. i wish you well.

my ex-spouse went home to colombia last night. how do i end this conversation?

Just ignore me.

[William33 110]

Closed at the request of the OP.