10 Ways To Freak Out Your Room Mate..

[chri'stina 190]

Something fun that I used to do to my friend who shared a room with me...it should be added to the list...she does hair and while in hair school she brought home lots of fake heads to practice on. Even though they were her heads, I used them to scare everyone in our house. I'd lay them in ppl's beds and put pillows underneath to make it look like a sleeping person with the blanket placed just so, or I'd call my mom from around the corner with only the fake head sticking out looking towards her. Oh, fun times.

Edited September 7, 2007 by stina&suj

[Sister Fracas 5]

This post is from Dec 06????

still funny though!

[bszoom42 0]

http://www.msu.edu/user/dynicrai/lists/roomie.htm

50 Ways to Confuse your Roommate:

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.

2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.

3. Twitch a lot.

4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to

them.

6. Become a subgenius.

7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.

8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of

your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.

9. Speak in tongues.

10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually

work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the

ceiling.

11. Walk and talk backwards.

12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the

middle of your room. Number them.

13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your

roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more

than meets the eye."

14. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man,"

Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.

15. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a

kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your

performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).

16. Collect all your urine in a small jug.

17. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

18. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off

when you are.

19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of

weeks."

20. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to

masturbate while reading them.

21. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come,

pretend nothing happened.

22. Eat glass.

23. Smoke ball-point pens.

24. Smile. All the time.

25. Collect dog ###### in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you

think the dog ate.

26. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can.

When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat

it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that

s/he reimburse you.

28. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of

grievances.

29. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.

30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and

then look away quickly.

31. Dye all your underwear lime green.

32. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.

33. Bye three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.

34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her

of stealing it.

35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).

36. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.

37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.

Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for

three weeks.

38. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse

to discuss them.

39. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.

40. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with

"Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.

41. Shave one eyebrow.

42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile

your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments,

mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.

43. Put horseradish in your shoes.

44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly

that you can never find the book that you want.

45. Always flush the toilet three times.

46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.

47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at

least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an

assignment for your primitive cultures class.

48. Give him/her an allowance.

49. Listen to radio static.

50. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them

as soon as you wake up.

30 MORE Ways To Confuse Your Roommate:

1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to

him/her before he/she goes to class.

2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and

fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then,

one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get

up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read

without one when the lights are out, remarking every so often how great the

book is.

4. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to

surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off

the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate

comes over to "rescue" you.

5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every

day. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of

ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the

empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."

6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the toaster in.

Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain that

the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests plugging

it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.

7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going

away to "find yourself." Leave, and come back in about ten minutes. If your

roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.

8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell

him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.

9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of

water. When he/she brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to

sleep. If he/she ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the

bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging

sounds, until he/she does so.

10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and

begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it,

say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."

11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it.

Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you

again."

12. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then

jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing

beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of

beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at

your roommate.

13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then

wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."

14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you

every morning.

15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up

melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If

he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.

16. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey

them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns

until he/she pays the tickets.

17. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate

inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe

with me."

18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been

bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.

19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying

in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a

Shovel." Comment often about how much you love the paintings.

20. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything. Bump

into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?"

every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the

glasses, act like you can see fine.

21. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements with

your face. Explain to your roommate that you have established a

connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp. Tell your roommate

that "Grandma said hi."

22. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your

collection of "inert gases." Look at them often. One day, act surprised

and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released one of the

gases. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.

23. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream

hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.

24. Roller-skate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your

roommate, crash into him/her and knock him/her down. Apologize, and say that

he/she looked like "the enemy."

25. Put headphones on your roommate while he/she is sleeping, and

subliminally teach him/her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and

memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.

26. Stick your head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your

head crashes through the glass. Then say, "Silly me," open the window

again, and try to stick your head through. Act like you hit your head on

something.

27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you

upon sight. If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100 push-ups. Keep

saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more."

28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add to

it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that

sailboat."

29. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit

into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate

inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.

30. Take three percocet. Smoke marijuana. Do what comes naturally.

20 More Ways To Confuse Your Roommate:

1. Every morning, when you get up, say, "Well, time to go to class." Sit

on your bed and act like you're turning your room key in the ignition. Then act

like you're driving, turning an invisible steering wheel and making,

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr, rrrrrrrrrrrrrr" engine sounds. Then, one day, chug a few beers

before "driving" to class. Make the "Rrrrrrrrrrr" sounds, and then say,

"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech" and act like you've had a car accident. Fling yourself

off the bed and across the room, and pretend to be hurt. Spend the day in bed

with an icepack on your forehead.

2. Whenever your roommate sneezes, immediately call the Rescue Squad and report

that your roommate is spreading a highly contagious, infectious disease around

the building. If your roommate protests, go on a tangent about health codes.

3. Every night, when you do your homework, put a balloon on the chair before

you sit down. When the balloon breaks, act like you've been startled. Scream

continuously for two minutes. Then, stop suddenly, and start on your homework,

as if nothing happened.

4. Wear earmuffs, all the time. Act like you can never understand what your

roommate is saying. Pick up the phone at random, say "Hello?", and act

confused, as if you don't understand why nobody's there. Answer the door at

random, as if somebody had knocked, and look around the hallway as if

somebody's supposed to be there. After about a week, stop wearing the

earmuffs, and advise your roommate to never buy a hearing aid at a garage sale.

5. When you return from a class, instead of opening the door, break it down

with a big piece of lumber. Tell your roommate you forgot your key.

6. Every night, when your roommate comes home, wait on the other side of the

door. When your roommate opens the door, act like he/she hit you in the head,

and that you've been knocked unconscious. Spend the night sleeping on the

floor. After about a week, go to bed as you normally would. Complain loudly

that you can't sleep.

7. Get lots of tomatoes. Sit with them in a corner of the room and have secret

meetings. Inform your roommate that you have been nominated for president of

the tomatoes. Put up campaign posters around the room. Select one tomato to be

your campaign manager. Make speeches in front of the tomatoes. Then, one day,

when your roommate comes back, give him/her a jar of tomato sauce, go on a

tirade about fixed elections, and tell him/her that you really didn't want to

be president of the tomatoes anyway.

8. Get a hamster. Keep it in a cage, with a little exercise wheel. Whenever

the hamster runs in the wheel, stand next to the cage and jog in place. Tell

your roommate that the hamster is your "personal trainer." Someplace outside

the room, let your roommate catch you eating a candy bar. Beg him/her not to

tell the hamster about it.

9. After you take a shower, instead of drying yourself with a towel, stand in

the middle of the room and spin around 100 times. Spend an hour in bed,

complaining that you feel dizzy and sick.

10. Chew gum often. When you're finished chewing it, store it in a drawer

until you've amassed a huge wad of used gum. If your roommate inquires, go on

a tangent about recycling. When the gum wad gets big enough, sit it in front

of the TV and let it watch cartoons. Complain to your roommate that the gum wad

never watches anything educational.

11. Stick your head out the door and announce whatever your roommate is doing

to the rest of the building. "He/She's getting out a book!" "He/She's taking

out his/her glasses!" Go around the building and take requests for what people

would like your roommate to do. Report the results to your roommate.

12. Bring your roommate gifts, but act angry and upset when you give them to

him/her. If your roommate inquires, yell at him/her and shout "It is better to

give than to receive, you stupid moron!"

13. Get a duck. While your roommate is out, put on some dance music, and wait

for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, let him/her catch you

dancing with the duck. Act surprised, turn off the music, and immediately go

to bed. Get rid of the duck, and refuse to ever acknowledge that the incident

occurred.

14. Turn out all the lights, and wait for your roommate to come home. When

he/she does, whack him/her in the head with a golf club. Apologize, and

explain that you thought he/she was a burglar.

15. Make your roommate show you two forms of ID before you let him/her use the

telephone, microwave, etc. If he/she ever refuses, scream for help, and accuse

your roommate of being an impostor.

16. Whenever your roommate wears something red, act like a bull and charge

him/her with your head, knocking him/her down if possible. Suggest that your

roommate sign up for matador lessons.

17. If your roommate snores, make a tape recording of it. Play it at full

volume out your window. Tell your roommate that you're trying to summon a

hippopotamus.

18. Every time you want to leave the room, stand and knock at the door until

someone in the hall lets you out. If your roommate inquires, give him/her a

lecture on politeness.

19. Collect various types of insects. Keep them in jars. Complain to your

roommate that the insects seem lethargic. Start running bingo games for the

insects. One day, while your roommate is out, release the insects and paint

insect bites and bee stings on your body. When your roommate returns, advise

him/her to never cheat while playing with bingo-obsessed bugs.

20. Get an extension cord. Put one end in your mouth, and plug the other end

into the wall each night while you do your homework. If your roommate asks

about it, act as though you're ashamed for having been so foolish. The next

day, pretend to drink some gasoline before doing your homework, and explain to

your roommate that gas is cheaper than electricity.

[almaty 19]

20. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to

masturbate while reading them.

...there are some mighty fine beavers in them magazines

[Jason-Sasha 1]

I have done many things to torture my roommate. I've crept into the bathroom while he was showering and thrown an old dead fish in the shower with him. I've put rotten onions under his pillow. Woken him up with a fire extinguisher. I put chest hair trimmings on a bar of soap, propped it up with 4 shortened Q-tips (like stumpy legs) and made a face on it with a beer bottle cap. I filled his shoes with hair gel once. Wrapped his bed with plastic cling wrap (whole roll). Changed his screen saver to the most horrifically ugly people alive. Ahh the fun times!! Oh, and don't kid yourself. he gives it out as well as he takes it. I've had my share of pranks played on me.

[LuzyC 0]

Have you done any of these to Gary yet

Hmmmm....