Feeling guilty...

[Fandango 1,440]

Isn't there a formula for determining how much to spend on an engagement ring? I realize it's just a guide, but perhaps that's a good place to start by getting a ball park figure of what you should spend based on your finances.

Yes, you take the figure the man has in his head and you triple it

JK, D's figure was a goodun, I got noooo complaints.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I think the diamond industry has it at 2 months salary

personally, i would rather put that kind of money towards a house or a nice little investment

[ChristinaM 0]

I personally don't understand the fuss about a wedding ring - to me, a wedding ring is plain gold/silver/titanium/insertmetalofchoicehere. I can understand someone wanting to have a pretty engagement ring, or eternity ring. Perhaps it's just the way things are going these days - what would traditionally have been seen as an eternity ring (normally stone-set most or all of the way round) is being used as a wedding ring.

Perhaps it's a matter of taste, too. My rings are incredibly plain. My wedding ring is a gold band with no markings of any kind, and my engagement ring is a single diamond in a white gold setting on - you guessed it - a plain gold band

That being said, it's definitely a matter of priorities. I was very lucky to get the diamond that had belonged to my husbands grandmother, and paying for a stone to be reset is a heck of a lot cheaper than buying a new one. Was it exactly the ring I'd dreamed of - no! But it's beautiful and special, and we were able to still have a honeymoon (along with my friends, Ben and Jerry) in Vermont and pay the rent.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I think the diamond industry has it at 2 months salary

personally, i would rather put that kind of money towards a house or a nice little investment

2 months salary? Holy cow! I was thinking more along the line of how much discretionary spending a guy does for himself for a couple of months...or something like that.

[ChristinaM 0]

Here's an interesting article about this very topic:

http://financialplan.about.com/cs/singlesa...iamondRings.htm

And here's the jewellers view:

http://www.theleodiamond.com/buying-diamonds-budget.html

Edited December 2, 2006 by ChristinaM

[JanaknJanet 0]

For myself.. I kinda have a little biased thought on a ring...

I have been married before.. and when I was.. there was NO ring.

Mentally I have told myself that if I was to marry again .. there has to be a ring.

It doesnt have to be fancy .. or expensive.. but.. dangit.. this time it has to be done right.

I talked to Jan about what I felt.. and he also feels that if there is no ring where is the committment.

The ring to the two of us is a sign of committment. of our love.

He has his ring.. when we first met.. shortly before he and his father went to the Priest.. to get a blessing.. the priest.. does this ceremony... a gemstone is blessed. you are blessed.. for Jan .. the stone is chosen by the priest.. .. and the blessing was to give him new beginning new love and restart in life.. .. shortly after the stone was sent to the jewlers and set in a ring for Jan to wear we met. .. call it our blessing..

The ring I chose to wear as the symbol of our love and dedication is indeed His RING... the ring that .. holds more meaning than any Zales ring could ever hold.

So for some.. a ring is simply a ring.. for others. it is a sign of committment.. dedication.

as far as Diamonds.. Power of the Gemstones in India

DIAMONDS

Diamond is ruled by Venus. Diamonds are white, blue, red and black colored. It ensures longevity and advancement in life. It can bless the native with children, happiness, intelligence, name, fame and good fortune. It ensures abundant wealth and success in all ventures. It cures the diseases of kidney and reproductive organs. It drives away evil spirits and bad effects of evil eyes. It ensures happy married life, possession of jewellery and ornaments, rich dress, conveyances, comfortable house and birth of good children.

Seems to me.. that Diamonds and Marriage has been used way longer than the Modern Day use..

[sercontigo 1]

What are you winking about? What you said was horrible.

Horrible? It's time for a reality check, people. The OP has found her real love. I'll tell you what's horrible. A lot of women dream of finding their one true love and never find it. I have seen how some of these women live, in loneliness, poverty and despair. These are nice, honest women who just can't find an honest and faithful guy who will just love them. They meet man after man, all liars, cheaters or game players. Sometimes they want to give up, yet they keep trying. Some of the stories I have heard have brought tears to my eyes.

So don't tell me what's horrible. The OP is worried about a stupid ring. Give me a fcuking break.

Well said. Very true, very profound. I am one of those women who had a bad marriage long ago and finally I have someone who I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING. I remind myself of how much he means to me and how honest he is and its worth all the money in the world to be able to trust again. I could be in worse shape with someone I dont love or who is unfaithful or even abusive. S

eriously, to feel that a ring is that important (enough to actually bother you )in a relationship makes me question the relationship and the priorities of the parties involved. Love should never be conditional upon the size or clarity of a diamond of course unless, that love is pure fake cubic zirconia. Showy and Flashy, but not real at all.

[Alex+R 0]

eriously, to feel that a ring is that important (enough to actually bother you )in a relationship makes me question the relationship and the priorities of the parties involved. Love should never be conditional upon the size or clarity of a diamond of course unless, that love is pure fake cubic zirconia. Showy and Flashy, but not real at all.

I did not get the impression from the OP that she was evaluating the relationship based on the ring. Sounds like she loves her man, AND she's always wanted a dream wedding. Two separate things.

So what?

To me that says nothing about her commitment or love for her guy, and I don't think she was being spoiled at all.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

I'm surprised.

I never realised the high number of paragons of virtue that we have here.

[peezey 0]

I'm surprised.

I never realised the high number of paragons of virtue that we have here.

me, either. And it also amazes me the women who bash another woman who was totally honest about something, and not at all in a thoughtless way, however, everything she said except for the wanting of a ring has been completely ignored. Kinda sucks.

[Fandango 1,440]

I'm surprised.

I never realised the high number of paragons of virtue that we have here.

me, either. And it also amazes me the women who bash another woman who was totally honest about something, and not at all in a thoughtless way, however, everything she said except for the wanting of a ring has been completely ignored. Kinda sucks.

I'm going to put on my defensive hat for one sec and tell you a couple of things

1 - it's not just women who are doing the bashing

2 - if you included me in that comment, I feel that would be wrong. I'm making no assumptions on her relationship, but I do feel it's wrong to wash personal laundry like this if her fiance is unaware or not comfortable with . Some people can disagree without actually 'bashing' anyone

but yeah, it's sad imo how ppl are callng her names and saying things about her relationshp.

[Irisheyes 0]

Bet she's sorry she brought it up!

[Ban Hammer 13,651]

Bet she's sorry she brought it up!

a common theme in vj

[Karen_L 1]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I don't think she meant to imply that she is dissatisfied with him or that she's calling him financially inadequate OR that the ring is the most important thing to her. And I don't think wanting a wedding ring is unduly selfish and unreasonable.

To the OP -- maybe a good solution would be for you to buy his wedding ring and for him to buy just yours, so he doesn't have the burden of getting two. Also, I suggest you look at Overstock.com, because they have a lot of half price jewelry. I've never ordered anything, but I have a few friends who tell me that it's a good site. Also, try JcPenney's website. They have plain wedding bands for like $60.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Thanks Karen you reminded me of Overstock.com.

I found this pretty ring I think I'll buy it for myself and wear it with my wedding band.

Sarah