Feeling guilty...

[ninamyers 0]

Don't feel guilty. I didn't get a wedding ring either, and at times I feel a tiny bit p/oed, but at the time we were married, my husband couldn't really afford to buy me a nice ring. He did give me a really nice ( and expensive) engagement ring several years back... but ... I lost it (.

So i just bought us these matching nice rings from ebay. We're pretty happy with them.

Losing my engagement ring is my worst nightmare! Ed bought me one that was a little bit too big, but now I have my wedding ring above it so it stays on

To the OP - don't feel guilty about wanting a ring, it's nice to be able to show it off knowing that your husband bought it for you. I'm sure in time he'll get you a beautiful one!

Saying all this, Ed had to buy his own ring! But I dont think it bothers him that much... He bought a tungsten one...

[aussiewench 9]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I guess many of us in this thread fall into your so called take on 'humiliating our fiance/spouse publicly' then hu because many of us have said how it wasn't something that could be afforded. One is allowed to be disappointed despite understanding.

[Necrotica 0]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I already mentioned your "tip" in my initial post. Bite me.

Thank you to everyone else that commented.

[Fandango 1,439]

I'm agreeing with Tmma....obviously it bothers the OP.....this should be a private matter since they haven't obviously resolved the issues as you have Aussie (or in most cases here, it's not an issue at all, which then is a different scenario).

Most men (if not all) will want to 'do their part' in what society says are the 'obligations'....and for a couple to transcend societal roles takes both sides to be on the same page...not saying 'ok' then coming online to say how disappointed one is because the other cannot afford something.

[Augustajim 0]

Rings are not what the relationship is based on. They are a symbol of the love that is the relationship. If its a five cent ring out of a gumball machine its still the token of the love that is the marriage. And whoever came up with this two months salary for the ring is a nut! or one heck of a good salesman. I have cars that I drive that don't equal two months salary.

Jim

[Marilyn. 340]

my rings were not the most expensive ones but my hubby picked them out all by himself and they mean a lot to me but my hubby means more to me then the rings even when he is sleeping on the couch and tells me to wake him up in an hour and I tired and here it is now an hour past when he told me to wake him up and he is still sleeping

Edited December 1, 2006 by MarilynP

[sarah and hicham 3]

Some girls like material things and even though no one likes to admit that some people just really want a nice diamond ring. That's ok. But can it just wait a while until you guys are more stable? We bought white gold bands for our wedding and plan on getting new rings next year probably.

[tmma 467]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I already mentioned your "tip" in my initial post. Bite me.

Thank you to everyone else that commented.

Bite you? I don't think so.

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I guess many of us in this thread fall into your so called take on 'humiliating our fiance/spouse publicly' then hu because many of us have said how it wasn't something that could be afforded. One is allowed to be disappointed despite understanding.

If my "so called take" included the "many on this thread" and if I had I quoted them too; and if they had also been complaining about it and going on about the disappointment in their fiance's financial status PUBLICALLY.......Then to answer your question...YES.

I was however, responding to the OP, I had not even read YOUR response; no idea why you are taking it so personally.

Edited December 1, 2006 by tmma

[sercontigo 1]

Coming from a guys-perspective, i cant afford a ring right now. And just as the diamond has brainwashed the girls, it has the same effect on the guys... i feel like sh!t for it. So right now we will just buy each other some not too expensive white gold wedding bands. Also i was thinking that in the future, i can surprise her with an engagement ring. Kind of a reverse order, but i think it would be a good surprise.

but love is more important than a fancy ring anyways.

This is the perfect response! Matt you are such a cutie and VERY sweet too.

David and I have plain, matching sterling silver bands for the wedding, I bought those for maybe $20. For the engagement, he got me a silver ring with a created diamond in it, in other words its a synthetic diamond(cubic zirconia). I know in the future if I choose something else, we will get it. Seriously, you can't tell its fake and silver cleans up really well when it needs it. I get NUMEROUS compliments on this ring and I would rather spend money on our honeymoon, wedding and other expenses. I think women are brainwashed too for diamonds with media, commercials etc. I know what real love is measured by and trust me, it ain't in carats.

But I know how you're feeling. Because of the visa thing, I can't really plan a wedding, and while I don't want a huge affair, most of my friends have had nice church weddings, and nice receptions, and with all of this, we gonna be lucky to have twinkies at a diner.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I already mentioned your "tip" in my initial post. Bite me.

Thank you to everyone else that commented.

Bite you? I don't think so.

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I guess many of us in this thread fall into your so called take on 'humiliating our fiance/spouse publicly' then hu because many of us have said how it wasn't something that could be afforded. One is allowed to be disappointed despite understanding.

If my "so called take" included the "many on this thread" and if I had I quoted them too; and if they had also been complaining about it and going on about the disappointment in their fiance's financial status PUBLICALLY.......Then to answer your question...YES.

I was however, responding to the OP, I had not even read YOUR response; no idea why you are taking it so personally.

yikes, do you guys have a bad history or something?

[Carol&Marc 0]

Material SHITE!

Go here for a good deal! I think you both can get what you want. Go to marry me or rings.

http://secure.bidz.com/main/default.asp?pr...dz.com/ht/promo

Edited December 1, 2006 by Carol&Marc

[tmma 467]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I already mentioned your "tip" in my initial post. Bite me.

Thank you to everyone else that commented.

Bite you? I don't think so.

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

I guess many of us in this thread fall into your so called take on 'humiliating our fiance/spouse publicly' then hu because many of us have said how it wasn't something that could be afforded. One is allowed to be disappointed despite understanding.

If my "so called take" included the "many on this thread" and if I had I quoted them too; and if they had also been complaining about it and going on about the disappointment in their fiance's financial status PUBLICALLY.......Then to answer your question...YES.

I was however, responding to the OP, I had not even read YOUR response; no idea why you are taking it so personally.

yikes, do you guys have a bad history or something?

No. Not as far as I know.

Edited December 1, 2006 by tmma

[sarah and hicham 3]

What's the deal? Tmma was offering you good and sound advice. I guess some people don't like to hear the truth sometimes. Wowzers.

[tmma 467]

too late to edit.

When someone posts; I just say what I honestly think regardless of who the poster happens to be.....People post on a public forum expecting what? Only ONE kind response? Everyone is different with different takes on things.....

Anyway no bad history here .

[Fandango 1,439]

What's the deal? Tmma was offering you good and sound advice. I guess some people don't like to hear the truth sometimes. Wowzers.

Come collect your prize!