Feeling guilty...

[Necrotica 0]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

[edsperfect 25]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

When my wife and i got married I didn't give her a ring either. We had no money for a ring and just enough money from wedding presents to go on a honeymoon in the next state, as long as it was cheap. We had 25 years of a good life and i bought her many wonderful things afterwards. I never heard her complain about the ring.

I also know many that have spent 30,000.00 on a ring and 50,000.00 on a marriage that lasted 3 years.

SO what do you want? A long and happy marrage or an expensive wedding and a 5 carat flawless diamond? Myself, i think women have been brainwashed by the diamond industry to think diamonds are a wonderful thing when they are overpriced little trinkets that have no intrinsic value but just marketing hype. Thjast also holds true with the wonderful marketing skills of the wedding industry. Go to a rest. and say you weant to make a rerservation for 125 and they will kiss your a--. Tell them it is for a wedding and they will triple the cost and charge you for the room.

[Nizzy 1]

I agree with the whole brainwashing thing. Just look at all those commercials...especially the one for Jareds where the other wives and girlfriends get angry at there husbands for not getting them jewelry from there. That commercial just makes me laugh. To the OP...if you had to choose between your man and the ring which one would it be? I'm sure he would give you everything in the world that you desired for if he could. I still get people, mostly women, who want to see my ring as soon as they find out I'm married. I have a simple gold wedding band and the look on their faces is so funny, it's like: "Oh it's pretty and so different." lol...

[JaJo 1]

Hi,

I might be able to help, a little. I'll be the one buying the wedding rings - I want them to be custom made, 18k gold, and it turns out it's way less expensive to have them made here.

He wanted to buy me a diamond ring, but I really think that at this point, with so many expenses going on, it would be...silly. I'd prefer he uses that money to fly down here instead.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

For what it's worth, here is an Italian Jeweler that has some really beautifully designed rings that are cheap.

http://www.forzieri.com/usa/product_view.a...amp;id_valore5=

[mRx 16]

Coming from a guys-perspective, i cant afford a ring right now. And just as the diamond has brainwashed the girls, it has the same effect on the guys... i feel like sh!t for it. So right now we will just buy each other some not too expensive white gold wedding bands. Also i was thinking that in the future, i can surprise her with an engagement ring. Kind of a reverse order, but i think it would be a good surprise.

but love is more important than a fancy ring anyways.

[Caladan 19]

There's no rule that says that you can't get plain white gold or gold bands now, or heck, even silver, and replace them with a more beautiful band or ring once you're more financially secure.

[aussiewench 9]

I don't have a wedding ring from my hubby. Instead I wear my paternal grandmothers ring as an engagement ring and my maternal grandmothers wedding ring. This is my third marriage and I came to the conclusion a long long time ago that a ring really means nothing if it means being broke or spending more than can be afforded. Love and being together is everything. I wear an inexpensive second hand ring on my right hand (only finger it will fit properly) that hubby gave to me with his spur of the moment proposal. I wouldn't part with it for anything as it has too much sentimental value. A ring is just a symbol, no matter the cost. When we can afford it, he is having a ring made for me with a gemstone his deceased father gave to him. Nothing still will replace the rings I already wear.

[Caladan 19]

But I know how you're feeling. Because of the visa thing, I can't really plan a wedding, and while I don't want a huge affair, most of my friends have had nice church weddings, and nice receptions, and with all of this, we gonna be lucky to have twinkies at a diner.

[Mary Lou 682]

I don't have a wedding ring from my hubby. Instead I wear my paternal grandmothers ring as an engagement ring and my maternal grandmothers wedding ring. This is my third marriage and I came to the conclusion a long long time ago that a ring really means nothing if it means being broke or spending more than can be afforded. Love and being together is everything. I wear an inexpensive second hand ring on my right hand (only finger it will fit properly) that hubby gave to me with his spur of the moment proposal. I wouldn't part with it for anything as it has too much sentimental value. A ring is just a symbol, no matter the cost. When we can afford it, he is having a ring made for me with a gemstone his deceased father gave to him. Nothing still will replace the rings I already wear.

Well said

This is my 2nd marriage and a diamond wasnt important to me. We do have rings which we decided on inexpensive ones. Like Aussiewench said, love and being together is everything

[Ladylethal 12]

We had 18k gold bands made from my father's gold business, and it was very inexpensive for a really good, solid pair of rings. I couldn't wish for more. I love my ring.

[Peggy 1]

Love is more important that a ring.

When you both get settled, and he surprises you with one. It will mean more to you at that time.

I am glad a have a beautiful ring, but if I didnt. It wouldnt mean that my husband loved me any less.

This visa process takes a chunk out of all our wallets. Well of course unless you have money to burn.

I think probley 75 percent of us on here, are just trying to survive.

Dont beat yourself up about having feelings that you would love a ring. Thats just natural.

[cmartyn 0]

My wife got a gold band with no diamond in it that I bought from her brother for whatever gold cost / oz at the time. I think it was like 30 bucks :-) To this day, everytime I want to buy her a diamond one she looks at me like Im nuts or something. Shes a practical girl and prefers cash. If she wants to impress anyone, she can wear a fake.

[tmma 467]

I'm back to looking at wedding rings again, and I can't help feeling like a selfish b!tch. Réjean (my Canadian fiancé) isn't going to be able to afford to get me a wedding ring. If I want one (or at least one that I can tolerate), I'm going to have to buy it myself. He can't afford one on top of the costs he's going to incur for the medical and the visa fee... plus who knows how on earth we'll get his stuff here...

I guess I'm just really disappointed. I shouldn't be... and I feel terrible that I am, but I can't help it. I should be incredibly happy that I get to bring him here and be with him... still... arrrgh.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with it? Anyone been in the same situation? Even knowing that I'm not alone will help.

You say " I guess I am just really disappointed..."...ABOUT WHAT??!! He is moving his life & leaving everything he knows there to move here for YOU...and you are on here complaining about no ring? If a ring means so much to you then get yourself shopping.

Maybe you should tell this to your fiance instead of humiliating him publicly by saying how he's financially inadequate.

...Sort it out if it's that important-You buy the rings! <<<that's a tip on how to deal with it, btw.

Edited December 1, 2006 by tmma

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

Don't feel guilty. I didn't get a wedding ring either, and at times I feel a tiny bit p/oed, but at the time we were married, my husband couldn't really afford to buy me a nice ring. He did give me a really nice ( and expensive) engagement ring several years back... but ... I lost it (.

So i just bought us these matching nice rings from ebay. We're pretty happy with them.