Fradulent husband married for a visa

[Mel&Lal 12]

I am truly sorry Taal that you had to go though this. Its truly hard when somebody uses you just for their own means and when you feel that nobody will support or believe you. Its so sad that others can just play with emotions with no regards what this would do the the other person. I hope that one day you will find peace after this whole mess.

[calygirl75 12]

Taal, while you weigh your options, do not make the mistake of being baited. the best reaction is non reaction to the emotional abuse you are being subjected. these snakes push buttons and can generate a cloud of confusion. they have multiple masks and they wear them according to the audience they have. remember everytime you give him that, you are the one that appears unreasonable or unstable.

be kind to yourself & your family (they may not understand now but you are saving them from living with a monster that will also use them and manipulate them). evaluate your existing options. take action. (just like you informed yourself on how to take yourself through the visa journey, find a way to extract that parasite from your lives.) be steadfast and do not waiver.

save yourself and your family. allow yourself a new start in life that doesn't include the venom he spews. you might find that the most healthy thing for you is just to cut him out. you may decide there is no need to pursue the fraud option or to "expose him". that is so draining. and it can make you bitter. people like that eventually reap what they sow.

[Darnell 8,478]

She has all rights...So does he. That's exactly why I came to his defense. I'm all for her getting best advice; and I'm also for him not to be thrown under the bridge

Just to be clear -

I am , for him (the foreign spouse) to be thrown under the bridge.

Actions have consequences - His actions demand 'those' consequences.

[taal 28]

First of all thank you to every one that gave me there suggestions. Secondly, let me remind you that this is not a fraudulent marriage, I approached my husband to go to counseling, he refused. He does not speak English well, or hardly so he has the mentality of why go to people for help. Secondly, if I an American born raised woman, could stay in India for one year, and let me remind you, I've only been there each time for our relationship, engagement, marriage, visa appointment. India, is not the place I see myself returning, I was shocked at how a woman was always under the control of her family, well this family I married in to. I was not allowed to leave with out others. We lived in Chandigarh, a city....Long story short, I know how much I despised being in a country without my family, or having the freedom to walk were I wanted or when I wanted to...But did so, only for my husband to be by my side to start our lives. I also knew and was okay with his parents living with us in the future he is the only son after all... HIs dad resides in New York, he is an illegal has been for 25 years.

Whenever we had an issue it was escalated to a family meeting, I prefer my personal life private. But since it's an arranged marriage we got family involved. After numerous sit-downs, I was told I was over reacting about finances. Yes, I do not intent to live with my parents my entire life. And it hurts that he has to send 80% of his income to India. Yes, he should realize that I work and attend school as well, and sacrificed numerous opportunities of attending nursing school, for my husband do to being in India. I'm not upset he's sending money to India, just most of it. I have a great relationship with his parents, Always communicate with them on a regular basis. But they just tell me he'll mature after a while. Or the fact that I should not be selfish and move to Texas where his one cousin lives. Ironic, this was spoken about prior to marriage. HIs dad seems to be not considering that most of my units will not transfer to Texas University, I already checked, and my entire family extended and all live in California, his Dad lives in New York, so I would expect him to move there......

Long story short, I filed for divorce today, after the last sit-down meeting yesterday. I have no proof, I packed my belongings and left., my household. In the process of changing my number, but really can't, my mom is terminally ill from Leukemia, and another reason I live at home, to care for her. I signed a pre-nup prior to marriage to make sure the inheritance I received from my grandparents in a couple years wasn't taken. I sent the Indian embassy letters of what is going on and how he wants to get married in India again....

the Last information you guys should know is, in 2004 his dad paid a woman from the states to India to bring his son over through fiancé visa, he was caught. It made it extremely difficult for his fiancé visa to be approved with me thus ended in denial. That was the main issue I had to stay in India to prove a bonfide marriage...God watches all, I can not be bought, nor will I ever except his money. I am and have been self made my entire life, living with my parents because of our culture....

[taal 28]

It would be even more incredulous, if he indeed was a part of an elaborate multi-year conspiracy and spilled the beans for no reason. He is not presented as an emotional or stupid person, and he didn't need anything from OP for further immigration purposes (as more experienced members here assert.)

Why would he offer a pay off? Makes no sense.

I think he just wanted to move on, didn't want the OP to cling, and also offered to pay OP back for all of her expenses. This is more than many sponsoring spouses are offered at break up. There appears nothing wrong with his behavior; and again, the only close to the matter people - her parents - believe likewise.

I stayed away here, I have nothing to gain by defending his rights. But when I saw the wall of people just barge in with presumption of his guilt, and how he must be lynched...This is un-American, and that's why USCIS doesn't act on no evidence

clingy I am not, that's the last thing I am all about. 3 years for a relationship you forget its pretty much one year after marriage of living together, prior to that it was a phone call once a month. He had other obligations, his cousins and sisters were getting married.

I can also contact the embassy of his dads illegal status of being here so long, but won't do that. I am not that spiteful, and fully believe in karma, what goes around comes around. My faith is strong with God, and he sees all.

And because he offered me money, I would never take it, I can't be bought this wasn't a paid venture for me, it was a lifetime commitment. But just because he says he'll give me 20k do you think he has it? No, if he did he would have helped his parents out with all there debt and not have been sending is income to India. I guess I expected to much with sharing finances in a marriage, or being honest.

[taal 28]

Whatever this means, I feel like a sole voice defending someone accused of conspiracy. The victim's parents, who live with the man, don't believe he is a conspirator; but a score of people who drummed conspiracy up out of zero evidence, based strictly on gender and nationality of a person, are all over the story. Yes, OP is a victim (of unfortunately unhappy marriage). I sympathize, I'd been abandoned by a spouse too - but It's life, and we have to take the bumps, and we have to carry the burden of own stupidity. And when it comes to love, I might just do it again...and I again will NOT be blaming her for my love.

OP should certainly have the benefit of the best advice, and I'm not surprised with OP's moving Topic. I am surprised at the ease with which people are ready to brutally jump on a person presumed innocent

My parents don't believe me because they don't believe in divorce. they are from a traditional Indian background were divorce is never an option. I have grown up watching my mom never speak up to my dad and obey everything he has said.

Imagine having family meetings were your told your at fault for questioning your husband disconnecting his phone service after he ran up your bill by 500 dollars. Imagine being told its okay if your husband does not call you while he's on the truck 6 days a week, imagine being told that if he does not give you his password to his bank account its okay. But he deserves to have yours and does have my password. Imagine him putting single on his Facebook status....Yes your right I am expecting to much.....

[SingleDad2usc 71]

You project as a wonderful woman, but he didn't appreciate you. I know a lot of wonderful people who are unfortunate in love. I am happy for you that you are finally resolving this marriage. Best wishes!

My parents don't believe me because they don't believe in divorce. they are from a traditional Indian background were divorce is never an option. I have grown up watching my mom never speak up to my dad and obey everything he has said.

Imagine having family meetings were your told your at fault for questioning your husband disconnecting his phone service after he ran up your bill by 500 dollars. Imagine being told its okay if your husband does not call you while he's on the truck 6 days a week, imagine being told that if he does not give you his password to his bank account its okay. But he deserves to have yours and does have my password. Imagine him putting single on his Facebook status....Yes your right I am expecting to much.....

[taal 28]

Lastly it was an arranged marriage that was brought up from my dads brother. I objected many times, did not want to deal with a person starting fresh here, or the problems that would be faces with differences. But I was told that I might be prejudice to oversea guys from India not all are the same, and it would be the best case for the family.

[Darnell 8,478]

Good for you, on the steps you've taken this week !!

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Yes, good for you! You can see what his family is like, if the dad already paid someone to do a fake marriage to get his son to the US. This one was the same, but with an unfortunate victim. Is this son your husband or his brother? Really sorry this happened to you. I also like the idea of an annulment based on fraud. Best of luck going forward.

[milimelo 4,479]

First of all thank you to every one that gave me there suggestions. Secondly, let me remind you that this is not a fraudulent marriage, I approached my husband to go to counseling, he refused. He does not speak English well, or hardly so he has the mentality of why go to people for help. Secondly, if I an American born raised woman, could stay in India for one year, and let me remind you, I've only been there each time for our relationship, engagement, marriage, visa appointment. India, is not the place I see myself returning, I was shocked at how a woman was always under the control of her family, well this family I married in to. I was not allowed to leave with out others. We lived in Chandigarh, a city....Long story short, I know how much I despised being in a country without my family, or having the freedom to walk were I wanted or when I wanted to...But did so, only for my husband to be by my side to start our lives. I also knew and was okay with his parents living with us in the future he is the only son after all... HIs dad resides in New York, he is an illegal has been for 25 years.

Whenever we had an issue it was escalated to a family meeting, I prefer my personal life private. But since it's an arranged marriage we got family involved. After numerous sit-downs, I was told I was over reacting about finances. Yes, I do not intent to live with my parents my entire life. And it hurts that he has to send 80% of his income to India. Yes, he should realize that I work and attend school as well, and sacrificed numerous opportunities of attending nursing school, for my husband do to being in India. I'm not upset he's sending money to India, just most of it. I have a great relationship with his parents, Always communicate with them on a regular basis. But they just tell me he'll mature after a while. Or the fact that I should not be selfish and move to Texas where his one cousin lives. Ironic, this was spoken about prior to marriage. HIs dad seems to be not considering that most of my units will not transfer to Texas University, I already checked, and my entire family extended and all live in California, his Dad lives in New York, so I would expect him to move there......

Long story short, I filed for divorce today, after the last sit-down meeting yesterday. I have no proof, I packed my belongings and left., my household. In the process of changing my number, but really can't, my mom is terminally ill from Leukemia, and another reason I live at home, to care for her. I signed a pre-nup prior to marriage to make sure the inheritance I received from my grandparents in a couple years wasn't taken. I sent the Indian embassy letters of what is going on and how he wants to get married in India again....

the Last information you guys should know is, in 2004 his dad paid a woman from the states to India to bring his son over through fiancé visa, he was caught. It made it extremely difficult for his fiancé visa to be approved with me thus ended in denial. That was the main issue I had to stay in India to prove a bonfide marriage...God watches all, I can not be bought, nor will I ever except his money. I am and have been self made my entire life, living with my parents because of our culture....

Bravo for you for sticking to your guns and making the move! Glad he or parents didn't manage to talk you out of it.

May want to include USCIS/ICE on your correspondence. That way you're covering both bases - USCIS when he petitions his Indian girlfriend (so it's included in his A file) and Embassy so they have it on file when his girlfriend comes for the interview.

Question - you mention his father is an illegal in the US for 25 years. What did your (ex)husband put down when filling out embassy forms? Some clearly require to indicate status in the US of parents, siblings, spouse, children...

[taal 28]

The forms it was placed he paid his taxes and were unknown of the status.. before 2011 he was here on work permit, however after 2011 it was denied after 9/11/.. he continued living here but paying higher taxes...

texas his cousin, his uncles son lives there

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

First of all thank you to every one that gave me there suggestions. Secondly, let me remind you that this is not a fraudulent marriage, I approached my husband to go to counseling, he refused. He does not speak English well, or hardly so he has the mentality of why go to people for help. Secondly, if I an American born raised woman, could stay in India for one year, and let me remind you, I've only been there each time for our relationship, engagement, marriage, visa appointment. India, is not the place I see myself returning, I was shocked at how a woman was always under the control of her family, well this family I married in to. I was not allowed to leave with out others. We lived in Chandigarh, a city....Long story short, I know how much I despised being in a country without my family, or having the freedom to walk were I wanted or when I wanted to...But did so, only for my husband to be by my side to start our lives. I also knew and was okay with his parents living with us in the future he is the only son after all... HIs dad resides in New York, he is an illegal has been for 25 years.

Whenever we had an issue it was escalated to a family meeting, I prefer my personal life private. But since it's an arranged marriage we got family involved. After numerous sit-downs, I was told I was over reacting about finances. Yes, I do not intent to live with my parents my entire life. And it hurts that he has to send 80% of his income to India. Yes, he should realize that I work and attend school as well, and sacrificed numerous opportunities of attending nursing school, for my husband do to being in India. I'm not upset he's sending money to India, just most of it. I have a great relationship with his parents, Always communicate with them on a regular basis. But they just tell me he'll mature after a while. Or the fact that I should not be selfish and move to Texas where his one cousin lives. Ironic, this was spoken about prior to marriage. HIs dad seems to be not considering that most of my units will not transfer to Texas University, I already checked, and my entire family extended and all live in California, his Dad lives in New York, so I would expect him to move there......

Long story short, I filed for divorce today, after the last sit-down meeting yesterday. I have no proof, I packed my belongings and left., my household. In the process of changing my number, but really can't, my mom is terminally ill from Leukemia, and another reason I live at home, to care for her. I signed a pre-nup prior to marriage to make sure the inheritance I received from my grandparents in a couple years wasn't taken. I sent the Indian embassy letters of what is going on and how he wants to get married in India again....

the Last information you guys should know is, in 2004 his dad paid a woman from the states to India to bring his son over through fiancé visa, he was caught. It made it extremely difficult for his fiancé visa to be approved with me thus ended in denial. That was the main issue I had to stay in India to prove a bonfide marriage...God watches all, I can not be bought, nor will I ever except his money. I am and have been self made my entire life, living with my parents because of our culture....

All I can say is, Way to go Taal! You are a strong woman! Hats off to you. I am sorry to hear about your mom. My prayers for her. Be strong!

[verysadguy 170]

LIsten to Sandra. It is your choice to live your life. I was being scammed, and I removed my daughter and myself from a poisonous relationship. I was lied to everyday for 6 months straight. And do make all the reports to USCIS, ICE, your congressman, the Embassy, and Homeland Security Investigations. It can make a difference. Do not let scammers get away with their sociopathic behavior cheating American taxpayers.

Considering what you told here you were scammed and you know that, what's keeping you still living with a man and being intimate with him when he clearly told you I will divorce you and get married to another woman? We are all choices. it's not your fault to be scammed, but it's your responsibility to remove yourself from a poisoning situation like that. Do it something now otherwise you will see yourself in a few years watching him here in the U.S with another woman and their kids.

Get divorced, kick him out, report him to Ice and USCIS ,despite they will not remove him at all, and to make his life a bit harder email the US Embassy in India as well, they may not issue a CR1 visa to his "future" wife , because probably he will sponsor her when he becomes american. Please don't be naive filing I-751 jointly after everything he told you huh? Good luck

[SingleDad2usc 71]

OP has braved her surroundings and filed for divorce. She is a great woman, and lets wish her to climb the hill to self-establishment and self-worth. OP, on your road of self-achievement, many triumphs await you - and your true love will come chasing you with gifts, not the other way around!