Why are so many American Men connecting with Filipina's

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Angeles City is what YOU make of it, period. Visit the bars, you get bar girls looking to make money. Visit the surrounding area, and you meet people just like us... wanting to make an honest living, and be happy. But unlike a lot of spoiled "richer" peoples, many Pinays/Pinoys are happy with a simpler life.

If you're looking to drink and party, there's always The Bar and San Miguel Light (over ice, of course) in just about ANY province. No need to pay those hefty bar fines to enjoy your time in the PI...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

There have been a few posts in the past, where some girls from Angeles City have run into problems getting approved. I remember one girl that just showed where she worked in a restaurant for a couple weeks on her bio and had to endure extra screening. I don't remember the outcome of that. If the area is growing, and losing some of that stigma, then hopefully that has become less of an issue.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Some real dumbasses on here, still, and and prolly always will be. Sorry, Charles, but it's true.

The Philippines is a MATRIARCHAL society. Look that up, read it, and understand it before you think they are a subservient group of women. Some may be, but most aren't. My wife isn't. And I don't know very many who are.

But dedicated, loving, and jealous? Yes. Mine is. And most I know are. Also, harder working than most of the men in their society.

Why am I with mine? What attracted me? First, it was the glance across a crowded room. Then a conversation. Then a kiss I remembered for months afterwards, though it wasn't a sexual kiss at all. But very sensual. She kissed my core. And then there's the scent... my wife doesn't seem to understand, but her smell without perfume draws me to her like no woman before.

Lots of things. The beauty. The hair. The brown eyes that can be at once so full of love, and yet drip venom. It's not about a race, nor a country. I wasn't looking for love when I found my Pinay. But I'm thankful that our paths crossed, and very glad she saw something in me worth keeping. She's no better than a woman from any other country, except.... she loves ME. And that makes her one of a kind.

Yes it is... and my wife is living proof. She is the oldest and for sure the alpa of her siblings and I have seen other family members back away from her when the "fire is lite".... Ya know that saying "don't mess with the ... "

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

A Crusty Old Perv by ANY name is still... a Crusty Old Perv. Thought I recognized the style. AC will always be what it is, an easy way to make lots of money. That's life. But the girls around here that I know from AC are not like them of which ye allude...

I know what you mean, Hank. One sister is very meek. And pretty. But I got the not-at-all meek one. And I'm lucky. As she reminds me all the time, I got the best one. (heavy brown-eyed look)

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Just had a good chuckle reading the "other" thread that got locked by mods. How sad, I was looking forward to responding to it after 6 pages, only to find it locked. But I wanted to say BRAVO to Steve for his list of reasons, I agree with the many who said he nailed it. Not a complete list by any means, but certainly hit the top ones.

I thought it interesting that amriki-bhai joined only 8 months ago, has over 1700 posts, doesn't seem to have any immigration process going on, yet feels the need to disparage Filipinas or those who opt to marry them. But at least it seems the Pinay forum isn't his only target. Equal opportunist, that one. And a tad inflammatory.

And for the record, no foreigner who moves to Canada at a young age is turned into a Caucasian. They would have to move to Europe, North Africa, the Horn of Africa, or Western, Central or South Asia to be considered Caucasian.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Yup ... hangs around a lot but still troll comes to mind as all he does is stir things...

And the other topic was going along very nicely until the "drifters" showed up and well even though the posts got deleted you get the drift.

Edited August 10, 2013 by Hank_

[cjmc 10]

Yup ... hangs around a lot but still troll comes to mind as all he does is stir things...

And the other topic was going along very nicely until the "drifters" showed up and well even though the posts got deleted you get the drift.

I truly was enjoying some of the thoughts on that thread....instead of locking it up for all those that participate in a positive manner, maybe the ones causing the problems should be warned and then locked out of the forum for a while.....

There will always be someone out there that is trying to ruin it for the rest of us....:-(

What is the appeal process for trying to get a thread reopened ???

cjmc

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

What is the appeal process for trying to get a thread reopened ???

cjmc

http://www.visajourney.com/contact/

Good luck! He almost never responds.

Second option:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/user/18678-kathryn41/

She does answer her PM's.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Also, be aware there is a history of similar threads, they always get closed, and are one of the reasons why there are regional forums today.

[Lingladyinred19 13]

Because filipina are caring, loyal, very respecful and loving .. Its a package

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Because filipina are caring, loyal, very respecful and loving .. Its a package

Exactly.

[Dan and Judy 614]

THE INTERACTION

The question was: "Why are so many American men connecting with Filipinas?" (The question solicits answers about generalizations and trends, not specifics.)

MIRICK02's answer was: "Because a Filipina wife finds joy in serving her husband." (An answer that clearly assumes that a majority (at most) or a part of the population (at the least) are sought after by American men primarily because they are servile wives.

I chimed in with: "Not all Filipino women are passive and servile, mind you. Have a little dignity, ma'am." (Filipino women I know who are industry leaders and professionals would cringe at MIRICK02's statement. And I did say, "Have a little dignity, MA'AM." Not "Have a little dignity, DUNGBEETLE." There IS a difference.)

Yes the difference is in the first one your insult is thinly veiled behind the word MA"AM

THE DISSECTION

So what is she referring to when she said something was "below the belt"? That MIRICK02 is a servile wife? Clearly not, because she is proud of being one and takes her cue from the Bible (paraphrase from personal communication with MIRICK02).

What she perceives is below the belt is that I implied that she has no dignity. The Asian aversion to losing face also amplifies her reaction.

However, if she really believes that being a servile wife is a virtue,why was she so bothered by what I said?

In the preceding sentence you acknowledge that you insulted her, Then you claim because she is "Asian" she is more upset by your insult than she should be.

If you werent so busy seeing how many big words you could string together you might understand that she didn't object to your statement that not all Filipinas are submissive. She objected to you insulting her

WHAT IT COULD MEAN

It means to me that you are over-compensating for something.

This is my theory: MIRICK02 is having conniptions (as opposed to treating this whole exchange as your usual VisaJourney debate) possibly because part of her agrees with me. That promising woman/girl who has been shoved (By whom? Social and religious norms perhaps.) into the most isolated and hard-to-reach recesses of her brain--that woman who could have been something more than servant-wife, that woman who could have done just fine IN ANY COUNTRY--has been awakened.

This theory falls under the broad category of BS

I'm curious. What has amplified your reaction?

This is a great example of cognitive dissonance, more specifically dissonance reduction. Here's the reader-friendly Wiki quote:

"Cognitive dissonance theory explains human behavior by positing that people have a bias to seek consonance between their expectations and reality. According to Festinger, people engage in a process he termed "dissonance reduction," which can be achieved in one of three ways: lowering the importance of one of the discordant factors, adding consonant elements, or changing one of the dissonant factors. This bias sheds light on otherwise puzzling, irrational, and even destructive behavior."

Sounds like hiding your agression behind Psycho babble to me

[Telion 2]

This question perplexed me, I myself wondered why many american men were marrying filipina women. But what is interesting and unique for me is that i did not begin to ask myself this question until after I had started dating one (from abroad) . I will start with my specific situation, I was at the tail end of a failing marriage of many years (to an asian woman born outside of the US but moved here at a very young age). Our marriage started great she was americanized but still held some of her traditional values (from what I thought) as our marriage moved forward a couple years i found those values were predominantly there only when around her family. Long story short that marriage ended. At the end and through the duration of that marriage I had learned what I wanted it my life-mate from several aspects, and I knew I had no desire to be single so as soon as I knew my marriage was ending I began my search for what I really wanted after compromising to a point of self disregard as an effort to make the one marriage for life concept work. I knew I did not want to marry anyone from the US, this was not out of dissatisfaction for women here i have had many short and long term relationships with American women, i think it was more about a personal attraction to Asian women and the desire to marry one that had stronger asian cultural ties and traditions (there is some irony in there, such as loving converse shoes). Being someone of an average income i could not afford to make random visits overseas in hopes to find the one so I began talking to women online casually and initially without even the desire to have a long distance relationship of any kind other than friendship this process was only to learn about the differences in the asian cultures through direct conversation with people from different countries on a first hand basis and possibly make some penpal friends abroad. In doing so I learned that very much like in the US, people from different parts of Asia are different from other parts (environmental influence, not a generalization) and within that i kept the understanding that at the individual level within each environment everyone is unique. Ok so back on topic and to my quest. After brief conversations with who knows how many people there was one I truly connected with, she enjoyed many of the things I enjoyed racing (for her motorcycles, for me cars) she came from a similar upbringing in terms of parental personality traits, an influence on who we are that i never thought to consider, our desire for organization structure and cleanliness were similar, and we had similar taste in design and style. And on top of all of that she was a dragon in the chinese zodiac just like I am (meaningless unless you match the characteristics of your sign, as I do). There were only two problems at that point she had no desire to be in a relationship and absolutely no desire to be in a long distance relationship, and was definitely not interested in moving to the US, but had considered Canada for employment purposes. which was fair because my disclosed intent was to make friends and learn about people in other countries, not to find someone to get into a long distance relationship with. So we talked for a couple months found out how much we had in common and how compatible we were personality wise. I then pressed for a relationship of some kind and she finally gave in and agreed to try it.

Now since this time jumping forward about 5 months I have gone to visit her we met up in the Philippines, she works in Hong Kong, and I live in the US and had a wonderful time together,with more opportunity to learn more about each other in person (key learning moment here) no matter how well you think you know someone even personality wise you will find that countless texting conversations and even video chatting will not show you many aspects to a persons personality it is all still very controlled for lack of a better way to put it, just good indicators of compatibility at best. For example i did not see any traits of her being a dragon through the months of contact I had with her and the few hints of characteristics that I did see I confused as a language barrier . But when we met I saw quite clearly the zodiac dragon side of her in her personality and it is by no means submissive in public. If your a guy with a superiority complex you would not have made a suitable mate with my fiance's personality. But with that comes the treatment of a king, so long as I remember she is my queen. Fortunately for us we fell even further in love after spending time together alone and with her family and learning more about who we are personality wise. And it was at this point we solidified our desire to marry.

Now with all that do I still fear some of the horror stories I have read about and have previously questioned some of the complications we encountered of course, but who hasn't in any relationship of any kind and if you say me be weary of any rocks being thrown your way for your relationship resides in a house potentially made of glass. Did any of that have to do with why I wanted a filipina, nope and I didn't really specifically and that as well as many other contrasts to stereotypes within my story exemplify the importance of not classifying people based on what you want and at best use it as a pool of possibility knowing that anything in it can be or not be equal to the generalization of a stereotype, you are more likely to get what you seek. Problem most often is people seek one thing and expect another. Every individuals shared desire to be a couple has a symbiotic purpose but not until you determine what that purpose is for each can decide if it is mutually beneficial, so my surmise is given the poverty level of many provinces in the Philippines and the average income of a divorced white male in their 40's seeking romance there is a larger pool of symbiotic needs, enough so to create a generalization and questions such as that which triggered this topic here and elswhere. For me though I love my doe as an individual and yes i am instinctively drawn to a small stature ( I'm not big myself) long beautiful black hair and eyes that melt my heart. And admittedly I did look at the statical value of divorced older males who marry never married younger filipina females having a much lower divorce rate .

Edited August 10, 2013 by Telion

[Piso Envy 5]

I think what might be going on with your comment is a generalization based on information that is pretty negative about the area of Angles City....

From my understanding, because of the influence of Clark Airbase filled with the American military during WWll that prostitution and easy women was very prominent.

If you actually think about most cities, there are good area's and bad area's and the influence of military bases all over the world certainly has created some negative identities in the culture of those area's.

That does not mean that those areas in general have not changed and are still that way.

I have made 4 trips to Angeles City in less than 9 months and have seen the good and the bad......but in general.....I see a nice place with lots of ambition, new construction and more worldly change for the good.....

Please do not generalize your thoughts like this.....it is not fair to the people that are good and really understand.

Just my thoughts....

Cheers,

cjmc

There is indeed more to Angeles City than the entertainment district of Balibago, Pampanga.

[Darnell 8,478]

Because filipina are caring, loyal, very respecful and loving .. Its a package

Yup ! Agree ! IMO, is a great example of the sticky glue I mentioned earlier.