Struggling at work and withdrawing.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Ridiculous?

Not ridiculous at all, as (from her own words) her husband's business is losing business because of her accent.

She's feeling bad about the loss of business, (from her own words).

Change the accent, the world round her rebalances.

I'm glad you're not any type of psychologist or counselor. Your advice makes it seem as if she has a problem. She doesn't.

But, that's all I'll say on the matter.

[Darnell 8,479]

withdrawing due to financial loss at husband's business is not a problem, by your standards? OK !

[Redflame2012 32]

Lynndy,

I had the same trouble. After a while, I refused to use the phone and wouldn't speak whilst shopping unless I had to. The looks people gave me when I spoke! Well,....anyone would think I was speaking another language, but it does get better. You must not shy away from telephone or face to face interactions. Just try to speak slower - I was told I was speaking very quickly. Whether thats true or not I'm sure but gradually it worked. I don't get the blank stares anymore ...

Good luck!

Redx

[HeatDeath 430]

When I visited the UKfor vacation in 1999 I thought I was ready for the accents. Then I walked into a McDonalds and the young lady behind the counter said "C'ai'elp?"

Three "Excuse me?"'s later she slowed it down to an understandable but still highly accented "Can.. I.. help?" I felt like an idiot.

Obligatory Simpson's Quote: "I'm from Canada, so they think I'm slow, eh?"

Edited July 19, 2013 by HeatDeath

[Darnell 8,479]

Hi guys,

I am lucky enough to have had a job open to me as soon as I arrived as my husband owns his business.

My problem is I have turned into a nervous wreck whilst I'm there, mainly due to the fact I hate when I am faced with the blank stare after Ive spoken and people haven't understood me. I live in a small, very southern town and some of the locals really seem a bit scared of me (and I of them!!!) There's been a few times Ive answered the phone and had it put down on me,I'm presuming they hear my English accent and think they have the wrong number. I hate to think Im losing my husband new patients and freaking people out. There's a Hispanic community here too, we then have an even more uncomfortable mixture of people not understanding each other.

I have now withdrawn and am tending to only go into the office when I know other people won't be there......weekends and the day off midweek that we have.

It's awful not feeling comfortable in the environment that I live in, my husband has been amazing but I know he's getting frustrated with me.

I feel a total failure right now. Did anyone else have trouble settling in?

Hey Lynddy - I have the exact same problem, some times.

When I'm in a small town, my 'native accent' sounds like 'flat british', or the same accent you would hear on BBC 4. I had some problem with it for a few days, but remembered 'I can speak Texan also' so I changed my accent and encountered no further problems.

In small towns, there are lots of 'hicks' (my word) and if they cannot understand me, or even think I don't fit in, then all kinds of silliness would ensue - mostly resulting in shunning and flat refusal to talk with me.

Speaking Texan is a boon (not a boondoggle) as most folk in small towns understand Texan. The easiest way to resemble a Texas accent is to simply slow down, and add 'y'all' at the end of every other sentence. Sure, it takes a lot of work to get used to doing this, but I feel you can do it.

I was serious about seeking an elocutionist, as silly as it would sound. If you cannot find a professional elocutionist in your area (and I'm a thinking it'll be impossible) then I suggest you engage with someone that doesn't know you, and have them teach you the local accent, over two or three weekends..

Once you have the local accent (or learn Texan) you'll find the locals not having such a reaction to you.

Been there, done that, in about 10 different cities now. Heck, I even have the reverse problem when i'm in Liverpool, the locals think I'm posh and won't sell me a curry at the right price

[St&Sv 33]

I had the same feeling. I teach in a small southern town and people don't understand me and I even had parents tell me "What? Why can't you speak American"

I learned that it is not my problem, it is theirs. You just need to be patient and don't change yourself to fit into their mold.

Good luck

Hang in there, I honestly don't see what would be the issue with a British Accent. Though I can imagine if it's a small southern town they may not be as open to it, but kill them with kindness and treat them to that amazing accent! Be patient with them too, as the above quote is a sad thing about this country. Many have forgotten what created it and made it what it is today; immigration being the key . It definitely saddens me to hear fellow countrymen say "Speak American" as even the so called American language has many different dialects and accents as well. Northern people have different ways of saying things then Southerns and even Westerns in fact. Your country dweller, and deep southern man will have a language that even as an "American" speaker you will not understand as easily. Here in Pennsylvania we have the Amish and Pennsylvania Dutch who speak English and a type of German that gives them a unique accent.

I would talk to your Husband and let him know how you feel and your concerns. After all he is your rock and should understand and try to help. If the burden on you still persists I would look for a new, more enjoyable job. Try not to feel like you are failing him, after all the two of you went through a very long process together and came out the other end. You've uprooted yourself to be here in an unfamiliar place. So stay positive and keep communication with your husband open, and I believe you'll feel the burden lifted from your shoulders.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Hubby had problems when he first moved to NH with me, and I have had the same issues here in the UK with people not understanding me and me not understanding them. We both just learned to speak a bit more slowly and to expect to repeat ourselves at times. LOL...there are still times when we go out here in the UK and people will say something to me and I just have to shake my head and say pardon?? AND, hubby and I have known each other 10 years, married 7 in December and he'll say something occasionally to me and I just laugh and say...could you say that in American please??

I'm sure people love your accent! Hubby used to have people (especially young women ) saying OMG I LOVE YOUR ACCENT. I find it hard on the phone here in the UK sometimes...face to face conversation is easier to me. But, when I lived here 5 years ago, I was primarily employed on the phone and it was hard for a bit. I got used to it, and if I had a hard time understanding someone or they had a hard time understanding me, the conversation took a bit longer, but we normally ended up laughing about it. Don't pull away...stick with it and you'll be fine.

[katieflossom 54]

I'm from Wiltshire, and I remember when I was in Denver with my hubby at a restaurant and I ordered a "diet coke" I must have had to say it about 10 times (not exaggerating) until the waitress understood me...It was so embarrassing, people even started looking round as the waitress sort of yelled "I don't understand you"... It has scarred me until today haha! Now I just order lemonade everywhere

[codie 7]

Eyup Lyndy

after reading some comments here im thinking im screwed when i live there,Im from south Yorkshire,and quite often ive had to repeat myself several times and that was in London for the medical !!!! Ive noticed with my fiances family and friends they get a blank look at times when im talking and i know they are being polite but dont understand what im saying,so ive dropped thee and thar and nar and eyup or at least i try to mentally think before i speak knowing that not everyone has had the privaledge and advantage of being born 'Ooop north in Yorkshire' Keep yon chin up lass and dont let the buggers get yer darn,maybe there's a Brit group nearby that meets once in a while ? dont avoid em lyndy tackle em head on,best wishes and dont give up,i want to be inspired and reassured you did it for when i get there and i cant use eyup anymore , i guess it will be hard for me too now that im thinking about it

[lynndy38 64]

OMG you guys rock,

I smiled so much reading everyones responses THANK YOU!!!!

As much as I love the idea of elocution lessons my husband has said he'd kill me (not literally!) if I changed my accent as he loves it, we had a chat and he said many of his patients have said they love to hear me talk even if they haven't understood what Ive said! Which as nice as that is, I feel its important professionally that they DO understand me considering we're dealing with helping people in pain ( Chiropractic office )

I see many folk have suggested I slow down a bit, I think I also need to try using American words more......trash can/bin.......Chips/crisps etc.....although I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable saying tomaaaaado it just feels so wrong!

I don't know if I'll ever get used to answering the phone though, my husband likes us to answer in a certain way.....it's a bit of a mouthful so coupled with my accent it just seems to freak the callers out!

It's funny we think we speak the same language but once you're living here you really start to see the difference. Still I have more of an advantage than many other immigrants so I guess I should be grateful!!!

Edited July 19, 2013 by lynndy38

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

OMG you guys rock,

I smiled so much reading everyones responses THANK YOU!!!!

As much as I love the idea of elocution lessons my husband has said he'd kill me (not literally!) if I changed my accent as he loves it, we had a chat and he said many of his patients have said they love to hear me talk even if they haven't understood what Ive said! Which as nice as that is, I feel its important professionally that they DO understand me considering we're dealing with helping people in pain ( Chiropractic office )

I see many folk have suggested I slow down a bit, I think I also need to try using American words more......trash can/bin.......Chips/crisps etc.....although I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable saying tomaaaaado it just feels so wrong!

I don't know if I'll ever get used to answering the phone though, my husband likes us to answer in a certain way.....it's a bit of a mouthful so coupled with my accent it just seems to freak the callers out!

It's funny we think we speak the same language but once you're living here you really start to see the difference. Still I have more of an advantage than many other immigrants so I guess I should be grateful!!!

OMG, that is so funny! That is the ONLY thing I can't say the British way. I feel fake or sound like I'm trying to be really posh when I do. I always says crisps instead of chips, chips instead of french fries, and I even find myself saying slippy rather than slippery!

I'm just remembering the time about 5 years ago when I was working in the Barbour store and I told a man the item he was describing was a fanny pack

LOL...I had know idea that fanny was something else entirely here!

[lynndy38 64]

OMG, that is so funny! That is the ONLY thing I can't say the British way. I feel fake or sound like I'm trying to be really posh when I do. I always says crisps instead of chips, chips instead of french fries, and I even find myself saying slippy rather than slippery!

I'm just remembering the time about 5 years ago when I was working in the Barbour store and I told a man the item he was describing was a fanny pack

LOL...I had know idea that fanny was something else entirely here!

I know fanny pack is something that has me giggling to myself too!!!!

I have to really stop myself from saying 'oh god' or exclaiming 'jesus' when something shocks me. I'm in the bible belt here so that seems to offend people.

I do love it here, I just don't like feeling so........alien.

[rjm_cmyk 75]

I was wondering when anyone would get round to the words we Brits are used to using. I have never had any significant problems with language on the East or West coast and usually get the "gee I love your accent" although it's often followed by "which bit of Australia are you from". My English sense of humour tempts me say "the mother country" but I smile and move on.

I have found people looking blank when I speak to too quickly and when I use too much idiomatic English. I live and work in the London area and have done for 30 years but am an ex-pat northerner with some traces of brummie but most think I have a mid-England drawl with the odd bit of mockney thrown in.

I make a point of speaking more slowly (not insultingly slowly) and clearly than my usual high speed Lahndahn mumble with half the vowels and all of the consonants missing. I'm even more careful on the phone much as I would be in the UK.

To the OP - get out there and talk to people face to face. Watch them react and you'll know when they miss something but be aware it's often a phrase or saying that you've used that will throw them. And ask them - certainly friends , if they haven't understood you. It's chance to have a joke about it and many will actually enjoy learning a few things about British English - quite trendy to use it apparently.

It's ironic (I'm British it would have to be) that our general embarrassment about speaking a foreign language extends to trying our hand at American English.

And don't be embarrassed about it ! My gem (as I've mentioned on here before) was asking a bloke (sorry guy) if I could have a butchers at some spanners. What was I thinking. My partner's two sons thought it very funny - apparently I should have asked to see his collection of wrenches.....

[Holly2234 66]

I am in Northern NY (as far north as you can get without stepping into Canada!) in a very small town and there are very few foreign people and they just arent used to hearing the accent. People are often fascinated, shocked or just confused. I found it hard in the beginning and i was nervous of doing certain things. Ordering food is one of them, phone calls where i dont know quite how things work or im not sure of a word to use that people will understand is still hard at times. I am from Nottingham so i dont think i have too much of a difficult accent to get to grips with but there were some Brits at work the other day working at a camp for the summer and the other people i work with said they could understand them more easily than me. They had the "posh" accent that you hear on TV but not in real life very often!

I have trouble at work sometimes. Peoples fascination irritates me after 8 hours of them asking "Why are you here?". Quite frankly i dont want to explain my failed marriage to them! I often just reply with "Well, Walmart needed workers so here i am!". At times when people ask where im from, i think of a random state or country and more times that not, they believe me or know im talking ####### and just move on without further question! They dont often understand my sarcasm or jokes when i say something mean or a bit twisted, they back away and run for the hills thinking im being serious. The amount of times i have been reported for the things ive said when i was being sarcastic is insane! Thankfully my managers know and find it funny. They are more educated and have made a point of getting to know me so they can deal with this kind of thing.

I have had to change the way i pronounce some words and speak a lot slower. There are some words i refuse to say the American way because it just feels so fake. Tomato is one for me too!

The only thing i can suggest is just get out there and communicate. Dont be afraid of fitting in. It doesnt change who you are or where you come from but it does make your life a lot easier. Learn from them and they will do the same from you and people you speak to regularly will come to an understanding and it will become easier the more you do it.

I am also in a very religious town. The town sign says "Welcome to ......, Come to church with us on Sunday" and my "Oh God!" When something hasnt worked out raises a few eyebrows but most know its merely a phrase and get over it or make a point to avoid me. Their loss right?!

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I can understand where you are coming from here and sympathize. When I was road tripping across the US people either assumed I was Australian (why?!), or I had to keep repeating myself. I don't have much of a regional UK accent (although I do lapse into west country phrases at times) so it is frustrating. As others have pointed out the trick is to speak slowly and try not to use UK specific terms! I remember being in SD once and my British companion in a gas station saying "I need some fags" and getting the worst look from the employee's! For those who don't know fags are another term for cigarettes in England but it means something totally different in the US!!