Struggling at work and withdrawing.

[Protocol417 161]

Fighting stereotypes with stereotypes!

To be fair, we do think Britain is a small island. Because in comparison, it is

(I'm teasing, of course!)

My accent is very neutral but still I get the blank looks and requests to repeat myself. I have found Americans respond best to short sentences (their sentence structure is different from ours). They also don't use the same words or don't use the same words the same way so using typical English words sometimes causes confusion. I laugh it off now and just say - that mush be an "Englishism" and they think it's quaint.

I also found that most English people of our experience were taught how to answer a phone professionally (unlike most Americans I have met - sorry!) and people have actually thought my voice was an answering machine and hang up because I answer "thank for your calling "company name" - my name is "x" - how can I help" - which is hilarious!

My fiance (I'm from Chicago-ish, he's from Manchester-ish) and I have been together for almost three years and we still have issues with the words. For example, just a few hours ago we were talking on Skype about the embassy interview (we're gearing up for our NOA2) and I said "you can't bring electronics with you" instead of "you can't take electronics in with you". This was followed by an incredulous "What? Not even my iPad?" followed by "Especially not your iPad, hun!!!" I swear we spent 20 minutes blinking at each other wondering which one of us had just gone insane. He thought I meant he couldn't bring any electronics with him when he moves to the US, when of course I was just giving instructions on what to do when he goes for his interview

The answering machine thing is really funny and I can see why people would think that! Most places I've worked for, that's how people answer the phone, so the "answering the phone professionally" must be a regional thing, but so many companies here nowadays have answering machine recordings done by a person (usually a woman) with an English accent that it doesn't surprise me people think you're a recording!

I'm glad to see you can have fun with it, though. I'll admit, whenever I'm in the UK, especially any place where there aren't many American tourists (so basically anywhere not London), I stay as quiet as possible. Most people have been very friendly, especially younger people, but every so often I do think I get judged just a little more harshly (I have a slight Southern accent too, which probably doesn't help). For some reason, this seems to especially happen at coffee shops

[Ozz777 23]

Hi guys,

I am lucky enough to have had a job open to me as soon as I arrived as my husband owns his business.

My problem is I have turned into a nervous wreck whilst I'm there, mainly due to the fact I hate when I am faced with the blank stare after Ive spoken and people haven't understood me. I live in a small, very southern town and some of the locals really seem a bit scared of me (and I of them!!!) There's been a few times Ive answered the phone and had it put down on me,I'm presuming they hear my English accent and think they have the wrong number. I hate to think Im losing my husband new patients and freaking people out. There's a Hispanic community here too, we then have an even more uncomfortable mixture of people not understanding each other.

I have now withdrawn and am tending to only go into the office when I know other people won't be there......weekends and the day off midweek that we have.

It's awful not feeling comfortable in the environment that I live in, my husband has been amazing but I know he's getting frustrated with me.

I feel a total failure right now. Did anyone else have trouble settling in?

I can commiserate with what you are adjusting to, from two points of view. Firstly, my ex-wife was British (from Preston) and we lived in the Pittsburgh area of Pennsylvania where she struggled mightily with being understood by the locals. I never understood it because I thought she had a beautiful accent and understood her easily. Eventually, she learned that no offence was meant and to have a sense of humor about it. She was also able to secure additional income because of it, as several law firms hired her to do voice work for their answering systems.

A question; Are you normally happy answering phones and being the public voice of companies you've worked for?

Secondly, it was a similar adjustment for me when I moved to Australia. Being told by people with thick Aussie accents that I have an accent, being given that blank stare, or asked to repeat myself, or hung up on while on the phone were all things that I never anticipated happening before moving here. That, and the other adjustments of moving to a new country, such as the differences in food, costs of goods and services, customer service, and overall different societal and government structure really started to get to me. Fortunately, I have a very understanding wife... and I found an american expat forum where people were free to share their joys and frustrations with other Americans who understood what each other were going through. Now, after almost two years, most of those original difficulties never even enter my mind.

They have British expat forums as well, it might help to share thoughts and feelings with others who are experiencing the same difficulties and adjustments that you are. Good luck and God bless.

Edited July 18, 2013 by Ozz777

[bigdog 376]

You made it this far hang in there.

[chrismanilyn 4]

I lived in the south and moved to Michigan when I was a young teen. The teasing and mocking of my southern accent was so bad i learned how to drop it within months. Now, I can talk with an accent on demand. I had a choice and I decided to "fit in". :-)

[Darnell 8,478]

find an elocutionist that caters to actors and learn a new accent.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

find an elocutionist that caters to actors and learn a new accent.

Oh please, that's not going to make her feel better!

[Darnell 8,478]

no, but she won't have problems in the future with possible clients for her husband's company.

No futher problems due to accent? Her struggling disappears, and that withdrawal disappears also.

It's quite possible you were thinking I was making a joke or poking a jibe.

I assure you, I am dead serious about this.

Edited July 19, 2013 by Darnell

[yorubaqueen13 28]

My fiancee from Nigeria speaks Brittish English!! I must say I love love love the accent!!! Its gorgeous.... Dont retreat now! U have come so far!! Serious humor here but mite i suggest goin to eat in a chinese buffet for dinner & sit and observe how they carry themselves.... Y? Bcuz they mostly speak very very poor English & only communicate fully with other Chinese. But yet they smile & speak so friendly to patrons even tho its hard to understand, us Americans have learned to appreciate it! Now instead of scrutiny they have risen above that without changing a thing about themselves & walk with pride in almost every community in the US! They brought great food n won us over... Lol give that community the best u got & they will surely come around... As for ur husband, hes adjusting also.. Patience is a virtue and marriage is a 2 way street! Hes the only one u shuld worry about in terms of communicating fully with... Others will enjoy ur cultural diversities if u show them the good of it... God blessed u thus far & he will continue blessing u... Welcome to the Land of the Free, brave & crazy!!! Lol

[Jawaree 717]

God I LOVE that British accent. shoot I could talk to them all day.

I am told I have a knack for picking up accents, but that British one

no siree....maybe if I go spend some time there, Its so proper,crisp &

no-nonsense....funny thing is I hardly watch a movie with all or most

Brits cant understand a damn thing....They'll get use to you in the south

they very laid back & easy to get along with, if U R in an area where not

many travel out...yep U seem strange

Americans travel a lot now (some) but there's many who have never travelled

outside the country or they home-town,. Most will ask me what parts in Louisiana

am from....no no no Jamaica , ...well U don't sound like no Jamaican I know

they say...but hey its a whole lots of accents there/here

[Darnell 8,478]

Oh ! Must to learn more Chinese? I agree !

Just not useful for that small town she's in, at the moment.

[Harsh_77 718]

Hi guys,

I am lucky enough to have had a job open to me as soon as I arrived as my husband owns his business.

My problem is I have turned into a nervous wreck whilst I'm there, mainly due to the fact I hate when I am faced with the blank stare after Ive spoken and people haven't understood me. I live in a small, very southern town and some of the locals really seem a bit scared of me (and I of them!!!) There's been a few times Ive answered the phone and had it put down on me,I'm presuming they hear my English accent and think they have the wrong number. I hate to think Im losing my husband new patients and freaking people out. There's a Hispanic community here too, we then have an even more uncomfortable mixture of people not understanding each other.

I have now withdrawn and am tending to only go into the office when I know other people won't be there......weekends and the day off midweek that we have.

It's awful not feeling comfortable in the environment that I live in, my husband has been amazing but I know he's getting frustrated with me.

I feel a total failure right now. Did anyone else have trouble settling in?

I would say don't worry... I would say keep talking you will pick up American English, without talking to ppl it would be difficult for you to pick up American accent.

I have lived in south for 15 years and infact ppl in south are more friendly and would smile and chat about how things are going and is its a small town than even more.

Edited July 19, 2013 by Harsh_77

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Thank you for the replies guys......maybe I'm being too over sensitive.

I guess it is just as interesting for the locals to hear an English accent as it is for me to hear a Southern one. Many of the folk around here have never even left the county we're in let alone the USA, I just thought we'd all understand each other alot better.

Its just that awkwardness I feel when I see in their face they haven't understood a word of what Ive said.

I too am from Yorkshire, but the town I come from has a dialect all of it's own. (Hull........or 'ULL' as we say!!!)

I'm maybe going to have to pronunciate more.

I do answer the phone using the name of the business, but after I've introduced myself and said "Can I help you?" the caller has often gone!!!!!

I guess its going to be about me feeling uncomfortable for a while.

I have thought about taking in a small map of the UK to show there are more cities etc than London......usually when folk ask I say I live 260 miles from London.

I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb right now and I don't enjoy that........LOVE being with my husband though and so far nobody has been rude, just a bit confused by me!!!!

If you were a real Houstonian, you would say Uston, and not Houston; as well, Umble and not Humble. My neighbors and Texan friends find my wife exotic with her "Russian" accent....she is from Poland....and not from around the Russian border.

Don't worry, they will get used to, you will get used to. For weeks, my wife could not get the "Y'all, git ir done" and highly confused with 'fixing to eat', fixing to go', 'it's fixing to rain'...What needs to be fixed? She would ask...

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

no, but she won't have problems in the future with possible clients for her husband's company.

No futher problems due to accent? Her struggling disappears, and that withdrawal disappears also.

It's quite possible you were thinking I was making a joke or poking a jibe.

I assure you, I am dead serious about this.

She doesn't need elocution lessons :S

You say her problems would disappear, but she would gain new problems and feel bad that she had to change her speech! Ridiculous! She speaks native English, no need to fake an accent.

[jenyadenise 4]

Hi guys,

I am lucky enough to have had a job open to me as soon as I arrived as my husband owns his business.

My problem is I have turned into a nervous wreck whilst I'm there, mainly due to the fact I hate when I am faced with the blank stare after Ive spoken and people haven't understood me. I live in a small, very southern town and some of the locals really seem a bit scared of me (and I of them!!!) There's been a few times Ive answered the phone and had it put down on me,I'm presuming they hear my English accent and think they have the wrong number. I hate to think Im losing my husband new patients and freaking people out. There's a Hispanic community here too, we then have an even more uncomfortable mixture of people not understanding each other.

I have now withdrawn and am tending to only go into the office when I know other people won't be there......weekends and the day off midweek that we have.

It's awful not feeling comfortable in the environment that I live in, my husband has been amazing but I know he's getting frustrated with me.

I feel a total failure right now. Did anyone else have trouble settling in?

Hi Lynndy!!

I hope all the supportive responses here have been encouraging! I think what you're experiencing is natural. It takes time to adjust. I'm originally from the Midwest in the US but lived in the UK for 6 years - in the West Midlands - Birmingham to be exact! My American accent got noticed all the time and there were some locals there who couldn't understand me. Although I didn't adopt a British accent, I did end up changing some vocabulary and how I pronounced a few words. It really helped me fit in and feel more comfortable. I hope things get better for you soon!!

[Darnell 8,478]

She doesn't need elocution lessons :S

You say her problems would disappear, but she would gain new problems and feel bad that she had to change her speech! Ridiculous! She speaks native English, no need to fake an accent.

Ridiculous?

Not ridiculous at all, as (from her own words) her husband's business is losing business because of her accent.

She's feeling bad about the loss of business, (from her own words).

Change the accent, the world round her rebalances.