What problems have I caused myself?

[RosaMystica7 0]

As far as the sickness thing... to be honest, the way you worded it sounded like you found out that she has a STD or something and you dumped her because of that. In my opinion, mental illness, depending on the illness, can be another ballgame... if it's one that can put your childrens safety at risk, I understand, and I would imagine that would've been a difficult decision for you to make.

Anywho. I don't really think it's our place to judge why the poster dumped his ex-fiancee and his character because of that decision.

Sooooo, about whether or not that petition will screw things up for your next petition whenever the time comes for it... like fwaguy said, you'll need an IMBRA waiver after the second petition. So if you file for the new lady, make sure that you really want to bring her here. The visa process is too expensive and stressful to have to deal with a 3rd time anyway. Learn from this experience, take your time and get to know the new lady for who she really is, and DON'T RUSH IT .

[aussiewench 9]

Did she get her visa and come to the USA?

I have broken things off with my fiancée because of something that became known thought the medical testing during the K1 process that I didn’t know before I started. I allowed the visa to be processed because I do care for this person even though I choose not to marry her because of this. I thought that if I canceled the petition It would have left her in a bad spot with the embassy (Manila) and she would have even a harder time getting approved if she finds another or even attracting another if they knew what they were up against to get her. Believe me It wasnt good!! Anyway when I found out about the problem it caused me to have to fly to Manila three times this year to deal with it. I jumped through all the embassy hoops to clear her name so she would be ok in the embassy eyes. It was difficult but she was cleared and approved but by getting her approved I never thought about the problems it could cause me.

Since then I have met another that I'm interested in so I’m wondering if I petition this person in the near future will this cause me a problem even though I never fulfilled the visa of my X-fiancée? This has all happened over the last year and I figure if things go well I will petition a K1 again next year.

No she never used the visa.

You are the very reason why we have IMBRA. This girl is not a commodity to be bartered and traded. EXPLAIN yourself SIR.

The OP does not HAVE to explain himself any further than he has chosen to do. How does what he has chosen to reveal indicate that this is the very reason we have IMBRA. He found out something after already being in a relationship with this girl for some time, that he felt was in best interests not to pursue further. He has also shown that he cares very deeply for this person, hence why he still wanted to make sure she would be ok. Not the sign of someone who is callous or wife shopping. Gawd blimey, just answer his immigration related question, and if you can't, leave it be.

Edited November 29, 2006 by aussiewench

[1HappyGuy 45]

Niceguy,

You made the right decision. Your children should come first. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision and you probably have done more than was necessary for her. This stuff happens, I know from personal experience. Some people can disguise their true self for a time but eventually who that person is will emerge.

You don't owe anyone an explanation because no one knows your particular situation. I have a friend that tried to stop his K-1 application. Even after his attorney wrote a letter to the CSC they went ahead and approved the application. No visa was issued and he's moving on to find someone else. So this happens and don't bother losing sleep over it.

You will probably be needing to file a waiver on the next one but who knows yet. If anything, I would say spend more time with any new lady and really get to know her. If you can spend a couple of weeks at her home that's a good start. You also need to communicate exceptionally well and find out about her motivation as well. The government tries to do a background check on their name, so maybe it would be a good idea to get to know her background too.

Good luck next time and try not to be discouraged. It took me three times but the third was the best.

[niceguy 0]

Thanks all for having some understanding and just to let you all know I didn't rush in to this ether. it was fairly long term adn i visited her quite a few times too. I just didn't notice the warning signs. Maybe they were a bit hidden with the language barrier and also I was blinded by love too. Long distance relationships are tough becasue its so hard to know everything about a person.

I just couldn't take the chance with my kids being involved though. My kids and I have had past dealings with mental issues too....My kids mother took off on us and it was because of mental issues. The issues with my x-fiancee are much more harmful then my X-wife's depression though.

So anyway it looks like I will be filing a waiver when and if the time comes.

Thanks all for your help.

[Ken_Maria 0]

Thanks all for having some understanding and just to let you all know I didn't rush in to this ether. it was fairly long term adn i visited her quite a few times too. I just didn't notice the warning signs. Maybe they were a bit hidden with the language barrier and also I was blinded by love too. Long distance relationships are tough becasue its so hard to know everything about a person.

I just couldn't take the chance with my kids being involved though. My kids and I have had past dealings with mental issues too....My kids mother took off on us and it was because of mental issues. The issues with my x-fiancee are much more harmful then my X-wife's depression though.

So anyway it looks like I will be filing a waiver when and if the time comes.

Thanks all for your help.

I wish I had to go through a medical with my first wife (American). She was bi-polar and OCD but refused medication or treatment. I took the kids and ran. Good luck with the next relationship. Payato

[Leafgal 3]

How very true, if you do marry someone from your own country no one cares if they have any problems. I wish you the best of luck in the future niceguy, no matter what it involves.

[aj1 1]

How very true, if you do marry someone from your own country no one cares if they have any problems. I wish you the best of luck in the future niceguy, no matter what it involves.

Niceguy I have 2 children of my own and i know i would do anything and everything to protect them from all things that would not be good for them in there lives. I am divorced and encountered problems from my kids' father so i know what you mean i would never allow anyone to put them through anything else. You know what is best for you and I am sure you thought about what is best for the kids as you explained. No one can judge you any different. I respect that you did all that you could to make sure she doesn't have any future problems with the Consulate. And it sounds like you loved her alot. So at least you can walk away knowing you did the right thing for you and your kids. I wish you all the best and i am sure your life will go in the direction that it is meant to go and you will find love again. Keep your head up. Everything will be ok. And may god bless you and take care of you and your children always.

AJ1

[Rob&Marife 0]

You people amaze me!!!

IMHO Niceguy did the right thing for her, his kids, and himself… you guys need to get off his butt. To say he is an example why IMBRA was enacted is horse dung! He is actually responsible enough to realize that he made a mistake and to avoid any further heartache for everyone involved and was brave enough to call it off. I guess all of you that are criticizing him would have rather seen him marry her and ruin everyone’s life that is involved in the situation. I also think some of you have overlooked the fact that she never disclosed the “mental disorder” to her fiancée… and isn’t one of the most important parts of a relationship/marriage, is honesty?

Oh and nicely put aussiewench.

[Queen Jenn 0]

No need to explain anything to anyone. If you are not comfortable with this or her, you are making the right decision. Your children come first. Period!

Amen to that!! If you don't feel that it is right to marry her, you shouldn't be expected to just because you started the process.

But it looks like you will need a waiver . .

[reach449 2]

I have broken things off with my fiancée because of something that became known thought the medical testing during the K1 process that I didn't know before I started. I allowed the visa to be processed because I do care for this person even though I choose not to marry her because of this. I thought that if I canceled the petition It would have left her in a bad spot with the embassy (Manila) and she would have even a harder time getting approved if she finds another or even attracting another if they knew what they were up against to get her. Believe me It wasnt good!! Anyway when I found out about the problem it caused me to have to fly to Manila three times this year to deal with it. I jumped through all the embassy hoops to clear her name so she would be ok in the embassy eyes. It was difficult but she was cleared and approved but by getting her approved I never thought about the problems it could cause me.

Since then I have met another that I'm interested in so I'm wondering if I petition this person in the near future will this cause me a problem even though I never fulfilled the visa of my X-fiancée? This has all happened over the last year and I figure if things go well I will petition a K1 again next year.

Niceguy,

You are right; we don't know your whole story.And I agree you shouldn't be judged, like so many are here. You have taken the time to write a lot on this BB and you seem sincere to me. I thought VJ was a place you could go to get help and not be judged. Maybe I am wrong. No-one here really knows what you have been going through and they shouldn't jump to conclusions like so many have.

What-ever happens, I hope it works out for you in the end. By the way, I applaud you for protecting your children.

Reach449

Reach449

[David-and-Mae 15]

I have broken things off with my fiancée because of something that became known thought the medical testing during the K1 process that I didn’t know before I started. I allowed the visa to be processed because I do care for this person even though I choose not to marry her because of this. I thought that if I canceled the petition It would have left her in a bad spot with the embassy (Manila) and she would have even a harder time getting approved if she finds another or even attracting another if they knew what they were up against to get her. Believe me It wasnt good!! Anyway when I found out about the problem it caused me to have to fly to Manila three times this year to deal with it. I jumped through all the embassy hoops to clear her name so she would be ok in the embassy eyes. It was difficult but she was cleared and approved but by getting her approved I never thought about the problems it could cause me.

Since then I have met another that I'm interested in so I’m wondering if I petition this person in the near future will this cause me a problem even though I never fulfilled the visa of my X-fiancée? This has all happened over the last year and I figure if things go well I will petition a K1 again next year.

I just noticed something... Is this problem has any relation to this other thread you started?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...15&start=15

Just wondering...

[patiently_waiting 0]

Wow! don't know what to say. I know how the OP sounds, but we don't know all the facts here.

[CountryBoy 0]

I would call USCIS and choose the option where you have not yet filed a petition .. good luck

[bostonparis 0]

Check the date on this, everyone - it's from November. In a post from yesterday , niceguy says he's married. So he must have met someone new and fallen in love again.

[Melyssa 0]

Check the date on this, everyone - it's from November. In a post from yesterday , niceguy says he's married. So he must have met someone new and fallen in love again.

I'm confused. :\

***

I'm curious how they discover a mental problem and what constitutes it now though.

And like some people said, they don't care if you marry someone from your own country and they have a mental problem. Maybe the poor girl didn't even know she had what would be considered a mental problem by the Embassy doctor.

And at the same time they don't care if the USC has anything wrong with them either - just the foreigner. This whole process seems so one sided to me. I'm not bashing the program, I think it does make sense especially in a day when so many people just aren't honest with each other, but I just think it's one sided.