The SteveAndTiff Identity

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I thought Steve had said he was Chinese.

[Caryh 5,206]

I despise maggots. I very likely would have reacted like your wife, only yelling, OMFG get the maggots out of here, that's so gross. UGH!!! And stood on the other side of the kitchen. Kinda like when I see a big spider. (hubs is all... I like tarantulas.... not in my life will one ever be in my home... EVER!!! I'll have a snake first. )

I remember the first time I saw a cockroach... pretty much the same reaction...

LOL My wife is the spider killer for me, those things really give me the creeps when they're inside. Outside I find them cool, but they don't belong climbing around inside my house!

She actually didn't know what a maggot is. Which totally surprised me. I explained the entire egg, to pupa, to fly cycle. And told her the thing I had in my leg, looked just like that when alive. Yes I got a screw worm maggot in my leg when I was in her country one time. I'm just glad it was only one and not the 100's that usually happen. I even remember the swishing away the fly that landed on an open wound on my leg. It wasn't there but a second, but apparently managed to leave one egg behind.

I thought Steve had said he was Chinese.

Ethnicity and culture are two different things though.

[SAT 9,609]

You forget the power of age. When I was in my late teens I dated several men in their 30s and older. They seemed invincible to me at the time. I think Tiff has bought into the dream. Maybe some time apart would be good for the both of you, and your daughter.

You're not far off frenchy. If that's what it comes down to.....

Strange thing is....we've now known eachother for more than a decade, and it was never like this.....

I thought Steve had said he was Chinese.

I am Chinese harpa, but the professor is right on. Our cultures are far apart.....

[Caryh 5,206]

In regards to gratitude, when people are used to having everything they want, it's hard for them to be thankful.

I'm thinking this is an issue with the spoiled SIL. She's been spoiled with everything and thinks she's a princess and deserves everyone handing her things, because, well because she's a princess and wants it.

[SAT 9,609]

But Filipinas are experts at rotten things.....just look at a balut. And what's that wood worm that they eat?

[SAT 9,609]

Nik that's all I do is plan for their future......she doesn't understand it.

I'm thinking this is an issue with the spoiled SIL. She's been spoiled with everything and thinks she's a princess and deserves everyone handing her things, because, well because she's a princess and wants it.

That too!

[SAT 9,609]

I just want tiff to understand that she has her own family now. And that her sisters, brother, and her nephew comes second to that.

Look, I just saw the skipper. He's about as stubborn as a mule.....

Edited July 29, 2013 by SteveAndTiff

[Caryh 5,206]

You're not far off frenchy. If that's what it comes down to.....

Strange thing is....we've now known eachother for more than a decade, and it was never like this.....

I am Chinese harpa, but the professor is right on. Our cultures are far apart.....

I spent a lot of time with my wife and her family in her country. This helped me to at least understand where some things come from. It doesn't make me agree with everything, but it does make me understand where some ideas she has come from.

The one thing I find weird about Filipino culture though, is the spouse is never family as much as their birth family is. I'm assuming Malaysian culture is much the same in this regard. You can't come between your spouse and her family. She can make that choice, but it has to be her idea, and you can't try to push her towards it. If you try pushing in the least, she'll fall back on the family she was born with. But let them attack you, and she'll side with you every time. Its totally bipolar, but it is what it is. That's why I mentioned giving the SIL enough rope to hang herself with.

[SAT 9,609]

I spent a lot of time with my wife and her family in her country. This helped me to at least understand where some things come from. It doesn't make me agree with everything, but it does make me understand where some ideas she has come from.

The one thing I find weird about Filipino culture though, is the spouse is never family as much as their birth family is. I'm assuming Malaysian culture is much the same in this regard. You can't come between your spouse and her family. She can make that choice, but it has to be her idea, and you can't try to push her towards it. If you try pushing in the least, she'll fall back on the family she was born with. But let them attack you, and she'll side with you every time. Its totally bipolar, but it is what it is. That's why I mentioned giving the SIL enough rope to hang herself with.

This may have some merit.......

[Jacque67 7,328]

You're not far off frenchy. If that's what it comes down to.....

Strange thing is....we've now known eachother for more than a decade, and it was never like this.....

I am Chinese harpa, but the professor is right on. Our cultures are far apart.....

Things change when you marry and have kids. This is when cultural differences begin to take their wear and tear. You were her prince when you got married but now that you have a child the differences in culture are becoming accentuated. Try taking a break, get some outside counseling, and try to make the relationship work, if that is what you want. Remember, as the older partner you had more foresight into the marriage than her.

[Jacque67 7,328]

CaryH- you are a dude!

[Caryh 5,206]

But Filipinas are experts at rotten things.....just look at a balut. And what's that wood worm that they eat?

Balut isn't rotten, it was just kept alive too long in the egg. Wait they got balut from the Chinese!

She's never seen the mangrove root worm being eaten. Freaked her out when I told her about it.

They'll preserve darn near anything in salt, vinegar or sugar, minnows are dried and salted then ate. Other minnows are soaked in vinegar and lemon juice then ate. Pork is soaked in brown sugar to preserve it.

[SAT 9,609]

CaryH- you are a dude!

Frenchy that's an awesome observation lol

[SAT 9,609]

Things change when you marry and have kids. This is when cultural differences begin to take their wear and tear. You were her prince when you got married but now that you have a child the differences in culture are becoming accentuated. Try taking a break, get some outside counseling, and try to make the relationship work, if that is what you want. Remember, as the older partner you had more foresight into the marriage than her.

I do want it to work. We went thru a lot in 12 years....

[Caryh 5,206]

CaryH- you are a dude!

Thanks