The SteveAndTiff Identity

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Steve, start the eviction process. Give the older sis deadline to move out of your house.

Otherwise, they should start paying rent.

Stop being the carrot head la.

[SAT 9,609]

Yep, then let Tiff send a few gifts to the sister and watch the sister be ungrateful.

I'm not sure why the one sister lives in your basement. What's the back story on that? Is she legal?

Back story.....older sis came with tiff in 2001 on a B1. Travelled back after tiff met me. Then comes to the USA on and off. Meets a loser (I guess she was feeling lonely). Loser has no green card. Is 11 years her senior, and now complains that he can't work hard jobs......

I don't dislike the guy. But I've no respect for him. Granted I know my road to where I am, so I'm highly opinionated of others. I know that.....that's my flaw. I'm highly educated, but yet I'm a firm believer that a man MUST be good with his hands.....I can build a house from the ground up, rebuild a Chevy 350, and build a birdhouse with my daughter...

So when he told my father in law that he was a furniture maker in Malaysia, and I saw him try to use a ratchet......

He talked a good line of jive. My wife's sis, a young innocent girl, marries a guy that has absolutely nothing to put on the table......

Their kid was supposed to live with his parents in Malaysia. My FIL told me that he really doesn't want to take care of this kid......

[Jacque67 7,328]

Frenchy you had to follow the long story from the beginning of the year. Her family is not poor. Her parents are good and not looking for anything.

Her older sis and her hubby are losers. And have a savage 5 year old that can do no wrong (he's in Malaysia)

Her younger sis want to live like the queen of England.

Her younger bro doesn't think he should have to toil

Her other younger sis is the one with a good brain, and is struggling.

No, I wasn't suggesting her family were bad. I just wonder whether they live in a metropolis or not. People from small towns are usually more conservative - I have personal experience of this, believe me.

[Caryh 5,206]

OMG Steve, you have got yourself into a real pickle. How long have you guys been married? Do you have any relatives that you could insist be prioritized above her family? Does she come from a small village? Often people who do, no what country, a stubborn and less open to change. Didn't you lay any ground rules before you had a child? seems like you need a serious talk- maybe some counseling. Good luck!

Yep I've seen this situation many times in Fil/Am marriages. The smart guys realize it from the first and discuss how they will handle it before they get married. When they set up the situation like Steve has, of him paying for everything and she can do what she wants with the money she makes, its not uncommon to see most of it going to family back home. The guilt trips I've heard some families play really astounds me at times.

[SAT 9,609]

Steve, start the eviction process. Give the older sis deadline to move out of your house.

Otherwise, they should start paying rent.

Stop being the carrot head la.

Merry, I really don't mind......

What I do mind, is tiff calling me selfish. And there's no gratitude for all that I've done.....

[SAT 9,609]

No, I wasn't suggesting her family were bad. I just wonder whether they live in a metropolis or not. People from small towns are usually more conservative - I have personal experience of this, believe me.

Frenchy that's why you had to follow the story from the get go lol.

She lived in the country- village till a few months before she came. The family has a flat in KL now as well as a nice house back in the village.

[Jacque67 7,328]

So basically her family still have old fashioned ideas. She was born in the country. You need to try and educate her to Western ways. She must prefer Ny to KL?

[Jacque67 7,328]

Merry, I really don't mind......

What I do mind, is tiff calling me selfish. And there's no gratitude for all that I've done.....

I am sure she is grateful in her own way. She probably said it in the heat of the moment. Is your star sign Cancer or Scorpio btw? Lol!

[Jacque67 7,328]

Yep I've seen this situation many times in Fil/Am marriages. The smart guys realize it from the first and discuss how they will handle it before they get married. When they set up the situation like Steve has, of him paying for everything and she can do what she wants with the money she makes, its not uncommon to see most of it going to family back home. The guilt trips I've heard some families play really astounds me at times.

Many Japanese farmers marry Fil women, because Most Japanese women don't want to marry a farmer. The farmer's wider family becomes distraught when the Fil wife sends all of their money to their Fil family instead of saving for the couple's future.

[SAT 9,609]

In 2007, I was invited by tiffs father to the older sis wedding here. I didn't go, because I was on and off with tiff. And felt embarrassed. I don't want the guy to think I was just using his daughter.

I didn't know it then, but my father in law wasn't crazy about that marriage. I found that out during this trip to Asia. And my FIL was looking for advice from me. He didn't want to put me on the spot.

My sis in law is now 32, her husband 43. He has nothing to offer her. hes not particularly brilliant, or handsome, or funny.....He has nothing to his name.....no money, no insurance, no property, no anything.....

If you guys saw pics of my SIL, she's a nice looking girl. All I know is, when I was in Malaysia, many family members asked me what she's doing married to him......

I think he just met her at the right time, and he talked a good line of jive.....

Btw, to you younger ones reading this. Don't find yourself at 40 and have absolutely nothing........

[Caryh 5,206]

Back story.....older sis came with tiff in 2001 on a B1. Travelled back after tiff met me. Then comes to the USA on and off. Meets a loser (I guess she was feeling lonely). Loser has no green card. Is 11 years her senior, and now complains that he can't work hard jobs......

I don't dislike the guy. But I've no respect for him. Granted I know my road to where I am, so I'm highly opinionated of others. I know that.....that's my flaw. I'm highly educated, but yet I'm a firm believer that a man MUST be good with his hands.....I can build a house from the ground up, rebuild a Chevy 350, and build a birdhouse with my daughter...

So when he told my father in law that he was a furniture maker in Malaysia, and I saw him try to use a ratchet......

He talked a good line of jive. My wife's sis, a young innocent girl, marries a guy that has absolutely nothing to put on the table......

Their kid was supposed to live with his parents in Malaysia. My FIL told me that he really doesn't want to take care of this kid......

So this is the sister who wants you to take her bratty child into your home. Just visiting now, or squatting to stay this time? Didn't you boot them out before?

[SAT 9,609]

So basically her family still have old fashioned ideas. She was born in the country. You need to try and educate her to Western ways. She must prefer Ny to KL?

That's why once she met me, she wasn't going back. And that's how my in laws ended up here. To get her to go back.....in doing so, they incurred an overstay.....

I am sure she is grateful in her own way. She probably said it in the heat of the moment. Is your star sign Cancer or Scorpio btw? Lol!

No

So this is the sister who wants you to take her bratty child into your home. Just visiting now, or squatting to stay this time? Didn't you boot them out before?

Squatting, and no...

Many Japanese farmers marry Fil women, because Most Japanese women don't want to marry a farmer. The farmer's wider family becomes distraught when the Fil wife sends all of their money to their Fil family instead of saving for the couple's future.

Ditto for china and Korea

[Novembro 1,763]

But we already went thru this before. Tiff is blind.

I pay for everything here. I mean everything.

Tiff goes to work, and saves nothing. Where does the money go?

Do you have a joint bank account? Can't you see where it goes?

[SAT 9,609]

One joint account. Not much in it.

Oh I know where her money goes, I was just saying.....

Presents for her family, her friends kids, her friends......

Remember I finagled 2 ladyM cakes a few days ago? One and a half cakes went to her work place......

I don't even mind. But be effing grateful.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Not old fashioned ideas. More like leech mentality, sponge off other people's hard work.

Where to draw the line, enough is enough?

And are you petitioning for more of Tiff's family members to come over to US?