No DOMA = too many confusing options. Please help steer!

[rina120 3]

Hello.

DOMA IS DEAD! YAY!

I saw no section for general questions, so I posted in this forum because DCF is what I hope I can get.

But now I have no idea where to start. It's all so complicated. Please bear with me. I appreciate any advice or suggestions, etc that you may be able to provide.

We are a same sex couple. I am a USC. My wife is Irish. We currently reside in Ireland. I made the choice between love or country. We are not married in Ireland. We have a Civil Union. We were planning on getting married in Canada at the end of august and then having a DCF for the green card. Except Ireland doesnt have a USCIS counter and that is not an option..unless an exception is granted. I have had such difficulty in Ireland finding a job, and honestly, after three years, its affecting my psyche. I am desperate to go back home. Does anyone know how long the lock box applications take? I've seen some up to a year!

One more thing to consider is that I do not think I am able to stay in Ireland for another year. And my wife and I have decided that I will move home without her (And she eventually follows) before I stay another year.

So in my mind here are my options:

1. Get married in Canada. Write immigration for an exception to the rule under the basis that it was not an option until recently when DOMA was overturned, I chose love over country, living in exile for 3 years, negatively effected my career, finances, mental wellness blah blah blah. Hopefully, you know where I am going with this. BUT...do you think it will work???
2. Get married in Canada. Mail application from Ireland to the lock box. But how long will this take? Will I have to stay in Ireland until it's granted? Is visiting the US while the application is processing going to be relatively easy once proof of ties to Ireland is shown? (house mortgage, rental lease, job, etc)?
3. Get married in Canada. Go back to the States. apply for green card for her while I am home.
4. DO NOT get married in Canada. Go Back to the states. Apply for Fiance visa. Go that route.

Any suggestions as to which route to go that will be quickest? Any other route that I dont know of?

We have no children, we have the finance limit, no trouble with the law. So I think it should be straightforward.

Thanks in advance!! I wish I was home having a 4th of July BBQ instead of freaking out over visa issues

Edited July 4, 2013 by rina120

[lost_at_sea 995]

Yay. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials.

It sounds like you already know what options are open to you. Have you seen this page that lists pros and cons of each? It might help you to decide: http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare

The 1 year you've read about is a fair estimate to work by, but many people are complete in less time. It's just a good rule of thumb so you're mentally prepared for the wait.

The I-129f for K1 has traditionally been faster to attain, but these days the gap has closed somewhat with the I-130 for CR-1 - the time saving has been a reason folks have opted for the K1 over the CR-1 path.

The main benefit of CR-1 over K1 is that you don't have to do the AoS (which is more money, time and paperwork), the beneficiary gets a green card right away so they can work and travel immediately. Another benefit is you can marry where you like, whereas with the K1 you have to get married in the US.

If Ireland is no longer doing DCF, then I think it unlikely they'll grant an exception. You should contact them to find out what grounds they look for to fulfil exception criteria, as if available, DCF is faster.

As for the DOMA aspect- I think you're asking whether getting married in Canada has an effect? It shouldn't. You're now able to apply for a green card for you spouse so long as you were married in any country (or US State) that legally recognised the marriage. So, getting married in Canada would be fine.

You don't have to be living inside the US to file the petitions (the I-130 you can file as soon as you're married). You would need to move back before or with your fiance/wife when they're ready to go, though.

Edited July 4, 2013 by lost_at_sea

[QueenOfBlades 224]

I can't offer much advice as I'm not sure about DCF - But I just want to say, congratulations and good luck with your future marriage and your futures together in the US. I'm very happy that part of DOMA has been struck down and am crossing my fingers that they also abolish Section 2 of DOMA (and the rest of it hopefully) that says that States can determine what "marriage is", so same-sex couples from every State can get married and be treated equally.

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from DCF Discussion to General Immigration-Related Discussion; DCF is not an option for the OP and the OP is exploring different paths that are available.

[rina120 3]

Thank you both for the congrats and the well wishes! Its nice! I wish the whole DOMA thing was struck down, but I will settle for this at the moment because THIS is the part that's been negatively effecting us. Step by step I suppose!

We're only getting "married" in Canada because the officiant can arrange everything over skype, and I have a free place to stay. To us, we were "married" a year ago when we had the reception,cut the cake, and went on the honeymoon, etc. This is for legal purposes only, so we are not picky about where it is. Just want it to be easy! (as a side note, we cannot get married anywhere in Europe because they recognize our civil union as legally binding and therefore we are not free to marry. Funny how its interpreted differently)

I did read that comparison chart of the visas before I posted.

sigh.

So if I read correctly, the time for getting a K-1 isnt alllll that shorter any more than going straight for the CR-1? And some people are reporting shorter timeframes?

Ok. This is good to know!

[rina120 3]

Moved from DCF Discussion to General Immigration-Related Discussion; DCF is not an option for the OP and the OP is exploring different paths that are available.

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with this but you are the moderator. Can you reconsider

A) the general forum you moved me to is for people who arent going to sponsor a spouse. I am sponsoring a spouse. I didnt even click that because I want information from people who are looking for SPOUSAL sponsorship..not sibling visas. And I am a US citizen, not a visa holder...At least put me in the other Spousal areas?

b) According to the Dublin Embassy, I CAN write for an exception. So I do not believe this is not an option and was hoping to hear from people who got exceptions. The OP is exploring ALL OPTIONs. including DCF

Edited July 4, 2013 by rina120

[lost_at_sea 995]

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with this but you are the moderator. Can you reconsider

A) the general forum you moved me to is for people who arent going to sponsor a spouse. I am sponsoring a spouse. I didnt even click that because I want information from people who are looking for SPOUSAL sponsorship..not sibling visas. And I am a US citizen, not a visa holder...At least put me in the other Spousal areas?

b) According to the Dublin Embassy, I CAN write for an exception. So I do not believe this is not an option and was hoping to hear from people who got exceptions. The OP is exploring ALL OPTIONs. including DCF

A) I think it got moved because you were asking about *which* option you should take, including the K1 which is a visa for fiances not spouses. This section of the forum tends to be used for people deciding which visa journey they should take and looking for help deciding. But I'm not a moderator...

Anyhooo...

B) Yeah. I knew you could write and ask for an exception. I meant you should write/call/email and find out what exceptions they will take, as pretty much no one has been able to do DCF anymore in Ireland since they stopped generally accepting them. Good to know if they'll definitely accept it and have that as an option, than put your eggs in that basket and find they won't allow it.

If they will allow you 100% go for DCF, it's by far the easiest, cheapest and fastest option.

Edited July 4, 2013 by lost_at_sea

[lost_at_sea 995]

So if I read correctly, the time for getting a K-1 isnt alllll that shorter any more than going straight for the CR-1? And some people are reporting shorter timeframes?

Ok. This is good to know!

Yep, that's right. You probably want to make your call based on whether you want to do the AoS after the fact or not (since that's another expense and blocker to work/travel).

[The Mean Lady 604]

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with this but you are the moderator. Can you reconsider

A) the general forum you moved me to is for people who arent going to sponsor a spouse. I am sponsoring a spouse. I didnt even click that because I want information from people who are looking for SPOUSAL sponsorship..not sibling visas. And I am a US citizen, not a visa holder...At least put me in the other Spousal areas?

b) According to the Dublin Embassy, I CAN write for an exception. So I do not believe this is not an option and was hoping to hear from people who got exceptions. The OP is exploring ALL OPTIONs. including DCF

Your first post clearly said "I saw no section for general questions, so I posted in this forum because DCF is what I hope I can get. "

This is the general questions section.

[QueenOfBlades 224]

Thank you both for the congrats and the well wishes! Its nice! I wish the whole DOMA thing was struck down, but I will settle for this at the moment because THIS is the part that's been negatively effecting us. Step by step I suppose!

We're only getting "married" in Canada because the officiant can arrange everything over skype, and I have a free place to stay. To us, we were "married" a year ago when we had the reception,cut the cake, and went on the honeymoon, etc. This is for legal purposes only, so we are not picky about where it is. Just want it to be easy! (as a side note, we cannot get married anywhere in Europe because they recognize our civil union as legally binding and therefore we are not free to marry. Funny how its interpreted differently)

I did read that comparison chart of the visas before I posted.

sigh.

So if I read correctly, the time for getting a K-1 isnt alllll that shorter any more than going straight for the CR-1? And some people are reporting shorter timeframes?

Ok. This is good to know!

Definitely, I'm ecstatic at the progress made with DOMA and Prop 8. It's only a matter of time now before there is full equality for LGBT people. I'm bisexual myself and have been involved in LGBT activism since I was 13 so I'm very relieved that steps are being made forward for equality. I know that Section 3 of DOMA was the main part keeping same-sex couples apart for ridiculous amounts of time and the tales you read about are just so sad and tragic sometimes. It's fantastic that you and your wife can now start a new life in the USA. Really happy for you .

Also, that is debateable with K1 vs CR-1. In my opinion, the K1 is still quicker. I've seen about people waiting easily over a year for CR-1 NOA2 and overall I still believe it takes longer. Only, with a K-1, you have to do AOS so it'll take longer to get permanent residency and it is more expensive. Only thing is with a K-1, you have to not be legally married and it can cause issues even if you've had a civil union if USCIS deems you not free to marry, therefore not eligible for K-1. Your best option may be to opt for the CR-1 given your circumstances, especially if you're already living together, though I'd definitely see if it's possible to do DCF.

Edited July 4, 2013 by QueenOfBlades

[lost_at_sea 995]

Also, that is debateable with K1 vs CR-1. In my opinion, the K1 is still quicker. I've seen about people waiting easily over a year for CR-1 NOA2 and overall I still believe it takes longer. Only, with a K-1, you have to do AOS so it'll take longer to get permanent residency and it is more expensive. Only thing is with a K-1, you have to not be legally married and it can cause issues even if you've had a civil union if USCIS deems you not free to marry, therefore not eligible for K-1. Your best option may be to opt for the CR-1 given your circumstances, especially if you're already living together, though I'd definitely see if it's possible to do DCF.

+1 I think this is good advice.

[rina120 3]

Definitely, I'm ecstatic at the progress made with DOMA and Prop 8. It's only a matter of time now before there is full equality for LGBT people. I'm bisexual myself and have been involved in LGBT activism since I was 13 so I'm very relieved that steps are being made forward for equality. I know that Section 3 of DOMA was the main part keeping same-sex couples apart for ridiculous amounts of time and the tales you read about are just so sad and tragic sometimes. It's fantastic that you and your wife can now start a new life in the USA. Really happy for you .

Also, that is debateable with K1 vs CR-1. In my opinion, the K1 is still quicker. I've seen about people waiting easily over a year for CR-1 NOA2 and overall I still believe it takes longer. Only, with a K-1, you have to do AOS so it'll take longer to get permanent residency and it is more expensive. Only thing is with a K-1, you have to not be legally married and it can cause issues even if you've had a civil union if USCIS deems you not free to marry, therefore not eligible for K-1. Your best option may be to opt for the CR-1 given your circumstances, especially if you're already living together, though I'd definitely see if it's possible to do DCF.

Hmm. Interesting point QueenofBlades! Thanks to you and Lost_at_sea for the advice. I'm pretty sure it's a high possibility if my past experiences ahve anything to do with it. I was stunned when Denmark wouldnt marry us because of the Civil Union.

If I pursue CR-1, I can still petition for an exception in Dublin. I looked on the USCIS site and it mentions what types they accept (medical emergency, threats of violence) but it also say that it will consider other exceptions. So I'm hoping for the other! Although hearing that no one has had Consulate Meeting in Ireland since the law changed does hurt.

I will talk with the other half this evening when she gets off work. Here is another question that perhaps someone can help with that will aid in our decision on which one to pursue.

If I start the process in Ireland, do I have to stay in Ireland until complete?

Or should I start the process in the States?

And have people had experiences where their spouses were denied entry into the US while the application is in process? (Provided the evidence of ties to Ireland is provided?)

Thanks again. It's very helpful. There is alot of information out there currently for the gays now that DOMA is overturned, but it is mostly geared towards US Citizens who chose to live in the US and be seperate from their partner.

[rina120 3]

A) I think it got moved because you were asking about *which* option you should take, including the K1 which is a visa for fiances not spouses. This section of the forum tends to be used for people deciding which visa journey they should take and looking for help deciding. But I'm not a moderator...

Yes I realize I flipped for a second and I apologize for that. You have to understand, my relationship has been "less than marriage" forever...until 6 days ago! Oh and did I mention that my psyche has taken a hit over this situation?

So I understand. Thank you for kindly explaining it to me.

[lost_at_sea 995]

If I start the process in Ireland, do I have to stay in Ireland until complete?

Or should I start the process in the States?

And have people had experiences where their spouses were denied entry into the US while the application is in process? (Provided the evidence of ties to Ireland is provided?)

No, you don't have to stay in Ireland until complete. In fact, most USC halves of the couple end up moving back to the US ahead of their spouse so that they can get a job and reestablish domicile so they can more easily meet the financial requirements. You may as well start everything while you're in Ireland, since that'll minimise the amount of time you may have to be apart.

Re: travel. MOST people travel in and out of the States with petitions pending with no trouble. Obviously, we can't give guarantees, but since Ireland can use the VWP it's not particularly high-fraud. When you wife comes to visit you, she should make sure she travels with a bit of info about her ties back home (job, home details etc.) and a return ticket. Most of the time, they just want to know when you're going home and that you've got evidence of that. It shouldn't be a problem. You've already got the right idea in that you knew she'd need evidence of ties in Ireland - if she's got that, she'll likely be a-ok.

They deny entry if they don't believe someone's story (and think they have intent to overstay their allotted amount of time, or go there for purposes their visa would not allow for), and if you've got evidence, that seems unlikely to happen. Having the application in progress shouldn't make the risk higher than visiting you without the petition pending (the guys on the gate don't even know about it, and if asked, her showing the pending petition would be good evidence that you're doing things the most legitimate way).

Yes I realize I flipped for a second and I apologize for that. You have to understand, my relationship has been "less than marriage" forever...until 6 days ago! Oh and did I mention that my psyche has taken a hit over this situation?

So I understand. Thank you for kindly explaining it to me.

It's all cool. Must be a relief to finally be able to get the immigration process going. So overdue!