How is your relationship different from "normal"?

[Protocol417 161]

You can tell it's a slow day at work today... this is the second thread I've started today, and I've only started three total

Anyways, this question is for those who are apart from their loved ones right now.

What ways have you found that your relationship differs from a "normal" couple who live in the same area as one another?

What ways have you found to work around the problem of distance?

My SO is six hours ahead of me and on a very strange work schedule right now. He finished work at 10am local time this morning, and had to be back by 10pm tonight. We usually Skype during my lunchbreak when he's on these weird hours, but 1:40, 2:15, 2:45, 3:30 (!) came around... and no Brit. Facebook hadn't registered that he'd seen any of my messages to him, and the last one to me was a little after midnight. It had been over 15 hours, and his shift started very soon! PANIC!

I tried calling his mobile, with no response. I was drafting a Facebook message, tagging all of the people I knew in England who have his phone number, trying to enlist their help, when he finally woke up and messaged me (big, deep sigh of relief!)

Once, he messaged me, just as he knew I must be arriving at the grocery store from work, to remind me to pick up super glue I almost felt like we were a "normal" couple that day.

We've watched TV shows "together" while on Skype, too (both of us have our computers hooked up to our TVs, so we put Netflix or whatever *cough* on the bigger screen and keep Skype on the computer screen).

What have you done to feel normal and make the relationship work?

[Neptune2011 1]

Hi there,

I am fairly new to this forum and finding it very comforting to see so many going through the same process and stresses....kinship in our suffering, I guess.

Long distance relationships will kill you...just kidding of course.

My fiance is in the Netherlands and he is also 6 hours ahead of me. We skype all the time...we sleep on skype together...even when our schedules don't match we set it for auto answer and sleep together...corny....We also watch movies on skype....we read together...the same book at the same time. We text pictures of our meals to each other and pictures of what we're doing...if out and about. It's far from normal but it's the best we can do right now. We have been fortunate enough to have 5 visits with each other since March 2012 but we haven't seen each other since this past March.....we were hoping we'd be further along in the process but we are stagnant at NOA1.

It sucks being so far apart. I love him and miss him so much. We are anxiously awaiting our NOA2...we received NOA1 on January 28th and then no word until 6/21, when our file was transfered to Texas....now no new word.

Anyway, I like your thread.

Take care and good luck

[Bugs 455]

Actually, there can be advantages to starting a relationship long distance, as strange at it may sound. For one, it forces you to communicate much more than a "normal" relationship would. There probably has been more talking and listening between my fiance and I in one year than many couples do in several years. We know all about and understand each each other in great detail as a result, and can virtually read each other's minds at this point lol.

Of course, the disadvantage is obvious, as we still are very much behind in the physical compatibility and understanding of each other than would be the case for "normal" couples who are at this stage of the relationship. But I'd rather be advanced in the above than this if I had to choose. As long as the love, compatibility, and care towards each other is there, the physical aspect will work out just fine.

[Neptune2011 1]

Actually, there can be advantages to starting a relationship long distance, as strange at it may sound. For one, it forces you to communicate much more than a "normal" relationship would. There probably has been more talking and listening between my fiance and I in one year than many couples do in several years. We know all about and understand each each other in great detail as a result, and can virtually read each other's minds at this point lol.

Of course, the disadvantage is obvious, as we still are very much behind in the physical compatibility and understanding of each other than would be the case for "normal" couples who are at this stage of the relationship. But I'd rather be advanced in the above than this if I had to choose. As long as the love, compatibility, and care towards each other is there, the physical aspect will work out just fine.

That is so true for us as well....we have such a great mental rapport with each other. We connect at every level...physical being the most lacking due to distance only.

You have a great point!

[Protocol417 161]

Hi there,

I am fairly new to this forum and finding it very comforting to see so many going through the same process and stresses....kinship in our suffering, I guess.

Long distance relationships will kill you...just kidding of course.

My fiance is in the Netherlands and he is also 6 hours ahead of me. We skype all the time...we sleep on skype together...even when our schedules don't match we set it for auto answer and sleep together...corny....We also watch movies on skype....we read together...the same book at the same time. We text pictures of our meals to each other and pictures of what we're doing...if out and about. It's far from normal but it's the best we can do right now. We have been fortunate enough to have 5 visits with each other since March 2012 but we haven't seen each other since this past March.....we were hoping we'd be further along in the process but we are stagnant at NOA1.

It sucks being so far apart. I love him and miss him so much. We are anxiously awaiting our NOA2...we received NOA1 on January 28th and then no word until 6/21, when our file was transfered to Texas....now no new word.

Anyway, I like your thread.

Take care and good luck

Unfortunately we had to wait quite a long time before we could even apply, as I had a divorce that took a very long time to wrap up. We only applied last April, which I have to keep reminding myself of because, well, not to put too fine of a point on it, but it feels like a lot longer than that.

And thank you I'm surprised there's not more of these.

Actually, there can be advantages to starting a relationship long distance, as strange at it may sound. For one, it forces you to communicate much more than a "normal" relationship would. There probably has been more talking and listening between my fiance and I in one year than many couples do in several years. We know all about and understand each each other in great detail as a result, and can virtually read each other's minds at this point lol.

Of course, the disadvantage is obvious, as we still are very much behind in the physical compatibility and understanding of each other than would be the case for "normal" couples who are at this stage of the relationship. But I'd rather be advanced in the above than this if I had to choose. As long as the love, compatibility, and care towards each other is there, the physical aspect will work out just fine.

Oh, I know. We're a very unusual couple, even aside from all the long-distance stuff, and I doubt it could've ever happened in any other circumstance. By starting, and then continuing, the relationship online it did truly create a more solid foundation, I think. You make very good points!

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I'd say the bondage, whips and chains.

[Calypso 464]

I'd say the bondage, whips and chains.

That's it? No ball gag and nipple clamps?

[spookyturtle 9,466]

That's it? No ball gag and nipple clamps?

I figure if I mentioned those along with the goats people might get the wrong idea about me.

[Calypso 464]

I figure if I mentioned those along with the goats people might get the wrong idea about me.

Yeah, together with the occasional sheep, chicken, and every animal mentioned in the nursery rhyme "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."

[TBoneTX 45,659]

I think that having very similar answers on this important psychological quiz will indicate how normal one's relationship will be. The most crucial questions are #31, #18 & #19, and #18 & 19.

-------------------------------

NO-NONSENSE PERSONALITY INVENTORY (NNPI)

For each item, respond: "L" (like me), "S" (somewhat like me) or "N" (not like me).

1. _____ I salivate at the sight of mittens
2. _____ At times, I am afraid that my toes will fall off
3. _____ As an infant, I had very few hobbies
4. _____ Some people look at me
5. _____ I often use the word "yucch"
6. _____ Spinach makes me feel alone
7. _____ Sometimes I steal objects like water towers and bridges
8. _____ Cousins are not to be trusted
9. _____ Other people's warts don't make me self-conscious
10. _____ Sometimes I think someone is trying to take over my stomach
11. _____ Often I think I am a special agent of Carl Rogers
12. _____ I become homicidal when people try to reason with me
13. _____ My teeth sometimes leave my body
14. _____ Plaid Stamps are better than Green Stamps
15. _____ Recently I have been getting shorter
16. _____ I think I would like the work of a hummingbird
17. _____ I have always been disturbed by the size of Lincoln's ears
18. _____ I often repeat myself
19. _____ I often repeat myself
20. _____ Most of the time I go to sleep without saying "Goodbye"
21. _____ It makes me angry to have people bury me
22. _____ Chiclets make me sweat
23. _____ I believe that I smell as good as most animals
24. _____ I like to stay in the bathtub so long that I look like a raisin
25. _____ Most people "urp" on me out of spite
26. _____ Constantly losing my underwear doesn't bother me
27. _____ It is hard for me to start a conversation in a room full of cockroaches
28. _____ I believe that halitosis is better than no breath at all
29. _____ Weeping brings tears to my eyes
30. _____ I believe in life after birth
31. _____ I enjoy putting my pet chameleon on plaid cloth
32. _____ Some songs make me "burp" and/or pass gas
33. _____ I often have erotic dreams about erotic dreams
34. _____ I never seem to finish anything I

[Stressed Out 81]

Well, I'm blessed enough to have obtained a residence permit for Germany a couple years ago, so I'm living abroad with my foreign spouse. But, I can say we also slept on Skype together like Neptune2011 says they do. I remember getting home from work and seeing I was too late to chat with him as he had already fallen asleep. I couldn't help but just stare at him and cry sometimes. Words can't express how happy I am that I can be with him now, and I know I'm pretty lucky for being able to.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

I think that having very similar answers on this important psychological quiz will indicate how normal one's relationship will be. The most crucial questions are #31, #18 & #19, and #18 & 19.

-------------------------------

Can you repeat that please?

[B & G 200]

Unfortunately we had to wait quite a long time before we could even apply, as I had a divorce that took a very long time to wrap up. We only applied last April, which I have to keep reminding myself of because, well, not to put too fine of a point on it, but it feels like a lot longer than that.

And thank you I'm surprised there's not more of these.

Oh, I know. We're a very unusual couple, even aside from all the long-distance stuff, and I doubt it could've ever happened in any other circumstance. By starting, and then continuing, the relationship online it did truly create a more solid foundation, I think. You make very good points!

We were in the same shoes as you! My husband's divorce took ages to get completed but not cuz of your usual delays. I'm taking about misplaced divorce case at the courthouse for 3 months, first court date was erased from the court's system because of his lawyer's assistance's mistake, had to wait a month and a half for a new date and when that date rolled around the damn courthouse shut down cuz of weather!!! His court date was rescheduled 3 weeks later and finally divorce approved!

I hope it isn't an example of how our filing for the CR1 is going to go!

As for our relationship, pretty much similar with all the other posters on here. Texting continously all day long, then on the phone when he is off work, Skype in the evenings and Sundays are always saved for the race. Hubby is a proud redneck which means of course he got me addicted to Nascar. I watch the race without fail! Even wake up at 3am in the morning when its an evening race!

[Protocol417 161]

Well, I'm blessed enough to have obtained a residence permit for Germany a couple years ago, so I'm living abroad with my foreign spouse. But, I can say we also slept on Skype together like Neptune2011 says they do. I remember getting home from work and seeing I was too late to chat with him as he had already fallen asleep. I couldn't help but just stare at him and cry sometimes. Words can't express how happy I am that I can be with him now, and I know I'm pretty lucky for being able to.

Yeah, I know the feeling. I once lost it because I was watching a BBC show and there was a very short scene filmed at a mall we both visited in Manchester (granted, I had just left, so that probably had something to do with it). I cried for like a half hour, and I've never been the sappy sort!

I didn't realize so many people put on Skype while they were sleeping! I can see how being able to see your SO when you wake up (or vice versa) would be very comforting.

We were in the same shoes as you! My husband's divorce took ages to get completed but not cuz of your usual delays. I'm taking about misplaced divorce case at the courthouse for 3 months, first court date was erased from the court's system because of his lawyer's assistance's mistake, had to wait a month and a half for a new date and when that date rolled around the damn courthouse shut down cuz of weather!!! His court date was rescheduled 3 weeks later and finally divorce approved!

I hope it isn't an example of how our filing for the CR1 is going to go!

As for our relationship, pretty much similar with all the other posters on here. Texting continously all day long, then on the phone when he is off work, Skype in the evenings and Sundays are always saved for the race. Hubby is a proud redneck which means of course he got me addicted to Nascar. I watch the race without fail! Even wake up at 3am in the morning when its an evening race!

My ex and I owned a house together that lost 1/3rd of the value during the crash. We wanted to get rid of or separate everything we co-owned before filing for the divorce to make it as easy as possible (my Brit and I met shortly after my ex and I separated; we got engaged while all this was going on), and it took nearly two years to fix/prep the house, find a buyer, and go through the short sale approval process with the bank... only to have everything fall through at the last minute, and then find out we could've gotten divorced whenever we wanted and just kept the house in both our names, easy peasy After that was finally over, I applied for my Social Security card in my maiden name, so I could use it on the I129F (should've only taken like two weeks), SS just stuck my file in a folder and left it there for two months! In all, we had to wait six months from when we got engaged to when we could actually apply, but this wait is soooo much worse, and it's only been 2 and a half months!

I grew up in the south... I'm so over NASCAR that I accidentally groaned when I found out my fiance likes Formula 1 I will say, he has gotten me a little smitten with soccer/football, though. I even wore a Bolton Wanderers scarf to a match when I was visiting last April, and pretended I was just being a dutiful fiancee but truthfully, I enjoyed the hell out of it

[TBoneTX 45,659]

Can you repeat that please?

Is there an echo in here, huh huh man man?