Fiance betrays me

[Caladan 19]

I think I would break up with someone over cheating. No, we're not married, just engaged, but I don't cheat on my boyfriends, either. And it's not as though he didn't know getting into this relationship that it was going to involve a lot of time apart.

But that's not the main reason. It's just that recovering from cheating takes time, patience, trust, and a lot of work. And I'm not sure it's doable long distance.

[Sinergy 3]

been thru this process as everyone else here, i know for a fact, jealousy has nothing to do with it. its not the other persons fault for not being there with their fiance to "fit" to their needs. and if you really love someone, you dont go searching for another persons comfort. if thats the case, what do you really need your fiance for? if you can easy search for comfort in another person while seperated then you will easily do it when your together as well. and anyone ok with their fiance or wife/husband cheating, is just not in a mature relationship to start with IMO.

Well you see I could just hop on a plane any time I wanted -- but many people can't.

Regardless of how much you think "you love" someone, the time apart can put a serious

strain on any relationship. Let's face it, a "fiancé(e)" is nothing but a glorified boyfriend

or girlfriend. None of that means anything until you sign those marriage papers.

and with that, i have to say i feel sorry for your wife especially since you concidered her "nothing" for so long. i wonder how shed feel about knowing she was nothing until she signed your dotted line.

my husband when a boyfriend and then a fiance was much more than nothing.he was no less to me then than he is now.he was the fiance i loved then and the husband i love now and he was deffinately everything to me and me to him, i mean we did go thru thick and thin to be together and start a family. and if you just "think" you love someone, then you have problems for sure, you have to "feel" and "know" you love someone to have a relationship imo. and weather you can just hop on a plane or not does not mean any more or less that your fiance can not or would not cheat on you. im just glad i have morals, and so does my husband. bc without them it is an unhealthy relationship. you need morals and values in a relationship to make it work, along with love and trust. without it, then its just a disaster waiting to happen.

goodnight, and darn good luck with your marriage.

[mawilson 2,133]

It's just that recovering from cheating takes time, patience, trust, and a lot of work.

It doesn't if you don't know about it...

[Caladan 19]

It's just that recovering from cheating takes time, patience, trust, and a lot of work.

It doesn't if you don't know about it...

Hehe. Well, in the OP's case, that's a moot point.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Meet Laura. She's a 31 yr. old woman from Colombia who's looking for a sincere, honest, affectionate, simple, hard worker.

http://www.colombiansweethearts.com/profil...?profile_id=210

I'll bet she doesn't kiss and tell.

[Identity 0]

Laura is Lovely. She'll love long time.

[mawilson 2,133]

and with that, i have to say i feel sorry for your wife especially since you concidered her "nothing" for so long. i wonder how shed feel about knowing she was nothing until she signed your dotted line.

my husband when a boyfriend and then a fiance was much more than nothing.he was no less to me then than he is now.he was the fiance i loved then and the husband i love now and he was deffinately everything to me and me to him, i mean we did go thru thick and thin to be together and start a family. and if you just "think" you love someone, then you have problems for sure, you have to "feel" and "know" you love someone to have a relationship imo. and weather you can just hop on a plane or not does not mean any more or less that your fiance can not or would not cheat on you. im just glad i have morals, and so does my husband. bc without them it is an unhealthy relationship. you need morals and values in a relationship to make it work, along with love and trust. without it, then its just a disaster waiting to happen.

goodnight, and darn good luck with your marriage.

My wife and I don't even believe in marriage. We only got married because it was an

immigration requirement and the only way for us to stay together. If the USCIS recognised

common-law marriages, we wouldn't have signed any papers that's for damn sure.

Ever watch "The Bachelor"? They have all these fantasy dates, which are not like real life at all

so every moment seems "special" and of course they fall "in love". Then, when they go home

and people's feet smell, and they don't pick up after themselves, the glamour wears off and

they break up. Surprise, surprise. I think a lot of VJ mail-order bride relationships are based

off of fantasy dating, flying here and there. It's all just that -- a fantasy.

[sakurasama 0]

I wonder if all the people who are counseling you to dump her now would do the same thing if their fiancee made out with someone for 15 minutes. If so, there might be a lot of doomed marriages. Marriage is hard and your spouse will hurt you. That is a given. They will disappoint you and make mistakes. You will too. And you forgive each other and your love grows stronger because you learn that you can count on that person even when they aren't perfect and even when they don't do everything you wish they would. She is young and she is bound to do the dumb things young people do and you just have to realize that and that she will grow older and stop doing those things. Youth is a temporary state.

I don't know how sad and lonely she is being away from you but I know how sad and lonely I am being away from my fiance and I sure enough would choose someone just like him to cheat with if I were to cheat! And whoever makes a big deal about the time frame, after the first thirty seconds your brain turns off.

If you dump her because she made a mistake and confessed to you, I think you will be the one who failed at loving her and not the other way around.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Meet Laura. She's a 31 yr. old woman from Colombia who's looking for a sincere, honest, affectionate, simple, hard worker.

Just as I would have guessed.

Does Jinky know you're scanning these type profiles?

[garya505 2]

Meet Laura. She's a 31 yr. old woman from Colombia who's looking for a sincere, honest, affectionate, simple, hard worker.

http://www.colombiansweethearts.com/profil...?profile_id=210

I'll bet she doesn't kiss and tell.

[dims1 0]

Dear Mike,

First.... Nobody knows your situation and shouldn't be giving you counseling here at V.J.

So what I would like to do is tell you about my situation with my wife.

Lorna is in the Philippines, is 24 and loves me like crazy. I'm 56. I wasn't looking for a young girl but she saw my profile and pursued me.

I lover her with all my heart and hope our relationship lasts forever.

We had a jealousy issue in the beginning of our relationship. It was over nothing really, but made me realize that we needed a bigger power in our lives. God of course! I then talked to Lorna about this and we decided to put our relationship into Gods hands and we prayed...... We payed to God that we wanted his will..... his blessings. After we were done praying, I told Lorna that if our relationship WAS NOT God's will, then I wanted it to end. She agreed.

After that our love for each other grew stronger and stronger and the jealousy disappeared. And most importantly, I felt in my heart that if Lorna was not supposed to be with me.... I was ok with that because of how important God's wil is to me. I told Lorna that if we only lasted a week or a month or a year, I would enjoy my time with her and thank God for this time together.

If she gets to the USA and for some reason falls for a young stud muffin, I'm ok with that.

Things change..... people change..... I'm ever changing. So who is to say what will happen tomorrow. It's in God's hands.

Lorna is very mature for her age and I'm an old rock n roller so I am VERY young at heart. We both love music and we both love God. She is attracted to an older man like many filipinas and thinks guys her age are way to immature. She loves my knowledge of life since I've been "around the block" more than a few times. I am an old soul.

In our relationship, sometimes I'm like a father, sometimes like her brother. I'm a best friend husband and lover. She brings youth to the table. I love it. She keeps me awake and energized and reminds me to be alive and live.

As a young girl, a kid really, she will make her mistakes. There is so much she doesn't know about or understand.

She will try things...... She will make mistakes in her journey. I know cuz I sure made mistakes in my long life. I have to be patient, understanding, FORGIVING, and be there for here when she falls.

Its not up to me how bad her mistake is. What's important is that she truly loves me, will tell me the truth and communicate with me...... AND loves her God!

I want here to be able to live her life to the fullest. I can help. Hopefully I can teach her some of the "dos" and "do nots" in this crazy world.

As far as age difference. We talked about that and I let her know that I will prepare her for when I die since I am much older, and will prepare here so she can go on, find another good man and continue on with this wonderful life that God has blessed her with. She will have my home, my money and my knowledge to take with her on her journey. That will be my legacy.

I like to pray about important things like this and then put it in Gods hands. He ALWAYS guides me and gives me direction. Sure is easier than me going by my stupid decisions! hehehe!

God bless you Mike!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Meet Laura. She's a 31 yr. old woman from Colombia who's looking for a sincere, honest, affectionate, simple, hard worker.

Just as I would have guessed.

Does Jinky know you're scanning these type profiles?

I Googled her...nothing else, scouts honor.

[peezey 0]

Thanks for the semi-apology. I have not decided on what to do. This board is annonymous so I am not trying to humiliate or berate her. I have also noted my mistakes in the relationship as well. If I was cruel I would just enjoy myself with her and walk away. But I love her sincerely. That is why I started this process in the first place. And this is why I agonize over this decision. She will be severely hurt if I leave her. But I need to consider both of our futures. This will be one of the most difficult decisions I will make. I will not take it lightly.

Mike

How is it you know this exactly? I'm not saying that you aren't loveable, I'm just pointing out that you never thought she'd cheat, but she did. You might be surprised at her reaction should you choose to leave her.

[sakurasama 0]

Dims1- Excellent! We all never know how long our relationships will last. It is really the best to enjoy what we have while we have it!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

You can fry an egg on that stomach.