Vawa part 4

[anajnic 87]

Bestgirlever....no worries, i dnt mind the questions at all. Glad i'm able to help. Unfortunately i dnt have a copy of the ad but it says something like "this is to advise the public that i xxxx is no longer responsible for xxxx. I am not responsible for any debts incurred by xxx". Something to that tune. Any divorce lawyer or paralegal shd kno how to word it exactly. I used a paralegal for that purpose cause they r cheaper. I did not have or needed my ex signature. As for having a copy sent to him i was not concerned abt him gettin one as long as i had my copy...lol. Hell, he can go chk online or at the courthouse to find out if he's divorced. I'm done with that sucker...

How do you check online

[bestgirlever 12]

Bestgirlever....no worries, i dnt mind the questions at all. Glad i'm able to help. Unfortunately i dnt have a copy of the ad but it says something like "this is to advise the public that i xxxx is no longer responsible for xxxx. I am not responsible for any debts incurred by xxx". Something to that tune. Any divorce lawyer or paralegal shd kno how to word it exactly. I used a paralegal for that purpose cause they r cheaper. I did not have or needed my ex signature. As for having a copy sent to him i was not concerned abt him gettin one as long as i had my copy...lol. Hell, he can go chk online or at the courthouse to find out if he's divorced. I'm done with that sucker...

Thank you for the reply. When I'm ready and get a divorce lawyer I will explore this option though. It must be such a Good feeling to be finally free and done with a sucker who once made life hell for you. I can't wait to get my total freedom back. I'm happy you got yours finalised so congrats

[islandinthesun1 1]

anajnic, check the public records in the state where u used to live (where he lives). Its usually whatever county in the state..eg xxx county clerk of court and then u look in the divorce records.

Bestgirlever, trust me, i was so relieved u cant evn imagine. I wished i could get that part of my life that i spent with him back. So much was wasted but i could only get back my name. As soon as i got that little part back i began changing all my records - bank account, id, social security, everythibg that had his name i wanted to get back. I wanted as little reminders as possible of him.

It may seem like u have nothing after suffering an abuse and especially when u have no money to do want u want to straighten ur life out but trust me when God start making thibgs happen, there'll be no force to stop what he's doin for u. I still have a far way to go but it seems i have gained so much with just getting my divorce finalised. I moved out of state, stayed with family for a little while until i was able to find a job and now i am on my own. It may take a while but once u r motivated to do better and get things done, God will help u.

Most of the time this is where i find my strength and motivation. I have so much hope when i read this thread and hear some of the stories on here.

[anajnic 87]

anajnic, check the public records in the state where u used to live (where he lives). Its usually whatever county in the state..eg xxx county clerk of court and then u look in the divorce records.

Bestgirlever, trust me, i was so relieved u cant evn imagine. I wished i could get that part of my life that i spent with him back. So much was wasted but i could only get back my name. As soon as i got that little part back i began changing all my records - bank account, id, social security, everythibg that had his name i wanted to get back. I wanted as little reminders as possible of him.

It may seem like u have nothing after suffering an abuse and especially when u have no money to do want u want to straighten ur life out but trust me when God start making thibgs happen, there'll be no force to stop what he's doin for u. I still have a far way to go but it seems i have gained so much with just getting my divorce finalised. I moved out of state, stayed with family for a little while until i was able to find a job and now i am on my own. It may take a while but once u r motivated to do better and get things done, God will help u.

Most of the time this is where i find my strength and motivation. I have so much hope when i read this thread and hear some of the stories on here.

I still reside in the same state and county, however, I just tried to check it states i have to submit it in writing to access public records. I won't even deal with that right now.Need to get over this interview first .thanks islandinthesun

[Sandra G. 5,047]

anajnic i recommend you find a pro bono lawyer to handle your divorce . In NJ divorce is a complicated process, if the divorce is consensual you have to follow 5 steps and serve your husband 5 times with paper courts, then imagine if its not consensual.

1-Acknowlege the divorce (serve him in person or using the sheriff)

2-Enter default divorce(or waive) serve in person or using the sheriff

3-communicating change of name (serve by certified mail)

4- Informing the divorce hearing(serve by certified mail)

5-Send him divorce decree(serve by certifies mail) yep you have to submit, NJ is ridiculous the divorce process.

This is a consensual divorce, and he is willing to sign everything without any problem.If you don't where he is or if he will contest the divorce well it willbe a different story and more steps.

Edited December 16, 2013 by sandranj

[Sandra G. 5,047]

I want to give an advice for those filing Vawa based just based in mental abuse you must find a PSYCHOLOGIST to perform the psychological evaluation. I receive often letters from counselors and psychiatrists. Counselor cannot diagnose and cannot perform evaluation, the psychiatrist can perform tests but their evaluation is short and basically they don't mention any circumstance of the abuse, then immigration usually does not give weight to this kind of evaluation. Before starting therapy ask the psychologist if he/she has experience involving evaluation to submit to immigration or to the Court, if he doesn't have experience in this area then find another professional.

Please DO NOT SHOW YOU AFFIDAVIT to the psychologist ever. I saw at least 5 cases here in the VJ the psychologists copied 100% the affidavit and just put in the evaluation, and of course this kind the evaluation immigration will not take into consideration. I saw two cases denied that USCIS stated the evaluations were basically a copy of the aliens affidavits and not their psychological perception as a professional, when they asked my help was too late.

The psychologist must mention circumstances where you suffered control, humiliation, degradation, isolation, threats etc...

Edited December 16, 2013 by sandranj

[Samusbbz 0]

I want to give an advice for those filing Vawa based just based in mental abuse you must find a PSYCHOLOGIST to perform the psychological evaluation. I receive often letters from counselors and psychiatrists. Counselor cannot diagnose and cannot perform evaluation, the psychiatrist can perform tests but their evaluation is short and basically they don't mention any circumstance of the abuse, then immigration usually does not give weight to this kind of evaluation. Before starting therapy ask the psychologist if he/she has experience involving evaluation to submit to immigration or to the Court, if he doesn't have experience in this area then find another professional.

Please DO NOT SHOW YOU AFFIDAVIT to the psychologist ever. I saw at least 5 cases here in the VJ the psychologists copied 100% the affidavit and just put in the evaluation, and of course this kind the evaluation immigration will not take into consideration. I saw two cases denied that USCIS stated the evaluations were basically a copy of the aliens affidavits and not their psychological perception as a professional, when they asked my help was too late.

The psychologist must mention circumstances where you suffered control, humiliation, degradation, isolation, threats etc...

I see, all I have are records of my therapy sessions written by my therapist at the time. My concern though is that it's been a very long time since I saw a therapist and got over what happened to me, It has been at least 18 months since i've received help. Would a psychological evaluation still help today?

[Sandra G. 5,047]

Sambbz if you are ok now then you won't have a diagnose of major depression,post traumatic disorder,and a new psychological evaluation won't help you at all. It's very important to have a psychologist evaluation right after the abuse or when you are experiencing symptons of depression or pos traumatic disorder.THe psychologist has to mention onset of the problems,history of the abuse,treatment performed and/or recommended,tests performed,diagnose and prognostic.A great evaluation has between 9/13 pages and performed by a psychologist.Never show your affidavit to the psychologist,some are lazy and just copy&paste your affidavit in the evaluation. Unfortunately in your case a psychological evaluation won't help you anymore.Your affidavit is very Important to show the abuse suffered,but if you didn't have a diagnose of pos traumatic disorder,depression or anxiety then your case couldn't be approved.

Edited December 16, 2013 by sandranj

[anajnic 87]

anajnic i recommend you find a pro bono lawyer to handle your divorce . In NJ divorce is a complicated process, if the divorce is consensual you have to follow 5 steps and serve your husband 5 times with paper courts, then imagine if its not consensual.

1-Acknowlege the divorce (serve him in person or using the sheriff)

2-Enter default divorce(or waive) serve in person or using the sheriff

3-communicating change of name (serve by certified mail)

4- Informing the divorce hearing(serve by certified mail)

5-Send him divorce decree(serve by certifies mail) yep you have to submit, NJ is ridiculous the divorce process.

This is a consensual divorce, and he is willing to sign everything without any problem.If you don't where he is or if he will contest the divorce well it willbe a different story and more steps.

Thanks Sandranj,Will most definitely do just that

[lank 16]

Sandra, I sent you a pm. Can you please respond when you have a chance? Thank you.

[Cielo14 2]

Hello everyone!

[donehere 0]

Hello everyone

Hey Cielo,

how are you gal ?? Any update on your case?

[donehere 0]

I received an status update email from USCIS on Oct 17, 2013 that my case has been transferred to Local Office. As per Sandra's post since its over 45 days, I booked an Infopass appointment and went for it today and the Officer said that my case is transferred to NBC and now NBC has to transfer the case, so once they have case transferred to Local Office I should get interview date. She mentioned since its Holiday season I gotta wait for sometime and expect to have my file transfer to local office in Jan-Feb.

Anyone else in similar boat??

Edited December 17, 2013 by donehere

[piper2013 4]

So that e-mail from Oct. 17 said that your case was transferred to the Local Office or to the NBC? It sounds like your case is still at the NBC...

I'm in the same boat. My 45th day is in 3 days, and my case is just sitting at the NBC. I got a letter in early November that they had transferred it there.

Did you submit an e-request before the Infopass or did you directly do an Infopass? I remember Sandra advising about a week ago that after day 45 the first thing should be an e-request, then wait 10 days and if still no response - then set up Infopass. Is this what you did?

I received an status update email from USCIS on Oct 17, 2013 that my case has been transferred to Local Office. As per Sandra's post since its over 45 days, I booked an Infopass appointment and went for it today and the Officer said that my case is transferred to NBC and now NBC has to transfer the case, so once they have case transferred to Local Office I should get interview date. She mentioned since its Holiday season I gotta wait for sometime and expect to have my file transfer to local office in Jan-Feb.

Anyone else in similar boat??

[donehere 0]

So that e-mail from Oct. 17 said that your case was transferred to the Local Office or to the NBC? It sounds like your case is still at the NBC...

I'm in the same boat. My 45th day is in 3 days, and my case is just sitting at the NBC. I got a letter in early November that they had transferred it there.

Did you submit an e-request before the Infopass or did you directly do an Infopass? I remember Sandra advising about a week ago that after day 45 the first thing should be an e-request, then wait 10 days and if still no response - then set up Infopass. Is this what you did?

No, I didnt. I directly went for appointment. Maybe thats the mistake I did and I should have done e-request first but not sure what it is.

The email clearly states that it is transferred to Local office but in reality it looks like its still with NBC .