Thinking about Morocco tonight

[abbi627 43]

Hi everyone,

I guess there is no real point to this post. I have been back in the US for 11 days. Starting back to work. Getting ready to move into a new place. Filing the visa petition. Back to "normal" whatever that is. And I am very grateful that I had that three months to spend with my husband. I have a wonderful husband. We have our future ahead of us. I have a job. I have much to be thankful for. Believe me I know all that. But.....I miss my husband. I miss his family. I miss Morocco. So tonight I just thought I would start this thread as I remember the little things about Morocco and about my husband that I miss so much. I'm taking this few minutes and writing this with a smile and through tears. And then I will straighten up and get back to working on getting my husband home with me where he belongs.

I miss my husband's smile

I miss how he makes me feel like the most important person in the world (he does that even when we are separated too)

I miss how he would surprise me with a bottle of Hawai

I miss how he would cook all my favorite foods for me

I miss how he took care of me when I was sick

I miss his laughter

I miss having our meals together

I miss how he would come in from working just to give me a hug

I miss seeing the mischevious twinkle in his eyes

I miss being able to look him in the eye when we say I love you

I miss being able to say good night to him and know he will be there in the morning

I miss just being able to sit and have long conversations - silly conversations or serious ones - or just sitting quietly next to each other

There are a million more things but I just.......miss him

I miss his parents

I miss his brothers and sisters

I miss the chickens and cows and sheep and ducks and cats and dogs

I miss hearing the call to prayer

I miss walking around the farm

I miss watching TV in Arabic

I miss the closeness of his family and how I was accepted

I miss wandering around the markets with him

I miss watching the closeness he shares with his parents and siblings

I miss the crazy drivers and being crammed in the taxis like sardines (ok I don't miss that part but it does make me smile to remember it)

I miss the smell of bread baking

I miss the taste of the food
I miss the hot mint tea

I miss the fresh air

I miss Morocco and I miss my family

Ok now my keyboard is wet with tears. But I needed to write this. Now back to working on that darn petition. I want my husband home.

Let's all keep hope alive that we will all soon be reunited with our loved ones. Those of you who are close to interview time I am praying that you all have success. And those of us who have a long way to go - I pray for patience and strength to get through this time. There will come a day inshaa Allah that we will all be together with our loved ones on the same continent and not have to be separated again!

Ok didn't mean to write a book. Just feeling a bit emotional tonight. Thanks for listening. If anyone wants to add anything please feel free

[Hanan6415 1]

Awww. I can relate! I hope your journey willnbe smooth. God Bless you while you wait!!

[jen&salah 0]

I remember after I came back, I just cried and cried for weeks. I started as soon as I got on the plane and didn't stop til the next day at least The wait will be worth it though! It's the best feeling in the world seeing them in the airport

[littlej 23]

i could feel the pain of your heavy heart as i read your post. I hope your time goes quickly and you are together again

Edited June 10, 2013 by littlej

[Happytobe 164]

As sad as I know you are right now.... 2 thoughts crossed my mind while reading this.... 1) Are we married to the same man? Meant in the sweetest of ways as I think/say the same things about my husband. and 2) I couldn't stop smiling, because it's the same things I say.... Your love and adoration for your husband came through. It is difficult.... but you are a strong woman, and will make it through. My husband and I say "we're closer today than we were yesterday" Keeping that in mind has helped keep me sane. Someday, you'll look back and see how the distance made you stronger, as you have to develop such a great communication with each other. You'll also have some insight on how he will feel when he arrives, which will hopefully help you help him adjust better. There's goodness all around you..... Embrace it all.

Take care! You'll make it through

[abbi627 43]

Thanks for kind replies. Happytobe: I love that quote: we are closer today than we were yesterday. I am going to start using that. I'm doing better and feeling a bit stronger. I am busy with work and also working hard on making this petition the best it can be. I know this is just the beginning of the rest of our lives together. But WOW I never envisioned just hard the adjustment phase would be for me when I came back. I just got so used to being there. We got the chance to live like a normal married couple - not a couple in a long-distance relationship and it was wonderful. We could be normal. I got used to it. And then suddenly much too soon we are at the airport and I can't even let myself remember that goodbye - it was awful. And then I'm on a plane and now I'm here in Florida and it was like a shock to my body and my emotions and I am still working through this. You have all gone through it. And I am adjusting. Thank goodness for telephones and Skype. And everything will be fine. But darn it I just want my husband. I want to be normal again. But there is this process to go through so.....we wait. Just like all the rest of you. I read all of your stories and see what you have all gone through or are going through and it gives me strength and hope. Hard to talk about it much to people who don't understand. They mean well but continually ask: well you have been to see him so much why doesn't he just come see you now? I know they mean well but.....sigh.

Happytobe: I saw you are hoping for an August interview date: I am so excited for you! Good luck my friend.

[Happytobe 164]

Thanks. Abbi! The only thing that may hold us up is the BC document he sent. It's the new version that can be accessed in any registrars office in Morocco with the new National ID. It has all the required info and even states something to the effect of "replaces document certificate of birth." We are soooooooo praying they will take it. If I get a checklist for it, I will try speaking to a supervisor.

[Ismael&Blair 66]

Yes, I can totally relate too! Very sweet words. Be patient and be strong too. Time will past very quickly and you two will be reunited very soon. My hubby and I are in the same boat!

[Happytobe 164]

I was re-reading this post... and thinking about all the little things we do to/for each other.

Palming each others face.

My telling him "don't fall out of bed" or "don't fall in the loo" and him always telling me to be safe and drive slow.

And each night he tells me to have sweet dreams.

When I get really excited I talk really, really fast...he says I'm speaking American, at that point, because he can't understand what I am saying. If he starts asking questions, I won't slow down my speaking, but being told I'm speaking American always gets me to pause, take a breath, and start over more slowly.

He and his family would tear pieces of meat off for me to eat. I'm not very good at that.

His mom would make sure I had a plate and a fork, even though I rarely used it.

He would tuck me into bed and make sure I was warm enough.

If my husbands sees some one on the street he didn't trust, he'd pull me closer.

I miss him and his family a great deal.... and all I can do is smile, because we will see each other again, soon enough. I can't cry for some reason, remembering all these things makes me happy....Maybe I'm a little off, maybe not. It is unbearable. I always have a plan. I run early. Not knowing what is going to happen in the next several months is driving me mad.... but these things keep me sane. All of us, I'm sure, has some things like these that keep us grounded going through this process.

I hope I'm not too off topic, Abbi, I just had to share my thoughts and I thought it kind of fit with what you are saying.

If not you can LOL

[abbi627 43]

That was a very sweet post Happytobe. It made me smile to read it. I think we all have our little things that we do for each other and our own special little things in our relationship. Your feelings for your husband really show through in your posts and I am so excited for you that you are getting close to interview time. Will you be able to go over for the interview? I know on your interview day I'll be watching VJ closely and praying for a positive outcome.

Your post reminded me of some other little things about me and my husband and his family:

His mother always brought me a spoon when she served cous cous. I never asked for one but I guess I wasn't doing too great of a job eating it with me hands (LOL)

I have asthma. My husband would always ask before we left if I had my inhaler and he would alwasy put an extra one in his pocket in case I lost mine. He still asks me on the phone if I have my inhaler.

I came to love drinking Hawai and he was always surprising me with it.

His mother was always fixing my hair for me before we went somewhere. Seems my hair is always peeking out around the scarf and she would brush and pull up my hair for me before we would leave.

He would always try to wash my clothes for me. I would usually insist on doing it myself but it does get tiring washing everything by hand. But he was always wanting to do it for me.

Basically I guess we were living as a normal husband and wife and family. We did things for each other. We were TOGETHER. I'm not saying everything was perfect. But even when there were problems we were together. We could count on each other. We were a normal ordinary happily married couple. Living together. That is what I miss the most. I wake up and he's not here. We get on the phone. We get on Skype. But I can't touch him. I am sure you all know how I feel. I can talk all day about all the little things I miss about him. But I guess what I really miss the most is the normal everyday life we lived while we had the chance to just be husband and wife - and not be a husband and wife 6000 miles apart going through a visa journey that has no real timetable as to when we will be together forever. THAT to me is the hard part.

[Happytobe 164]

Yes, the not knowing when or where is awful. I have to not think about it because I growl when I do LOL That's why I focus on the sweet things. We keep up our optimism, because the possible reality is too painful, but we do remind ourselves from time to time just in case the worst happens, we have some preparation for that.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it for his interview, unless it's in November, then there's a possibility. I have more time off from work then, and I won't have all the money for a ticket for a few more weeks. He is going to try and have one of his brothers go with him so he can hold his phone and such. I think he also wants some one to share the result with right away. I do wish I could, though. I'm leery of booking a trip next month, however, because we are so close to having the interview assigned. If it's soon, I don't want to have a trip booked months after when I could see him sooner. I know it would be beneficial, but there are too many unknowns at this point. (Yes, I just growled)

I hope/pray on his interview day, he has the opportunity to wake me with a phone call and great news! He doesn't get noticeably excitable, but I can almost hear him being loud and speaking fast telling me the good news. I don't think I am totally prepared for if he gets denied. AP I could handle, I think, but a denial would crush me. I just can't imagine. Well, I can, I just don't want to.

Anyway.... here's to happy thoughts!!! (that's me chair dancing)

[abbi627 43]

I love your optimistic spirit! And I watch the boards regularly hoping to hear that you have your interview scheduled. You definitely have a cheerleader in your corner. You are sort of my role model (smiling). You got married before me and you helped me learn the process of getting married in Morocco. You are going through it all ahead of me and I watch and hope and pray for you and I realize that someday that will be me inshaa Allah.

Yes we also have made our backup plans in case something goes wrong with the visa. And you know that really does help. It means we WILL be together. I think that is so important. Maybe we will be here. Maybe we will be there. But we will be together. That's the important thing I have to remember.

Feeling more optimistic today. Now I am going to go talk to my husband.

[ShirahBet 42]

You all are cute.

I wouldn't worry much about a denial. If you sent in a lot of proof with your NVC stuff about your relationship, the interview should be a breeze. My husband said the interviewer was really nice to him, she asked questions that he basically was able to anticipate. So unless something is drastically wrong with your case, don't even think about denial of visa. Approval or AP, unless you have a situation like ours that warrants a waiver..

[abbi627 43]

I try not to worry too much about it - but it IS Casa so we never know for sure. But I try not to spend too much time worrying. We just made our backup plans in case anything goes wrong so we will be together one way or the other.

[Happytobe 164]

I, too, try not to worry too much, but it's not good to have all your eggs in one basket, so we must think of all the possibilities. It is Casa after all. I have read all the reviews. And I have seen couples with more visits than we have get denied.... so it really makes you wonder what the government finds, sometimes. I know that we have a plan, if he is denied. I know that we have a plan if he's approved. I know that we have a plan if he is put in AP. it's just this insane waiting......