Moved out but now what?

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

am sorry to reply to this,but i think you are not following what this woman is complaining of here,she said the guy didnt have sex with her after marriage,i am not saying sex is love,but what i am saying is that,sometimes,you need to know whom you are dealing with,she want love,make family and to make family with children,you need sex,i dont know if you agree with me on this,but the main issue here that the woman is really not ok with is that the guy doesnt want to have sex with her. that is the main issue here and without that,the woman's plan cant never work out,because she needs her own kids too,want a family.

We are following perfectly fine and understand and agree that there has to be sex in the marriage and that the OP was not happy

with his disinterest in it. That is obvious.

The reason I replied to your post was because you told her she should have had sex before marriage to see if he was genuine when she clearly

stated her belief in abstinence before marriage. I have a problem with your suggestion that sex with someone is a tool to test

sincerity before marriage. It is NOT.

It is not about everyone elses preference here, it is about the personal choice of the OP. Respect that !

[The Mean Lady 604]

am sorry to reply to this,but i think you are not following what this woman is complaining of here,she said the guy didnt have sex with her after marriage,i am not saying sex is love,but what i am saying is that,sometimes,you need to know whom you are dealing with,she want love,make family and to make family with children,you need sex,i dont know if you agree with me on this,but the main issue here that the woman is really not ok with is that the guy doesnt want to have sex with her. that is the main issue here and without that,the woman's plan cant never work out,because she needs her own kids too,want a family.

Well no Sh**.

But that's not what you said at all.

You said she should have had sex w/him before marriage and basically it's her fault that they didn't.

Don't come back and try to twist your own words to make what you said sound better.

[CaroSL 68]

am sorry to reply to this,but i think you are not following what this woman is complaining of here,she said the guy didnt have sex with her after marriage,i am not saying sex is love,but what i am saying is that,sometimes,you need to know whom you are dealing with,she want love,make family and to make family with children,you need sex,i dont know if you agree with me on this,but the main issue here that the woman is really not ok with is that the guy doesnt want to have sex with her. that is the main issue here and without that,the woman's plan cant never work out,because she needs her own kids too,want a family.

Well... The OP does want a family that include kids and a loving husband and father. Not just sperm to have babies (sry for the bluntness of this)

Plus if you have sex before marriage and it is terrible, yes, you can this there is a red flag and rethink it. Or you can completely ignore it. As so many other things in a relationship.

You can't tell someone you know nothing about that sex before marriage is the solution for a perfect love life. It is not. Or that not having sex before marriage leads to a terrible sex life. You can't know that.

[what2donow 0]

Good luck to you, I am dealing with a similar situation - my husband moved out 6 months ago, a year and a half after getting his 10 yr GC. We had not had any major fight beforehand, he just completely blindsided me, moved all his stuff out while I was at work, changed his phone # - I have no idea where he is. He has not filed divorce papers neither has he contacted me at all. It turned out to be a scam, 5 years of my life gone, wasted, not to mention how much money I spent to help him and his family. I am contemplating filing divorce papers (by publication since I cannot locate him) but it really burns me how I have to spend more money when he is the one who ended the marriage. I guess he thought he was being clever by sticking around over a year after the 10yr GC but he showed all the signs of being a scammer - fake FB account with a different first name, separate bank account(which the idiot had the first statement sent to our apartment, and I always got the mail), and the biggest red flag, always calling 'friends' from his country who he never called in my presence and whom I never met - scammers are pros at networking. 6 months in I am dealing a little better but it still really hurts sometimes - hang in there...

[godlove 29]

You got married in, what, late 2009?

Isn't that too early for him to even attempt applying for citizenship?

Perhaps he was denied, not because you wrote a letter, but because he isn't eligible yet.

I'm confused as to if citizenship is 5 years or 3 years.

its 2 years if your married to a US citizen

[godlove 29]

I am very sorry to hear that, its obvious this man wanted to use you to escape poverty in Nigeria. People like him never progress in life, know happiness or peace because they are stupid enough to think that coming to America is a free ride to success and riches but end up working at Wal-Mart as a cashier for the rest of their lives. His the loser and you are the winner, he lost out on a wonderful woman and a wonderful life. You won because you got your dignity back, peace of mind and am sure the right man will come along. Its better to spend 4 years with a worthless man than spend 20 years. We all have at some point made a wrong choice or decision in life, some mistakes are understood but requires effort to prevent (you noticed something about him the first day you met). Let this be an eyeopener for you, don't just marry someone because you want to have kids. Seek God before settling down with any man, allow God to speak to you and allow yourself to listen to him when he speaks, it does not matter how well you think you know the person or how long you know him or what country the person lives. God opinion MATTERS, and maybe God allowed things to happen the way they did . Be strong, happy and grateful to God for everything. I wish you the best of luck in life.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

its 2 years if your married to a US citizen

3 years

[VanessaTony 3,567]

its 2 years if your married to a US citizen

No. It's 3 years.