About to file I-129F Please help me!

[Joey Icecream 0]

Hey all,

I am about to file the i-129f petition for my fiance and would just like to see if any members here could give us some advice and help look for any red flags.

I took a vacation to Vietnam in March with a good friend of mine (He's American Vietnamese) While we were out and about I met the girl who is now my fiance on March 26th. I tried to speak to her in my very poor Vietnamese and it turns out she speaks English really well. I spent most of the next 3 weeks together doing anything and everything. We took two special trips out of Saigon together. Vung Tau and the Mekong Delta. On April 14th we had to say our goodbyes but we had already talked about staying together and figuring out how to make it work for us. Originally I was going to leave my job and teach english in Saigon. (After I got back I went through the class and have my TESOL\TEFL certifications) After talking about how things would be in the future with a family we decided that we should have our life in the US. I proposed on May 31st, 2013 over Skype and she happily accepted. The next day she told her mother (Who I have met on Skype) about it and she was elated.

How much of this story should I put in the i129f?

We have Skype, Facebook, Text messages and Phone records of every single day since I left until now. How much, if any should I put in with the i129F?

Will the length of our relationship hurt us?

We are planning our Dam Hoi for mid July or early August, should we wait until after we do this to submit the paperwork? (I really don't want to wait until then to start the 10 month process.)

Thanks everyone! If anyone lives near Dallas, TX I will buy you some drinks for any advice you can give!

[Banh Xeo 0]

Hey all,

I am about to file the i-129f petition for my fiance and would just like to see if any members here could give us some advice and help look for any red flags.

I took a vacation to Vietnam in March with a good friend of mine (He's American Vietnamese) While we were out and about I met the girl who is now my fiance on March 26th. I tried to speak to her in my very poor Vietnamese and it turns out she speaks English really well. I spent most of the next 3 weeks together doing anything and everything. We took two special trips out of Saigon together. Vung Tau and the Mekong Delta. On April 14th we had to say our goodbyes but we had already talked about staying together and figuring out how to make it work for us. Originally I was going to leave my job and teach english in Saigon. (After I got back I went through the class and have my TESOL\TEFL certifications) After talking about how things would be in the future with a family we decided that we should have our life in the US. I proposed on May 31st, 2013 over Skype and she happily accepted. The next day she told her mother (Who I have met on Skype) about it and she was elated.

How much of this story should I put in the i129f?

We have Skype, Facebook, Text messages and Phone records of every single day since I left until now. How much, if any should I put in with the i129F?

Will the length of our relationship hurt us?

We are planning our Dam Hoi for mid July or early August, should we wait until after we do this to submit the paperwork? (I really don't want to wait until then to start the 10 month process.)

Thanks everyone! If anyone lives near Dallas, TX I will buy you some drinks for any advice you can give!

In regards to the BOLD quote, is that as in "2013", this year?

If it's 2013, it means from the very first moment you two have known each other to the official "big" Proposal moment, it's only 2 months, give or take?

Sit down, take a deep breath, and think about that!

Just imagine your daughter does something like that, as her father, what would be your reaction?

You're NOT trolling here right?

Edited June 7, 2013 by Banh Xeo

[Joey Icecream 0]

Banh, Thank you taking the time to read my story. This was all in 2013. I understand how it may look to other people which is why I am asking these questions, I am definitely not trolling and just looking for advice from people who have been through this before I proceed. We met completely by chance and from the start our relationship was very strong. We just want everything to go as quickly as possible, but more than that we need it to be perfect.

Thu and I have thought about this and we have talked about it very seriously. I actually told my employer I was leaving at the end of June to move to Saigon to be with her. However, I make really good money and the thought of trying to bring our family to the US in a few years without having any of the stability I have now seemed much more unmanageable and unwise.

To be honest I thought about proposing before I left Saigon, but I wanted to make it more special and less rushed as I had already planned on going back to be with her.(Go figure that I now proposed over Skype...)

I am in no way trolling, just in need of all the advice and help people who know more about this process can offer. (especially in regards to the HCMC Consulate.)

[phil09 8]

Joey, definitely wait till after you've had your Dam Hoi to file the petition. A friend of mine went to VN in 3/2011, met a girl, fell in love, and went back to VN a second time in 7/2011 to have his Dam Hoi. He filed his 129F in 8/2011 with plenty of pictures and evidence (phone records, plane tickets, etc). She was interviewed in June 2012 and got approved. She came to the US in 8/2012.

[Banh Xeo 0]

 

Banh, Thank you taking the time to read my story. This was all in 2013. I understand how it may look to other people which is why I am asking these questions, I am definitely not trolling and just looking for advice from people who have been through this before I proceed. We met completely by chance and from the start our relationship was very strong. We just want everything to go as quickly as possible, but more than that we need it to be perfect.

Thu and I have thought about this and we have talked about it very seriously. I actually told my employer I was leaving at the end of June to move to Saigon to be with her. However, I make really good money and the thought of trying to bring our family to the US in a few years without having any of the stability I have now seemed much more unmanageable and unwise.

To be honest I thought about proposing before I left Saigon, but I wanted to make it more special and less rushed as I had already planned on going back to be with her.(Go figure that I now proposed over Skype...)

I am in no way trolling, just in need of all the advice and help people who know more about this process can offer. (especially in regards to the HCMC Consulate.)

 

Do you only care to sail through the Visa petition as quickly as possible? You haven't thought about the "what-if" scenario!

OK, that was why I typed "Sit down, take a deep breath and think carefully about it" in my first reply of this thread. What if once she's here and things don't work out. Do you have a back-up plan?

By then, you have thrown away your security (job, money (trust me, you WILL clean up your bank account by then) and your relationship with your family and possibly happiness). I'm not saying Thu has bad intention but you have to plan for the WORST scenario.

You're showing that you're NOT using your head thinking clearly right now by doing what you're doing (trying to commit your life with someone half the world away after meeting that person LESS than 6 months ago!).

I'm scared for you!

What did Thu put in your drinking water, literally?

BTW, you mentioned that Thu's mom and Thu were thrilled when you proposed to her (only 2 months after the first time you 2 knew each other, NOT the first meeting), then all the rush-rush attitude. You've got to slow down! There's a reason why they rush you!

They don't want to give you time to think thoroughly!

You don't even have enough time to carefully draw out your timeline for a perfect Visa journey (a recipe for failure). You attempt to file the petition BEFORE the engagement.

Slow down, take time to investigate her! Has she done this in the past and failed? Is she using you now?

Edited June 7, 2013 by Banh Xeo

[Joey Icecream 0]

Joey, definitely wait till after you've had your Dam Hoi to file the petition. A friend of mine went to VN in 3/2011, met a girl, fell in love, and went back to VN a second time in 7/2011 to have his Dam Hoi. He filed his 129F in 8/2011 with plenty of pictures and evidence (phone records, plane tickets, etc). She was interviewed in June 2012 and got approved. She came to the US in 8/2012.

Thank you for the great information. Is your friend on this website at all? I would love to be able to talk to someone who has gone through the HCMC process before.

   

Do you only care to sail through the Visa petition as quickly as possible? You haven't thought about the "what-if" scenario?

OK, that was why I typed "Sit down, take a deep breath and think carefully about it" in my first reply of this thread. What if once she's here and things don't work out. Do you have a back-up plan?

By then, you have thrown away your security (job, money (trust me, you WILL clean up your bank account by then) and your relationship with your family and possibly happiness). I'm not saying Thu has bad intention but you have to plan for the WORST scenario.

You're showing that you're NOT using your head thinking clearly right now by doing what you're doing (trying to commit your life with someone half the world away after meeting that person LESS than 6 months ago!).

I'm scared for you!

What did Thu put in your drinking water, literally?

I appreciate what you're saying, I really do, but I am not going to listen to it. I am one of the most meticulous and logical people you will ever meet, when it comes to matters of heart I think its debatable on whether or not you should have a back-up plan. I feel like having a back-up plan "in case this doesn't work out" in this situation is accepting that it won't work out. We are talking about until death do us part marriage, not "What if I miss the 9:30 showing of Iron Man, I'll just see it tomorrow." We have all had relationships in the past that have gone south, I honestly hope people don't get in to serious relationships thinking "This probably won't work out. I will just ride this out for a while and find someone else later."

She has never filed for a Visa to the US under any circumstance and has never been engaged. They are not the ones pushing this, this was all after a thorough evaluation of where we would be in 5 years if I moved to Saigon to be with her. One of the questions I asked was if we should have our engagement party before I submit the petition. Which at this point we are going to do.

Good luck with your studies and I hope everything works out for you. If you ever need advice or information about anything feel free to ask.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Joey Icecream

[Banh Xeo 0]

Joey,

At this point, no more comment from me. You already made up your mind. Good luck! (not for the Visa process, for something else. You already know what I meant)

Since you're in the Dallas area, watch Vietface TV. Tune in Tues nights from 0800PM to 0900PM. There's a good lawyer there. Hope he'll able to help you, if any.

Please come back here 5 years from now and confirm whether or not I'm right.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Banh Xeo

[Joey Icecream 0]

Joey,

At this point, no more comment from me. You already made up your mind. Good luck! (not for the Visa process, for something else. You already know what I meant)

Since you're in the Dallas area, watch Vietface TV. Tune in Tues nights from 0800PM to 0900PM. There's a good lawyer there. Hope he'll able to help you, if any.

Please come back here 5 years from now and confirm whether or not I'm right.

Banh, thank you for your attention and care. You are right, I do have my mind made up. I understand that a lot of people have been "had" in situations like this, but I know that she is not like that. She is generous and kind, I've had the opportunity to watch her interact with people in many different situations. She treats everyone with such care it obvious she has a very big heart. She never asked me to send her or her family money.(I have sent her money and kept the reciepts) If you had the opportunity to know her the way I do you would be as convinced as I am about her. I promise I will invite you to our 5 year anniversary.

Update for everyone who posted here or reads this later:

As much as it breaks my heart to delay at all, we have decided to wait to file the K1 petition. I am going back to Vietnam for 2 weeks, I am going to give her the real proposal she deserves and we're going to have our Dam Hoi (bonus, it sounds like my dad is going to come with) and submit our petition after I return to the US. I feel like this will give us a much better chance our interview.

I would still love to get any more advice and comments here or pm's from anyone.

[phil09 8]

Thank you for the great information. Is your friend on this website at all? I would love to be able to talk to someone who has gone through the HCMC process before.

My friend is not on this website, but I handled all of his paperwork due to his limited English. Feel free to ask questions and I'll reply the best I can.

Good decision, to postpone your petition until after you've had the engagement party. Take plenty of pictures, esp. with elder members of her family. The consular officers have this time-warp mentality that Vietnamese brides (or brides-to-be) have to have the blessing of the entire family before they can marry or get engaged... So you got to play the game.

[JRF 117]

Best of luck - good decision to delay until you have the Dam Hoi. It doesn't help you to hear about how long others have had to wait; trust me it goes by...quickly some days slowly on others, and for both Visa and VN cultural reasons you will be better off if you follow tradition and have an engagement party. My opinion anyways. As others have said save every piece of paper, take as many pictures as you can, and take advantage of an engagement period to be sure your relationship with Thu is as solid as it can be prior to her moving here and going thru that transition.

Chuc mung tram nam hanh phuc!

[ConGau1981 56]

sometimes you have to jump in with both feet !!! I don't know what will happen in your future but I think the rewards outweigh the risk.....and if I ever get to Dallas I will want my free drink

[ScottThuy 140]

Marriage is not something that one should jump in with both feet without checking to see how deep the water is... The two cultures are very different and all too often the expectations of both parties are not realistic or understood fully by the other.

[pieroot 43]

I think it's wise for you guys to wait until after the dam hoi to file, that way you'll have two trips as supporting evidence. Good luck and best wishes to you guys!

[Banh Xeo 0]

Marriage is not something that one should jump in with both feet without checking to see how deep the water is... The two cultures are very different and all too often the expectations of both parties are not realistic or understood fully by the other.

LOVE will conquer anything! Don't worry! If she loves you, or anything else, she'll know what to do and does whatever it takes to achieve her goal!

[Banh Xeo 0]

Banh, thank you for your attention and care. You are right, I do have my mind made up. I understand that a lot of people have been "had" in situations like this, but I know that she is not like that. She is generous and kind, I've had the opportunity to watch her interact with people in many different situations. She treats everyone with such care it obvious she has a very big heart. She never asked me to send her or her family money.(I have sent her money and kept the reciepts) If you had the opportunity to know her the way I do you would be as convinced as I am about her. I promise I will invite you to our 5 year anniversary.

Update for everyone who posted here or reads this later:

As much as it breaks my heart to delay at all, we have decided to wait to file the K1 petition. I am going back to Vietnam for 2 weeks, I am going to give her the real proposal she deserves and we're going to have our Dam Hoi (bonus, it sounds like my dad is going to come with) and submit our petition after I return to the US. I feel like this will give us a much better chance our interview.

I would still love to get any more advice and comments here or pm's from anyone.

......................and only a few posts earlier, you "confidently" said you would proceed filing the petition in response to my post. Are you sure your decision is FINAL this time?

As I said, Slow down, take a deep breath, and THINK about it!

It's AWALYS a lot easier to sign the marriage certificate than the divorce decree! (and cheaper too). Sadly because of this fact, a lot of ppl tend to sign the first one without carefully considering the associated cost of the later one.

Edited June 11, 2013 by Banh Xeo