Getting a divorce while on conditional Green card, what are my rights?

[Christi85 86]

I might be wrong but maybe she meant karats. In any case, the margin paid for a 14,000 ring is high, you would be very lucky if you get a 3rd of that, and selling it fo rthe gold content would be even worst of a deal.

This is probably so, but even if she only got $2-3K for it (which would be a rip off if the ring is really worth $12-14K), she would still have more than enough to fly back home one way, and she would still be left with a handsome amount of play money to save or spend or take home with her.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Agree with Inky and Operator.

If you want to go back to the Philippines, there is surely a way. Here's a few ideas:

1) what Inky said. Get the ring back, sell it, buy a ticket back home, pocket the rest of the amount

2) you're legally allowed to work for another year, until your GC expires. Is it an option to try and find a job, save up for a few months and use your savings to buy a ticket back home?

3) could your family in the Philippines help you at all with purchasing the ticket, or could a friend here in the US lend you the money for it and you can then pay them back over time?

4) provided that you have another way of supporting yourself (e.g. through work), you could get the $350/month that your ex is willing to give you as spousal support, not spend it for 2-3 months, and ta-da, here's the money for your flight back!

5) I wouldn't recommend this one, but you could just let your GC expire, not file for removal of conditions and let the US government put you in deportation proceedings and pay for your flight back. I wouldn't recommend this one though, because a) it could actually take a long time and you would need a way to support yourself in the meantime, plus losing status and becoming illegal would result in you not being able to work anymore or you'd have to work under the table, and b) it would trigger a ban for you for returning to the US, so if you ever wanted to return (even as a tourist) you would have to wait for the ban to be lifted first - and I think that is a 10 year ban. So I wouldn't personally go down that route. But it is an option.

So yes, there are several options on how you could fund a return to the Philippines if this is something you are considering in any seriousness.

Now if you decide to stay in the US, you will have to file ROC by yourself using a divorce waiver and rock solid proof that the marriage was entered in good faith. An interview should be expected, which shouldn't be a big problem if you have good evidence (a lot of people with divorce waivers get approved on a daily basis), and like other people have said, an experienced attorney could be of much help here.

Best of luck!

P.S. I've no idea how this is legally going to work with him living in NY and you living in Cali, but California is automatically a no fault divorce state, meaning any joint assets get divided 50-50 no matter who initiated the divorce and why, and the spouse who makes more income has to pay the other spousal support (unless an agreement is reached where both parties waive the requirement for spousal support). I also don't think the length of marriage has much to do with it. Once you're married, everything is joint property and should you divorce, everything gets divided in half. I think New York may be stricter than California in that respect, so I guess it depends on where the divorce petition is filed.

This is totally wrong.

It's only the assets that were acquired during the marriage that is up for equitable (not always 50/50) division. I doubt they have much acquired in 9 months .

In regards to alimony, "(f) The duration of the marriage." is a factor. http://www.cadivorce.com/california-divorce-guide/spousal-support/how-spousal-support-is-decided-in-california/

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Okay so you're asking about 2 things:

1. Spousal support

2. Immigration status.

In regards to #1, you've only really been married for a short period. You MIGHT be awarded spousal support but you've been living out of the home since November 2012 (6+ months ago) and moved out of state. This would indicate that you don't need the support. It could still be awarded, its up to the judge. If it IS awarded, it's doubtful it will be $1K a month (depends on his income and the state laws on it), and even then usually it's only for a set period. So you might get money (honestly I don't think it's likely, but it's possible) for a year or less, but that would be it.

Share of assets also depends on the Judge. Honestly only a divorce lawyer can answer those questions as it relates to your state.

Re #2. Once your divorce is final (or in the 90 day period, whichever is first) you need to file for Removal of Conditions. You will need evidence of relationship such as joint bills, things showing joint address, joint bank accounts, joint health/vehicle insurance... things like that. He does NOT need to sign an Affidavit but if he will that's a good thing, it doesn't overcome needing the other things though.

You could accept payment of a one-way flight back to your home country in lieu of any other sort of settlement if returning to your home country is really what you want. Flights back there aren't really that expensive when you consider how much living in CA is. If you're only earning $1K a month, how are you paying your apartment etc? Are you staying with friends/family? You'd be able to pay for your flight if they'd let you not pay rent for a month...

Honestly I think you want to stay in the US, which is your right, but he doesn't HAVE to support you unless a Judge orders it, he doesn't HAVE to pay for your flight back to your country, he doesn't HAVE to sign an affidavit about your marriage (it's not a requirement anyway). So, if you want to stay, stay. But bear in mind that you may not get anything from the divorce, and if you do it probably won't be a lot due to the length of the marriage.

I also suggest, as others did, that you try contacting agencies about getting free legal advice to help you with the divorce.

[Christi85 86]

Gowon - you're right, I should have clarified better. Yes, it goes without saying that this is true for the assets acquired post marriage. While 9 months is a really short time, that's true, there are assets that could have been acquired in that short time, such as a car for example or sometimes even a home.

As for the duration of the marriage, it seems like it is one of the factors for calculating any spousal support owed from one spouse to the other based on the link you posted, however it's only one of many, as the post indicates. And you see all those celebs getting divorces every day in Cali with marriages much shorter than that of the OP and still fight lengthy court battles etc. so you never know how it could end up.

Finally, remember that we are all a community in here, with our main purpose being to help each other without claiming to be experts. If one member says something that isn't 100% clear, then another member can jump in and clarify and that's the great asset of having this forum. Keeping it polite to each other while doing so (as in, not quoting a whole post and branding it "totally wrong" just for one line that you wish to add a clarification to), always pays . Case closed. Not looking to get into a fight, just saying.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Agree with Inky and Operator.

If you want to go back to the Philippines, there is surely a way. Here's a few ideas:

1) what Inky said. Get the ring back, sell it, buy a ticket back home, pocket the rest of the amount

2) you're legally allowed to work for another year, until your GC expires. Is it an option to try and find a job, save up for a few months and use your savings to buy a ticket back home?

3) could your family in the Philippines help you at all with purchasing the ticket, or could a friend here in the US lend you the money for it and you can then pay them back over time?

4) provided that you have another way of supporting yourself (e.g. through work), you could get the $350/month that your ex is willing to give you as spousal support, not spend it for 2-3 months, and ta-da, here's the money for your flight back!

5) I wouldn't recommend this one, but you could just let your GC expire, not file for removal of conditions and let the US government put you in deportation proceedings and pay for your flight back. I wouldn't recommend this one though, because a) it could actually take a long time and you would need a way to support yourself in the meantime, plus losing status and becoming illegal would result in you not being able to work anymore or you'd have to work under the table, and b) it would trigger a ban for you for returning to the US, so if you ever wanted to return (even as a tourist) you would have to wait for the ban to be lifted first - and I think that is a 10 year ban. So I wouldn't personally go down that route. But it is an option.

So yes, there are several options on how you could fund a return to the Philippines if this is something you are considering in any seriousness.

Now if you decide to stay in the US, you will have to file ROC by yourself using a divorce waiver and rock solid proof that the marriage was entered in good faith. An interview should be expected, which shouldn't be a big problem if you have good evidence (a lot of people with divorce waivers get approved on a daily basis), and like other people have said, an experienced attorney could be of much help here.

Best of luck!

P.S. I've no idea how this is legally going to work with him living in NY and you living in Cali, but California is automatically a no fault divorce state, meaning any joint assets get divided 50-50 no matter who initiated the divorce and why, and the spouse who makes more income has to pay the other spousal support (unless an agreement is reached where both parties waive the requirement for spousal support). I also don't think the length of marriage has much to do with it. Once you're married, everything is joint property and should you divorce, everything gets divided in half. I think New York may be stricter than California in that respect, so I guess it depends on where the divorce petition is filed.

The petition will be filed in NY. She is a Filipina and if she wants to have her divorce recognised in her home country the USC needs to file. He is a resident of NY so that's why it'll be filed there.

Length of marriage most definitely matters. 50/50 distribution tends to only apply to assets acquired DURING the marriage, spousal support is a state by state thing and depends on several factors. That she hasn't filed any paperwork for it, and they've been separated for 6 months without him needing to pay her anything... that's a negative in her column (as obviously she has some means of support).

[bomberman 0]

You can remove conditions on your own if you can prove that you entered the marriage in good faith. IMHO, you won't have this proof for being married for less than a year but I hope that I am wrong.

You can file in California but you need to establish residency here first, especially since this is a small fry divorce for such a short period,

Now that we've got that out of the way let's get to the nitty gritty.

I would think establishing yourself fist would be a priority and not looking for a suitable place of abode for you and a Dog.

Also, if you have money to fly to California why couldn't you fly back home instead?

Finally, why do you think that he owes you spousal support? You were married for less than a year. It's one thing if he feels like being righteous if you're playing ball but to demand a certain amount seems unreasonably greedy.

I am skeptical but I still wish you good luck on your journey.

PS: Have you appraised the alleged $14k ring?

thank you for replying,

i've lived with my friends in San Jose and Lemoore for 2 weeks each when I moved here in California, hoping that he would do try to get me back with him. but that didn't happen so I applied for a job which i still have now. still looking for a better job.

I flew here with a $400 in my pocket, grateful that i have friends here that helped me survived. I didn't want to move back to the philippines right away because i was hoping that we could still work things out. but he thinks that we have one too many issues that our marriage is never gonna work out. that's when i told him to just buy me ticket to the Philippines but he says no.

I am actually saving up for my fair planning on traveling back home in the Philippines.

but rent and bills and food vs my pay will take me a while...

technically i know that he is responsible for me, he signed papers when he petitioned me. and because he is the one who brought me here,, i moved thousands of miles and mountains with no family around just to be with him but this is what happens.

and also, he asked me for a number which i was not comfortable with, and so i asked him how much he can provide he said he has no idea that's why i came up with that amount.

i left the ring so he would not blame me for his debts, i never asked for a single amount not until now, so saying "greedy" does not really help.

and yes the ring he paid for $14900. told him if he gives it back to me i won't be able to sell it coz it has sentimental value. i'd rather have him keep it.

but with my situation right now, i'm kind of considering it. i haven't appraised it yet since i don't have it with me.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Gowon - you're right, I should have clarified better. Yes, it goes without saying that this is true for the assets acquired post marriage. While 9 months is a really short time, that's true, there are assets that could have been acquired in that short time, such as a car for example or sometimes even a home.

As for the duration of the marriage, it seems like it is one of the factors for calculating any spousal support owed from one spouse to the other based on the link you posted, however it's only one of many, as the post indicates. And you see all those celebs getting divorces every day in Cali with marriages much shorter than that of the OP and still fight lengthy court battles etc. so you never know how it could end up.

Finally, remember that we are all a community in here, with our main purpose being to help each other without claiming to be experts. If one member says something that isn't 100% clear, then another member can jump in and clarify and that's the great asset of having this forum. Keeping it polite to each other while doing so (as in, not quoting a whole post and branding it "totally wrong" just for one line that you wish to add a clarification to), always pays . Case closed. Not looking to get into a fight, just saying.

If it's a home acquired during the marriage then it may only be 50% of the equity in the home. If it's recent purchase there may not be any. Anything acquired during the period she's been gone may not count either as she "abandoned the marriage".

Edited June 7, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[VanessaTony 3,567]

technically i know that he is responsible for me, he signed papers when he petitioned me. and because he is the one who brought me here,, i moved thousands of miles and mountains with no family around just to be with him but this is what happens.

and also, he asked me for a number which i was not comfortable with, and so i asked him how much he can provide he said he has no idea that's why i came up with that amount.

i left the ring so he would not blame me for his debts, i never asked for a single amount not until now, so saying "greedy" does not really help.

and yes the ring he paid for $14900. told him if he gives it back to me i won't be able to sell it coz it has sentimental value. i'd rather have him keep it.

but with my situation right now, i'm kind of considering it. i haven't appraised it yet since i don't have it with me.

The I-864 you're referring to is a contract between him and the US government. If you use federal means-tested benefits then he may be sued to pay them back. If you want spousal support based on the I-864 you'd have to sue on it, and hope a Judge will recognise it, which many (not all, but many) won't because you're not a party to the contract.

[bomberman 0]

He only owes you whatever the family court says he owes you, which given your short marriage, likely won't be anything. You moved out, by your choice, to the other side of the country. Worry about obtaining proof of marriage, copies of joint bills, leases, having each other on your insurance, and such.

I read about spousal support and yes you are right, family court will decide on wether i am entitled to that or not and how much. I suggested to go to a family court so it will be fair, but he'd rather not to go there. so we were just talking about it.

I moved out for reasons, I didn't want to but I felt the need of moving out. I was so close to being so depressed.

He's a good guy but his temper is getting out of the way... verbal abuse and he got physical but never felt sorry bout it. so yes, I moved out by choice and i have reasons.. we are good now and talking,,

i just really want guidance in terms of legality of my status and rights.

he still have me covered under his insurance and actually that's his concern that if we get divorced i won't have insurance anymore and that bothers him. (just because if something happens to me, he would be responsible)

we have no joint bills, leases or car together just the insurance..

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Gowon - you're right, I should have clarified better. Yes, it goes without saying that this is true for the assets acquired post marriage. While 9 months is a really short time, that's true, there are assets that could have been acquired in that short time, such as a car for example or sometimes even a home.

As for the duration of the marriage, it seems like it is one of the factors for calculating any spousal support owed from one spouse to the other based on the link you posted, however it's only one of many, as the post indicates. And you see all those celebs getting divorces every day in Cali with marriages much shorter than that of the OP and still fight lengthy court battles etc. so you never know how it could end up.

Finally, remember that we are all a community in here, with our main purpose being to help each other without claiming to be experts. If one member says something that isn't 100% clear, then another member can jump in and clarify and that's the great asset of having this forum. Keeping it polite to each other while doing so (as in, not quoting a whole post and branding it "totally wrong" just for one line that you wish to add a clarification to), always pays . Case closed. Not looking to get into a fight, just saying.

OP and her Husband are not Celebs (if they were she would have a high roller Lawyer already and won't be on VJ), we need to ensure that we are giving sensible advices on here. And if we get called on an unsound opinion we need to be generous, learn and move on.

If you're going to respond to a critical issue then do it with the careful detail. Much rides on it.

Building up the OP with outlandish and untrue statistics won't help her. She needs realistic opinions.

thank you for replying,

i've lived with my friends in San Jose and Lemoore for 2 weeks each when I moved here in California, hoping that he would do try to get me back with him. but that didn't happen so I applied for a job which i still have now. still looking for a better job.

I flew here with a $400 in my pocket, grateful that i have friends here that helped me survived. I didn't want to move back to the philippines right away because i was hoping that we could still work things out. but he thinks that we have one too many issues that our marriage is never gonna work out. that's when i told him to just buy me ticket to the Philippines but he says no.

I am actually saving up for my fair planning on traveling back home in the Philippines.

but rent and bills and food vs my pay will take me a while...

technically i know that he is responsible for me, he signed papers when he petitioned me. and because he is the one who brought me here,, i moved thousands of miles and mountains with no family around just to be with him but this is what happens.

and also, he asked me for a number which i was not comfortable with, and so i asked him how much he can provide he said he has no idea that's why i came up with that amount.

i left the ring so he would not blame me for his debts, i never asked for a single amount not until now, so saying "greedy" does not really help.

and yes the ring he paid for $14900. told him if he gives it back to me i won't be able to sell it coz it has sentimental value. i'd rather have him keep it.

but with my situation right now, i'm kind of considering it. i haven't appraised it yet since i don't have it with me.

Apologies for saying greedy in this context, we could argue this but you have a lot more important things on your plate. He's only responsible for you if you're together. Once you abandoned the matrimonial hoem then all bets are off and I salute the position that he has taken.

Madam, he didn't bring you here. You as a couple decided that you will move to the US. He signed papers with the US government that he will pay them back shoudl you go on a means tested benefits. He never promised contractually to take cre of you. As a Husband I am sure he would take care of you (in his way as an exampel the $14k ring) but not sure he should be mandated to continue this care. He coudl do it based on your realtionship but you abandoned the home. To me moving clear accross the country 8 months after you arrived on new shores is a major step.

If it's a home acquired during the marriage then it will only be 50% of the equity in the home. If it's recent purchase there may not be any. Anything acquired during the period she's been gone may not count either as she "abandoned the marriage".

Never 50%.

The Husband deducts either the principal or maybe it's the interest he has been paying on the mortgage if any, any upkeep on the house, etc and then they get to divide the equite (which by the way can be negative). I simply do not see hwo any equity can be there in 9 months of marriage for thsi couple. They are already indebted for just the wedding ring.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Gowon

[bomberman 0]

He bought you a $14,000 engagement ring.....Is that the reason he is in debt?

I would think that that's one of the reasons, and also he just recently flew to Asia and stayed for 2 weeks there..

[Christi85 86]

thank you for replying,

i've lived with my friends in San Jose and Lemoore for 2 weeks each when I moved here in California, hoping that he would do try to get me back with him. but that didn't happen so I applied for a job which i still have now. still looking for a better job.

I flew here with a $400 in my pocket, grateful that i have friends here that helped me survived. I didn't want to move back to the philippines right away because i was hoping that we could still work things out. but he thinks that we have one too many issues that our marriage is never gonna work out. that's when i told him to just buy me ticket to the Philippines but he says no.

I am actually saving up for my fair planning on traveling back home in the Philippines.

but rent and bills and food vs my pay will take me a while...

technically i know that he is responsible for me, he signed papers when he petitioned me. and because he is the one who brought me here,, i moved thousands of miles and mountains with no family around just to be with him but this is what happens.

and also, he asked me for a number which i was not comfortable with, and so i asked him how much he can provide he said he has no idea that's why i came up with that amount.

i left the ring so he would not blame me for his debts, i never asked for a single amount not until now, so saying "greedy" does not really help.

and yes the ring he paid for $14900. told him if he gives it back to me i won't be able to sell it coz it has sentimental value. i'd rather have him keep it.

but with my situation right now, i'm kind of considering it. i haven't appraised it yet since i don't have it with me.

The only objection I have with what you are saying is that you seem to have left him (for the reasons you explained, I won't argue those), moved to another state and hoped that he would try and bring you back regardless. If it was not 100% over for you and you were hoping for a reconciliation, you should have at least stayed in NY even if you had moved out of your common residence. On the other hand, if he was so ill tempered as you described him to be, then I don't know why you would think that he would change. Leaving someone with the hope that he will then run to take you back is always a gamble. Sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn't. In your case it didn't. And even if it had, I doubt he would have changed anyway.

Yes, he has signed the affidavit of support for you, and that's been used in divorce cases before as a means of forcing the other spouse to pay alimony, but the primary purpose of that affidavit is him promising the government that he will pay them back should you - the immigrant - make use of any means tested benefits while still a LPR (technically you are not supposed to, but it's happened before). It's not necessarily a financial commitment towards you, although being spouses, it is kind of expected that he will support you financially while married.

Otherwise you seem to be moving in the right direction with your life - finding a job, saving up for a flight back home etc. I'm sure you'll manage in the end and you'll be fine.

[bomberman 0]

This is totally wrong.

It's only the assets that were acquired during the marriage that is up for equitable (not always 50/50) division. I doubt they have much acquired in 9 months .

In regards to alimony, "(f) The duration of the marriage." is a factor. http://www.cadivorce.com/california-divorce-guide/spousal-support/how-spousal-support-is-decided-in-california/

the divorce is being filed in NY

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

the divorce is being filed in NY

Why NY?

She can also file herself in California after meeting the residency.

PS: Young Lady, a piece of advice. The person that files first controls the divorce proceedings.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Gowon

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Never 50%.

The Husband deducts either the principal or maybe it's the interest he has been paying on the mortgage if any, any upkeep on the house, etc and then they get to divide the equite (which by the way can be negative). I simply do not see hwo any equity can be there in 9 months of marriage for thsi couple. They are already indebted for just the wedding ring.

I said 50% of the equity, then you went on to explain what I said... is that why you quoted me?

Equity in the home is the difference between mortgage and value of the house. My husband and I for example own a home. We've only owned it for 2 1/2 years. Lets say we bought it for $100K. If the house is now valued at $120K and my mortgage is down to $95K then the equity (difference) is $25K which could be (but isn't always) split 50/50. The opposite is true as well.

As with making money, houses sometimes depreciate (are worth less) than what you paid. So the mortgage might be for $100K but the house is now worth $90K, that means there is no money to split, and in fact, if the house were sold to split the value of the house, then both parties get a DEBT of the difference between sale price and money owed on the house.

Regardless, the OP needs to be aware that if she wants to share assets, she could share debts as well. So if he still owes $10K on the ring, SHE could owe $5K for the ring. Same with credit card debt and any other debt.

In any event, the OP doesn't mention a house or any other major assets so this is purely conjecture and so .

OP - your rights in the divorce are the same as anyone else. You MIGHT be awarded money, you could end up with debts.

Immigration wise you're here legally at present. Once your divorce is final you are in breach of the conditions of your GC and are technically deportable (though most likely you would be ordered to ROC immediately).

So try and speak with an attorney, there are free places around.

GOOD LUCK!

Why NY?

She can also file herself in California after meeting the residency.

Because she's a Filipina. SHE cannot file, the USC has to if she wants her divorce recognised in her home country - otherwise she can never remarry and have it recognised in her home country or she'd be considered a bigamist.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony