muslim marriage tips

[Bosco 1]

hehe i'm a dumb butt...i saw what you bolded...sorry .. now I have to go read it ...again sorry

You are not a dumb butt and no apologies are necessary between us.

[~Jackie~ 30]

so so literal,,i meant that my only point of reference was from that point of view. I adore the people of Jordan, don't try to make it sound like I don't.

Jackie

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I have communication with many woman that have Jordanian husbands. Some are wives of Mohammed's friends. Some are women I have met online from around the country from other sites. Since some of these friendships are now more than 4 years old, I have seen the outcome of what happens after the SO comes over. More often than not, the wife that steadfastdly swears that nothing will change, finds out in sometimes a bittersweet way that life isn't what she thought it was. I was speaking from the experience of seeing these marriages either fail or succeed. I now know that I could have worded it differently. No one usually takes heed to what I type anyway, this really caught me be suprise.

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I think I'm confused about what's happened here, but I'm not sure.

Oh, well.

[jordanianprincess 0]

so so literal,,i meant that my only point of reference was from that point of view. I adore the people of Jordan, don't try to make it sound like I don't.

Jackie

I am not making it sound like you don't like the people of Jordan, but what you are describing and your reference to only Jordanian couples is not true. If you saw marriages crumble because a woman didn't cook and clean then it wasn't because of that even if they tried to use that as the reason. In general, there are plenty of things a Jordanian man will insist on with his wife but cooking and cleaning is not even on that list and marriage is also taken very seriously there more so than other arab countries. A man with good intentions would not leave for that reason.

[amal 4]

ok, i re-read the post (with the bolded part) and please kick me for missing it the first time (we all aren't perfect as i so nicely just proved) lol

I agree that I shouldn't have tried to explain anybodies actions and some people may have definitely thought that what I was saying was not the same as her. Even so, I was bent on getting everybody to see what I saw that I couldn't stop. I just KNEW that everybody would see my point. Jackie is a good friend to me and that is also another reason I felt I could speak on her behalf. I know that she is not as weak as everybody made her out to be and it just ruffled me to think that ppl saw her in a bad way. I did want to defend her coz she is one of the strongest ppl I know and I felt she deserved to have someone stand up for her. I always try to help my friends. I tried to help her and I would try to help any one of you if I felt I fully understood what you were saying...YES ANY ONE OF YOU... My biggest problem is that I get on an tangent and ramble till my fingers turn blue...I have got to learn to stop rambling like I do ...but as I have said before, it is just how I am..

I understand that the tone being used can not be conveyed accurately here so I do not take anything you say to be snotty as I hope you take my words in an easy tone as well.

amal

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think I'm confused about what's happened here, but I'm not sure.

Oh, well.

Ask and we shall explain.

[peezey 0]

I have communication with many woman that have Jordanian husbands. Some are wives of Mohammed's friends. Some are women I have met online from around the country from other sites. Since some of these friendships are now more than 4 years old, I have seen the outcome of what happens after the SO comes over. More often than not, the wife that steadfastdly swears that nothing will change, finds out in sometimes a bittersweet way that life isn't what she thought it was. I was speaking from the experience of seeing these marriages either fail or succeed. I now know that I could have worded it differently. No one usually takes heed to what I type anyway, this really caught me be suprise.

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

You've seen muslim husbands leave after the 2 year or 10 year card because the wife didn't meet his expectations inre housekeeping & cooking?

Edited November 28, 2006 by peezey

[jordanianprincess 0]

ok, i re-read the post (with the bolded part) and please kick me for missing it the first time (we all aren't perfect as i so nicely just proved) lol

I agree that I shouldn't have tried to explain anybodies actions and some people may have definitely thought that what I was saying was not the same as her. Even so, I was bent on getting everybody to see what I saw that I couldn't stop. I just KNEW that everybody would see my point. Jackie is a good friend to me and that is also another reason I felt I could speak on her behalf. I know that she is not as weak as everybody made her out to be and it just ruffled me to think that ppl saw her in a bad way. I did want to defend her coz she is one of the strongest ppl I know and I felt she deserved to have someone stand up for her. I always try to help my friends. I tried to help her and I would try to help any one of you if I felt I fully understood what you were saying...YES ANY ONE OF YOU... My biggest problem is that I get on an tangent and ramble till my fingers turn blue...I have got to learn to stop rambling like I do ...but as I have said before, it is just how I am..

I understand that the tone being used can not be conveyed accurately here so I do not take anything you say to be snotty as I hope you take my words in an easy tone as well.

amal

Oh Amal you know we love you...now stop rambling and apologizing and have some of these...

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I have communication with many woman that have Jordanian husbands. Some are wives of Mohammed's friends. Some are women I have met online from around the country from other sites. Since some of these friendships are now more than 4 years old, I have seen the outcome of what happens after the SO comes over. More often than not, the wife that steadfastdly swears that nothing will change, finds out in sometimes a bittersweet way that life isn't what she thought it was. I was speaking from the experience of seeing these marriages either fail or succeed. I now know that I could have worded it differently. No one usually takes heed to what I type anyway, this really caught me be suprise.

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

You've seen muslim husbands leave after the 2 year or 10 year card because the wife didn't meet his expectations inre housekeeping & cooking?

It's a bit more complex than that. Not everything comes across clearly in a message board posting, and it's obvious to me that there are a lot of underlying issues in these relationships and it can't be boiled down to whatever it's been made out to be in these last 20 pages of thread.

But then again, I'm just a kid in my first apartment, so what do I know?

[Bosco 1]

I have communication with many woman that have Jordanian husbands. Some are wives of Mohammed's friends. Some are women I have met online from around the country from other sites. Since some of these friendships are now more than 4 years old, I have seen the outcome of what happens after the SO comes over. More often than not, the wife that steadfastdly swears that nothing will change, finds out in sometimes a bittersweet way that life isn't what she thought it was. I was speaking from the experience of seeing these marriages either fail or succeed. I now know that I could have worded it differently. No one usually takes heed to what I type anyway, this really caught me be suprise.

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

You've seen muslim husbands leave after the 2 year or 10 year card because the wife didn't meet his expectations inre housekeeping & cooking?

I think this goes back to something Jenn and I brought up earlier. Everyone has conceded that there can be changes when they arrive, when you first move in together, etc. --- the normal growing pains. The difference between this and the post that triggered this discussion and why this conversation has carried on, is that the changes were tied to a 10-year green card and be able to leave his wife and remain in the country.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I have communication with many woman that have Jordanian husbands. Some are wives of Mohammed's friends. Some are women I have met online from around the country from other sites. Since some of these friendships are now more than 4 years old, I have seen the outcome of what happens after the SO comes over. More often than not, the wife that steadfastdly swears that nothing will change, finds out in sometimes a bittersweet way that life isn't what she thought it was. I was speaking from the experience of seeing these marriages either fail or succeed. I now know that I could have worded it differently. No one usually takes heed to what I type anyway, this really caught me be suprise.

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

You've seen muslim husbands leave after the 2 year or 10 year card because the wife didn't meet his expectations inre housekeeping & cooking?

It's a bit more complex than that. Not everything comes across clearly in a message board posting, and it's obvious to me that there are a lot of underlying issues in these relationships and it can't be boiled down to whatever it's been made out to be in these last 20 pages of thread.

But then again, I'm just a kid in my first apartment, so what do I know?

You obvlously know alot more than you think!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

A cousin and I belonged to a few of those groups for a while. It was a strange experience, to say the least. I'm curious about people's experiences in them. Maybe I'll start a thread to ask about them.

Edited November 28, 2006 by szsz

[aussiewench 9]

so so literal,,i meant that my only point of reference was from that point of view. I adore the people of Jordan, don't try to make it sound like I don't.

Jackie

I am not making it sound like you don't like the people of Jordan, but what you are describing and your reference to only Jordanian couples is not true. If you saw marriages crumble because a woman didn't cook and clean then it wasn't because of that even if they tried to use that as the reason. In general, there are plenty of things a Jordanian man will insist on with his wife but cooking and cleaning is not even on that list and marriage is also taken very seriously there more so than other arab countries. A man with good intentions would not leave for that reason.

If it is only Jordanian men/couples that she can reference to having knowledge of, what else would you have her reference jmagayreh' never once said all jordanian men, only the ones she had knowledge of via the contacts she has made.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Having been involved in several online groups for american women with muslim husbands for the past 4 years, I've seen this happen quite often as well, with husbands from across the muslim world. I understand where you're coming from

A cousin and I belonged to a few of those groups for a while. It was a strange experience, to say the least. I'm curious about people's experiemces in them. Maybe I'll start a thread to ask about them.

It's actually been quite fascinating, and a little sad. There's one that was active 3 years ago, then went dormant and suddenly sprung to life again a few months back with many of the old regulars announcing their divorces.

Thankfully, there are a few old hats around who have been married to Egyptian men for 20+ years, so there is a glimmer of hope for us yet! inshaAllah my husband and I will be one of those couples in 17 years!

Edited November 28, 2006 by rahma