muslim marriage tips

[sarah and hicham 3]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

but then she added, right around the time he might leave his wife........... so these things should be stressed when he gets his greencard so that he will change his mind and stick around.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

[peezey 0]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

If Jackie meant that, then why did she include in many posts that NOT doing these things for your man might effect the outcome of a marriage come the 2-year or 10-year time point? No one is debating doing nice things for your SO.

[Jenn! 918]

where is the redundant police?

Sigh. Not redundant.

You just didn't get it. I did not go back and do a background check on every poster in this thread. But I would guess that *either* "everyone" *or* (not and!) "almost everyone" who posted in this thread is married or previously married. The alternative, as LB suggested, is that a significant number of posters in this thread are not yet married.

[sarachid 0]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

everyone or almost everyone.......that just about covers......everyone!

everyone or almost everyone, that has or almost has posted here, may or maynot, have or have not, been married or not married, engaged or not engaged has or have not posted here...

how is that charles???

[doodlebug 3]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

moody!!!!

add to your list for Mohammed:

1) clean inside and outside of car

2) make sure moody's tank is filled (no comments from the peanut gallery there charles )

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

everyone or almost everyone.......that just about covers......everyone!

everyone or almost everyone, that has or almost has posted here, may or maynot, have or have not, been married or not married, engaged or not engaged has or have not posted here...

how is that charles???

you work in a law office?

[doodlebug 3]

I seriously think it's time to bury the dead horse.

the horse just kicked, it's baaaaaaaack.

Just curious....why?

[sarachid 0]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

If Jackie meant that, then why did she include in many posts that NOT doing these things for your man might effect the outcome of a marriage come the 2-year or 10-year time point? No one is debating doing nice things for your SO.

that's true... however what if before it was discussed what was expected from both persons and one person has not been keeping up with there expected part...and then close to the time that the time was expiring then the person realized they have not been keeping up with there part. Therefore they might just start doing what they discussed plus more to make up .... hehehe what do you think?

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

everyone or almost everyone.......that just about covers......everyone!

everyone or almost everyone, that has or almost has posted here, may or maynot, have or have not, been married or not married, engaged or not engaged has or have not posted here...

how is that charles???

you work in a law office?

no but that might be the only place I have never worked..

[Caladan 19]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

I think Jackie said what she meant. She pretty clearly tied it to the removal of conditions on the green card. It's in the neighborhood of some 'let's all make adjustments when we marry and be super nice and happy' sentiments that are unobjectionable, but it's not the same thing.

Of course I do nice things for C., and he does nice things for me. We are in love, and both of us care about each other, and are adults. But if we get to the point where I'm thinking, gee, he's going to leave me UNLESS I MAKE LASAGNA, I think something much more fundamental in our relationship would be broken. My lasagna's pretty damn good, but there's limits to its power.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Amal - Jackie's post was quite clear. Also, the way you describe your marriage has nothing to do with the so called rules that have been posted. There has been no train wreck or belittling. If someone makes a post, comment, statement then they should be prepared to back it up, very simple. I also wanted to point out that this topic pretty much died yesterday and you revived it today which is were it started to become a so called train wreck.

LB - I may not be married right now, but I was married for 4 years so I do know what marriage is. No one is saying that a woman shouldn't cook or clean. What we are saying is it should not be a condition of the marriage. Would Ali leave you if you didn't cook and clean? I will most definitly do these things in my home, but not because I'm scared my husband will leave me.

Charles - You have done quite a bit of instigating in this thread without adding anything of value. I don't think you realize that your comments fuel the fire. There is no reason for you to defend one member or another, we are all grown and can handle it ourselves.

Everyone else, seriously this is getting old. Every disagreement is labled as a train wreck. I don't see any personal attacks here. I don't see name calling. I don't understand why people have to make a big thing out of nothing. If people want to discuss this topic then thats all it is, a discussion not a train wreck. If you don't want to participate then don't read, why is that so hard to comprehend?

[sarachid 0]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

moody!!!!

add to your list for Mohammed:

1) clean inside and outside of car

2) make sure moody's tank is filled (no comments from the peanut gallery there charles )

I put that example because that is on my list... pretty good huh

[Bosco 1]

that's true... however what if before it was discussed what was expected from both persons and one person has not been keeping up with there expected part...and then close to the time that the time was expiring then the person realized they have not been keeping up with there part. Therefore they might just start doing what they discussed plus more to make up .... hehehe what do you think?

I think this sounds just as bad. It indicates that the wife felt she could slack for 2+ years because he was dependent on her to stay here and only felt she needed to act like the wife she should have been all along once he can leave.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yes!! More good ideas. They ARE "outside" activities.

Oh he will make sure my tank is filled in more ways than one

Was that the peanut gallery response you were hoping for?

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

moody!!!!

add to your list for Mohammed:

1) clean inside and outside of car

2) make sure moody's tank is filled (no comments from the peanut gallery there charles )

[peezey 0]

that's true... however what if before it was discussed what was expected from both persons and one person has not been keeping up with there expected part...and then close to the time that the time was expiring then the person realized they have not been keeping up with there part. Therefore they might just start doing what they discussed plus more to make up .... hehehe what do you think?

I think that's sick.

He can take his as$ back to where he came from if that's the kind of man he is.