muslim marriage tips

[sarah and hicham 3]

Some people are debating on here and are not even married yet.

I don't think there is a difference between Muslim and Christian marriages but what I do think there is a difference between engaged (and apart) and married (and together).

When I was engaged I could so say things like "He loves me and that's all that matters. He won't care if I cook or clean or whatever" and spend all night fighting with you guys over it. I seriously believed it.

Well now that we are married if I don't do my part : cook, clean, bills, homework, my part time job, and etc. If he doesn't do his part : work full time, english school, clean outside, deal with trash, deal with our two cars, fix anyting in the house, clean the tile once a week, and etc. The other party gets a little irritated.

When Ali goes to work all day and comes home and does not find dinner he is supposed to say "It's okay honey I love you and that's all that matters" Ugggggh no. You guys are living in a dream.

He says "How come there's nothing to eat ? " So I say "Oh I was busy blah blah blah" and he says "Well let's come up with something I'm hungry". He doesn't get mad ... but if I didn't cook everyday yes there would be problems in our marriage.

This is a thread for people already married ... not engaged people cuz you guys hardly know what it's like to be married (unless of course you have already been married).

There is nothing ancient about cooking and cleaning for your family. I go to school full time, work part time, and am still able to cook and clean my house. I am PG and my husband helps out .. but he does not let it slide for me to not do anything and say I am "modern".

I'm sorry to quote you again LB but the "irritated" paragraph (3rd paragraph) and the 5th paragraph are what I think Jackie was talkin about. and yeah before the 10 year card. Maybe this is when she realized the truths to these paragraphs but it is what she was talking about just the same. She was saying...it is when the realization came to her that some things needed to change. She wasn't saying that all ppl would or should feel the same way but she was only talking about how she felt at the 10 year card mark. She just put it too bluntly and even I had to think about it and talk with her about it to get the correct understanding of what she meant.

We are leaving the house for a while today (we are both off together!! yayyyyyy!!!) so I appoint the next poster to keep the peace while I'm away and they should appoint the next poster to sign the peace keeping treaty

(yes i'm kidding)

amal

Amal, I'm sorry to say this but I think you should stop trying to rephrase what Jackie said 100 times to change the meaning. I think we know what she meant and it's too late to change it. I don't quite understand why you keep trying to explain to us what jackie meant as if we're too stupid to see the real meaning. It was pretty clear and I don't think there is any hidden meaning. Thanks,

Sarah

[ya falaha! 0]

I seriously think it's time to bury the dead horse.

[mybackpages 0]

Note to self: Be sure to include every bit of personal information about your life and experience to show you have the proper creditials to post an opinion.

[Caladan 19]

I may not be married, but my reading comprehension's pretty good. I don't see where anyone said 'I do not have to adjust my life because I am a MODERN WOMAN and I will never clean!'

I did see a lot of people thinking that maybe, just maybe, there's more than one way to divide chores that a couple could agree on, without it impugning anyone's fitness as a wife. And that more importantly, if the guy is hellbent on using you for a green card, he's likely not going to change his mind just because you make him a mean three-cheese omelette.

And I think it puts too much weight on the poor woman to say, "Yes, he came here to use you as his 'work papers', but sweetie, if the marriage fails, it's your fault because you weren't a good enough cook/submissive enough wife/thin enough/pretty enough/pious enough.'

[sarah and hicham 3]

I may not be married, but my reading comprehension's pretty good. I don't see where anyone said 'I do not have to adjust my life because I am a MODERN WOMAN and I will never clean!'

I did see a lot of people thinking that maybe, just maybe, there's more than one way to divide chores that a couple could agree on, without it impugning anyone's fitness as a wife. And that more importantly, if the guy is hellbent on using you for a green card, he's likely not going to change his mind just because you make him a mean three-cheese omelette.

And I think it puts too much weight on the poor woman to say, "Yes, he came here to use you as his 'work papers', but sweetie, if the marriage fails, it's your fault because you weren't a good enough cook/submissive enough wife/thin enough/pretty enough/pious enough.'

gulp. ( )

[CarolineM 0]

And that more importantly, if the guy is hellbent on using you for a green card, he's likely not going to change his mind just because you make him a mean three-cheese omelette.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

I seriously think it's time to bury the dead horse.

i'm digging as fast as i can!

Note to self: Be sure to include every bit of personal information about your life and experience to show you have the proper creditials to post an opinion.

a posting resume perhaps?

[Jenn! 918]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

Edited November 28, 2006 by jenn3539

[sarah and hicham 3]

I seriously think it's time to bury the dead horse.

the horse just kicked, it's baaaaaaaack.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

everyone or almost everyone.......that just about covers......everyone!

[mybackpages 0]

Amal...I think you are doing a good job and here's your hat

Afraid it is a bit small. Hope it fits

[sarachid 0]

ok what if your husband said "wow I love when you make that special food" would you not make it when he was working late that day or had a bad day or was super hungry.... in turn what if you said " wow I love it when I get in my car and the tank is full, the inside and outside is clean, and my favorite scent tree is hanging up" would he not make sure that is done for you? if you do for him what he loves he will do for you what you love?? I think that is what Jackie meant....

[Jenn! 918]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

everyone or almost everyone.......that just about covers......everyone!

I'm not following you. Forget it, it's not important anyway.

Edited November 28, 2006 by jenn3539

[peezey 0]

Note to self: Be sure to include every bit of personal information about your life and experience to show you have the proper creditials to post an opinion.

And then it still might not be enough if you are on the wrong side of any argument. It seems to be the standard generic come back when someone doesn't have anything to say in response to a discussion.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Everyone or almost everyone who has posted in this thread is either married or has been perviously.

Why is that a duh? Apparently she thought that a lot of the posters were still just engaged.

everyone or almost everyone.......that just about covers......everyone!

I'm not following you.

where is the redundant police?