husband is a marijuana user.cant deal with it anymore

[heartbreaking 0]

Hi vj friends, IM a filipina, came here in America with Cr1 visa.been here for almost 2months now. To make my story short.i thought i knew my husband so well but i don't.he start changing when i arrived here and we live together. i couldnt deal his illegal thing like marijuana coz first of all i don't smoke and i don't do illegal things. Finished my BS in Nursing in Philippines but IM not yet a license.since i arrived here,i was never been taking care off by husband coz he is busy growing some pot inside the house and i cannot stand the smell..i never experienced in doing that ####### and never seen those things ever since in my life.just right now when i arrived here in america. I don't really care about green card.i even want to go back home instead but i thought to myself i have a son to support.my husband let me stop working in Singapore coz he wants me here.and now this is all what i got and i believe i don't deserve treated like this..so i planned to stay for awhile till my green card expires coz i need to work so i can support myself and my son who is now in Philippines. Now, i wanted to know.what is my rights here in America? My husband keep telling me everytime we fight "GET OuT OF MY HOUSE!" And he even start packing my things and sometimes he throw my stuff outside the cabinet.i am even now staying in his friends house coz he called them (a couple) to come pick me up.he use to do this everytime we fight and call his parents to inform that IM going to leave him(his the youngest,mamas boy). i know there are times that he was trying his best to please me but no matter what i will never be so happy knowing that i will live my life here in America with full of fears coz my husband is growing a pot inside the house..IM scared if he gets busted IM sure i will be deported. I know he is a pot user before i marry him but he said he will stop as soon as i arrive here but it gets worst coz he dont have a job now.he stopped his previous offshore job coz i am already here and he don't want me living alone in the house. Please help me guys.what should i do? How can i let my husband to support me while IM still staying here in America and start my life(we dont have any kids yet,my son is my child when i was single)? And also we got married in Philippine we don't have a divorse but we do have annualment.he told me he will never help me financially if i do annualment. I cannot stand him anymore..i love him to death but keep treating me this way is painful and IM newHere in America with nobody.place help me guys.

[jhewell 1]

Consult an attorney...thats the best thing you can do right now....even though you dont have money still consult them they will find a way for your husband to pay their fees.... you have your rights one of those is spousal support thats way they ask for affidavit of support from your husband cause he is liable for you... then again consult a family lawyer, and if worst comes to worst you can always dial 911 for help.... God bless..

[himher 634]

Hi vj friends, IM a filipina, came here in America with Cr1 visa.been here for almost 2months now. To make my story short.i thought i knew my husband so well but i don't.he start changing when i arrived here and we live together. i couldnt deal his illegal thing like marijuana coz first of all i don't smoke and i don't do illegal things. Finished my BS in Nursing in Philippines but IM not yet a license.since i arrived here,i was never been taking care off by husband coz he is busy growing some pot inside the house and i cannot stand the smell..i never experienced in doing that ####### and never seen those things ever since in my life.just right now when i arrived here in america. I don't really care about green card.i even want to go back home instead but i thought to myself i have a son to support.my husband let me stop working in Singapore coz he wants me here.and now this is all what i got and i believe i don't deserve treated like this..so i planned to stay for awhile till my green card expires coz i need to work so i can support myself and my son who is now in Philippines. Now, i wanted to know.what is my rights here in America? My husband keep telling me everytime we fight "GET OuT OF MY HOUSE!" And he even start packing my things and sometimes he throw my stuff outside the cabinet.i am even now staying in his friends house coz he called them (a couple) to come pick me up.he use to do this everytime we fight and call his parents to inform that IM going to leave him(his the youngest,mamas boy). i know there are times that he was trying his best to please me but no matter what i will never be so happy knowing that i will live my life here in America with full of fears coz my husband is growing a pot inside the house..IM scared if he gets busted IM sure i will be deported. I know he is a pot user before i marry him but he said he will stop as soon as i arrive here but it gets worst coz he dont have a job now.he stopped his previous offshore job coz i am already here and he don't want me living alone in the house. Please help me guys.what should i do? How can i let my husband to support me while IM still staying here in America and start my life(we dont have any kids yet,my son is my child when i was single)? And also we got married in Philippine we don't have a divorse but we do have annualment.he told me he will never help me financially if i do annualment. I cannot stand him anymore..i love him to death but keep treating me this way is painful and IM newHere in America with nobody.place help me guys.

So you are from Katy, Tx but your local office is Chicago?

[LSnBigBear 61]

Refer back to your CFO pamphlet for name and #'s Keep in mind you have been trained to deal with this so stay calm and think all your actions through prior to making any moves. Consult an immigration Attorney as well.

[Darnell 8,479]

well, the good news out of all of this is that you have a green card already.

divorcing him doesn't change that.

bear that in mind as you are making your plans.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

There are some people that look overseas for a mate because their behavior is so bad no one here will have them. They go over, behave well for a short period , sweep you off your feet and think that you will be helpless to walk away once you arrive. Your husband needs consuling. You both need consuling. He probably won't go. You can divorce in the US , you can stay. He signed an affidavit of support that says he will support you and your child. It is enforcable even if you aren't living in his house. Unless he goes to consuling and his behavior improves you shouldn't live in his house.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

There are some people that look overseas for a mate because their behavior is so bad no one here will have them. They go over, behave well for a short period , sweep you off your feet and think that you will be helpless to walk away once you arrive. Your husband needs consuling. You both need consuling. He probably won't go. You can divorce in the US , you can stay. He signed an affidavit of support that says he will support you and your child. It is enforcable even if you aren't living in his house. Unless he goes to consuling and his behavior improves you shouldn't live in his house.

The child is not in the US so he doesn't have to support the child.

Also the I-864 is a contract between the US government and him. If she obtains benefits he may have to pay it back. There is the line about supporting the immigrant but as she's not a party to the contract this is rarely enforced and she will be required to attempt to sue him for that support.

----

OP - You've been here 2 months. You have a GC. Depending on the length of your marriage you may be entitled to spousal support but it also depends on his income and your state laws.

If you have a 2 year GC then you MUST file for ROC as soon as your divorce is final. You will need to show proof of relationship/co-mingling in order to get ROC approved. You have not been abused, you just married a deadbeat.

He should file for divorce so you can have it recognised in the Philippines otherwise if/when you return to the Philippines you will never be able to marry there.

Edited May 27, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[xgrnberet1 19]

Lesson number 1: There are only 10% of good men (well to do ) in the states or western world , seek their mates from other countries, or one of their own.

Lesson number 2: You will be lucky if you find ones , and if you do, you are very lucky.

Lesson number 3: 90% are the BETA males , 40% of them still living with their parents, 30% have no steady jobs , 20% have no jobs at all

Lesson number 4: 50% have no higher education, 20% have no high school diploma, 20% college dropped out, 10% GED recipients

Lesson number 5: Just because they are from US or other western world, does not mean they are rich and or well to do , they lied out of their azz when they traveled to 3rd world countries.

Lesson number 6: Well to do men do not have more than 3 weeks( or if they lucky, 4 weeks) travel around the world, if they have a full time job.

Lesson number 7: If they need separate affidavit of support to bring you over, they are more likely won't be able to support you while you here.

Final lesson: It's takes two to tango, it's not all his fault , you wanted to come to the US so bad, so overlooked the obvious red flags. He told you these red flags.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

The child is not in the US so he doesn't have to support the child.

Also the I-864 is a contract between the US government and him. If she obtains benefits he may have to pay it back. There is the line about supporting the immigrant but as she's not a party to the contract this is rarely enforced and she will be required to attempt to sue him for that support.

----

OP - You've been here 2 months. You have a GC. Depending on the length of your marriage you may be entitled to spousal support but it also depends on his income and your state laws.

If you have a 2 year GC then you MUST file for ROC as soon as your divorce is final. You will need to show proof of relationship/co-mingling in order to get ROC approved. You have not been abused, you just married a deadbeat.

He should file for divorce so you can have it recognised in the Philippines otherwise if/when you return to the Philippines you will never be able to marry there.

The current I 864 does state that the immigrant may sue you for the support promised by this form. This is new and gives a nood to the right of the immigrant to use the I 864 as a basis of support,

[VanessaTony 3,567]

The current I 864 does state that the immigrant may sue you for the support promised by this form. This is new and gives a nood to the right of the immigrant to use the I 864 as a basis of support,

It's been there for a while but the legal consensus seems to be that because the immigrant is NOT a party to the contract then it isn't binding in the manner it tries to be. By all means people are able to try, but it's a LOT of money involved unless someone gets their divorce judge to award it and even then people could appeal the judge using that as a basis for support, again, because the immigrant isn't a party to the contract and because it's an immigration document, thus outside the jurisdiction of a regular judge.

[Shiobhan 235]

Just wondering...the more I read some of the failed relationship after a few times

is the more I question, who may be wrong, not want to compromise, using the other

for their own gains and lord know what else....some of our men here go to seek passive

women elsewhere and the ladies sometimes know it, but for a way out they make sacrifices,

I am not saying this is the case with OP. however some were virgins, others were in love,

don't know the ways of the world, or cant speak proper English but they grasp the monetary

and immigration angle of things real fast, as to VJ they (some) see it as a learning center.

USC couples do have problems in relationships too, so stuff happens...I however I wish everyone

luck...& want to say if true love lies there think about counseling before financial gains.

[brian@alejandra 20]

Lesson number 1: There are only 10% of good men (well to do ) in the states or western world , seek their mates from other countries, or one of their own.

Lesson number 2: You will be lucky if you find ones , and if you do, you are very lucky.

Lesson number 3: 90% are the BETA males , 40% of them still living with their parents, 30% have no steady jobs , 20% have no jobs at all

Lesson number 4: 50% have no higher education, 20% have no high school diploma, 20% college dropped out, 10% GED recipients

Lesson number 5: Just because they are from US or other western world, does not mean they are rich and or well to do , they lied out of their azz when they traveled to 3rd world countries.

Lesson number 6: Well to do men do not have more than 3 weeks( or if they lucky, 4 weeks) travel around the world, if they have a full time job.

Lesson number 7: If they need separate affidavit of support to bring you over, they are more likely won't be able to support you while you here.

Final lesson: It's takes two to tango, it's not all his fault , you wanted to come to the US so bad, so overlooked the obvious red flags. He told you these red flags.

First and most important, how does any of this help the OP.

Second, she may not have overlooked anything, he may have been that good at lying (we all know people who are)

Third, making up statistics is a juvenile way to get attention

Fourth, the use of azz while taking about others level of education only shows your ignorance.

Lastly, I take your entire post personally offensive, I have no higher education, I am by your standards "well to do", I choose to be with my fiancé because she is exactly what I need in my life, not because I am a "beta male", or live with my parents. I have a full time job, NEVER been without one since I was 16. I don’t date American woman for my own reasons.

Please don’t attack anyone just because you have a bone to pick or are not happy with the chooses you have made, we are here to help each other not throw stones

[fantonledzepp 159]

See an attorney, better legal advice there than here.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

See an attorney, better legal advice there than here.

I agree about seeking an attorney for advice. Yet, there have been great ideas here as well for the member to consider. Good luck with your decision! Either way, remember to think this whole situation through and well.

[Olakunle39 11]

First of all, do we know if the husband was the sponsor because did I read correctly he does not have a job? My advice is do what you think is best. If he is really growing this drug in the home then it will not be long for law enforcement to come because of the smell. Neighbors will report and I am not sure if they will deport you, I hope not. I would consult a lawyer asap...find another place to crash.....I hope everything works out for you. God bless.