Can his parents force him to marry somebody else?

[Boiler 46,107]

I totally agree with you!!! I never judge anybody by their sex, religion, and race!

and waist size.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Ever since the day I left India, my fiance dad has been consistently calling him trying to arrange a marriage for him due to the fact his father feels he should not marry anybody outside his race, religion, and caste! Now since I fall into those catagories, and the fact I am American, his dad views on American women that we dont make good wifes, mothers, and not very family oriented, so that's four strikes against me. My fiance feels that his father might try and force him to marry! He says he wont let this happen but he feels his dad is getting out of control. His dad now got the whole family harassing him about the arranged marriage. He is always telling family members that he is going to marry me and that he does not want the arranged marriage! Now my question is could his father force him to marry? I read topics on this but its mainly been children that are forced and not a grown man, and if so is there anything I can do to help him though this?

His father can no more force him to marry than he can make it rain.

Wise up!

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I am not sure the reason why people need to smear American women here. Just because you had bad experiences doesn't mean you need to generalize about all American women.

I totally agree with you!!! I never judge anybody by their sex, religion, and race!

Guys, stop already with the wounded knee stuff. You're taking this way too seriously. It's a joke and this is Off Topic.

and waist size.

Of that I am guilty but I've been riding 20 miles a day. I think I need to stop with the breaks during rides at In N Out.

[Golden Gate 530]

As it becomes a habit around here, it isn't a joke anymore, it's insulting.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

As it becomes a habit around here, it isn't a joke anymore, it's insulting.

How is it insulting?

It wasn't said that American Womenfolks are ... or ...?

You used the word smear to suggest an offensive stance which was not intended.

Be proud of who you are. Mayeb your definition of an American is someone that kicks into high gear, generous to a fault, volunteer to at elast 5 causes, etc

You are choosing to see the negative.

Edited May 28, 2013 by Gowon

[Golden Gate 530]

I think the connotation is clear. The comment was based on what the OP said the father thinks of American women. Not sure any other reason to point it out again.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

and waist size.

[Mel&Lal 12]

Yes this is about my future father in laws views, he sees me as a taint in his family! I showed nothing but respect for him. At least his mother loves me!

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I think the connotation is clear. The comment was based on what the OP said the father thinks of American women. Not sure any other reason to point it out again.

No it's not clear.

Here's what the Dad said "American women dont make good wifes, mothers, and not very family oriented".

What exaclty is insulting about those views? Or is it solely because it's not the same as yours?

If he had said American Women are cheats, liars, etc then I might see your point. Just because you and his Dad have a differing opinion doesn't mean that it is insulting.

[Harsh_77 718]

Back to your question, there is not much that you can do to help the situation. It is your fiancé who will have to face his father and convince his father for the marriage.

Fiancé visa could be difficult depends on CO, I have heard of cases where they are difficult after knowing one family is not cooperating.

Also it might depends on the cases to case basis on where you guys met and how things went etc.

[chaine1 116]

Here's what the Dad said "American women dont make good wifes, mothers, and not very family oriented".

What exaclty is insulting about those views?

Is this the part that is a joke?

If you don't see what is insulting about that, then we can't help you.

[Mel&Lal 12]

Back to your question, there is not much that you can do to help the situation. It is your fiancé who will have to face his father and convince his father for the marriage.

Fiancé visa could be difficult depends on CO, I have heard of cases where they are difficult after knowing one family is not cooperating.

Also it might depends on the cases to case basis on where you guys met and how things went etc.

Yes this is what I am afraid of because the fact his father does not agree with this marriage the CO will not approve of the visa! Both fiance and I have talked about the interview and what he should say if the CO ask if his family agrees to the engagement. I am thinking the best policy is to just be truthful and pray for the best!

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

I spent 3 out of the last 7 months in one of our India offices on work assignments, so I had a chance to talk with some local colleagues about alot of things, including marriage.

The whole country is still pretty much liivng in the 1700's.

-In India, the parents have complete control over the child until they marry. (As an example, employees must sign a "contract" whenever they get hired stating that they will remain with the company for at least 1 or 2 years, depends. If a person breaks the contract, he must pay the company back a specified amount- "training costs". We had a 30 year old guy sign and then he tried to back out and his father came in to talk to our MD to try to get him out of the contract for free.) Children who live at home (most live with parents until they marry and then a lot continue to live with parents) pretty much do whatever their parents tell them to. The fear is that if they disobey they may be shunned from the family forever.

-About 85-90% of all marriages in India are arranged.

-The caste system is still very much existant and the family won't let a person marry below their caste. If they have such strong opinions about American women, they may see that as marrying below his caste. That's a very big deal there.

-Some women's families have to pay a dowry to the man's family for the privilage of marriage. Has your fiancee mentioned this to you at all?

In my opinion, if your fiancee is not strong-willed, he will end up marrying a local arranged girl. The parents have a lot of control there. If he goes against his family's wishes, is he prepared to live without his family's contact? Are you willing to let him get shunned or banished from his family for you?

These things seem very weird to us, but they are a very big deal over there. Things to think about for both of you.

[Golden Gate 530]

No it's not clear.

Here's what the Dad said "American women dont make good wifes, mothers, and not very family oriented".

What exaclty is insulting about those views? Or is it solely because it's not the same as yours?

If he had said American Women are cheats, liars, etc then I might see your point. Just because you and his Dad have a differing opinion doesn't mean that it is insulting.

What is the point of pointing out again the opinion that ' American women don't make good wives, mothers and are not very family oriented"?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Yes this is about my future father in laws views, he sees me as a taint in his family! I showed nothing but respect for him. At least his mother loves me!

You do realize that the father probably thinks that not getting married in front of him is disrespectful?