I need the boards help

[evansfan 0]

Hi everyone,

First of all, I apologize to the moderator. I choose this subject area for maximum targeting of those with knowledge of Thailand. Here is my story. The events in no way involve my fiancé Yanxia; this involves a very good friend of mine whose advice I have counted on as I negotiated the minefield of long distance relationships.

She is an university educated Thai national with a natural fluency level in English that is very rare, and this skill has assisted her as she climbs the corporate ladder, but at heart she is a simple girl from the country, and that fact has exasperated the situation because she is lacking the guideposts that those of us that have spent our life in an urban environment acquire.

A few years ago she had an American born boyfriend, after she discovered him cheating on her, she unceremoniously moved out and got on with her life. End of story or so she thought. A few weeks ago she bumped into an old shared acquaintance in the hallway of her apartment building, she chatted with her for a few minutes, and continued on her way. The following Sunday, as she was doing laundry, she looked up and her old boyfriend appeared and proceeded to attack her, proclaiming she will never have anyone else, fortunately a neighbor intervened and away he went. Shockingly the police were not called. He made a few more appearances but was not allowed in the building and one time a confrontation with a security guard erupted. My friend was looking for a new apartment. I beseeched her to go to a motel. She was paralyzed into inertia. The idea of a stalker, someone who could not forget after two years was unfathomable to her "why why is he doing this after two years" she would say during our talks. She called me because she was trying to understand him, maybe this was an "American thing" I tried to explain to her that you cannot rationalize a stalker. That all became clear to her one morning when she left for work and noticed him around the building, she has always assumed morning time was safe because he was working, he jumped into a cab and followed her, she realized he was trying to determine her workplace. She smartly went right to the bus station, on the way she arranged a ticket by phone, paid, and ran right on a bus heading for her hometown. She called me Friday night, Thailand time, telling me that her parents are begging her to stay, and I advised her that would be a bad idea, he knew where her family lived and she would be the proverbial sitting duck. I advised her to hide in the concrete jungle of Bangkok. She left Saturday night and arrived early Sunday morning; with my paranoid urging she switched cabs numerous times as she traversed to her friend’s apartment. Sure enough, he arrived Sunday at her families house looking for her, he has lived in the kingdom long enough to speak enough Thai to get by, but they told him nothing useful.

Here is what is being done to buy her a little time:

She will never return to her old apartment

Her new apartment will be rented in a friends name with no bills or documentation linking her to the new place

She will no longer associate with anyone who could remotely be connected to her old boyfriend; luckily she has switched industries so that helps greatly.

Heartbreakingly, she can only contact her family by phone and email, and will not tell them where she lives for at least a few months

Her family will take her stuff from the old apartment back to her village

She will not leave Bangkok

Here are my questions:

1. Does Thailand have the equivalent of the “protective order” an edict by a court barring him from contacting her (a lawyer friend advised her that they did not?)

2. If Thailand does, can she file for the order without giving her whereabouts?

3. If he violates the order will his immigration status be affected? (He is in the kingdom legally)

4. He is an American citizen, is their some American statue we can fall back on if he is arrested for violating another countries protective order.

The situation is very fluid, and she is relying on me, because I have absolutely no contact with the stalker and she trusts me. She feels utterly alone and bewildered. I worked in Thailand for six months and at that time she worked at the US embassy (she will use those contacts very soon), and I met her there. She is a remarkable young woman, bright, talented, with a heart of gold. In the spirit of John Donne, the world will be a poorer place if something happens to her.

I am exploring many different avenues, this board has been so helpful to me, I would be remiss not to make an appeal here, and any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks

Jay

[KarenCee 3]

I am so sorry for your friend. At the same time, I'm not sure this is the place to seek advice for this situation. I really hope this situation becomes resolved and this man leaves her alone.

[evansfan 0]

I am so sorry for your friend. At the same time, I'm not sure this is the place to seek advice for this situation. I really hope this situation becomes resolved and this man leaves her alone.

you are correct, I meant to write this in the thailand thread, and obviously screwed up-jay

[chuckandkim 0]

I don't know about Thailand, if this is happenning in Vietnam and it's involved an American citizen... It is nothing easier than go to police and security force, telling them this American boy is CIA. He would be in prison and deported out of Vietnam so quick, it's not even funny! And again, vietnamese police love to watch and double monitor foreigners who living and working in the country!

My prayer is with your friend... the situation sounds horrible!

[anya-D 8]

I'm so sorry to hear this.. Let me ask around (never have any experience like that or heard of..) will get back to ya if i know anything useful

Hope she's now safe though... hang in there!!

[Yodrak 7]

evansfan,

I cannot understand why the woman did not report the initial incident to the Royal Thai Police. And why she still hasn't reported it along with the subsequent encounters.

For questions of law she might contact the office of William F White, of White and White, in Bangkok. Bill White is a US immigration lawyer and cannot answer her questions on Thai law, but he or his secretary should be able to direct her to an appropriate Thai lawyer. He might also be able to advise her as to the best way to approach the US consulate, and tell her what they can or cannot do for her.

White & White Ltd.

U.S. Immigration Consultancy

New ITF Tower, 17th Floor, #3

140/36 Silom Road, Bangrak

Bangkok 10500, Thailand

Telephone 66 (0) 2231-6466

I don't know if the US consulate can help her, but it would be worth asking. I imagine the first thing that they'll ask her is whether she's filled a complaint with the police .....

Yodrak

Hi everyone,

....

A few years ago she had an American born boyfriend, after she discovered him cheating on her, she unceremoniously moved out and got on with her life. End of story or so she thought. A few weeks ago she bumped into an old shared acquaintance in the hallway of her apartment building, she chatted with her for a few minutes, and continued on her way. The following Sunday, as she was doing laundry, she looked up and her old boyfriend appeared and proceeded to attack her, proclaiming she will never have anyone else, fortunately a neighbor intervened and away he went. Shockingly the police were not called. He made a few more appearances but was not allowed in the building and one time a confrontation with a security guard erupted. .....

Here are my questions:

1. Does Thailand have the equivalent of the "protective order" an edict by a court barring him from contacting her (a lawyer friend advised her that they did not?)

2. If Thailand does, can she file for the order without giving her whereabouts?

3. If he violates the order will his immigration status be affected? (He is in the kingdom legally)

4. He is an American citizen, is their some American statue we can fall back on if he is arrested for violating another countries protective order.

..... she worked at the US embassy (she will use those contacts very soon) .....

Thanks

Jay

Edited November 22, 2006 by Yodrak

[evansfan 0]

Thanks everyone-

Anya let me know if you learn anything

Yodrak- thanks for the name-I will let her know- I have no idea why she did not initially call the police, but she is now well aware of the gravity of the situation and is taking action. I will let you know what happens-Jay