Didn't work, won't return home..

[Caryh 5,206]

Well I can tell you I do think that the K-1 process does need a make over but VAWA needs a heavy make over, the things about VAWA and making it administrative is it strips the USC of the right to defend himself/ herself against abuse claims that are false, change the amount of evidence needed to a higher standard and make sure both parties are heard at the AOS ( I did not say have the partys together in the same room, for the AOS, let USCIS be proactive about this issue) No one on this site really knows how USCIS does its work in these cases, because each case is as different as each couple. I do agree with Capri, There are REAL victims out there of abuse, there are real women and men that level charges of false abuse against a USC and this charge is with them for the rest of their lives, if a false restraining order is issued it shows when a person renews ID's if the police stop you fro a traffic violation, how is it USCIS thinks this is okay, how do people think it is okay to do such damage to a person just for a green card it is not fair to the USC. My lovely ex from Ukraine tried false alligations and I have caught her in two counts of perjury to the court, and she abused my minor child, I have no recourse and USCIS will do nothing really, so these types of "clever" (or so they say in Ukraine if you lie and get away with it you are clever) people like this should be booted out of the country and told to never come back. But since I MIGHT be considered a bitter ex ( I have proof of what I have said) What is my ex wife's reward for what she has done.....a ten year green card....nice huh? The system is not broke at all, I want my voice heard at USCIS to make sure this type of person goes back home never to live or visit this country again, bitter no, mad as hell yes

If they got to marry a dolphin I have a pet goat, anybody want to come to the reception

Is goat on the menu at the reception?

I'll certainly agree there are some major broken parts of marriage based immigration.

The following is opinion-

VAWA was written with backing and input from women's groups focused on ending abuse. The bias of the legislation was that men were evil and just importing women to abuse them. They may have made the legislation gender neutral, but the source bias of having to protect the poor woman victim is even evident in the name. The idea of not allowing the USC to refute is based on the assumption the USC is abusive and letting them have their say would just heap more abuse on the victim. There is no thought given to how non-abused immigrant lying about abuse may affect an innocent USC. As typical, when legislation is sponsored and backed by an special interest group, balance or caring about the other side of the issue, is not a concern.

The stigma left on the USC, is probably more under the control of the USC's local courts and police. If the system is fair there, it shouldn't be an issue. But I believe many courts and police fall on the side of protecting a potential victim, more than on protecting an innocent parties accused of abuse.

There should be protection for parties on both sides. The problem is writing a law that would do that.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

which other country in the World gives out legal residency to abused foreign spouses or have similar VAWA act?

[Blue Bianchi 77]

I know that this discussion has branched out and has probably run its course. But reading through the "Effects of Major Family Changes..," you see this scenario all the time, in various states of progression. In most cases where this hasn't worked, the couples aren't really compatible to begin with; they have different communication styles, don't have much in common, there is a huge imbalance in economic status, etc. One just wants to move to the US, and another just wants a subservient companion. Recently saw a great documentary that explores this. Let it serve as a cautionary tale:

Seeking Asian Female

A Documentary by Debbie Lum

Here is an excerpt from This American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/491/tribes?act=3#play

So I have helped several friends who have gone through the K-1 visa process, almost all are happy stories. The one who is not happy brought his wife here on a K-1 visa, they were married within the 90 days, but they were fighting some. Despite the fighting they applied for the Adjustment of Status, but now things have gotten worse. My friend wants to divorce his new wife and send her home to the Philippines. The problem is she will not leave. I have advised him to contact a lawyer so I hope he will, but I wish I could give him more advise.

What are his options? Should he now just move without her? I am worried with their fighting he will at some point be facing police and being accused of domestic assault or something. When they were having issues at first I advised them not to get married, and later I advised my friend not to petition for the AOS just because they couldn't get along, I knew that it wouldn't work out. Now it has come to this.

[BatmanUSA 105]

Question.....

What options does the USC have if they do not want to get married ( lets say there were red flags discovered during the first 90 days) and the fiance' does not want to leave.( he bought her a plane ticket and drove her to the airport but she refused to get out of the car) ?? the OP said the couple were living in a rented apartment, so the USC could move out. However, what if they were living in the USC's house.??? what options do they have.??

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I know that this discussion has branched out and has probably run its course. But reading through the "Effects of Major Family Changes..," you see this scenario all the time, in various states of progression. In most cases where this hasn't worked, the couples aren't really compatible to begin with; they have different communication styles, don't have much in common, there is a huge imbalance in economic status, etc. One just wants to move to the US, and another just wants a subservient companion. Recently saw a great documentary that explores this. Let it serve as a cautionary tale:

Seeking Asian Female

A Documentary by Debbie Lum

Here is an excerpt from This American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/491/tribes?act=3#play

The only thing this documentary did for me was prove that any couple can make it work if they can both find a middle ground and a liason between them to bridge the gap.

Question.....

What options does the USC have if they do not want to get married ( lets say there were red flags discovered during the first 90 days) and the fiance' does not want to leave.( he bought her a plane ticket and drove her to the airport but she refused to get out of the car) ?? the OP said the couple were living in a rented apartment, so the USC could move out. However, what if they were living in the USC's house.??? what options do they have.??

Not much. You can't forcibly evict that person.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Question.....

What options does the USC have if they do not want to get married ( lets say there were red flags discovered during the first 90 days) and the fiance' does not want to leave.( he bought her a plane ticket and drove her to the airport but she refused to get out of the car) ?? the OP said the couple were living in a rented apartment, so the USC could move out. However, what if they were living in the USC's house.??? what options do they have.??

The options are the same as if there weren't immigration issues involved. Divorce would be filed. One party (typically) would remain in the residence, the other party would most likely be ordered to support the spouse (if the spouse doesn't have their own form of income) until the divorce is over.

A lot depends on how amicable the situation is. The USC needs to protect themselves and not be alone with the spouse.

The immigrant couldn't remain in the US. The USC spouse has no requirement to pay for a flight home. Has no requirements for much of anything really, a lot depends on state laws and morals.

Of course that's all if they got married. If they didn't get married then the above is moot. The USC doesn't need to let the immigrant stay in their residence. There's no right to abode for a ex-fiance/e (in most states) but you'd need to seek legal advice because you wouldn't want the immigrant to cause you trouble.

[CurleyHoward 1]

yo admin! u suck! if anyone says anything not totally in support of the fraudsters flooding into the USA and using trumped up/provoked VAWA charges as an excuse, what do you do? ban them. why don't you allow any other opinions about this epidemic? you are aiding all these foreign girls who came here with a plan to use VAWA and get a green card and ruin the lives of born n bred US CITIZENS!!! Xena is just such a girl, used me to get in here, then screw my life for her diabolic VAWA plan. you shud be arrested for aiding and condoling marriage fraud. i'll write to USCIS about your site.

[Darnell 8,479]

I encourage you to write, and write often.

[believe 46]

Ahem... Yes... Write, and write often.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

yo admin! u suck! if anyone says anything not totally in support of the fraudsters flooding into the USA and using trumped up/provoked VAWA charges as an excuse, what do you do? ban them. why don't you allow any other opinions about this epidemic? you are aiding all these foreign girls who came here with a plan to use VAWA and get a green card and ruin the lives of born n bred US CITIZENS!!! Xena is just such a girl, used me to get in here, then screw my life for her diabolic VAWA plan. you shud be arrested for aiding and condoling marriage fraud. i'll write to USCIS about your site.

May I remind you that it is not necessarily 'what' you say, but how you say it that gets you in trouble. There are always ways to express your point of view that are polite and respectful of other posters. If you choose to make your comments in a way that abuses other members or is offensive in its content, then that violates the Terms of Service by which you agreed to abide when you became a member of Visa Journey. If you choose to break the rules, then you will experience the 'consequences' of your choice of action. If you wish to participate in a thread, then don't violate the Terms of Service.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

The only thing this documentary did for me was prove that any couple can make it work if they can both find a middle ground and a liason between them to bridge the gap.

Wow. If that's all you saw, then you've got blinders on.

What about the part when the immigrant said she was going to leave him years later once she was established and after he paid for her school?

What about the part where the USC said he was a selfish ###?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Wow. If that's all you saw, then you've got blinders on.

What about the part when the immigrant said she was going to leave him years later once she was established and after he paid for her school?

What about the part where the USC said he was a selfish ####?

Was that really necessary? Could you offer a differing opinion without going into the gutter?

I apologize that my opinion was different from yours. I'll keep that in mind whenever I watch stuff in the future so that they can be in line with your views.

[Karee 4,191]

yo admin! u suck! if anyone says anything not totally in support of the fraudsters flooding into the USA and using trumped up/provoked VAWA charges as an excuse, what do you do? ban them. why don't you allow any other opinions about this epidemic? you are aiding all these foreign girls who came here with a plan to use VAWA and get a green card and ruin the lives of born n bred US CITIZENS!!! Xena is just such a girl, used me to get in here, then screw my life for her diabolic VAWA plan. you shud be arrested for aiding and condoling marriage fraud. i'll write to USCIS about your site.

I'd say you knew exactly what you were getting into when you brought her here:

Don't cry about it now.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Was that really necessary? Could you offer a differing opinion without going into the gutter?

I apologize that my opinion was different from yours. I'll keep that in mind whenever I watch stuff in the future so that they can be in line with your views.

Well the film was full of nuance, there were nice moments, despicable moments, the filmmaker questioned herself, and tried to give people credit, the people fell into predictable patterns, broke out of them, and went back again.

So you are welcome to your opinion, but to water down a nuanced film about a complex phenomenon into what you want to see, a success story (which I would argue it is not) then I think that is blinders, yes. As for the gutter, I was quoting the USC in that film.

[Boiler 45,932]

I'd say you knew exactly what you were getting into when you brought her here:

Don't cry about it now.

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