Coming to VJ for support?

[Natsukiii 35]

Hang around for 4 years and tell me how you feel about it then. I understand where you're coming from but the "search" function is pretty obvious and I would hope people know how to use a search bar (especially one that says Google! )

I don't think I'll be here in four years. Like most people, I'm here for help and quick answers. After my wife gets her visa I probably won't visit this site again.

I understand how the same question over and over again can get annoying after a while, but you've gotta understand too that new people are probably visiting this site every day and aren't aware how helpful the search function is.

Personally, I use the search function all the time. It just sucks when I see a post where someone gets the "hammer" for asking a question that's already been answered. Poor fellow!

Just an observation, please don't give me the "hammer"

Justin

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Hang around for 4 years and tell me how you feel about it then. I understand where you're coming from but the "search" function is pretty obvious and I would hope people know how to use a search bar (especially one that says Google! )

**Edit - I will admit when I first arrived here i was confused (it's changed a bit since then) but if you just take the time to have a quick look around (unless its an urgent qn) a lot of people appreciate the effort at least

I have tried to learn how to use vJ features n still cant figure it out its actually not so simple. I cant figure out how people post their journeys with their comments which is very neat. And i often locate useful tools( graphs n such) that i cant find again wen i navigate away from the page. Lol emoticons are cool to but i have no idea how to post one except the smile face..

[yorubaqueen13 28]

I don't think I'll be here in four years. Like most people, I'm here for help and quick answers. After my wife gets her visa I probably won't visit this site again.

I understand how the same question over and over again can get annoying after a while, but you've gotta understand too that new people are probably visiting this site every day and aren't aware how helpful the search function is.

Personally, I use the search function all the time. It just sucks when I see a post where someone gets the "hammer" for asking a question that's already been answered. Poor fellow!

Just an observation, please don't give me the "hammer"

Justin

Yes so true n my point exactly.. And i get very discouraged to even ask questions due to this.. Example.. The topic i was banned from the person i "mocked" had told another member to grow up n stop using "lol & lmao" on this site. How rude! I defended the person using typical text lingo as it is not a sign of juvenile behavior and i was banned!! Lol go figure... And many people as stated by Vanessa & Tony have jobs n lives and dont have time to search everything detail. We want to just ask n get answeres n move on

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If you want warm and fuzzy adopt a cat/dog or buy a teddy bear. The site is for information ( and for correcting misinformation ) and people who have posted thousands of posts tend to develop a style of putting out information , correcting misinformation. Few ever become close to the users that pass through and most will be here long after most reading this thread are forgotten. Respect your elders.

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Your problem is misreading things and taking them badly. Each post i've read of yours today where you blew up at another member for being "mean" was taken completely wrong. There was no insult. There just was no "now you see love..." You got what you came for, advice, fact, and in some cases, opinion.

At no point of any of the responses I've read to you (or written) breached the VJ TOS. If you feel it does you hit the report button and a mod will be along when they get the chance to assess it.

There aren't thousands of members here who know what they're talking about. There are many people who know things about certain things, but I'd say there's around 10-20 "veterans" who know what they're talking about and whose advice I would take as gospel without further research (and when you do the ratio on that, it's extremely askew). Of the many hundreds/thousands of questions posted here, do you really expect those 10-20 people to take the time to pretty up their speech so that they don't offend anyone? You will ALWAYS offend someone. It is, a lot of the time, a type and send answer. No re-reading, no censorship. Just answer and move to the next topic.

The people on this site almost all have jobs. They have lives. They spend part of their time/lives on this site giving advice to people. They do not get paid and a lot of the time they end up having threads like this being written about them. What makes you think THAT is fair? Do you really think it makes us WANT to continue giving you advice? Do you think it's fair that others miss out on the advice of experienced members because someone got their back up about something, most likely for entirely the wrong reason and the experienced member just says "well ####### this, it's just not worth it" and stops answering? or for the answer to be muddied with pointless "you're being a poopy head" talk?

It's people like you that stop a lot of experienced members from coming back once they're done with the process (or between processes). You're new here, you expect us to cater to the myriad of personalities you come across here. To answer the same question HUNDREDS of times a week and still be all nice and sugary sweet. It's just not going to happen, sometimes we try, but sometimes we don't because the answer is more important.

There are some threads, specifically regional, or progress threads, where thing are a lot friendlier/prettier. In the upper forums (where you posted this initially in the k1 visa section) it is mostly answer and go.

I suggest you learn to let these things roll off your back, especially during this extremely long and stressful process. Take the time to realise no offence was meant but that most of us aren't your friends. Consider us as the stranger at the bus stop you ask for directions. We answer, we move on.

I also wanna point out its not " people like me" that stop people from coming back.. Its the ones being very bold in their answers. If you want sumone to take the advice dont cram down their throats. Its best served warm and genuine not cold and forceful. If having a bad day cuz ur life is busy maybe people could refrain from answering that day n enjoy a glass of wine? Any answer given thats salty will most likely be rejected and ignored no matter how accurate the answer is so wats the point in answering? My children dont take my advice wen yelling, nor would a stranger. But if i answer to the point with decency and empathy the message is received loud n clear

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Agreed. One of my pet-peeves is when people (most often veterans and people who are on this site all the time) get mad at those that post a question that's already been answered in the past. Some people don't know how to navigate forums. Some people just want a fresh answer. This is a forum where people make posts to get answers.

Justin

I have seen this occur! I hope they get banned. It makes people feel crappy about asking questions and starts arguments that the newbie gets scolded for! Its rediculous

[Merrytooth 5,748]

So this thread is about bashing the veterans who have contributed their vast knowledge in the USCIS processes?

No wonder I notice that many veterans who offer great information are slowly disappearing from VJ forum.

I have benefited from their posts during my journey.

Perhaps, it is time for the veterans to move on from this forum, since they are clearly becoming unappreciated.

[yorubaqueen13 28]

If you want warm and fuzzy adopt a cat/dog or buy a teddy bear. The site is for information ( and for correcting misinformation ) and people who have posted thousands of posts tend to develop a style of putting out information , correcting misinformation. Few ever become close to the users that pass through and most will be here long after most reading this thread are forgotten. Respect your elders.

Lets agree to disagree lol but i do agree with respecting elders. But peers r fair game right? Lol n im not here for cold dark hearts to rain on my parade. I will just learn who to stay away from over time. I dont want advice from any dark hearts as their hatred will not become heavy on my heart. I have God to ask of for most advice needed any other questions i post here will be posted on tip toes over egg shells... I will weed thru the replies as necessary. I should have known better then to defend sumone on unknown territory. My street smarts got jammed up in my exciting day spent with the love of my life.. btw i do enjoy ur advice. You keep it to the point and i have taken much of your advice

[yorubaqueen13 28]

I completely agree with you and thank goodness for VJ and the great info provided here... there is some good info but, there is also some negativity. I guess we have to take the good and ignore the not so positive. I can appreciate your frustration but, just keep your eyes on the prize of completing this journey successfully. I pray that you have success. We are traveling a similar path and support is definately encouraged. Good luck to you and feel free to reach out. God Bless.

Thank you!! And u are so right. Im not here to save VJ from all the people that need lessons in communication.. Lol my goal is getting this visa and getting married and living with my best friend for the rest of my life thank u for the kind words. May God bless your journey as well.. And if u need to reach out as well the offer is returned to you. Thank u again

[yorubaqueen13 28]

So this thread is about bashing the veterans who have contributed their vast knowledge in the USCIS processes?

No wonder I notice that many veterans who offer great information are slowly disappearing from VJ forum.

I have benefited from their posts during my journey.

Perhaps, it is time for the veterans to move on from this forum, since they are clearly becoming unappreciated.

Im not sure that it was a veteran i had to defend myself from? Nor have i notived anyone speaking about veterans being the ones rude wen giving answers. Unless i missed something? But how is this about veterans specifically? Its refering to people who are rude not the time they have been here or how much they know.. If advice is given in a kind n genuine way by anyone it will be much more effective for those people receiving advice rather then to b insulted and dictated and judged then expected to take the advice... And if u people dont care if sumone benefits from advice given well, whats the point in giving it? I cant expect everyone will agree and i cant expect if i give advice they r obligated to take it. But i can expect that if i give them advice on an empathetic level that i may be doin some good and helping. I also can expect that if im cold and disconcerning with my advice its most likely that im not helping and my advice is wasted time. Id like people to benefit from my words of advice not be offended. And some wont agree with the advice given no matter how its given but thats there right n why get pushy with people. Veteran or no veteran this applies to all

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I also wanna point out its not " people like me" that stop people from coming back.. Its the ones being very bold in their answers. If you want sumone to take the advice dont cram down their throats. Its best served warm and genuine not cold and forceful. If having a bad day cuz ur life is busy maybe people could refrain from answering that day n enjoy a glass of wine? Any answer given thats salty will most likely be rejected and ignored no matter how accurate the answer is so wats the point in answering? My children dont take my advice wen yelling, nor would a stranger. But if i answer to the point with decency and empathy the message is received loud n clear

I don't drink, I'm allergic to alcohol. I understand what you're saying but honestly, no. I prefer to give advice, whether acerbic or not, when I feel like it. VJ used to be a great place to come and talk to people.

Unfortunately there are just too many new people who come here looking for advice but refuse to listen. They think they know it all, refuse to listen, or try to dictate the manner in which the advice is given and that makes the people who give the advice come around less and less. A lot of the main people who were here 6 months to a year ago are rarely on anymore, and I don't blame them.

**Edit - as long as the advice is accurate, check the ego at the door.

Edited May 16, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[yorubaqueen13 28]

I don't drink, I'm allergic to alcohol. I understand what you're saying but honestly, no. I prefer to give advice, whether acerbic or not, when I feel like it. VJ used to be a great place to come and talk to people.

Unfortunately there are just too many new people who come here looking for advice but refuse to listen. They think they know it all, refuse to listen, or try to dictate the manner in which the advice is given and that makes the people who give the advice come around less and less. A lot of the main people who were here 6 months to a year ago are rarely on anymore, and I don't blame them.

**Edit - as long as the advice is accurate, check the ego at the door.

Yes i agree.... Checking the ego goes for the ones giving advice as well..some dont give accurate advice and others do, but give it in a way that is far to disrespectful to listen to. Its sad really this forum is a great tool as i stated and i guess u take the good with the bad... I hope u have a better day today. It sounded rough yesterday what u explained. Lets all pray for good days while waiting and venturing down our journeys! have a happy day!! Edited May 16, 2013 by yorubaqueen13

[Boggy1974 124]

Wow! I am a veteran and I served my country!

I have been dealing with immigration stuff over ten years helping friends & family. Does that make me veteran & knowing-it-all? Respecting people? Yes, I'm all for it!

Pushy veteran? No way! Is it really necessary to find the need to answer every snippert/comment a member makes?

[yorubaqueen13 28]

Wow! I am a veteran and I served my country!

I have been dealing with immigration stuff over ten years helping friends & family. Does that make me veteran & knowing-it-all? Respecting people? Yes, I'm all for it!

Pushy veteran? No way! Is it really necessary to find the need to answer every snippert/comment a member makes?

Thank u so much for your service to our country!!!! you are greatly appreciated. The veterans of Visa Journey's are also appreciated i want that to b clear.... Veterans r not the only ones that answer questions with attitudes so i hope the context of this post does not become misconstrued as i was only pointing out people are not coming here to this forum to be talked down to or made to feel unwelcome. We come for support and answers to real concerns and maybe even to make a friend or 2... God bless u for your help on this forum as a veteran of immigration experiences and also as a veteran of this country... U are very much appreciated

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

What you stated is sad but a harsh reality on VJ. Most of the veterans or the members are polite and considerate, but you can't expect not to come across the blunt and bitter ones! This is a huge group of people from all over the world with different backgrounds and pasts. It is bound to happen. Take it with grain of salt.

It is important to keep in mind that not everyone will respond the way you would treat them if you had the chance. Yet, one can set examples for others to follow. I have an endless respect for the members who have been here for years and are still giving great advice even after their visa journey is over just to lend a hand or an advice to someone in need.

It takes all kinds so people to make this world go around....and it makes you stand out for your examples which you set which is in your hands...

Stay blessed and thanks for the heartfelt post. Good luck and best wishes in your journey.

Edited May 17, 2013 by LoveNigarmostyle