How did you celebrate your first wedding anniversary?

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

We're coming up on year seven but our first wedding anniversary was in December 2007 and we spent it online. He was still in Egypt doing a rotation at a private medical clinic for his residency while I was away at college in the States. I remember we were still waiting on our NOA 2 for our K3 visa for six months, because we were one of those applications stuck in the backlog during the change in procedures and rush to get applications in because of the mid-year application fee increases. Also we were dealing with the Egyptian military interviewing him every Saturday since October while we'd started doing the US immigration process. We weren't sure if he was going to have to serve the mandatory military duty or not since he's married to a foreigner, but they take all doctors and he went into the Army that following January thus delaying our visa process at the Embassy level for a couple of years.

The next two wedding anniversaries were also spent apart and just the most awful anniversaries ever. The second anniversary in Dec 2008 he was at a military base camp in the desert stationed as the doctor of the medical point serving 2,500 soldiers. Israel was dropping bombs on Gaza and I was told he was being sent to Gaza. They were rounding up doctors and soldiers to volunteer to take in the wounded. I was freaking out because I thought he'd be where the bombs were dropping. Then when I learned he'd be at a temporary medical point on the Egyptian side of the border town of Rafah I felt more calm. As quickly as I got the news the war ended and he didn't have to go. It only lasted three weeks that time.

The third anniversary in Dec. 2009 was the worst. I don't think I ever fully talked about it on VJ before. Some people know what happened who were on my facebook but most people only know parts of my journey from sharing on here. I'd just spent the summer in Egypt with him after he was released from military duty. We'd reunited after 2.5 years apart and finally had our wedding ceremony at El Nour Mosque in Cairo among friends and family. We were still waiting on the interview for the visa at the Embassy and I traveled back to the States while he continued working as a doctor at a private clinic in Hurghada.

Two days before our 3rd anniversary I was told my husband was dead. I was out Christmas shopping with my Mom when the news came and I started crying so my Mom took me home. I'm not fluent in Arabic and I had to asked people online for help with calling Egypt to find out what's going on. After some time and lots of crying and calls to the clinic where he worked and being told he was dead by several people including the people translating for me, and then calls to the in-laws it was found to my relief my husband was alive.

There was some initial confusion because he had the same name as another doctor at the clinic he worked with that was the one who died in the fatal roll over car accident. The doctor with the same name as my husband was also his best friend from medical school and owned the clinic and was also married to a foreigner. His wife and baby survived the crash. His wife is half Egyptian-half Polish and her English not so good and when I spoke with her she said "he's dead". I couldn't tell if she meant my husband or hers but I thought it was mine because she was so calm about it. I kept asking her through choked tears and she kept saying, "he's dead, he's dead". Others called for me to confirm and spoke in Arabic with other people answering the phone at the clinic and they confirmed he's dead.

We tried calling his phone and his family and I was in the dark for a few days not knowing what was happening because they bury their dead in 24 hours. Everyone was busy with that, mourning the sudden loss, and he was also grieving from the tragedy and not answering his phone. After we touched based he went back to work at the clinic to keep it running for his best friends wife and baby so they could have an income until they could find a replacement doctor or figure out what they were going to do with the prospering business. The polish ambassador came to the clinic to meet everyone and offer their condolences. It was the only clinic in Egypt that was being European certified for medical insurance purposes as part of the vision of the late-owner-doctor and his wife. It serviced tourists to the Red Sea resorts and had translators for polish and such. The following February my husband finally received his visa in hand after 5 months of AP and the family told him it's ok to go. The clinic has since closed since the main owner-manager-doctor passed away and my husband immigrated to the States.

Our 4th, 5th and 6th wedding anniversary were spent in the States and we'll be celebrating our 7th this December 2013. They've all been far better together than the ones spent apart and pretty low key since we're still directing our resources mostly towards the continuing immigration process and the USMLE Steps for him to become an ECFMG certified doctor in the States. He should become an American Board Certified doctor this August and a naturalized US citizen hopefully by the end of this year.