Divorce after getting GC

[JOHNY1 3]

Hi, I am in terrible situation and i really need help.

I came here on K1 visa in march last year. I had a good job in my country but we decided to settle here as she didn't wanna move from US and leave her family. I left everything and came here. I was living with my in laws in their house as our plan was to move out as soon as i will get any job. We got married in April last year. i applied for AOS in May, got my EAD card in Oct and november i got a very good job in IT in a very good company.

But during period, my relation with in laws were getting bad as i didn't bring enough funds to to rent an apartment. Things were getting really really bad. They were not happy from my family which lives back home and they think my family hate their daughter. I explained to them that this is not the case but they always use to taunt me, cursed at me whenever this topic was coming in discussion. They know that i treat my wife very well and she was happy with me but still they were thinking that i could be a different person in future. I know my wife and family for 4 years and in 4 years i never said anything wrong to her or her family. I told my wife to move out with me but she said no as her parents are old. I thought she is right as one day i can be old person too and will need some help. But my in laws were interfering in our personal life a lot which i hated. But i said enough is enough. I told my wife she has to move out with me and we can live in the same neighborhood. She agreed but when she told her family, they all got mad and last week, we had a huge fight.

I gave my wife 2 choices, either move out with me in same neighborhood or get separate. She said her family will decide. Yesterday, her mom called me and told me that i have two choices, 1 i have to agree to some conditions in order to live with their daughter and one of the condition is living with them or they will send me back by filling divorce.

I love my wife alot and i know she loves me too but she is 100% controlled by her family and i am not the type of person who can live a life like that.

I just recently got my C.GC in mid april this year. i just want to know what choices i will have in term of immigration process if they file for divorce

I know i will have to apply for ROC and submit some doc to show that marriage was enter in the good faith.

I have following docs so far

1 Joint Tax document for 2012

2 Joint account from May-212 to now but the balance always been very low

3 I am authorize user on one of her credit card and still pay the balance from my own personal account. I know i can't get the statements without her permission and i also know that her family will never allow her to help me with anything.

4 Her car insurance ID card from Jan 2013 to July 2013 listed me as a insured driver.

5 My car insurance ID card listed her as a insured driver.

6 A lot of pics from different event ( from religious & civil ceremony etc)

7 My tax return doc from my country on same address.

8 couple of other letters on same address.

9 i can get affidavit from people who knows us very well.

I have no rental lease on our name as i was living with them.

What you guys think. In term of ROC process, what should i do? Shall i hire attorney?

Please help!!!

[Dave&Roza 748]

Hi, I am in terrible situation and i really need help.

I came here on K1 visa in march last year. I had a good job in my country but we decided to settle here as she didn't wanna move from US and leave her family. I left everything and came here. I was living with my in laws in their house as our plan was to move out as soon as i will get any job. We got married in April last year. i applied for AOS in May, got my EAD card in Oct and november i got a very good job in IT in a very good company.

But during period, my relation with in laws were getting bad as i didn't bring enough funds to to rent an apartment. Things were getting really really bad. They were not happy from my family which lives back home and they think my family hate their daughter. I explained to them that this is not the case but they always use to taunt me, cursed at me whenever this topic was coming in discussion. They know that i treat my wife very well and she was happy with me but still they were thinking that i could be a different person in future. I know my wife and family for 4 years and in 4 years i never said anything wrong to her or her family. I told my wife to move out with me but she said no as her parents are old. I thought she is right as one day i can be old person too and will need some help. But my in laws were interfering in our personal life a lot which i hated. But i said enough is enough. I told my wife she has to move out with me and we can live in the same neighborhood. She agreed but when she told her family, they all got mad and last week, we had a huge fight.

I gave my wife 2 choices, either move out with me in same neighborhood or get separate. She said her family will decide. Yesterday, her mom called me and told me that i have two choices, 1 i have to agree to some conditions in order to live with their daughter and one of the condition is living with them or they will send me back by filling divorce.

I love my wife alot and i know she loves me too but she is 100% controlled by her family and i am not the type of person who can live a life like that.

I just recently got my C.GC in mid april this year. i just want to know what choices i will have in term of immigration process if they file for divorce

I know i will have to apply for ROC and submit some doc to show that marriage was enter in the good faith.

I have following docs so far

1 Joint Tax document for 2012

2 Joint account from May-212 to now but the balance always been very low

3 I am authorize user on one of her credit card and still pay the balance from my own personal account. I know i can't get the statements without her permission and i also know that her family will never allow her to help me with anything.

4 Her car insurance ID card from Jan 2013 to July 2013 listed me as a insured driver.

5 My car insurance ID card listed her as a insured driver.

6 A lot of pics from different event ( from religious & civil ceremony etc)

7 My tax return doc from my country on same address.

8 couple of other letters on same address.

9 i can get affidavit from people who knows us very well.

I have no rental lease on our name as i was living with them.

What you guys think. In term of ROC process, what should i do? Shall i hire attorney?

Please help!!!

Sorry to hear this is happening to you. My Mother always said that a house is not big enough for two families. Your wife is an adult and needs to move out and live her life. It sounds like she will not let go until her parents are dead. That is too bad. You might want to mention to her parents that they cannot have you thrown out of the US. You are now a LPR with all the rights and responsibilites that entails. If you do get a divorce, you must file for ROC after the final decreee or the 90 days before your GC expiry date which ever comes first. As long as you can show the evidence of what you have that the marriage was entered into good faith, you will be fine. You might want to keep anything that shows the reason the marriage ended was due to the in-laws and their meddeling.

So your choices are more than two. I see them to be 1) Live with the existing situation with the controling in-laws, 2) convience your wife to move out and continue to have limited contact with the in-laws, 3) convience the wife to move out and cut all ties to the in-laws, 3) move out on your own while trying to get your wife to see the "light" and to live her life for herself and not her parents, 4) move out and YOU file for divorce--this will shock the in-laws as they think you are stuck and dependant on the marriage and thus have no power in this situation, 5) you can return to your home country, but given the job you have that would not seem to be a good option IMHO.

You do not need a lawyer for the immigration part, but it sounds like you might want to seek out a good (very good) divorce attorney.

I wish you well,

Dave

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Dude, get out of there already.

No kids right? I seriously hope so. These are the types of bottom feeders that will come at you with their hands out for support (you're not good enough but your money is still good).

IMHO you have enough docs but of course get more if you can, keep all the emails "they" send you and if you can record their conversations (check your local laws).

No person should ever live under these types of duress or threats, especially from so called families.

Gowons rule of thumb with Lawyers is that if you can afford one then it's money well spent, if you get a good one of course.

I wish you the best going forward and please terminate the madness, take charge today. Get your own place and file for divorce. If your Wife really loves you like she should, then she'll be by your side and you can work it out. but you have to move forward as if she's not.

"Yesterday, her mom called me and told me that i have two choices, 1 i have to agree to some conditions in order to live with their daughter and one of the condition is living with them or they will send me back by filling divorce. " The nerve.

Edited May 10, 2013 by Gowon

[JOHNY1 3]

Sorry to hear this is happening to you. My Mother always said that a house is not big enough for two families. Your wife is an adult and needs to move out and live her life. It sounds like she will not let go until her parents are dead. That is too bad. You might want to mention to her parents that they cannot have you thrown out of the US. You are now a LPR with all the rights and responsibilites that entails. If you do get a divorce, you must file for ROC after the final decreee or the 90 days before your GC expiry date which ever comes first. As long as you can show the evidence of what you have that the marriage was entered into good faith, you will be fine. You might want to keep anything that shows the reason the marriage ended was due to the in-laws and their meddeling.

So your choices are more than two. I see them to be 1) Live with the existing situation with the controling in-laws, 2) convience your wife to move out and continue to have limited contact with the in-laws, 3) convience the wife to move out and cut all ties to the in-laws, 3) move out on your own while trying to get your wife to see the "light" and to live her life for herself and not her parents, 4) move out and YOU file for divorce--this will shock the in-laws as they think you are stuck and dependant on the marriage and thus have no power in this situation, 5) you can return to your home country, but given the job you have that would not seem to be a good option IMHO.

You do not need a lawyer for the immigration part, but it sounds like you might want to seek out a good (very good) divorce attorney.

I wish you well,

Dave

Thanks dave for your reply. Her family has no idea that i have received my GC, only my wife knows. They will call me to sign the that condition paper next week and i think that could be a good and only evidence against them.

1) Live with the existing situation with the controling in-laws,

This will be the most difficult thing for me as i care alot for my privacy and independcy. This would meean we have to seek their permission to go out etc

2) convience your wife to move out and continue to have limited contact with the in-laws,

I told my wife not to have any contact at all and i will never force her but just DON'T disrespect them as they are my family.

3) convience the wife to move out and cut all ties to the in-laws,

Same as above

3) move out on your own while trying to get your wife to see the "light" and to live her life for herself and not her parents,

I just moved out last week and living on my own and asked if she wants to come with me she said she can't cos of her family.

4) move out and YOU file for divorce--this will shock the in-laws as they think you are stuck and dependant on the marriage and thus have no power in this situation,

could you please tell me what is the difference if i file first or they file first?

5) you can return to your home country, but given the job you have that would not seem to be a good option IMHO.

Yeah that is the last option as i have left everthing and getting life back is not easy. Here i have good career. My pay and company is excellent.

Dovorce Attorney: what will be the difference if i file myself or attorney?

Edited May 10, 2013 by JOHNY1

[JOHNY1 3]

Dude, get out of there already.

No kids right? I seriously hope so. These are the types of bottom feeders that will come at you with their hands out for support (you're not good enough but your money is still good).

IMHO you have enough docs but of course get more if you can, keep all the emails "they" send you and if you can record their conversations (check your local laws).

No person should ever live under these types of duress or threats, especially from so called families.

Gowons rule of thumb with Lawyers is that if you can afford one then it's money well spent, if you get a good one of course.

I wish you the best going forward and please terminate the madness, take charge today. Get your own place and file for divorce. If your Wife really loves you like she should, then she'll be by your side and you can work it out. but you have to move forward as if she's not.

"Yesterday, her mom called me and told me that i have two choices, 1 i have to agree to some conditions in order to live with their daughter and one of the condition is living with them or they will send me back by filling divorce. " The nerve.

Thanks Gowon. I am already out from their house last week. Yeah we don't have any kids.

I have alot of emails since from 2010 till now. Phone records andall the gifts confirmation which emails was given by me before coming to US

You are right. I told her that i will give her so much love that she will consider her the luckiest girl but its sad that she only listens to her family now.

Alone in this country with these problem is very hard. Specially when there is no one around to help you.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

4) move out and YOU file for divorce--this will shock the in-laws as they think you are stuck and dependant on the marriage and thus have no power in this situation,

could you please tell me what is the difference if i file first or they file first?

Dovorce Attorney: what will be the difference if i file myself or attorney?

If there is significant property and/or children (some people consider these property too) then he who files first mostly controls this (possession is Nine Tenths Of The Law).

If your Wife (not they) files first she may allege all sorts of fluff/nasties (i.e. abandonment, etc) that you may have to defend. But you may just file a simple irreconsiverable (sp) difference thingie).

Personally, I think you should get a free consult with a local Barrister.

PS: I salute that you've moved out. You need to operate from a position of equality if not superiority. Living under them will never allow this.

[JOHNY1 3]

One more question, Does it matter if i file divorce right now as i just got the Conditional Green Card?

[JOHNY1 3]

If there is significant property and/or children (some people consider these property too) then he who files first mostly controls this (possession is Nine Tenths Of The Law).

If your Wife (not they) files first she may allege all sorts of fluff/nasties (i.e. abandonment, etc) that you may have to defend. But you may just file a simple irreconsiverable (sp) difference thingie).

Personally, I think you should get a free consult with a local Barrister.

PS: I salute that you've moved out. You need to operate from a position of equality if not superiority. Living under them will never allow this.

Thanks for your help. I really appreciate.

I will consult with Barrister next week and will let you guys know.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

One more question, Does it matter if i file divorce right now as i just got the Conditional Green Card?

Not totally sure BUT I think as long as you have all the evidence to prove that you entered the marriage in good faith and if you should have proof of the threats as an addition then I think you're golden.

What you want to do now is run searches on VisaJourney to see what others in your situation did. Unfortunately I've seen on here from both male and female USC that think they own the foreigner they brought into the country. So you're not the first. Do some search on here.

[JOHNY1 3]

Not totally sure BUT I think as long as you have all the evidence to prove that you entered the marriage in good faith and if you should have proof of the threats as an addition then I think you're golden.

What you want to do now is run searches on VisaJourney to see what others in your situation did. Unfortunately I've seen on here from both male and female USC that think they own the foreigner they brought into the country. So you're not the first. Do some search on here.

Thanks again. I have done some research the only thing which is bothering me is my bank statements. Our only Join Account balance has been always low like first 3 month around $500 then went down to $20 till now. When i got job in novemember i couldnt trust anyone as my in laws were calculating the money i am earning so i opened another acount and told my wife that she can be joint account holder once we move out but that never happens. So in this case what do you think? as I know that RFE's which ROC applicants are getting clearly states that they want to see if both parites have shared liabilities & finance.

Credit card statements could be best evidence but i am just a authorized user and cant get any statements. If i can get, then i can easily show all the payments made from personal account to credit card.

[Dave&Roza 748]

One more question, Does it matter if i file divorce right now as i just got the Conditional Green Card?

I would worry about protecting your assets, earning potential, and sanity from those in-laws. Then I would worry about immigration as it will take care of itself if you dot all i's and cross all t's when you file for and are then granted a divorce. You do not need to have joint accounts or any of that evidence as you can show how these in-laws are trying to control both of your lives. You did not marry them. You married their daughter, but their constant interferance has casued your marriage to fail. It is on them that the marriage is failing and to a lesser degree your wife. She needs to become an adult, grow a backbone and stand up to her parents--I know this can be very hard especially if the parents are very good at controlling their children.

Now that you have moved out, you need to decide if you are going ahead with the divorce or try one more time to reconcile with your wife. Once you decide to get a divorce, do so. Once it is finalized file for ROC and be done with immigrant for a while. Then you can continue to live your life in your new country. The in-laws want to use your LPR status over your head as that is the only power they have on you. It is not up to them as to whether you are granted a 10 year GC or not. It is in the hands of the USCIS as it has always been. You just need to file a waiver if divorced.

Good luck,

Dave

Edited May 11, 2013 by Dave&Roza

[JOHNY1 3]

I would worry about protecting your assets, earning potential, and sanity from those in-laws. Then I would worry about immigration as it will take care of itself if you dot all i's and cross all t's when you file for and are then granted a divorce. You do not need to have joint accounts or any of that evidence as you can show how these in-laws are trying to control both of your lives. You did not marry them. You married their daughter, but their constant interferance has casued your marriage to fail. It is on them that the marriage is failing and to a lesser degree your wife. She needs to become an adult, grow a backbone and stand up to her parents--I know this can be very hard especially if the parents are very good at controlling their children.

Now that you have moved out, you need to decide if you are going ahead with the divorce or try one more time to reconcile with your wife. Once you decide to get a divorce, do so. Once it is finalized file for ROC and be done with immigrant for a while. Then you can continue to live your life in your new country. The in-laws want to use your LPR status over your head as that is the only power they have on you. It is not up to them as to whether you are granted a 10 year GC or not. It is in the hands of the USCIS as it has always been. You just need to file a waiver if divorced.

Good luck,

Dave

My assets, earning etc is protected as soon they started to show their nature. I have a meeting with them this week. I am trying my best to save this marriage but at no conditions at all.

For Immigration process i am bit worried. You mentioned to show how my in laws are but the question is how to do that? i have no evidence at all against them. Any suggestions pls?

If they have to discuss anything, either they call me or discuss in person.

Edited May 12, 2013 by JOHNY1