jokes...

[SmileyGuy 0]

Hahaha! Great! Thanks Brother Dean and Lucy and everybody!

[LuzyC 0]

Catching The Gorilla

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and

soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

"Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to

the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his

hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on"

"Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?"

"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."

[allynella 0]

Catching The Gorilla

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and

soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

"Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to

the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his

hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on"

"Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?"

"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."

[Fandango 1,439]

Skippy

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her

first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a

fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli

casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she

decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be

embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the

woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".

The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of

minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate.

She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!". Once again the woman smiled

and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she

didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Skippy, get away from her,

before she shits on you!

[LaL 418]

this is sooo bad, im embarrassed.

RING RING (telephone)

little boy *whispers* helloooo? Hi This is XYZ service, I need to speak with your Mommy or Daddy please.

little boy *whispers* they're busy.... OOOK, your mom and dad are both there, but are busy, ok, is there another adult I can speak to?

little boy*whispers* Yeeeessssss, the police... Ok, i really need to speak to an adult, so may i speak to a police officer?

little boy *whispers* nooooo, they are busyyy... OK, mom & dad, both there, but busy, police are there also busy, any other adults?

little boy *whispers* yesssss, the fire department... OK but let me guess they are...

little boy *whispers* yessss, they're busy... Can i ask what they are doing?

little boy*whispers* they are looking for me.......