Domestic Abuse after AOS filed

[Naiaa 0]

Would like to know what my options are with dealing with this - am I supposed to let USCIS know even though I have already filed my AOS in February and have my EAD?

It is not the first incident, atlhough this is the first incident where I have a solid witness (my roommate) who intervened and got him off me. I would like to file a police report, so that these are on file... But, I don't know what can be done (I live in Maryland). This has been happening since a couple months after I arrived last June. My spouse told me that there was no point in reporting it because no one would believe me and he would only get a slap on the wrist, and that kind of behaivor just scares me more. He is bipolar and absolutely requires medication and these usually only happen when he drinks. Is there a way I can get the police to force him to be on medication / not drink? I do not want him to go to jail... I have not had any severe physical injuries from this yet, only sore after pushing him away and a couple scratches on my face.

I am worried they will arrest him. He is the primary supporter in our relationship; so, I have no money and no job. I have no idea how I will eat or pay bills if he is arrested. I leave to return to Canada next week, and although I already had plans to stay two months, I am thinking it would be best if I extended my stay there until things are sorted out here (he gets mental help and attends anger management, something).

There is also the option of me going back home and staying there (which I think I would prefer at this point), but I am worried if I would like to come to work in the US in the future with my degree that if I get divorced from a K1, it is going to look bad on my record and they will not allow me to come here to work? :/ Divorce is definitely being considered since this has been going on for a while. But, he's basically made me worried that they will do nothing or that he can turn this around on me somehow, or that I will never be able to enter the US again.

Thanks, sorry for the long-winded explanation.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Naiaa

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Abusers never stop, they only get worse. Get out now before he ups the ante, which he will inevitably do. You have to ask yourself if this man is worth dying for because one day somewhere down the line he may kill you. Your residency in the US is not nearly as important as you being safe and away from your husband. If you can prove physical and emotional abuse, you may try to file a VAWA petition but this is not ever a guarantee. First and foremost - GET OUT, GET A LAWYER, and FILE FOR DIVORCE.

Edit: It's against the law in most US states to force medical treatment on anyone unless they are being institutionalized, so the police absolutely will not compel your husband to take medication or stop drinking. All they can offer you is a temporary order of protection which I strongly encourage you to obtain. This can be extended by the court. But you need to understand that you cannot help him. You can only help yourself. If he refuses to be treated for his disorder then there is probably nothing anyone can do.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Sarah and Adnan

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

Abusers can get away with it for years because the abused are too scared to call the police for many reasons. Like in your case, he is the main provider, so he knows that you can't survive without him. He will continue beating you until he gets bored and escalates it to something more serious.

Get away from him and call the police to put his ### in jail. Too many abused people (women and men) are willing to put up with it just to tay in the US.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I am worried they will arrest him. He is the primary supporter in our relationship; so, I have no money and no job. I have no idea how I will eat or pay bills if he is arrested. I leave to return to Canada next week, and although I already had plans to stay two months, I am thinking it would be best if I extended my stay there until things are sorted out here (he gets mental help and attends anger management, something).

There is also the option of me going back home and staying there (which I think I would prefer at this point), but I am worried if I would like to come to work in the US in the future with my degree that if I get divorced from a K1, it is going to look bad on my record and they will not allow me to come here to work? :/ Divorce is definitely being considered since this has been going on for a while. But, he's basically made me worried that they will do nothing or that he can turn this around on me somehow, or that I will never be able to enter the US again.

Thanks, sorry for the long-winded explanation.

If you report him (which you should) he WILL be arrested. Once you report it, typically, it is out of your hands and they will then follow the law.

The divorce on a K1 WILL NOT affect your ability to get any other visa, especially if handled in the correct way. It will also NOT prevent you from ever visiting the US again.

Basically, if you are planning on divorce one of a few things will happen.

1. If your divorce occurs BEFORE you get the GC, and you're called for interview (which is a 50/50 chance) then you will most likely be denied because of the pending divorce (I mean he needs to attend the interview so...);

2. If you get approved without interview and the divorce isn't final yet, you're fine. However once the divorce is final you need to file ROC asap. It could look weird that your divorce was so close to ROC approval, and that it was pending during AOS;

3. If you get approved without interview and the divorce IS final, you need to return the GC because it was approved incorrectly;

4. If you get divorced BEFORE getting your GC then you need to withdraw AOS and you will need to leave;

Honestly, if you don't have a job and have no means for support, then I would return to Canada for good, cancel AOS and file for divorce.

It won't affect your future visa prospects.

[Inky 1,110]

Moved from adjustment of status forums to effects of major family changes on immigration.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Find a shelter for victims of domestic violence, file a police report and restraining order against him, get some proof of the abuse and move on filing Vawa. Joint the thread here vawa part 3, there are thousands of victims of domestic violence there.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Find out from local DA office. In NY, there is a special MD1 division of Criminal Court. As my wife was first arrested, I told ADA exactly what you say below: that my spouse would not at all be helped by jail - but would benefit from Mental Hygiene order. So ADA moved the assault case from regular Criminal Court to MD1. Finally, as trial was slated to begin at MD1 some 3 months later, the Defendant cop a plea which kept her out of jail - in exchange for monthly appearances in front of the Judge to monitor her out-patient treatment. She complied with Court mandates for 13 months, during which I had Order of Protection. Then her case was dismissed and sealed. (P.S. In my case, court-mandated treatment hasn't helped one bit. In your case, pray that it does)

Would like to know what my options are with dealing with this - am I supposed to let USCIS know even though I have already filed my AOS in February and have my EAD?

It is not the first incident, atlhough this is the first incident where I have a solid witness (my roommate) who intervened and got him off me. I would like to file a police report, so that these are on file... But, I don't know what can be done (I live in Maryland). This has been happening since a couple months after I arrived last June. My spouse told me that there was no point in reporting it because no one would believe me and he would only get a slap on the wrist, and that kind of behaivor just scares me more. He is bipolar and absolutely requires medication and these usually only happen when he drinks. Is there a way I can get the police to force him to be on medication / not drink? I do not want him to go to jail... I have not had any severe physical injuries from this yet, only sore after pushing him away and a couple scratches on my face.

I am worried they will arrest him. He is the primary supporter in our relationship; so, I have no money and no job. I have no idea how I will eat or pay bills if he is arrested. I leave to return to Canada next week, and although I already had plans to stay two months, I am thinking it would be best if I extended my stay there until things are sorted out here (he gets mental help and attends anger management, something).

There is also the option of me going back home and staying there (which I think I would prefer at this point), but I am worried if I would like to come to work in the US in the future with my degree that if I get divorced from a K1, it is going to look bad on my record and they will not allow me to come here to work? :/ Divorce is definitely being considered since this has been going on for a while. But, he's basically made me worried that they will do nothing or that he can turn this around on me somehow, or that I will never be able to enter the US again.

Thanks, sorry for the long-winded explanation.