After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.

[BarbSami 32]

I am confused, Barbara, do you work at all? This business is his, that is, he puts in the effort and time? Are you a stay at home mom? I dont think it matters how much the morgage is, since half of the house is his and I am guessing will be sold.

Excuse me for saying this but you are acting as if it were your husband's duty to maintain your lifestyle past divorce. He will put in whatever necessary for the kids, he doesnt really owe you anything.

I am employed and have been since the age of 16. Nothing is mines or his in a marriage unless we had it before the marriage. He had 200. before the marriage. You guessing wrong the house will not be sold it is where my children and I will live as usual. It absolutely matter how much the mortgage is it still has to be paid.

I am owed whatever the law of my state says and/or whatever the judge decides.

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[BarbSami 32]

Not really. I think that when you take bad decisions, you should expect to get burned. Not having a career because a man said so doesnt entitle you to a lifetime of paychecks for doing nothing. Honestly, I think alimony is degrading to women, it basically says we are incapable of managing life all by ourselves. Since like you said, we are Romanian, I will tell you a Romanian-American story about my neighbour's daughter who won the lottery visa and came to the US and washed floors and put herself through nursing school, then met a guy and got married. 10 years later, they are divorce, and she makes enough money to support herself, her kids, and her parents whom she petitioned. The ex doesnt pay child support regularly, and that is a problem, but other than that, hats off to her.

No human, man or woman, should be incapable of supporting him/herself and should never ever build their lives around someone else's career.

I am employed have been since age of 16. Its degrading when you do not fight for the rights and best interest of your children. If i was not capable of supporting myself then the government would not have let me sponsor him. My money from saving is what started the business Thank You. My hard work from a teen.

If marrying someone you love was a bad decision then welcome to the real world there are lots of people making bad decisions.

[BarbSami 32]

I am employed and have been since the age of 16. Nothing is mines or his in a marriage unless we had it before the marriage. He had 200. before the marriage. You guessing wrong the house will not be sold it is where my children and I will live as usual. It absolutely matter how much the mortgage is it still has to be paid.

I am owed whatever the law of my state says and/or whatever the judge decides.

I am not acting like anyone owes me anything. i am rightfully asking for what is our from the marriage. He is only 1. I have my children and myelf to take care of.

I was not struggling before I had babies and my children life will remain as it has been. When they are grown and out of college he can have it bc I will not need such a large house.

Before you comment gets your facts right. My parent brought me up to never be dependent and I am not. If a spouse whether it he or I walks out a marriage then that spouse is considered at fault. These are my children and I will do whatever necessary to make thier life as normal as possible. When it was my money that was invested in this business I am right to act like I am owed. Do you see me saying I want everything or I want whats fair for my children and myself.

All I have been saying is I want whats fair for my children and myself. I never though you could open a business with 200. Investing money I had saved was not a bad decision bc It will help me to pay for whatever my children needs are.

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[BarbSami 32]

Barbara, truly I will pray for you during this very difficult time. I do not understand how you could be selfish for asking for more than what is being offered. What amount of money can replace a father's daily presence in the life of their child? In this case he is walking away from them as his own free choice. Responsibity for raising children is the hardest job in the world. Please count on my prayers. May God be with you and your children.

Jannie

selfish? It was my saving that stared the business. So its my children money invested there. Thier father left on his own, if he had wanted to be there for his children I do not think he would have left. My children have the right to be financial stable as it was thier mother finances that started the business. So half is what is due but the Judge could rule otherwise

If fighting for my children is selfish then for my children I will do it.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

This is not an immigration matter. While I'm sorry you're going through this, you don't seem to have an immigration question. So if I may, what exactly are you posting for? Divorce advice? Support?

**Edit - I am not telling you you can't post, it just might help to know exactly what you want/need and for this to be moved to the appropriate forum seeing your divorce will not effect your husbands immigration status.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

I am employed and have been since the age of 16. Nothing is mines or his in a marriage unless we had it before the marriage. He had 200. before the marriage. You guessing wrong the house will not be sold it is where my children and I will live as usual. It absolutely matter how much the mortgage is it still has to be paid.

I am owed whatever the law of my state says and/or whatever the judge decides.

a total of 3 posts removed so far, 1 for a personal attack on another member and one for making a swipe at the op, and the original version of this one removed for quoting one of those posts. this post returned to viewing minus the quote.

regarding moving this thread - this is the best fit for it on the site and it will remain here.

[BarbSami 32]

I Posted here because I have been a member since 2004. I did not post here to offend anyone as it is my life I am speaking of. I needed support, understanding, advice and maybe there was someone that has gone through something similar to my situation. Sometimes you do not want to talk to family and friends. Not one person here knows me personally so they will not tell me something just to make me feel good. They will tell me their thought or how they would go by handling the situation, if they were the one going through what I am now faced with.

None of what Im going through I wish on anyone. Just because my husband is who he was is no indication that all men are like him. Only thing I said was he left me and 2 kids after citizenship, that is how i feel. Not one time have I said anything about anyone except my situation. These are my feelings no one elses. Until someone walks in my shoes they will never get an understanding on my situation.

Thanks again for all the advice, support ,prayers for my children and I.................Barbara

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[BarbSami 32]

Barbara, I am praying for you and your family. May God be with you during this difficult time. Being a single parent is the hardest job in the world. Is there any amount of money that can replace the absence of a father in his children's daily life?

That question you would have to ask their father, he is the one that walked out on them. Money can't replace any parent absense, but what it can do is enable the parent to have the means to provide whatever the child needs are. Also, there are diffrent programs, that you can place your child in to help take up some of the space that a parent has abandon.

Thanks and continue to pray for my children and I...................Barbara

[BarbSami 32]

I cannot speal for your state but here in New York there is a "fair and equal" distribution of assets. If items such as a house or cars were purchased during the marriage you have a right to them in some fashion. Many people will sell the home, split the equity and the wife now goes on to something smaller that she can afford on her salary. Sometimes there will be alimony for the wife. The $1,500 for the kids seems reasonable. However, there could be terms where he needs to contribute to some type of educational trust for a higher education. Also, make sure your attorney makes him take out both disability and life insurance where you are the beneficiary. In the event something happens to him, you are assured of some lump sum income to cover expenses. Regardless of the reasons given, you are just one of many millions of couples who get divorced each year. It happens.

In my state the wife will retain the home with the children, no judge in family court would ever disrupt any child stability. it maybe reasonable for childsupport, but the division of martial property it is not. 1500. is not for the children it is an settlement of the marriage offer. Yes divorce does happen but one wont feel the affect of it until it happens to them.

Thanks.......Barbara

[BarbSami 32]

Personally, I think alimony is, most of the time, grotesque. It started as something fair ("Divorce law in the U.S. was based on English Common Law, which developed at a time when a female gave up her personal property rights on marriage (see Coverture). Upon separation from marriage, the husband retained the right to the wife's property, but, in exchange, had an ongoing responsibility to support the wife after dissolution of the marriage"), and evolved into a sense of entitlement.

Or, because he is financially stable, he could get custody of the kids, and she has to pay him child support.

I am entilted because I invested in the business, basically I am getting my own money. We are spliting it because it became martial property. I am employed and always have been since the age of 16. The court will not give a parent that has walked out on the children, whatever the case may be custody. In reality he is getting support half of a business is pretty good, when someone elses money was used to open it. Losing my children is not even a concern of mines. Securing their future is a very big concern of mines.

[Caryh 5,206]

I'm sorry you're going thru this. You may want to discuss your case with a few lawyers before you select one to represent you. Lawyers seem to come in different flavors, some will tell you anything you want to hear and get you to believe you can get things that no judge will ever award, and those that will be straight with you. The first will just racket up more billable hours while raising your hopes, only to find a let down in the end. The second tends to reduce your over all costs leaving more assets for everyone in the family.

I could tell you where you stand in my own state, but you don't live here and I've no idea how Alabama does it. Much of what you mentioned about fault and leaving the kids because he left the marital home would have zero value here. Which makes me worry you might have the wrong kind of lawyer, but it just might work there. In any case now is the time to educate yourself on local laws and divorce customs. Just about every place in the country has divorce support groups now, I'd suggest you search them out there. Not only can they help educate you, but you'll find emotional support from people dealing with the same issues.

Good luck with this, and may you heal quickly

[Darnell 8,478]

BarbSami - there are two Romanian Harpies that step in on each post about divorce, and sling poo.

You've experienced both of them in yer topic here. IMO/E, ignore them - they will never have a deep understanding of how things work in America.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

BarbSami - there are two Romanian Harpies that step in on each post about divorce, and sling poo.

You've experienced both of them in yer topic here. IMO/E, ignore them - they will never have a deep understanding of how things work in America.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Want some poo on your face too?

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Want some poo on your face too?

Always watch the direction of the wind. You may end up with some.