After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.

[Shiobhan 235]

Know the local culture before filing. how you are raised will never leave you.

Most definitely, I would not even attempt relationships when I was single from certain countries and regions

I have a mind of my own and don't want to be the little woman at home,expect to share a husband, or have

a mother in law who have a say so in everything, I don't think this is an immigration issue OP,but go for the

jugular for your kids, you have put in a lot of time and immigrating headaches behind that mouse of a man/boy

sorry to hear you are going thru this but remember the kids first, as times goes by you will find happiness

[Darnell 8,478]

it generate that amount i have copies of tax doc. We did buid it together but I look at everything we had as our whether it was mines before the marriage I gave him permission to use it as our. I consulted with an attorney which advised me not to meet or sign anything with an attorney that was representing him.

With this, I concur, agree. Sign nothing that his attorney puts in front of you.

YOU WANT ALL THINGS SETTLED at the court.

Sure, can put together 'agreed' things, items, prior to court filing or even court hearing date,

but, they must be agreed.

His attorney represents him, not you. It's in his best interest (that husband fella) to walk away with as little as possible in your hands. It's in his attorney's best interest to make that happen.

But that's not your interest, and it's especially not IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.

I fight foolishness from a lawyer, with another lawyer. His lawyer will play much foolishness in an attempt 'to be cheap' and leave assets in husband's pockets. That's just how it's done - you counter, you argue, you file, using your own attorney - who will fight for you, fighting against foolishness, fighting againt 'cheap'.

Go Get Em, and Good Luck !

[Shiobhan 235]

Read this post on what happened to an upstanding Husband that tried to work things out with his Wife.

Frankly I salute your Husband for not facing you directly and I am sure that he will take care of the kids as evidenced by his very generous offer of $1,500 a month. Two kids don't need that much expense in a month.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/428589-marriage-fraud-and-false-domestic-abuse-charges-after-i-751-filed/?p=6207863

Usually totally agree with you , but no, I think if they worked hard together have a decent life and some funds

she deserves more, It may seem much to the average person but if they worked hard have a certain lifestyle

, she is entitled, not some floosy just enterning the picture. OP should get the house, alimony & the kids.

[BarbSami 32]

Most definitely, I would not even attempt relationships when I was single from certain countries and regions

I have a mind of my own and don't want to be the little woman at home,expect to share a husband, or have

a mother in law who have a say so in everything, I don't think this is an immigration issue OP,but go for the

jugular for your kids, you have put in a lot of time and immigrating headaches behind that mouse of a man/boy

sorry to hear you are going thru this but remember the kids first, as times goes by you will find happiness

Always for my children Thanks Barbara

[BarbSami 32]

Thanks for Standing up for me, because all i want is whats fair to me and my children. It was not I that abandoned anyone. So for my children and I, I will fight for our rights to live as we are custom to. My children life will not be downgraded because of whatever their father has chose to do, Nor will I have to live off the government to help support my children. The money is there for them and I will fight for thier share. Thanks & God Bless Barbara

[BarbSami 32]

With this, I concur, agree. Sign nothing that his attorney puts in front of you.

YOU WANT ALL THINGS SETTLED at the court.

Sure, can put together 'agreed' things, items, prior to court filing or even court hearing date,

but, they must be agreed.

His attorney represents him, not you. It's in his best interest (that husband fella) to walk away with as little as possible in your hands. It's in his attorney's best interest to make that happen.

But that's not your interest, and it's especially not IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.

I fight foolishness from a lawyer, with another lawyer. His lawyer will play much foolishness in an attempt 'to be cheap' and leave assets in husband's pockets. That's just how it's done - you counter, you argue, you file, using your own attorney - who will fight for you, fighting against foolishness, fighting againt 'cheap'.

Go Get Em, and Good Luck ! Thanks, The attorney I have asked about everything from the day we married. He asked did I know of any accounts overseas or any other plce he may hide assets. He also asked about how we met and married, So i think he will do the job. I will fight hard for my children.

[BarbSami 32]

What the attorney that I consulted with also told me, that if i had proof of any monies he sent overseas without my approval whether it was in the form of moneygram, western unions or bankdraft that we could also ask the judge to grant half of it to me. He also stated by my husband abandoning me and the children it shows fault,

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[Darnell 8,478]

yup yup - sounds like your attorney is on the right track, so far.

Remember - dissolution of marriage starts on dissolution of assets ,

and any monthly amounts for child support are SEPERATE from the 'marital split' monies.

[BarbSami 32]

YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN GREAT ON ALL THE INFOR AND ADVICE YOU HAVE GIVEN. I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL OF IT. IT HAS BEEN SO DIFFICULT SHOULDERING THIS ALONE.

i HAVE NOT DISCUSSED ANY OF IT WITH FAMILY BECAUSE I THINK I ALREADY KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS THEY WILL MOSY DEFINITELY SAY.

THANKS AGAIN AND MAY GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU ALL WITH WHAEVER YOUR HEART DESIRE. BARBARA

[BarbSami 32]

yup yup - sounds like your attorney is on the right track, so far.

Remember - dissolution of marriage starts on dissolution of assets ,

and any monthly amounts for child support are SEPERATE from the 'marital split' monies.

He also mention lifetime maint. and he is the one wanted out. I was clueless, I didnt even know I was out but sometimes things that hurt maybe a blessing in disguise. Im hurt but knowing that my children will be secure may help ease it.

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[BarbSami 32]

My babies which are 6 boy 4 girl ask mama when daddy coming home? I said daddy went to visit Grandmother. I dont know if its grandmother or whomever but thats where he is. I just do not want them to worry . Im trying to keep thier life as normal as possible. I have to take it one day and one step at a time and always remember my children are first priority to everything,

[Hector Rivera Jr 1]

To me she has every right to explore her options. I do think she will be eligible for half the assets they have attained while they have been married. Is he including insurance with those 1500$ a month? If not It is not an extremely generous offer.

In my opinion he is absolutely a real Man as he offered to pay $1,500 a month to take care of the children.

Also in most states, the Parent without the children pays for the insurance, so the $1,500 excludes insurance.

I just don't see how $1,500 is not enough for two children especially in Alabama of all places.

Also if he truly makes $200,000 then you should let the Judge decides the proper amount but I doubt that any Man that makes $200,000 will be stupid enough to offer $1,500 a month.

In my own example, I have the means and what I pay is what I calculated that the children needs. Ending a marriage should not be a gravy train for any Spouse. I pay what I think is reasonable (a Judge agreed by the way) and I put extra money in a trust for the children when they get older which is outside of the reach of my Ex.

The more you write the more I see that you are thinking primarily for yourself and not in the best interest of the children. There's nothing wrong with that perse but don't veil your true intent under the guise of the children.

I'm going to duck out of this discusion but I wish the kids the best of luck in dealing with this, the adults will be fine.

[Darnell 8,478]

I think Gowon wrote a lot without understanding the entire scope on the OP. That's ok - everyone, including me, gets it wrong sometimes.

I won't say it's ok, on him, this one time, though.

[destiny64 222]

I will take a look, Thanks. I feel that if the mother did suggest it, he is a grown man and If he did not want to he wouldnt have. What he did was a decision he made.

You are absolutely right, the excuse that his mother is involved is hog-wash. It was his choice, maybe that's something they like to use as an excuse that their mother told them too. LOL, its not like they are 5yrs old, or are they?

[james&olya 1,121]

And after 10 years of marriage she deserves spousal support on top of it!

And after 10 years of marriage HE deserves spousal support as well!!

She cannot work? This is supposed to be the era of equal rights AND responsibilities. If they own a store together then the income has been joint. Custody should be joint as well if he wants that and they should each contribute equally in time and financial support to the children's needs. In other words, no money should be paid by either. (Now if he wants to shirk his parental responsibilities as to parenting time, etc, then you may be right about what a judge should do.)