After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.

[InHisTime 110]

Dear Barbara,

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I know how painful it is....but, just pray and hold on to God.... God never sleeps. He knows everything.

As Vanessa said, you need to hire a family lawyer... to help you get a decent and fair support at least for your children's future. I could say... it is not easy to be a solo parent.....but, I know God would always guide and protect you... just always call upon His name. I am solo parent too for more than 7 years now...in fact, my ex don't even give any financial support since then, not even communicating with the kids, nothing. I never demanded anything from him, as maybe, I am a very independent woman. I am very inspired to look after my kids. God has never left me alone and empty. My kids are very well. I have raised them properly with God's grace..and, important is they have good values, kindhearted and well-educated.

I'm just sharing to you my experience so that you would be strong enough to face realities. I know what you are going through, it's not easy. I pray that God would give you serenity....and strength and wisdom to look up with the needs of your children....they are your precious jewels...at least they are with you...that matters most. Just take care of yourself.

Hope you could move on soon....and choose to live a happy in life. Life is short....don't be bitter....accept it heartily...you never know... blessings come your way. May God bless you and your children.

Edited May 5, 2013 by InHisTime

[Mariana2012 89]

1500. is not fair when the assets gross over 200,000. a year. I have mortage,medical dental vision insurance for the kids , they have to eat have clothing and I should be able to make thier lives as normal as possible. It would require me to spend more time with them than working so the absent of thier father will not be so difficult of an adjustment for them. Taking care of your own children I did not know this was generosity. Never was this about him wanting a divorce but how he went by it. If this was about his up bringing why even marry and have children outside of it. Even if that is the case, no one forced him to marry and have children. Im in the State of Alabama which is an equitable state. I want fair that is all, plus my savings is why we have the assets. Im requesting only whats fair for me and the children. Anyway thanks for your comment. Barbara

I agree, get a lawyer, you should get half of 401k and other retirement plans and investments, half of all assets and half on the overseas account money. And he should be paying you both spousal support and child support. Get a lawyer, don't let him fool you, his support should be based on income not on what he thinks children need. Also being married for 10 years weighs heavily when it comes to spousal support.

Make sure you don't sign anything and don't use his lawyer....

He is a coward for leaving you without telling you anything, you are better off without him.

Edited May 5, 2013 by Mariana2012

[destiny64 222]

I believe you posted here about a month ago, your husband is from Morocco and you own a store together? His mother wants him to marry a woman from Morocco and you have a TMI? Is this you under a different name and country?

[tun2usa 5]

Hi Barbara,

Im really sorry to hear this. It does not seem that he married you for the sake of immigration since it had been 10years of marriage & kids but there are for sure things going on. I would say that maybe he knew someone from tunisia and he basically cheated on you.

As a tunisian, I know how parents can act sometimes and it wouldn't be strange to believe if his mom really asked him to marry someone from home but in this case its hard to believe since he was married for 10 years. If he wanted a woman from tunisia, he would divorce you just after getting his green card not after 10 years. In this case, I assume he is cheating on you & maybe for a while or he planned all of this before coming to the US (to divorce you after getting a citizenship). Its still hard to believe but scammers can sacrifice 10 years from their lives to get a citizenship even if that means living in lies for the whole period.

Since he wants to divorce, do it. After all , life suck with a man who does not want you anymore. However, I suggest you hire an attorney and they'll make sure you and your kids have full rights. Its really bad to leave 2 kids behind and suggesting 1500. If you pay 800 for rent then nothing left for food and other school needs. 1500 is really not enough at all.

I would say 2500 and make him stand before a judge. If he refuses to do so then the law will be against him and he'll be in more trouble so he better come to a solution with you.

Look in his papers, email(if you can) and gather any evidence of cheating so you can use it with your attorney. Send him text messages and let him reply in writing so you can also use that.
This may seem evil to you or to others but honestly, I would never forgive someone who basically used me to get to his goals. You helped him go out of poverty and unemployment and all he can do is leaving you behind. SHAME ON HIM

Good luck dear

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Fair is normally 17% of the gross for child 1 and 10% more for each additional child. So he should be paying about 3 times what he offered.

[Mariana2012 89]

Fair is normally 17% of the gross for child 1 and 10% more for each additional child. So he should be paying about 3 times what he offered.

And after 10 years of marriage she deserves spousal support on top of it! Edited May 5, 2013 by Mariana2012

[Grant PDX 183]

Every state is different to an extent, although the guidelines do tend to be similar for child support. Spousal support is a whole other animal. I have legal custody of my kids but shared physical. At 50/50 parenting time I will pay about 800 per month. If my ex had sole custody I would be paying about 1500 per month, and I don't make anywhere near 200,000 per year, although I am pretty comfortable. At 200,000 per year, if my ex had sole custody I would be paying about 2,500 per month. Plus spousal support, if required.

Given the number, 1,500 per month does seem low. However, until the full monetary story is known, it's impossible to say what the result might be.

The issue isn't what the minimum cost is to raise children, it's ensuring the kids have a roughly equal standard of living to what they had before and roughly equal between the homes of the two parents. If the kids had a very high standard of living predivorce, you can't say that 1,500 per month would be enough to maintain that high standard. There is an expectation that each parent provide some of the cost of support, however, so it's not entirely the husband's job to provide it.

Spousal support will vary, but it could add up to several thousand dollars per month, or more depending on the situation.

[jkedhd 5]

What a retard man., hs s a heart breaking.., i dont knw how ppl easily walks away afer long journey with the person who stood next to them for so long nd ade them be where they want to be and where they are right now..,

You shoud stand up and fight for yur rights lady,

Wish him nothing but loss and break

[Mark and Anna 10]

let me say this, $1500.00 may sound like a lot of child suport to some people, and it is in a way but, as these children grow they will cost alot more ! child suport should be in the amount to which your childrens life style does not go down because of your husband left you. in most states spousal suport is 1 year for every 2 years of marriage, child suport must be paid till the children turn 18 years old, and he is not behind on any child suport payments, But if your children deside to go to collage child suport continues as long as their is not a break in school longer then 6 months between high school and colage, in which he will have to pay till they finish school, also he will have to pay half of their expences while going to school. also he is liable to pay half if not all medical expences till the turn 18 or finish school.

Dont sell yourself short, he may have another family to support but that is not your problem, A judg will make that clear to him. so get yourself an attorny because they know the law, they know what to go after, also if he has a 401k a retirement savings or any saving in the bank you get half of that. so let him go move on with your life and take care of your children ! Remember two important things never allow the children to leave the country till they are 18 or you might not get them back, and dont down grade their dad in front of them, as they grow let them decide how they feel about him, dont sway them or they might turn on you !

[BarbSami 32]

I believe you posted here about a month ago, your husband is from Morocco and you own a store together? His mother wants him to marry a woman from Morocco and you have a TMI? Is this you under a different name and country?

He is Tunisian. My health is fine and there is a business.The friend came to me that about the other woman..i do not own a store with him.

[Amadulove 4]

You are right he could have did it better than that and out of ten years or more of marriage you and the kids are use to a certain life style. 1500 a month may not be enough kids are expensive. You still have to provide a roof over their head, clothes food education. Praying for you. Let him roll with that chick from the other country but you need to make sure that take care of you and the babies. Life is a boomerang he will see later in his life time.

[BarbSami 32]

Dear Barbara,

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I know how painful it is....but, just pray and hold on to God.... God never sleeps. He knows everything.

As Vanessa said, you need to hire a family lawyer... to help you get a decent and fair support at least for your children's future. I could say... it is not easy to be a solo parent.....but, I know God would always guide and protect you... just always call upon His name. I am solo parent too for more than 7 years now...in fact, my ex don't even give any financial support since then, not even communicating with the kids, nothing. I never demanded anything from him, as maybe, I am a very independent woman. I am very inspired to look after my kids. God has never left me alone and empty. My kids are very well. I have raised them properly with God's grace..and, important is they have good values, kindhearted and well-educated.

I'm just sharing to you my experience so that you would be strong enough to face realities. I know what you are going through, it's not easy. I pray that God would give you serenity....and strength and wisdom to look up with the needs of your children....they are your precious jewels...at least they are with you...that matters most. Just take care of yourself.

Hope you could move on soon....and choose to live a happy in life. Life is short....don't be bitter....accept it heartily...you never know... blessings come your way. May God bless you and your children. Thanks and I will. I am not bitter. I have a lot of responsibility mortage, utilities, groceries, car note, medical dental vision ins, car ins, home ins etc and 2 kids to make sure they are alright.

[Amadulove 4]

Also his mommy might have been an influence in his wanting to marry a woman back home but he is supposed to be a man and in my opinion he wanted to do this all the long. He's full of it.

[BarbSami 32]

Hi Barbara,

Im really sorry to hear this. It does not seem that he married you for the sake of immigration since it had been 10years of marriage & kids but there are for sure things going on. I would say that maybe he knew someone from tunisia and he basically cheated on you.

As a tunisian, I know how parents can act sometimes and it wouldn't be strange to believe if his mom really asked him to marry someone from home but in this case its hard to believe since he was married for 10 years. If he wanted a woman from tunisia, he would divorce you just after getting his green card not after 10 years. In this case, I assume he is cheating on you & maybe for a while or he planned all of this before coming to the US (to divorce you after getting a citizenship). Its still hard to believe but scammers can sacrifice 10 years from their lives to get a citizenship even if that means living in lies for the whole period.

Since he wants to divorce, do it. After all , life suck with a man who does not want you anymore. However, I suggest you hire an attorney and they'll make sure you and your kids have full rights. Its really bad to leave 2 kids behind and suggesting 1500. If you pay 800 for rent then nothing left for food and other school needs. 1500 is really not enough at all.

I would say 2500 and make him stand before a judge. If he refuses to do so then the law will be against him and he'll be in more trouble so he better come to a solution with you.

Look in his papers, email(if you can) and gather any evidence of cheating so you can use it with your attorney. Send him text messages and let him reply in writing so you can also use that.

This may seem evil to you or to others but honestly, I would never forgive someone who basically used me to get to his goals. You helped him go out of poverty and unemployment and all he can do is leaving you behind. SHAME ON HIM thanks im not angry or bitter im just trying to get whats fair for me and my children. people fall out of love but the do not have to fall out of respect. mortage is 950. a month so 1500 is nothing but thans for your kind words. I know all will be ok. This was absolutely a shocker.

Good luck dear

[BraveAmnay 56]

Sorry i read your article then was asking my self what reason makes you post this on here to scare other us citzen to marry because the title make things clear (

After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.) What happened is happen after 10years your marriage did not work for many reasons it can happen even with us citizen men .If did not work for you it works for other .i dont believe his mom who ask him divorce if that is true she wil already ask him dont have children with you sorry