We Are a Perfect Match, But... Did We Meet Too Late? Please Help!

[M and C 32]

no offence, but dating a married man? is that really something you wanna get into? how would you like if that was done to you? just saying..

Girl, you deserve someone who is single, and much more than what this guy can offer. I know you have emotionally invested in this guy and it will hurt if you end things with him now. But in the long term, I believe that would further save you from further hurt and unnecessary heartbreak.

[Sandra G. 5,038]

Once a cheater always a cheater. You have bigger things to sort out besides his legal/immigration problem Good luck.

[Ivy and KaiXuan 4]

Like my mother and her father used to say, "A new broom always sweeps good." LOL

[Shiobhan 235]

Why are you trying to sort out his web?

You ask for no relationship advise, but

had to comment.this flakey guy will tear

your hart to shreds don't believe his lies;

if he is so into you he will walk away from

his wife now for you (until he does it to you)

Miss find yourself a single man you can spend

Valentines, Thanksgiving and New Years Eve with.

[MedRoni 161]

Yes, you met too late.

He is married. Plain and simple. He needs a divorce, obviously. Do you really think he is going to divorce her now/soon before any green card is cleared and good to go? Most likely not. Stopping his immigration now a few months in just to turn around and start again with you will not go over well.

It takes two people to create a successful relationship. (Like him and his wife) It only takes one person to make it fail. What do you think three makes?

[Darnell 8,478]

I say you should talk with his wife, and ask if you can move in with them, and share the husband with her.

Then let us know what happens. I think is amazing, fantastic, when two women know bliss with the same man in the same household.

[Enigma11561 336]

I have to agree with some of the other posters here. There is a HUGE elephant in this room. He knew a woman for 2 years. He married her ( love or otherwise). Now ONLY 5 months later he is in love with you? Within 5 months of marriage he has already cheated on his wife? Missy, you really need to think about this very seriously. The implications here here are far reaching on many different levels. Even considering the immigration/divorce issues, you have only known him for a few months and you want to get involved in all this? If he is not happy where he is,for whatever reason, let him deal with his issues first, and then once he is "free", however long that takes, THEN start again. If you are truly his soul mate, and it is meant to be, a time out should not stop you from being with him in the end. Do not be the reason his marriage failed.

Note: how many people here have been separated for many months, years even, during the immigration process but still wind up together.

[BraveAmnay 56]

Hello everyone .The situation is like this someone is married to us woman then he is dating another one and also she is us woman too she fall in love with him .The things is like that if you ask all of them what kind of the person you want to marry one day all will say the right one .I ahte say that both of you and him are completly wrong .I'm sorry for the wife she is married to the wrong person.

[fantonledzepp 159]

Where is the op?

[Natsukiii 35]

Hello everyone,

I am in a strange situation. Several months ago, I met a really great guy and since then, we have really connected, so much so that we can see a future together.

However, the major issue we have is that, before he met me, he had been dating another girl for two years. Please keep in mind that she is American and he is not. Five months ago, this girl asked him if he'd want to take the next step with her in life and, having no other plans in that department, he agreed. As he is a foreigner, paperwork started then and they are now legally married. It's not just an issue of being with the wrong girl and meeting the right one afterwards. It's a mess of legal issues pertaining to green cards, etc. Neither he nor I expected to meet and have such a connection. I feel there is no way that he and I can alter the situation and be together.

Is this true? I hope so much that it isn't!

Does anyone else have any experience with this? We mean no ill will and we in no way wish to disobey the system. We just met at the wrong time and this is heartbreaking for me. Is there no way we might have a future together?

Please help!!

Thank you.

No offense but that is such a messed up situation. I feel bad for the wife. You better re-think what you're doing.

[Shenzhen 34]

So it sounds like he used the 1st wife for a green card. Now he wants to hook up with something better and you are her. What makes you think he won't do the same thing again?

[Boiler 44,855]

Where is the op?

Gone far away never to post again.

Classic VJ thread, should hit 100 replies.

[Jawaree 717]

LOL at Darnell

Edited May 5, 2013 by Jawaree

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Hello everyone,

I am in a strange situation. Several months ago, I met a really great guy and since then, we have really connected, so much so that we can see a future together.

However, the major issue we have is that, before he met me, he had been dating another girl for two years. Please keep in mind that she is American and he is not. Five months ago, this girl asked him if he'd want to take the next step with her in life and, having no other plans in that department, he agreed. As he is a foreigner, paperwork started then and they are now legally married. It's not just an issue of being with the wrong girl and meeting the right one afterwards. It's a mess of legal issues pertaining to green cards, etc. Neither he nor I expected to meet and have such a connection. I feel there is no way that he and I can alter the situation and be together.

Is this true? I hope so much that it isn't!

Does anyone else have any experience with this? We mean no ill will and we in no way wish to disobey the system. We just met at the wrong time and this is heartbreaking for me. Is there no way we might have a future together?

Please help!!

Thank you.

I just realized the time frame.......The honeymoon with his wife is barely over and he already allowed himself to "meet and connect" with you ? Great guy ? Playa I say !

How great can a "cheating and only married for 5 months" man be ?

It sounds like he is laying more than one egg in his basket of convenience. He is a floater. Flush him.

Get respect and integrity for yourself instead of chasing a newly married man.

I will never understand why some women think the man they cheat with will not do the same to them 5 minutes later.

[Pinkrlion 2,673]

OP, you might be the reason he is having problems with his wife. How long has he been here before he was with you? It is in your best interest to leave him alone and find a relationship with someone single.