Language Loneliness

[Karl and Olga 3]

Hello, everybody. probably my husband is the luckiest one, who doesn't have any kind of such problems. I don't miss the motherland, I'm completely happy being here. Jim, you wrote the answer to your question by yourself. Your wife feels isolated being at home alone all of the time. You should realise that she won't ever feel comfortable comunicating only with russians all of the time. If her English is so pour find for her the English courses what are made for Russians, who come to the USA. There she'll be able to learn English quicker in a comfortable conditions for her. On the other hand I know a lot of Russians who speak not so much, but work here. You should push yourself though it's scary from the beginning, not understanding language completely. But without a lot of practice talking with Americans she'll always will feel uncomfprtable among them.

Somebody gave youa good advise, that you should find a russian store, if she wants let her find a job there. then she'll be happy, probably. Though I would never do that)))))) Much better with Americans, work, communicate and make friends.

[Tnic 5]

Hello all,

My wife and I have been back here in the U.S. since October. We live in an area of southern California in which there are very few Russian language speakers, and recently my wife has confided in me that she feels lonely with no one to speak Russian here. She does have a couple of friends that she speaks with occasionally but I think she is feeling isolated. She speaks English a bit, still learning but can communicate, but I do see that she misses having friends with whom she can speak in her native language. Has anyone else experienced this, and can anyone help?????

Thanks!

Jim

I know exactly how she feels after living in UA for the better part of 2 years now. It's tough not having a bud to sit and yak with.

Have you checked out meetup.com? Maybe there are a few folks around that you don't know about.

[randye80 24]

I second (and third) some of the recommendations here so far. It would be much better for her to break out of her comfort zone and try to fit in with other new immigrants that are also struggling with a new language and new circumstances. A part time job, volunteer gig, ESL classes, church group, anything like that.

In the early days my wife spent a lot of time on the russian women forums. She did find a few people to talk with, but overall the situation was more toxic than productive. In our experience, there were a lot of unhappy, bored Russian women in this country who only chat with their Russian-speaking friends and are all too willing to give horrid advice and try to start grief for no particular reason.

And from many of the things they are willing to share freely with their new friends, I am seriously sorry for some of their American husbands (open disdain for their husbands, boyfriends on the side, boyfriends back home, Day 731 Strategies, etc).

[OHL 0]

WaitingStill,

I haven't been active here on VJ for a long time, My wife had the same issue when she got to SoCal back in 2008. This is what we did to fix this issue.

1. Bought a cheap laptop for her parents for Skype. ($300)

2. Trips to the Russian stores in West L.A. (Try this new store, it's away from the traffic of west L.A. http://www.pacificfoodusa.com/index.html

3. Walks/sightseeing - Ukrainians/Russians love being outdoors

4. Order russian language books from ebay and amazon, just surprise her with one. Try the Hunger Games trilogy in Russian.

5. If you have an iPad try these Apps for Russian language content:

KartinaTV Player: Russian/Ukrainian news channels from back home, movies, comedy channels, cartoons and so much more.

iRusRadio: Russian Radio Stations

6. If she's not working, help her find a job.

7. We fly back to the Ukraine once every year and a half.

I hope this helps. We live in the LA area, if you need anything let me know.

[Tnic 5]

Look up megogo.net/ru for Russian lang. movies.

And of course your local cable TV Co. most likely has Russian lang. channels available.

Lots of options available for Tv and radio via the net.

[baron555 934]

We've transitioned from Kartina to TVTeka. The former had Discovery Channel and similar but dropped the programming.

Alla uses TVTeka to keep little Leonid exposed to the language.

[Nick_Moscow 2]

bzzzt, russia withdrawal syndrome alert. The disease is occasionally fatal to the relationship. Also, if untreated the disease may become chronic. Typical recovery time is one year. Russianness should be supplied in controlled doses with the intent of weaning the patient from the dependency. Oversupply may exacerbate the symptoms and delay the recovery.

Whatever you do, DO NOT allow her to find Russkoye Radio streaming online!!!!! This will result in you coming home from work finding your wife in tears blasting the upbeat but annoying pop music of Russkoye Radio.

I second many of the recommendations but given the go-getter attitude common in the Russian women I think finding a job will be her best cure. She'll meet other people, challenge herself, and her time will be fully occupied. If the "Economic Recovery" is taking place in your area as well as it is everywhere else in our country she can instead pursue internships or even volunteering. Yes you'll be spending money on commutes food clothing etc. with no income but the effect on her mood will be priceless. Good luck!

Edited May 2, 2013 by Nick_Moscow

[CPBDDO 5]

Most of this passes with time. We thought local Russian friends would be great, but like others have said, its not so great, especially if they came with their Russian family. She needs time and lots of your attention. Eventually by year 3 my wife didn't really care about Russian anything anymore, its just not as important as living the new life as an American immigrant. But I have a friend who's wife just refuses to learn better English or let go of her backwards Russian superstitions and ways. Everyone's different.

PS watch English TV and movies with subititles, its a great way to further learn our language. I would try to discourage the Russian radio and TV. She will get there, it just takes time.