Biggest Age Difference

[jbanya 19]

I lived in the Philippines for a short while, my fiancée is from there too, and eventually we plan to probably retire there. I partly agree with you. A huge age gap turns an eye there, here, most anywhere.

Do people think there are other intentions… sure… guess what, they think that to some degree with any Filipina with any foreigner. I would bet money that those same people even believe that about your relationship too.

Are there women who feel they will just endure what they need? Yes

Are there women who marry an old man hoping to inherit when he dies? Yes

Are there women who just want a GC? Yes

Are there men who are basically seeking a Filipina just for sex? Yes

Are there men who are think of a Filipina as submissive maid type? Yes

Are there men who think a Filipina will work and improve his financial situation? Yes

Each of those kind of people is probably going to get a rude awakening.

Anyone who has been in PI for any length of time has seen some terrified looking 18 year old girl with a grumpy looking 70+ year old man. And we ALL think the same thing at first sight.

Ann and I have a 20 year gap. But don’t assume.

I know her dad, he is several years older than me, and I get along well with the man and have a lot of respect for him. I asked his permission to marry her. I think at first he was leery of me, I would be more worried if he hadn’t been. I made a promise to him to not only always support her, but to always love and care for her.

As for her intentions. She was NOT looking for some imaginary better life.

She is educated, intelligent, and confident. She comes from a relatively wealthy family. One had ran for political office and has a beautiful home on a mountain with a breathtaking view of the manila skyline at night. Her family has no expectation of us supporting or helping them financially. When we met she was doing very well at her job and in the beginning wouldn't even let me buy her load for her phone to talk to me.

Yes I support her now. She quit her job at my request to be able to spend more time together. We Skype most every waking minuet, and often even while asleep. While I am writing this she is currently napping and I can see her in the corner of my screen. I think our longest non-stop Skype call was 60 hours. The one thing that can upset her or piss her off is if I’m not on cam for too long. And I get out of sorts without her too. Are we a little OC with each other? Yup.

She is 24. Are Filipinas 18-25 a gamble? Sure. So are American women the same age. Guess what American women 30+ are a gamble too. I would bet a Filipina or any woman of any age is also a gamble. Hell, I bet men of all ages are also a gamble. I think its part of being human.

Before her I dated girls here that were even younger than her. (Granted they were insane)

Why was she interested in a white guy? Honestly that part is superficial but easy to understand. She told me about how when she was young she was friends with Mormon missionaries, they were kind, clean cut, and she found it attractive. She still prefers when I wear a tie.

I have a similar history. I was born in Okinawa, and have always had a deep attraction for Asian women. My first crush was on the singer Mitsuyo Nemoto back in 1980. So much so I had special ordered albums from japan, not exactly a common thing back then. My Ann pushes all the right buttons, she is the most amazingly stunning woman I have ever seen.

Sure we talk ####### about ‘those’ couples. We talk ####### about lots of stuff. And we know others probably talk ####### about us too.

The truth is we are perfect for each other and very well aware that if we were with anyone else we would drive them insane. We are too needy, too demanding, too OC, for anyone but each other.

Yep we have an age gap. But don’t read a lot into it. Don’t bet on me dying decades before her either. My family lives OLD and vital lives. My grandmother is still alive and maybe a little insane because she has a crush on a guy in his late 20’s (shhhh, he don’t know). lol

We like the same music, she cried like a baby when I held her and sang ‘your song’ for her. We like the same TV shows and movies, we even sync watching them online together. She is my match, my soul mate in every way!

Congrats on your story! Keep up

[jbanya 19]

OK. I am a Filipina & USC-Petitioner. I turned 55 years old today. He is 30. Here in the Philippines, not only do we turn heads but we also turn what is inside their heads. It is so easy to conclude, bash people, and snicker. Makes other people feel "superior" when they look down on people for whatever reason.

Is it a gamble? What is not a gamble? I was married for 28 years, separated the last few years of the marriage before divorce went final. Was that a gamble?

I came to the Philippines to visit family and what was a 2 week vacation turned into living here for many years. On my 2nd year living in the Philippines, I met someone who became my best friend. Did I plan this? No. Did he plan to become involved with me? No. We did our best to resist being together because of obvious reasons--big age difference and the problems it brings with it. We tried not seeing each other. We tried being "just friends" and that was miserable. We are happiest when we were together.

Do we have problems? Disagreements? Is our relationship dysfunctional? Are we both dysfunctional? Are we both crazy, irresponsible, stupid and foolish? Foolish maybe but definitely not stupid.

Is he after money? A GC? A better life? I would give him the world if I could. Why? Because he inspires me. He is the one who got me to dance. And dance we did... that I lost a bunch of weight. I look much younger and sexier than my classmates. I am glowing. I am happy. He makes me laugh.

I did not even know how miserable I was until I knew what being happy is. They say: It is in knowing what you do not want that you know what you want. This is what I want. This is what I prayed for and God answered my prayers. But God, in His Infinite Wisdom and Mercy, not only gave me what I wanted but what I needed. Just that my God also has a funny sense of humor and does the unexpected. He is the God of Surprises. (My Ways are not your ways.) We are a perfect fit, just that he is... much younger than me. God, you are tooo funny!

So, I tell those around me... "even if you do not understand, condone or agree with my choice, just be happy for me because I am happy."

Today is my 55th birthday. And my Surprise Birthday Present? We got our NOA2.

Peace!

Praise the Lord!

[Glenn & Anne 16]

This is just like the news broadcasts that talk about "Mail Order Brides" the only thing you hear is the negative stories because that is what people tend to talk about. The news never reports about the couple that is happily married for many years and very much in love. Similar to where most will tell ten people when they have a bad experience but may only tell one person about something good.

The Fil-Am marriage still has a much lower divorce rate than the average purely American marriage even with age gaps and cultural differences. That tells me that most are truly grounded in love.

[lyricalan 18]

This is just like the news broadcasts that talk about "Mail Order Brides" the only thing you hear is the negative stories because that is what people tend to talk about. The news never reports about the couple that is happily married for many years and very much in love. Similar to where most will tell ten people when they have a bad experience but may only tell one person about something good.

The Fil-Am marriage still has a much lower divorce rate than the average purely American marriage even with age gaps and cultural differences. That tells me that most are truly grounded in love.

I agree with you Glenn. I wasn't going to post a comment in this thread but something came over me. You know the saying "opinions are like @&%!%$ and everyone has one"? This is a subject and argument that there will never be agreement on. Live and let live.

[lovelovelove13 9]

What exactly are you saying here. That most Filipinas are not marrying the kano for love? It's just a smart financial move? Why do you say the age difference is not accepted in the Philippines? I would be interested in hearing more of what you have to say on this.

BTW, we have a 20 year difference.

Yes, that is exactly what she's saying that's reality. Ask your fiance if she know someone in her age who got married with an OLD PINOY, or better ask her if she will still marry you if you are an OLD PINOY.

Edited April 28, 2013 by lovelovelove13

[reginaglenn 25]

19 yrs. for us. But just like the famous saying,.. age is just a number..!

[jbanya 19]

This is just like the news broadcasts that talk about "Mail Order Brides" the only thing you hear is the negative stories because that is what people tend to talk about. The news never reports about the couple that is happily married for many years and very much in love. Similar to where most will tell ten people when they have a bad experience but may only tell one person about something good.

The Fil-Am marriage still has a much lower divorce rate than the average purely American marriage even with age gaps and cultural differences. That tells me that most are truly grounded in love.

Have faith Glenn, moved on from all the negative feedback!! You are so blessed that you are not handsome and not young still have a young women fall on you, should be proud

I know not all women think that way as I once dated a men who are 18 yrs elder than me and that time I only 22 yrs old, he divorced men and he is so gentlemen, I always look for mature man because they really know how to respect women, and I have the sense of security when with mature man, especially think on when I 40 yrs old, he alrd 58 and I still attractive to him! Especially to the girls who don't have "Father's love" in childhood.. oh my father still alive but in Chinese's Culture (Typical and traditional type) they only love son, and threat daughter is liability

Don't worry what others' view, priority is yourself, if you love her, just go ahead and don't bother the ignorant's feedback here!

My man (American) only highschool graduated but he a shy guy and he very mature + he very tall & handsome it's true

All of us just human, and everyone of us have different gifts, I'm sure you have certain gifts that by GOD and that gifts attracted your wife!! (Imagine not all old man are attractive although they rich or educated or fit!!!)

I wish all of you have a happy marriage with your loves one, regardless what is their race, age, background and culture! All the comments here meant to encourage one another!!!

[Robb&Ann 101]

Congrats on your story! Keep up

Thank you jbanya. wish u all the best too.

[Robb&Ann 101]

Usually the older one have fear than the younger one I guess; he said he feel bad as Asian usually look younger and he actual age 10 years elder than me. Once at London we lined in to visit a Museum, and the counter officer told me "student and age below 21 is half price".

I am a bit naughty, I like to address him "Uncle" as well...

lol. this also happened to us when me and my fiance went to Imelda Marcos' shoe museum. the lady officer asked me, "are you a student?" because the entrance fee is half or cheaper for students. . most of the time, people thinks that i am below 18. but i take it as a compliment because even when i reach 30 or 40 i would still look half of my age.

[jbanya 19]

Thank you jbanya. wish u all the best too.

As long as the relationship is genuine, no fear at all

Concern may just don't have time to get documents complete, as not easy to study and work >.<

[Robb&Ann 101]

As long as the relationship is genuine, no fear at all

Concern may just don't have time to get documents complete, as not easy to study and work >.<

correct. we are confident that our relationship is real. though i / we knew that there are really scams in some relationship (fil-ams), but it is not our business anymore. what is important to us is our relationship. we have many plans for the future. once we are done with this process and are together, we can start doing things together and make those plans to happen. Thanks jbanya!

[Glenn & Anne 16]

Have faith Glenn, moved on from all the negative feedback!! You are so blessed that you are not handsome and not young still have a young women fall on you, should be proud

I know not all women think that way as I once dated a men who are 18 yrs elder than me and that time I only 22 yrs old, he divorced men and he is so gentlemen, I always look for mature man because they really know how to respect women, and I have the sense of security when with mature man, especially think on when I 40 yrs old, he alrd 58 and I still attractive to him! Especially to the girls who don't have "Father's love" in childhood.. oh my father still alive but in Chinese's Culture (Typical and traditional type) they only love son, and threat daughter is liability

Don't worry what others' view, priority is yourself, if you love her, just go ahead and don't bother the ignorant's feedback here!

My man (American) only highschool graduated but he a shy guy and he very mature + he very tall & handsome it's true

All of us just human, and everyone of us have different gifts, I'm sure you have certain gifts that by GOD and that gifts attracted your wife!! (Imagine not all old man are attractive although they rich or educated or fit!!!)

I wish all of you have a happy marriage with your loves one, regardless what is their race, age, background and culture! All the comments here meant to encourage one another!!!

Not handsome?? What do you mean not handsome. Please don't tell me fiancee...she doesn't know! My mother said I was handsome and you must believe everything your mother tells you! Haha.

Thanks for the positive email and the good wishes.

Good luck to all here who are truly, madly, deeply in love. Yes, I stole that from Savage Garden. Haha.

[jbanya 19]

Not handsome?? What do you mean not handsome. Please don't tell me fiancee...she doesn't know! My mother said I was handsome and you must believe everything your mother tells you! Haha.

Thanks for the positive email and the good wishes.

Good luck to all here who are truly, madly, deeply in love. Yes, I stole that from Savage Garden. Haha.

lol... Yes your mom right, you are handsome in your mom & your women's eyes... for me, the only handsome in the WORLD is my tall shy Johnny

All the best and may GOD keep you in peace and happy always!!

[Robb&Ann 101]

Good luck to all here who are truly, madly, deeply in love. Yes, I stole that from Savage Garden. Haha.

i like that song. also include the "i knew i loved you"

[jbanya 19]

lol. this also happened to us when me and my fiance went to Imelda Marcos' shoe museum. the lady officer asked me, "are you a student?" because the entrance fee is half or cheaper for students. . most of the time, people thinks that i am below 18. but i take it as a compliment because even when i reach 30 or 40 i would still look half of my age.

and I bet your fiance.. his face look bad that moment :p

*only those who experienced it can feel it

Seriously I feels glad that I can address my loves one "Old man" although he is not old, but I just enjoying the feeling he spoiled me as little kid