Biggest Age Difference

[patacone 16]

Every relationship has motives - ulterior or not. What is the basis of a relationship? You might argue love. But one-way love is not a relationship. A relationship requires 2-way love. So then what is love? Some type of feeling perhaps. What is the basis for that feeling? You might say the inner and outer beauty of my partner gives me that feeling - that feeling of love. But you don't have a relationship unless your partner loves you back. You give love and receive love in a relationship.

We all give and get things in a relationship - some tangible, some not. We are sources of happiness and pleasure to one another. We provide support, comfort, understanding, care, affection, beauty, trust. We give to each other what each of us wants and needs. Is it wrong for someone to want financial security from a relationship? Do we sometimes compromise in choosing a partner - because no one is completely perfect. If someone has a warm heart, bright eyes, and a glowing smile - everything you want in a person perhaps, but is not your ideal body type, you might still fall in love. If someone is strong and successful with a dynamic personality, but only a 6 out of 10 on the attractiveness scale, you might still fall in love, because other traits are more important to you than looks. If someone is attractive, kind, has a great sense of humor, financially stable, but 20 years older than you, you might fall in love - because those other traits are more important to you than age.

My fiancee is kind and sweet - beautiful on the inside and outside. We have fun together. We make each other laugh. We care for each other. I am 27 years older than she is. Do I mind if one of the things that attracts her to me is a desire for financial security - not really. It's part of who I am - just as much as my personality and the way I look. Does she mind that one of the things that attracts me to her is her beautiful face - I doubt it. It's just one of many things about her that I love.

What matters is how the two partners in a relationship feel about each other - not what the rest of the world thinks.

[duraaraa 203]

Do I mind if one of the things that attracts her to me is a desire for financial security - not really. It's part of who I am - just as much as my personality and the way I look.

I read your post and generally agree with you, but I don't think that your financial stability is part of who you are. If you lost all of your money, would you lose her? If the answer is no, I would say that her intentions are pure and your relationship is good. If the answer is yes, I would worry.

[patacone 16]

I read your post and generally agree with you, but I don't think that your financial stability is part of who you are. If you lost all of your money, would you lose her? If the answer is no, I would say that her intentions are pure and your relationship is good. If the answer is yes, I would worry.

If one of the things that attracted you to your partner was beauty, and he/she became disfigured in an accident, would you leave him/her? Perhaps if it were the only basis for your relationship, you might. My financial stability is very much a part of who I am. It is the result of the characteristics of my personality - hard work, intelligence, sacrifice, responsibility. It's all part of the package - what I bring to a prospective relationship - along with the way I look, my age, etc. I don't worry about why my partner wants to be with me. She says she loves me - and I feel her love. It's real to me. And I know that I am madly in love with her. We give each other what we want and need. If some day she leaves me for whatever reason, so be it. I'm living in the here and now, and right now it feels real; it feels right; and it feels good.

[F&Z 8]

I feel bad for you ilovehim30, to put so much importance on how others think about you or see you. You are really missing out on what it's all about. I am glad you are happy with your man. But people like you who will look down on me when my 25 year younger girl is on my arm...well I won't be thinking about you at all because it's your problem, not ours.

[Glenn & Anne 16]

I feel bad for you ilovehim30, to put so much importance on how others think about you or see you. You are really missing out on what it's all about. I am glad you are happy with your man. But people like you who will look down on me when my 25 year younger girl is on my arm...well I won't be thinking about you at all because it's your problem, not ours.

DITTO!!

[ilovehim30 34]

lol.i dont put so much importance to what people will think because first of all i dont have the relationship that you guys have.and i dont get negative stuff from them.

and im just being real and im just saying the truth and i can see that you guys are offended lol.SORRY

[Jose&Karolina 5]

haha.. my husband is 65 and i am 21 but this july i am 22 so i consider it 43years diff. we got married when i was 19 and my husband is 62 that time.. age is not really that matter!

wow your age difference is longer than both my parents have been alive! love works in mysterious ways me and my fiance have only a 2 year difference, 3 for a few months

[ilovehim30 34]

if im totally missing out on what this is all about then tell me cuz im young and i guess i dont know yet what love and life is.since you guys are old and you know everything then tell me!

[Bayareaguy 156]

if im totally missing out on what this is all about then tell me cuz im young and i guess i dont know yet what love and life is.since you guys are old and you know everything then tell me!

Well, there are a whole lot more important things in life and a relationship than being around the same age as your partner.

[ilovehim30 34]

if age doesnt really matter would you let your own precious daughter to be with someone as old as you?

if that doesnt matter then you would highly recommend it to her,will you?

[DaRoq 36]

This topic always turns stupid. I'm just glad my Fiancee will never have to deal with anyone questioning her choice in me. Our problem is that people automatically think she's "mayabang" because she's with "a guy like me" (her words).

[azndrew2 3]

hey u kno what, I totally agree with ilovehim30. I'm the petitioner and Filipino as well and my fiancé is filipina with no age gap. I understand the whole concept with young filipinas going with older white Americans. I was born in the ph. so I kno the drill wen you see a interracial couple that looks to be what u think it is. most of the Filipinas going with older white men are just in to have a better future, love is just 2nd to them. even my fiancé agrees.

[Bayareaguy 156]

if age doesnt really matter would you let your own precious daughter to be with someone as old as you?

if that doesnt matter then you would highly recommend it to her,will you?

If I had a daughter, I would hope that I would raise her to be independent and inteligent enough that would trust her judjement and gladly accept whomever she chose as a partner, as it would be her choice. I also would also hope that she would not be such a spoiled brat as to think she was entitled to control her father's decisions.

I wouldn't reccomend any particular age.

As for a parnter with the same age gap as I have with my fiancee? would't bother me in the least...I am 12 years older than my fiancee, so does that make me a sicko pervert? I am not clear on whether that constitutes as too big of an age gap or not. Please educate me on this...what is the "acceptable" cutoff?

Edited April 28, 2013 by Bayareaguy

[duraaraa 203]

If I had a daughter, I would hope that I would raise her to be independent and inteligent enough that would trust her judjement and gladly accept whomever she chose as a partner, as it would be her choice. I also would also hope that she would not be such a spoiled brat as to think she was entitled to control her father's decisions.

I wouldn't reccomend any particular age.

As for a parnter with the same age gap as I have with my fiancee? would't bother me in the least...I am 12 years older than my fiancee, so does that make me a sicko pervert? I am not clear on whether that constitutes as too big of an age gap or not. Please educate me on this...what is the "acceptable" cutoff?

To me, 12 years is not suspicious, but something like 35 years plus would be more suspicious. After all, if you are 20 and you marry a 60 year old, let's imagine that you have children. When the child turns 20, his father would be over 80, which is longer than the average life expectancy in the U.S. It would make it very difficult for the older partner to be involved in the children's lives, wouldn't it?

If my stepdaughter (17 years old) found and wanted to marry a 60 year old man, I would be very confused, and would try to figure out her intentions. She watches Korean pop videos with guys in their 20s, so I take it that's the type she's attracted to. I would also be concerned that I would have a son in law older than I am.

With that being said, there is a long history in the world of older men marrying much younger women. There is a history of women being sold to men to be wed, in many countries. There are also cases where a younger woman is genuinely attracted to an older man.

What I would be concerned with is that there are many scammers in the Philippines, and many webpages where people talk about their Filipina fiancee ruining their lives. Lying about being battered, ditching their husband as soon as they get a green card and living off of them anyway, and doing other such things are all too common. Of course there are genuine, good people from the Philippines, just as there are from every country, but if you look around the internet and read people's stories, it's quite scary to think what could happen.

Edited April 28, 2013 by duraaraa

[jbanya 19]

Wow and I thought 12 years difference was a lot before I met my Fiance in person It turned out we get along so well it doesn't matter at all.

So I understand finding one's soul mate in a person that's far away from our own age, but on the other hand... don't you folks fear the future a little? (the question is for those who are in love with the older person)

Usually the older one have fear than the younger one I guess; he said he feel bad as Asian usually look younger and he actual age 10 years elder than me. Once at London we lined in to visit a Museum, and the counter officer told me "student and age below 21 is half price".

I am a bit naughty, I like to address him "Uncle" as well...