Biggest Age Difference

[storminnorman 9]

That is the truth though.People will never believe that its all for LOVE even if you both know it is.

And people wont tell you that theres an issue with your age because filipinos still tries to be nice and hospitable.

why am i saying this stuff????

i have talked to a lot of filipina that is with old guys,

i asked if that is what they wanted and they say you know why im doing this.just understand.

some told me that i just want to get there and see what happens.

some says i dont want to do this but i have to.

the best question is do you think your wife/fiancee will date you if she is already here in the US????

As always I respect you for your opinion. It is a wonderful world where all opinions and lifestyles coexist. I only care about my Love for my fiance, not an issue what others think. My children who I raised as a single parent also have accepted my fiance as they know their dad and wish for him to be happy.

Take care, stay happy, and most important be true to your heart and yourself.

[F&Z 8]

That is the truth though.People will never believe that its all for LOVE even if you both know it is.

And people wont tell you that theres an issue with your age because filipinos still tries to be nice and hospitable.

why am i saying this stuff????

i have talked to a lot of filipina that is with old guys,

i asked if that is what they wanted and they say you know why im doing this.just understand.

some told me that i just want to get there and see what happens.

some says i dont want to do this but i have to.

the best question is do you think your wife/fiancee will date you if she is already here in the US????

I think what you are saying here is really disingenuous. Who cares what others think? If you love each other, then you love each other, period. And who cares if you would date each other if you were both in the states? They're not both in the states, so it's not even worth thinking about. Why create problems where there are no problems? If you love someone, you love them. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that.

[Glenn & Anne 16]

To love and be loved is a risk at any age and in any culture. You risk being hurt. I searched for almost 5 years to find the right woman, a woman with a wonderful and heart, beautiful on the inside is so much more important than outer beauty. It is just a bonus that she is beatiful on the outside also. No one can ever say they truly know the future but I have no doubts about my fiancees intentions or most especially her love. Yes, we all have heard the stories about those who are scammers or not marrying for love. Perhaps you even know someone personally that has been hurt like that. I have met others on the road who are happy together, married for years and years. There seem to be many more succesful Fil-Am marriages than those of the domestic variety. Some of what other people may think is only jealousy anyway, have you considered that?

[Robb&Ann 101]

i asked if that is what they wanted and they say you know why im doing this.just understand.

some told me that i just want to get there and see what happens.

some says i dont want to do this but i have to.

and this would fall under here

Are there women who feel they will just endure what they need? Yes

somehow it is true. as i've also heard people saying like that.I also knew people doing like that... I went to a place few weeks ago, some people were asking me who will

be my husband..and i said he is an american.. then they shared stories about people whom they know who had been through a relationship with an american. i

was surprised when they told me straight to the point that the filipinas they knew only wanted a foreigner to get a GC and to work and to be able to send money

to their family.. but they also told me that some filipinas divorced their american husband bec they suddenly changed and became selfish once the filipina is

already in the states..

i felt ashamed when they said that without having a second thought coz they might also think the same of me without knowing what type of family where i came from.

and that money is not what's in my mind when finding my man..i'm just glad i found a man who don't owe any in the states except having the responsibility to support

the children.. and has enough money to support me.It don't even came into my mind the idea of supporting me while waiting for him to visit me and finish the

visa.. i also don't even think of how important having enough income to support the family as i have no idea before about how much the

american should have in their savings or how much they should be earning.. i did not asked for someone who has money but HE

gave me a software developer. who at least earns money that is enough to support our own family.

sad to say but the filipinas they are referring to are those in their provinces and are not well off. and most men where attracted with girls from

there. i am just glad that i have the confidence with me that no matter what happens i know i can always stand up and get back to shape.

that is why when i decided to be with my Robbie, i know i am willing to give up

what i wanted just to give much of my time with him and won't regret.. but, like what me and my fiance do, we talked about these stuffs and

all we want to do is to not go with their way.. all we want to do is to have our own world and not think of the bs stuffs that others do.

we knew it exist.. it is somehow true but it is none of our business.

we will just mind our own relationship. me and my fiance are open to each other..we talked everything under the sun. everything...

but me as the girl, i made my own decision. i made my choice. I did not go with an older man because i have no money or because i have a responsibility

with my family. ohhhh i'm just glad that my father has his own business and my father is smart enough to tell me that i am not responsible for my

siblings.lol. and i also told to my family that i told rob that he will never be responsible for my family (just like what is usually

happening with fil-am relationships)..i told rob that my family has enough money to support themselves and i am only supporting for myself..

and if in case my family needs our help soon, then we will help as long as we have more extra.. whatever other couples do, whatever some

filipinas plans to do, is none of our business anymore. it's their own choice and decision. Me, i made my own choice to be happy. we made our

own choice to be happy . we knew about this, and so we knew what we should do so that this won't happen to us.One day, I closed my eyes

and thoughtfully think of a man who i want to be with.. with all the concentrations, the energy, that i spent, i could not believe that he was given to

me. I cannot elaborate it more but he is who i wanted to be with. im just thankful. and i know that Rob won't leave me hanging in here,

i know that once im in the states he wont tell me, ann i could no longer support you. Dang! that would s#$%S! just like what happened to someone..

so see.. i guess this is not only with the filipinas..it also happens to other couple.. and also, it is not only bec of one person but it takes 2 to tango..

i'll just wish everyone that they may find the right one for them. and if they already found the right one, i hope they take good care

the relationship they have.

Edited April 26, 2013 by Robb&Ann

[ilovehim30 34]

jealous?cmon why would i be jealous?

im married to the guy of my dreams.he is fit young and educated.

we dont get weird looks when we walk together.

no one thinks im using him and no one thinks that he is perverted because we are about the same age.

lol this is so funny.

FACT:

no girl has ever dreamed of being with someone as old as her dad.

if a girl is with an old guy its because she has other intentions or she has issues with herself.

LOVE cant cover you from all the judgement you will have with this kind of relationship cuz you have feelings.

to have this kind of relationship is living a life of judgement.spotlight is on you.

yes you may fall inlove but its never gonna start with love,theres always a thing before this love arrives.

I am not so against it,infact i feel bad with those girls who has to be with someone so old than them to feel loved or to fullfill what they want.

i didnt want to argue about this,i just read a post where he says that philippines accepts this kind of relationship and all i want to say is that its NOT TRUE.

[Robb&Ann 101]

im married to the guy of my dreams.he is fit young and educated.

we dont get weird looks when we walk together.

i'm glad the you found the guy of your dream.. somehow you have the point with what you were saying. however, i doubt that you don't get weird looks from other people when you both were walking. as i am sure people would still look at you because you are from different race. different color.. mixed couple... this also would probably happens to other couples who are mixed... it could be fil-am , american-australian, american-indian, american-thai and many more..

[duraaraa 203]

i'm glad the you found the guy of your dream.. somehow you have the point with what you were saying. however, i doubt that you don't get weird looks from other people when you both were walking. as i am sure people would still look at you because you are from different race. different color.. mixed couple... this also would probably happens to other couples who are mixed... it could be fil-am , american-australian, american-indian, american-thai and many more..

I disagree with that entirely. Two people can be any race they want and be a couple, and I don't think anyone would look at them weirdly, here in Los Angeles. It's extremely common. I'm sure it's extremely common in Arizona, too. Obviously, in countries without much racial diversity, a mixed couple, or even a lone foreigner can be looked at strangely.

On the other hand, if I see, for example, and let's make an extreme example, an 80 year old man with an 18 year old girl, and they are kissing? I would look at them weirdly, at first. It would be hard not to think the man is being used. Of course some people are attracted to those much older than they are, but it's not something that I think is extremely common.

This is coming from someone with a fiancee a decade older, as well.

Edited April 26, 2013 by duraaraa

[Robb&Ann 101]

I disagree with that entirely. Two people can be any race they want and be a couple, and I don't think anyone would look at them weirdly, here in Los Angeles. It's extremely common. I'm sure it's extremely common in Arizona, too. Obviously, in countries without much racial diversity, a mixed couple, or even a lone foreigner can be looked at strangely.

On the other hand, if I see, for example, and let's make an extreme example, an 80 year old man with an 18 year old girl, and they are kissing? I would look at them weirdly, at first. It would be hard not to think the man is being used. Of course some people are attracted to those much older than they are, but it's not something that I think is extremely common.

This is coming from someone with a fiancee a decade older, as well.

This is Robb..

I have dated women of the same and different ages, and of the same and different races.

ANY difference in a couple gets some degree of attention!

Maybe NY or LA is different than 95% of the rest of the planet. I've been to 22 countries and experienced the same.

I don't see much distinction between 'weird looks' vs 'looks'.

I have never seen anyone look at us with a strange expression on their face if that's what you mean.

But I KNOW for a fact that when I was married to an African-American woman of the same age we got 'looks'. I see people give bi-racial couples an extra look in stores here in Phoenix, and this is one of the largest cities in the US.

You do become oblivious to it after a while, but pretending it doesn't exist is like saying racism does not exist. The more glaring the difference the more looks. Its ignorance to pretend that it's not all part of the same boat.

Here is a good example… When I go to Walmart alone as a white guy the door greeters never checks my receipt. If I was with a woman the same age and race still not checked. If I was with a younger woman or a woman of a different race, bingo they need to check.

People look at what stands out, and unless there is a HUGE diversity of ages and races, you stand out.

I have a form of MD and on rare occasion I need to use a cane. When I use the cane, they look. When I don't, they don't. A look is a look… your guessing what they think and adding 'weird' to the event. They looked, your different, accept it and move on.

If looks bother you then you have a bigger problem. What are you going to do when some as makes a directly racist comment about your partners race, or accent, or what have you.

Discrimination takes MANY forms. Subtle and obvious. You're living in a fantasy world if you think it's not present just under the surface.

Edited April 26, 2013 by Robb&Ann

[duraaraa 203]

Discrimination takes MANY forms. Subtle and obvious. You're living in a fantasy world if you think it's not present just under the surface.

Anything unique or different stands out, yes. It will get attention. The question is whether it will get negative attention, positive attention, or neutral attention.

I think that with the younger, modern population, inter-racial couples are nothing unique. I seriously doubt people will receive any negative attention for being with a partner of a different race -- I see it every day. My own fiancee is of a different race, for that matter.

I have every reason to believe your relationship is genuine. I'm not doubting your relationship in any way. The only point I am trying to make is that there are many women, and men for that matter, willing to pretend to love someone to get some kind of benefit. I think, in 100% honesty, that if the United States allowed Philippine citizens to live and work in the United States without any form of green card, there would be many less older American/younger Filipina couples. Do you disagree?

[Robb&Ann 101]

Anything unique or different stands out, yes. It will get attention. The question is whether it will get negative attention, positive attention, or neutral attention.

I think that with the younger, modern population, inter-racial couples are nothing unique. I seriously doubt people will receive any negative attention for being with a partner of a different race -- I see it every day. My own fiancee is of a different race, for that matter.

I have every reason to believe your relationship is genuine. I'm not doubting your relationship in any way. The only point I am trying to make is that there are many women, and men for that matter, willing to pretend to love someone to get some kind of benefit. I think, in 100% honesty, that if the United States allowed Philippine citizens to live and work in the United States without any form of green card, there would be many less older American/younger Filipina couples. Do you disagree?

Over all I agree with you duraaraa and also ilovehim30. Like I said originally, I KNOW that there are men and women with some ulterior motives.

My point is that we ALL get painted with the same brush. We all get looks. People have preconceived ideas about all of us who are different. The looks may be benign, but it’s there.

How often do people use the term ‘mail order bride’ about couples who go through the immigration process and may or may not meet online? They do it all the time with a preconceived idea that is more often wrong.

What’s the difference of a couple that meets on match.com or an international dating site? Are dating sites in the US and more successful or safer? There was even a mass rapist recently on the news from christianmingle.com. The divorce rate for intercultural couples is less than half of the standard divorce rate, but the perception is the opposite.

Ann and I are 20 years different in our age. And she looks young for her age, she could pass for under 18 if she wanted. We get looks sometimes, not anything obvious, just glances. But it’s the same as when I’ve dated women of other races and the same age.

All I disagree with is when people say “no one looks at us”. Ok their mouth may not be open and they may not gasp in horror, but they look. The perception is still there. Do not pretend that strangers on the street see you as the same as any other couple. If you think they aren't looking then you’re just not paying attention.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Anything unique or different stands out, yes. It will get attention. The question is whether it will get negative attention, positive attention, or neutral attention.

I think that with the younger, modern population, inter-racial couples are nothing unique. I seriously doubt people will receive any negative attention for being with a partner of a different race -- I see it every day. My own fiancee is of a different race, for that matter.

People who are spoiling for a fight will assume that people are judging them for being in mixed race relationships. Those are the people who see a persecutor around every corner, who get defensive before anyone says a peep. In my opinion, those people have major insecurities about their relationships.

I agree that in LA it's a non-issue. My boyfriend and I are both mixed race ourselves, and the only time anyone looks at us weird is when we go to the Korean mall and the old ladies judge me for not being Korean, and him for being insufficiently Korean (his dad is white). Similarly no one bats an eye in my hometown, nor in his. But in LA it's a definite non-issue.

[Brandon and Sugar 8]

I might be dubious, but I would at least give it a chance and hope for the best. As I say to my kids, I don't always agree with every lifestyle choice you make, but I leave it to you to decide what's best for you. I am much more of a live-and-let-live person than my kids are - they are more judgmental - a trait passed on from their mother's side of the family (haha!).

I just hope everything goes smoothly with the I-129F and the interview. I'm not sure yet whether I will be able to attend - not much vacation time left (I'm going to visit my fiancee for 2 weeks at the end of May), and I also need to save some time to travel back to Philippines to accompany my fiancee and her two kids on their trip to the US once they have their visas.

Oh your kids are not judgemental. If my father is like you, I would definitely ###### slap the girl and hate on my dad. Yea..I am spoiled and selfish like that and it's natural. CERTIFIED DADDY'S GIRL HERE!!

I thank God my father is a very wonderful man, he never cheated or put us in a hurtful situation like humiliating me and my family by him getting another woman, specially woman who is at my age, worse younger than me. I love my dad sooooooooooo much, he's the best and most awesome dad ever!!!

[duraaraa 203]

People who are spoiling for a fight will assume that people are judging them for being in mixed race relationships. Those are the people who see a persecutor around every corner, who get defensive before anyone says a peep. In my opinion, those people have major insecurities about their relationships.

I agree that in LA it's a non-issue. My boyfriend and I are both mixed race ourselves, and the only time anyone looks at us weird is when we go to the Korean mall and the old ladies judge me for not being Korean, and him for being insufficiently Korean (his dad is white). Similarly no one bats an eye in my hometown, nor in his. But in LA it's a definite non-issue.

If you learned Korean really well, and talked to the old ladies in Korean, they would love you immediately, and probably give you presents.

I speak Japanese, and you wouldn't imagine how much love I get from the Japanese community.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

If you learned Korean really well, and talked to the old ladies in Korean, they would love you immediately, and probably give you presents.

I speak Japanese, and you wouldn't imagine how much love I get from the Japanese community.

It would not overcome the judging they do of him being only half-Korean. So nice to be called a "son of a #######." They'd probably be cooler with me than with him!

[duraaraa 203]

It would not overcome the judging they do of him being only half-Korean. So nice to be called a "son of a #######." They'd probably be cooler with me than with him!

I guess Tasha was right...