Biggest Age Difference

[duraaraa 203]

My father loves me sooooooo much and my mom too, he respects his children and his wife. I guess we have a perfect family that's why I don't understand a guy like you marrying a young woman. No offense but I would never ever marry a guy whose age is like my father, worse my grandfather. I can't imagine waking up in the morning with an old man. It's just disgusting.

Some people (I think it is very rare) actually like to wake up with an old man. Some people have fetishes for older people, etc. It's entirely possible for someone to fall in love with someone of any age, with no ulterior motives -- it's just very rare.

Other people (I think this is more common) don't like waking up with an old man, but love waking up to a full wallet and the ability to live a lavish lifestyle in a first-world country. They are willing to pretend to like waking up next to an old man for this. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but this is essentially a form of prostitution. With that said, this is how it used to be in the world. A man would sell his daughter to the man who could provide the best life for her.

Personally, I think we should open the borders more. Let the people who want to live in the U.S. do it without having to pretend to fall in love with an American. If we were to make it easy to live in the U.S. for people from the various countries famous for fraud, there would be no reason for them to defraud Americans.

Edited May 5, 2013 by duraaraa

[Bugs 455]

12 years difference between us. It's something we never even think about, so it obviously isn't an issue. The only thing that might bother me slightly about it is the fact that I will likely pass away some time before she does. But this will only get me more proactive in ensuring that she is well taken care of financially when I do.

[leeannakondor 7]

20years difference and no noa2 yet still waiting after 9months.

[patacone 16]

My father loves me sooooooo much and my mom too, he respects his children and his wife. I guess we have a perfect family that's why I don't understand a guy like you marrying a young woman. No offense but I would never ever marry a guy whose age is like my father, worse my grandfather. I can't imagine waking up in the morning with an old man. It's just disgusting.

Age is a state of mind. As for waking up with an "old man" - don't knock it til you've tried it. There are plenty of us old guys who can run circles around guys half our age. With age come experience, wisdom, tolerance, patience, perspective, understanding, and a richness and depth of love uncommon in most younger people. For some people these qualities are more important than youth. I guess you're simply not one of those people.

To each one's own. I hope you and your fiancée have a relationship as rich and lasting as that which you have found in your own family. I had 27 years with my ex-wife - many of them good. We raised 3 wonderful children, and have many fond memories. But, somewhere along the way the passion fell out of our marriage - eroded over time like bare soil on a mountain after many seasons of rain. Over the last several years of our marriage we led parallel lives. There was still care and respect - but we were not in love. We had fallen out of love - the foundation of our marriage had crumbled, and there was no chance to rebuild it.

I was not willing to accept a life of passionless co-habitation. My heart, though old, is still strong and full of love. Like the smoldering embers of a fire left long untended, my heart waited and longed for someone to stir it back to flame. Thanks to my fiancée, love and passion burn brightly in my heart again. I love her more deeply than I have ever loved anyone before, and she gives me more love and joy than I have ever had. I have found my soul-mate.

So curse me if you will for still wanting love and passion in my life, and for finding it in a woman much younger than I. Meanwhile, she and I will treasure each moment we have in our lives together.

[patacone 16]

i believe that this is an issue based on bad publicity, track record, and common sense. obviously this is only just an opinion, but i read about a girl that is 21 and her husband is 65. let your common sense kick in here. in 20 years he will be 85 and she will be 41, that is a statement that speaks for itself. there is no explanation needed to tell you what is wrong there, and of course the lower the age you go the less of an issue it is. now everyone has there own line to draw at making that determination, i PERSONALLY think that anything over 12 or 13 years is pushing what society deems as appropriate, and obviously this is my OPINION and i DON'T CARE who gets married and i know i WILL BE FLAMED to hell in this thread, but this is my opinion so DEAL WITH IT but seriously though if you 2 are TRULY TRULY in love that is SOO AWESOME and i wish the best for you both. if that girl or guy is playing you like a Jim Belushi on a harmonica then that is the lowest life form on this earth and needs to be truly unhappy for their entire lives. again this is only opinion and even though i think that 20 year difference is CRAZY who the hell am i to you? nobody. so don't worry about the naysayers and live your lives. i know i will.

I wasn't born yesterday (obviously not, or this age discussion wouldn't be relevant to me - haha). I realize that financial security is one of the things in the mix when it comes to my relationship - but I also know that it's not the only thing. And as I stated before, it really doesn't bother me. I am confident enough to know that my fiancée loves me for my other qualities as well.

Let's face it, there is always something about someone that first attracts you to them. More often than not it is their appearance - but sometimes it's their intellect or sense of humor, or a special talent, or maybe even financial success. Then, as you get to know them, you discover their other qualities. Some you like; some you simply tolerate or overlook - so long as they are not deal-breakers. In the end, if you like the mix of qualities as a whole, and your partner feels the same, you may end-up in a serious relationship. To me it's as simple as that.

Thanks for not being judgmental. I'm with you - live and let live.

[patacone 16]

20years difference and no noa2 yet still waiting after 9months.

Hang in there!!!

[Bayareaguy 156]

You know, I happen to think it must be just awful to be with a spoiled b!#(4y brat (the phase "someone, somewhere is tired of her s#!t" comes to mind), but just because "I" think so, doesn't mean anyone else does, nor do I feel the need to keep posting such ad nauseum.

[Juliet and Steve 93]

Wow this topic has really kinda gone places I didn't expect. We have one young lady here saying quite bluntly that in her culture it is NOT acceptable for a young woman to LOVE an significantly older man.

Actually, it seems to me that what we have here is one young lady who says quite bluntly that most others are simply after a green card, except her.

This seems a bit odd from a culture where filipinas hate to be judged and who culturally, at least as I see it, tend to avoid judging others.

But it is good to know that there is one woman who is not simply after a green card.

[Brandon and Sugar 8]

Age is a state of mind. As for waking up with an "old man" - don't knock it til you've tried it. There are plenty of us old guys who can run circles around guys half our age. With age come experience, wisdom, tolerance, patience, perspective, understanding, and a richness and depth of love uncommon in most younger people. For some people these qualities are more important than youth. I guess you're simply not one of those people.

To each one's own. I hope you and your fiancée have a relationship as rich and lasting as that which you have found in your own family. I had 27 years with my ex-wife - many of them good. We raised 3 wonderful children, and have many fond memories. But, somewhere along the way the passion fell out of our marriage - eroded over time like bare soil on a mountain after many seasons of rain. Over the last several years of our marriage we led parallel lives. There was still care and respect - but we were not in love. We had fallen out of love - the foundation of our marriage had crumbled, and there was no chance to rebuild it.

I was not willing to accept a life of passionless co-habitation. My heart, though old, is still strong and full of love. Like the smoldering embers of a fire left long untended, my heart waited and longed for someone to stir it back to flame. Thanks to my fiancée, love and passion burn brightly in my heart again. I love her more deeply than I have ever loved anyone before, and she gives me more love and joy than I have ever had. I have found my soul-mate.

So curse me if you will for still wanting love and passion in my life, and for finding it in a woman much younger than I. Meanwhile, she and I will treasure each moment we have in our lives together.

I believe I owe you an apology, I was too harsh on my previous statements. I'm sorry, please have a happy life, no one in this earth deserves a sad and lonely life.

[Juliet and Steve 93]

Leave Catholicism out of this, s'il vous plait

I'm following the topic, because I was interested in what people have to say about age difference, but the discussion has turned into what it's like in the Philippines. Never been there, but I'd go visit if I had ton of money for traveling around the world But Catholicism shouldn't be brought up like this as it has nothing to do with the issue; rather cultural and individual prejudices.

I respectfully disagree. It is très pertinent.

The reference to Joseph and Mary relate to the cultural mores of that time. This discussion is about cultural mores albeit more about geographical differences than chronological differences, as different countries and perhaps different religions think differently about the subject.

But the reference shows that indeed the differences, especially historically can be huge as the age difference between Joseph and Mary was 75.5 years, though one must be careful--this is the age difference between when the bible says the marriage was consummated. They became betrothed at an age difference of 77.5 years.

Indeed things have changed and most countries and most religions would now consider such a union taboo. But I, for one, dif find Laurka's post food for thought.

[Brandon and Sugar 8]

Some people (I think it is very rare) actually like to wake up with an old man. Some people have fetishes for older people, etc. It's entirely possible for someone to fall in love with someone of any age, with no ulterior motives -- it's just very rare.

Other people (I think this is more common) don't like waking up with an old man, but love waking up to a full wallet and the ability to live a lavish lifestyle in a first-world country. They are willing to pretend to like waking up next to an old man for this. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but this is essentially a form of prostitution. With that said, this is how it used to be in the world. A man would sell his daughter to the man who could provide the best life for her.

Personally, I think we should open the borders more. Let the people who want to live in the U.S. do it without having to pretend to fall in love with an American. If we were to make it easy to live in the U.S. for people from the various countries famous for fraud, there would be no reason for them to defraud AmericYes

Yes

Well, you know the saying "Happiness is a Choice" and "Money is the root of evil".

[Juliet and Steve 93]

I insist before that I will go in US via working visa because I'm a professional here in Philippines, but our situation has turned to other route since we're now having our baby.

If your profession is an RN (Registered Nurse) the H1B visa's stopped listing generic RN's a few years ago.

You may say that "you insist" but in fact there are almost no H1B for even experienced foreign RN's unless you hold a specialty degree such as Nurse Practitioner. The RN route no longer seems a viable one as a route to the US.

[Laurka 65]

I respectfully disagree. It is très pertinent.

The reference to Joseph and Mary relate to the cultural mores of that time. This discussion is about cultural mores albeit more about geographical differences than chronological differences, as different countries and perhaps different religions think differently about the subject.

But the reference shows that indeed the differences, especially historically can be huge as the age difference between Joseph and Mary was 75.5 years, though one must be careful--this is the age difference between when the bible says the marriage was consummated. They became betrothed at an age difference of 77.5 years.

Indeed things have changed and most countries and most religions would now consider such a union taboo. But I, for one, dif find Laurka's post food for thought.

Hi Steven and Juliet. What you quoted from my post was about something else. I didn't mean the aspect you brought up, but now after all these weeks I would have to read the whole conversation from the start to remember. I'm pretty sure I referred to some other aspect of Catholicism mentioned in the discussion.

[duraaraa 203]

Ooh, this topic just got brought back up.

Just ask yourself: if my fiance/e already had a green card, would he/she be interested in me? If the answer is yes, proceed, as the relationship is not for immigration purposes.

My fiancee passed her interview the other day, despite an age difference. She (the beneficiary) is older than I (the petitioner) by 11.5 years. I am in my 20s, and she is in her 30s. The officer asked her about the age difference, and she said that it doesn't matter. They accepted that answer without issue.

I should mention, though, that I lived with my fiancee in her country for an extended period, I speak her language, and I had a ton of evidence of my good relationship with her and her children. That may have been why the interview was easy.

That being said, if your age difference is much larger, your mileage may vary, and you may have a lot more 'splaining to do.

Edited May 23, 2013 by duraaraa

[Juliet and Steve 93]

oh i thought youre the beneficiary.well im not trying to start anything either im just telling you guys whats true.

im a filipina and i know how my fellow filipinas are like.

me and my husband has 6 yrs. gap.

all filipina knows how hard life is in the philippines and filipinos are a big fan of USA.all filipino wants US VISA.

if a filipina is with an old guy that is not rich,that doesnt show she loves him,she just wants to have a green card and she is smart to know that she has lots of opportunities when she comes here in the US even if the guys she is with is not wealthy.

to have a young filipina that ages around 18-25 is a gamble.

Juliet here. There's a 37 year difference between us.

Of course I I'm interested in his money....doh!

And indeed, I must play the submissive part...but I just love those French Maid outfits.

And in public, when we get dirty looks I just smile broadly and say: "Oh daddie...buy me a Coca cola," though I confess I do wink at the male (usually the ones who give you dirty looks are married couples).

Carpe diem folk, carpe diem!