The Day I Became American

[Tosh Love 77]

I came to this country as a refugee in my teens in the 80s and never fit in or blended in. I went through undergraduate and graduate school, marriages, having children and living the AMERICAN LIFE to the best of my ability but a day did not go by when someone does not ask me “where are you from?” A constant reminder that after decades in the United States of America I would never be an American regardless of how long I stayed and how much effort I made to fit in. I constantly felt like a stranger in a strange land with a neon sign on me flashing ALIEN, ALIEN!

Let’s Talk About 9/11.…

Like almost everyone in America, I remember where I was on that day. I was working as a teacher at a children’s home where I had a class of 14 children between the ages of 11 and 16, and it was breakfast time for all the children (most of them wards of the State with behavioral problems who had been removed from their parents for various reasons) and we were in the middle of the chaos that normally ensues, when someone came in and informed me and the other adults about the planes hitting the towers in New York.

We finished breakfast and headed to our classrooms and we turned on the monitors in the classrooms and watched in horror as they replayed the events of the day. The children were in shock and in different stages of emotions, tearful, scared, stoic, all of the above, and I was trying my best to remain calm and relay to them that all was going to be okay. This was one of the few moments in my life when I was sure the world as I knew it was going to be over and I was doing my best to portray a strong veneer and make my children feel safe. I remember saying a silent prayer and asking God not to let my children suffer because I was convinced that there were planes on their way to every city to bomb some building or structure. Somehow nothing fell out of the sky in St. Louis and we survived the day playing card games and other activities to distract the children until 2 p.m. when school was over and around 3 p.m. I headed home.

I was still shocked, scared, confused, angry, and aimless as I arrived home and turned on the television. I expected New York City to be a quite city with everyone hiding indoors or leaving town to anywhere but there, but was I wrong. To my amazement, the people in New York decided to help each other, come out of their apartments, condos and homes to meet their neighbors. Those who had no electricity were out on the streets in the evening and sharing what little food they had with each other and camping out on the streets and sharing what little they had with their neighbors. I was stunned and could not help but weep and let all my emotions out because this was the most wonderful experience I had witnessed in my adulthood. How can a city which has experienced the most devastating evasion anyone could ever imagine, turn around within hours and stand up celebrate, commiserate and trudge on even stronger than before?

It was that evening that I realized that I was an American because whoever these people were, I wanted to be a part of them and I had not seen what it meant to be American until that day. If I could have found a tattoo artist that night I would have gotten one on my forehead so that everyone would know how proud I was and that after years of being an American citizen by paper through Naturalization, I did not truly know what being an American meant until 9/11.

[GandD 5,966]

A very moving story. Thank you for sharing.

[Tosh Love 77]

A very moving story. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you!

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

I came to this country as a refugee in my teens in the 80s and never fit in or blended in. I went through undergraduate and graduate school, marriages, having children and living the AMERICAN LIFE to the best of my ability but a day did not go by when someone does not ask me "where are you from?" A constant reminder that after decades in the United States of America I would never be an American regardless of how long I stayed and how much effort I made to fit in. I constantly felt like a stranger in a strange land with a neon sign on me flashing ALIEN, ALIEN!

Let's Talk About 9/11.…

Like almost everyone in America, I remember where I was on that day. I was working as a teacher at a children's home where I had a class of 14 children between the ages of 11 and 16, and it was breakfast time for all the children (most of them wards of the State with behavioral problems who had been removed from their parents for various reasons) and we were in the middle of the chaos that normally ensues, when someone came in and informed me and the other adults about the planes hitting the towers in New York.

We finished breakfast and headed to our classrooms and we turned on the monitors in the classrooms and watched in horror as they replayed the events of the day. The children were in shock and in different stages of emotions, tearful, scared, stoic, all of the above, and I was trying my best to remain calm and relay to them that all was going to be okay. This was one of the few moments in my life when I was sure the world as I knew it was going to be over and I was doing my best to portray a strong veneer and make my children feel safe. I remember saying a silent prayer and asking God not to let my children suffer because I was convinced that there were planes on their way to every city to bomb some building or structure. Somehow nothing fell out of the sky in St. Louis and we survived the day playing card games and other activities to distract the children until 2 p.m. when school was over and around 3 p.m. I headed home.

I was still shocked, scared, confused, angry, and aimless as I arrived home and turned on the television. I expected New York City to be a quite city with everyone hiding indoors or leaving town to anywhere but there, but was I wrong. To my amazement, the people in New York decided to help each other, come out of their apartments, condos and homes to meet their neighbors. Those who had no electricity were out on the streets in the evening and sharing what little food they had with each other and camping out on the streets and sharing what little they had with their neighbors. I was stunned and could not help but weep and let all my emotions out because this was the most wonderful experience I had witnessed in my adulthood. How can a city which has experienced the most devastating evasion anyone could ever imagine, turn around within hours and stand up celebrate, commiserate and trudge on even stronger than before?

It was that evening that I realized that I was an American because whoever these people were, I wanted to be a part of them and I had not seen what it meant to be American until that day. If I could have found a tattoo artist that night I would have gotten one on my forehead so that everyone would know how proud I was and that after years of being an American citizen by paper through Naturalization, I did not truly know what being an American meant until 9/11.

Great story... P.S. Usually when someone asks where are you from, it's because they are curious and eager to learn something about different places or share some common bond with you. Kind of like when I am overseas and see an american, they always ask, Where you from

Edited April 23, 2013 by The Nature Boy

[Tosh Love 77]

Great story... P.S. Usually when someone asks where are you from, it's because they are curious and eager to learn something about different places or share some common bond with you. Kind of like when I am overseas and see an american, they always ask, Where you from

It isn't just that, there is an innocent tone and a condescending tone to these questions. Believe me I have heard it all However, thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated!

BTW Doug is my ideal husband so I always laugh when I see that picture on your signature. He is too funny...

Edited April 23, 2013 by Tosh Love

[lostinblue 1,989]

I often ask where some one is from. Not to be rude but to make an extra effort to know a little bit about them. When I inform them my wife is from china they often will open up. Perhaps it is that I understand a little bit of their struggles trying to fit in this new homeland.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

It isn't just that, there is an innocent tone and a condescending tone to these questions. Believe me I have heard it all However, thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated!

BTW Doug is my ideal husband so I always laugh when I see that picture on your signature. He is too funny...

Doug is your Ideal Husband... Well let me tell you what. Not only do I look like him I got told I act like him. My Ex-wife said she can not watch the show, because it is like being reminded of me. I agree he is the perfect husband, much like myself.

As for people asking where you are from. You are right, and I speak for myself because I am such a naturally curious person and I love to learn about other cultures.

I do hear you. As I am married to a foreigner I do get remarks and tones that sometimes are ingenuous.

Edited April 23, 2013 by The Nature Boy

[GandD 5,966]

I do hear you. As I am married to a foreigner I do get remarks and tones that sometimes are ingenuous.

Certainly in good company there!

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Certainly in good company there!

You are married to a Canadian ??/ Does that count as foreign ??

[GandD 5,966]

You are married to a Canadian ??/ Does that count as foreign ??

Originally from hong kong. In Canada since 7. So, speaks Cantonese and English with an "eh" on the end.

[decocker 7,198]

You are married to a Canadian ??/ Does that count as foreign ??

do they need a visa to live and work here legally?

yep.

[GandD 5,966]

do they need a visa to live and work here legally?

yep.

I think he was making a joke.

Sorry for the derail OP. We likes to haves fun here!

[decocker 7,198]

I think he was making a joke.

Sorry for the derail OP. We likes to haves fun here!

yeah, people keep telling me dude is always joking when he says dumb stuff. i find it hard to believe that every post is a joke.

Edited April 23, 2013 by val erie

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Am I the only one who watches King of Queens and thinks Doug is a horrible husband? Every episode seems to be about the fact that he's a liar.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Originally from hong kong. In Canada since 7. So, speaks Cantonese and English with an "eh" on the end.

Ahh then it makes sense. Yes you married to a foreigner LOL>