Must I visit??

[lagemela23 1]

I am wondering if it is mandatory that I meet my fiance first before petitioning him to come to the states?I just got a promotion at work and cannot leave my job just yet..also, how long do we have to be in a relationship before petitioning?We have been talking/chatting for almost a year..but have only been serious for about a month:/

Thanks for any and all input:)

Meet in person at last 2 years.

[dmck 80]

Please consider carefully the desire to marry someone you have never met in person. Learning how you travel together, live together, do finances, take care of personal things, family, all these items will dramatically affect your marriage. This person may be very lovely and charming online and on the phone, but you two may discover that taking a vacation together is an absolute nightmare. You pack light, he brings the kitchen sink. You like to go to the beach and relax, he wants to hike through the jungle for 5 days and camp. Really please, if you are truly to be together, take the time to learn these things. My fiancé and I have known each other for 5 years and only been dating for just under 2. We have seen each other multiple times, learned the quirky things about each other and learned how to adjust. This stuff can get really complicated if you are married and have the pressure of trying to make it work just because. 20 years from now, you will find that the 1-2 years of being engaged, seeing each other, surviving a long distance relationship is nothing to what you have in the end......

good luck!

[ndu26 114]

As others have mentioned you could try for a wavier of meeting with about a 5% chance the wavier would work, and if denied your fees are gone ( and you have wasted your time ) Lagos is a whole different level of proof needed, to have a good chance of approval by the time of the interview it is best if you have spent at least a month together ( face to face) If you have red flags ( age difference , race differece, religious difference ) it will be hardedr to convince Lagos that he isn't using you to escape Nigeria. Some believe that CR1''s ( marriage) visas are approved the first time more often but a lot relies on the completeness of the petition package.

Ditto,

Lagos is most likely to tell K-1 visa applicant "go get married and come back". I guess they do that as a way of testing the validity of the relationship? That is not to say Several k-1s are not being issued. I know a Nigerian member here who was told that and my husband met a guy during his medical, whose interview was two weeks prior his. He was K-1 and basically was told exact same thing.

OP, research both and decide which route is best for you both as each has its own challenges and commitments, immigration aside.

[Moomin 292]

The waiver is not going to help you that much. You'll need to have met before marrying. USCIS is grumpy when it comes to poxy marriages. Financial loss is one way to get around the meeting criteria however, the petition is just the first step. If Lagos is the embassy, then the interview for your fiance is step 2. First, the petition needs approved by USCIS, then your fiance will have to convince an already tough embassy that you have an ongoing relationship. And that you will be living together and getting married after he enters the US, and you'll be vouching for him

I'm far from trying to judge you - just trying to have you understand what kind of immigration adventure you're getting yourself into. Both with your financial responsibility and with the journey itself.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Please consider carefully the desire to marry someone you have never met in person. Learning how you travel together, live together, do finances, take care of personal things, family, all these items will dramatically affect your marriage. This person may be very lovely and charming online and on the phone, but you two may discover that taking a vacation together is an absolute nightmare. You pack light, he brings the kitchen sink. You like to go to the beach and relax, he wants to hike through the jungle for 5 days and camp. Really please, if you are truly to be together, take the time to learn these things. My fiancé and I have known each other for 5 years and only been dating for just under 2. We have seen each other multiple times, learned the quirky things about each other and learned how to adjust. This stuff can get really complicated if you are married and have the pressure of trying to make it work just because. 20 years from now, you will find that the 1-2 years of being engaged, seeing each other, surviving a long distance relationship is nothing to what you have in the end......

good luck!

Best advice I've seen on here in a while! I don't care how many skype hours you've logged - the honest truth is until you've spent time with someone in real life, you can't know what they are like as a person, and whether you'd be happy as their partner. Then add on the financial responsibilities you will have in sponsoring an immigrant. Spend as much time with the fiance as possible given job constraints before and during the petition filing. If you don't, you may live to regret it.

[UK-USA-K1 128]

Best advice I've seen on here in a while! I don't care how many skype hours you've logged - the honest truth is until you've spent time with someone in real life, you can't know what they are like as a person, and whether you'd be happy as their partner. Then add on the financial responsibilities you will have in sponsoring an immigrant. Spend as much time with the fiance as possible given job constraints before and during the petition filing. If you don't, you may live to regret it.

I was going to say something quite similar myself. I understand completely the ability to "love" someone before physically meeting them, but in almost every instance it will be different when you meet. I'm not saying it won't be love, but it will be different. You could totally mismatch physically and everything falls apart, or maybe you could get that much closer, but one thing is for certain, you won't know until you meet and spend time together. Some may not believe this, but those who have fell in love before meeting in person will understand, there's just nothing that compares to the way the feelings manifest when you meet in person. I think for the majority, love will blossom, but there are plenty of examples out there where it just didn't work out and I'm not even counting the cultural shock people can get when moving to a new country.

[Cathi 5,744]

Well, I have never "met" my fiancee in person, but I feel like we have "met" enough through our words and pictures to know that we are both in love and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives.

chatting online is not even close to meeting in real life. You are never in a million years going to know what someone is truly like until you have spent time together in real life. I don;t care how much time you have spent making google eyes at each other online, the fact is anyone can be nice and charming while sitting in front of a camera. Not to say that it won;t work out after you meet, but Nigeria is the highest country when it comes to fraud. You need to take a trip there and learn each other idiosyncrasies before you make such a huge, life changing decision. What if he had habits that drive you crazy, has a bad temper, mistreats you or vice versa? Use you head and not your heart. No one here is trying to talk you out of anything, they are merely pointing out that you really need to spend some serious time together in real life, longer than a few weeks. A few weeks is just a vacation...use common sense, and read the Nigeria portal. One beloved VJ member who petitioned her Nigerian husband found out the day before her husband's interview in Lagos, that had just married ANOTHER women in Nigeria a few weeks earlier, yes he committed bigamy, and she had no clue and never would have known unless someone blew he whistle on him. This was just last week....

[Jawaree 717]

I say go easy, read the threads here about changes in the journey and DONT get marry after the 1st visit

sis get to know the dude, and again read some of the stories here...best wishes

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Getting a K1 or CR1 visa is a special trial by fire in part caused by the huge amount of fraud that happens there. It is almost the norm to have to file twice. More than one Nigerian to Nigerian couple I know have been denied the first time let alone the ones that are not Nigerians. The people there at experts at decieving each other. Go to Lagos and you will see "this house not for sale beware 419 " stencilled on buildings. Their culture allows that a fool and their money are soon parted. It is not the same world there. Whole families will assist a member to get to the US. If they are lucky to win the lottery that is the path they will take. If they find someone that they can sweep off their feet to get here , that is ok too. Not all behave this way, and those that have honest relationships have to go the extra yard to prove they have not been taken advantage of. I know of many horror stories through the years. The one that happened last week. Another where the Nigerian wife played the part of a sister living in the house while she served food to her husband and his USC sweetheart. Stories of wives sent home to the village while the USC is visiting. Some are playing multiple woman at the same time looking to see which will bear fruit the fastest. This is why Lagos wants to see that you have spent significant time together. That you know his family. That you know the culture. They know all to well the dismal long term success rate for marriages from Nigeria. Yes many relationships are true and survive the test of time. Not a single person currently going through the process will stand up this moment and say that their relationship is anything other than 100% real. But I have seen too many find out after spending years of their life and tens of thousands of dollars that they are the stepping stone for a man , his wife and the rest of the family to come to the US because there is no other viable path for them. Be aware, be educated and be safe.

[loladolly 51]

Yea i pretty much agree with everyone here.

Why would you want to marry someone you've never met in person? This is a huge red flag for a consulate.

With such the high fraud rate happening in Nigeria i don't even understand why some people still bother getting into such a risky situation!

Well just my opinion

[LORIEandPHIL 123]

Getting a K1 or CR1 visa is a special trial by fire in part caused by the huge amount of fraud that happens there. It is almost the norm to have to file twice. More than one Nigerian to Nigerian couple I know have been denied the first time let alone the ones that are not Nigerians. The people there at experts at decieving each other. Go to Lagos and you will see "this house not for sale beware 419 " stencilled on buildings. Their culture allows that a fool and their money are soon parted. It is not the same world there. Whole families will assist a member to get to the US. If they are lucky to win the lottery that is the path they will take. If they find someone that they can sweep off their feet to get here , that is ok too. Not all behave this way, and those that have honest relationships have to go the extra yard to prove they have not been taken advantage of. I know of many horror stories through the years. The one that happened last week. Another where the Nigerian wife played the part of a sister living in the house while she served food to her husband and his USC sweetheart. Stories of wives sent home to the village while the USC is visiting. Some are playing multiple woman at the same time looking to see which will bear fruit the fastest. This is why Lagos wants to see that you have spent significant time together. That you know his family. That you know the culture. They know all to well the dismal long term success rate for marriages from Nigeria. Yes many relationships are true and survive the test of time. Not a single person currently going through the process will stand up this moment and say that their relationship is anything other than 100% real. But I have seen too many find out after spending years of their life and tens of thousands of dollars that they are the stepping stone for a man , his wife and the rest of the family to come to the US because there is no other viable path for them. Be aware, be educated and be safe.

Great post well written. If I was you I would read it several times over before you make any commitments.

[Gasoline2805 2]

As stated on the official USCIS website:

Eligibility Requirements

(...)

You met each other, in person, at least once within 2 years of filing your petition. There are two exceptions that require a waiver:

1. If the requirement to meet would violate strict and long-established customs of your or your fiancé(e)’s foreign culture or social practice.

2. If you prove that the requirement to meet would result in extreme hardship to you.

(Source: My link )

If you do not meet either of the exceptions, you will have to have met your fiance before filing.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Marriage on the first visa will still be suspicious for Nigeria.

[bigdog 376]

Well, I have never "met" my fiancee in person, but I feel like we have "met" enough through our words and pictures to know that we are both in love and want to be with each other for the rest of our lives.

Unfortunately this is the USCIS way and rule, maybe if this is a difficult concept you need to review all the requirements, the time and costs involved. Good Luck.

[Shiobhan 235]

Cuss me, stick a fork in me , whatever but young lady drop that silly notion, don't they have some nice young men in your area of home & work?

Please forget this nonsense idea you don't know him so it should be easy, how do you know its not a serial killer....don't you see the horror stories

here, My friend in DC had a great engagement to an attentive man from Benin, seem a lovely person he was an employee at their mission, at the

party I was looking thru photo albums he had there I kept asking her Y so many pics of him and kids, she says its his nieces & nephews, I

ask do he got some wives & kids back home, she said no wife no kids ....3 mths later she called his apt. a lady answer says he's not there with a

thick accent , my friend asked who is this , the woman answered Johns wife, my friend say I am calling about the a membership he signed up for

at the gym do you want to join up too, the wife said no I gave him a surprise visit because I got a visa but he says I have to leave in 2 weeks as

the mission is sending him to Ohio for 2 mths....like someone said you can get used ...she dumped him , gave back his ring and he had the nerve to

ask her to still marry him so he can get his papers......the man had 3 wives and lots of kids.