Fiance' Family insists on wedding in Phil after USA Wedding

[LoveLife2 5]

Hello all VJ Philippino memebers,

I have a few questions that are not urgent but for future reference I will need.

I have applied for I-129F and my Fiance and I will marry in USA within 90 days of her entry. When I proposed to her, She insisted and I strongly agreed that I call and ask her Father for his approval and also I Skyped with her eldest Aunt the sister of my Fiance's deceased Momma and asked the same. Both gave me blessings and approval however the Aunt stated that I MUST also marry my girl in the Philippines as no USA marriage is accepted by family unless in the Phl. I agreed and love the idea but what am I getting into? Can anyone point me to a process for marrying my already USA Wife in the Philippines? I heard there are waiting times, documents to be filed etc... Since cost of travel for me, My new Wife, and her 2 kids will not be cheap, I just want to know if I can organize this from USA and file appropriate papers and have a Minister and church in line.

Thanks for all advice

Brad

[ljmp_10 105]

Filipinos value families so much. From what i understand probably the family of your fiancee would like to see your sincerity to be with her and love her forever. As you may know, once you get married in the Philippines, you cannot divorce your spouse, annulment is the only way to get out of the marriage and it may took long and will cost you a lot.

As for the preparation, it depends on what wedding you prefer: church or civil. They will be giving you a list of what to prepare, since you will be marrying your girl in the US, they might be asking you to get ready additional documents like the marriage certificate issued in the US.

Goodluck! Stay inlove and God bless!

[LoveLife2 5]

Filipinos value families so much. From what i understand probably the family of your fiancee would like to see your sincerity to be with her and love her forever. As you may know, once you get married in the Philippines, you cannot divorce your spouse, annulment is the only way to get out of the marriage and it may took long and will cost you a lot.

As for the preparation, it depends on what wedding you prefer: church or civil. They will be giving you a list of what to prepare, since you will be marrying your girl in the US, they might be asking you to get ready additional documents like the marriage certificate issued in the US.

Goodluck! Stay inlove and God bless!

Great advise!

yes a church wedding and I fully understand her family as my family would insist the same if countries were reversed. Iv'e either spoke on phone, video chat, or actually met in person her family members and I would love to have a wedding for her in Philippines!!!

[Bob & Joana 2]

Hello all VJ Philippino memebers,

I have a few questions that are not urgent but for future reference I will need.

I have applied for I-129F and my Fiance and I will marry in USA within 90 days of her entry. When I proposed to her, She insisted and I strongly agreed that I call and ask her Father for his approval and also I Skyped with her eldest Aunt the sister of my Fiance's deceased Momma and asked the same. Both gave me blessings and approval however the Aunt stated that I MUST also marry my girl in the Philippines as no USA marriage is accepted by family unless in the Phl. I agreed and love the idea but what am I getting into? Can anyone point me to a process for marrying my already USA Wife in the Philippines? I heard there are waiting times, documents to be filed etc... Since cost of travel for me, My new Wife, and her 2 kids will not be cheap, I just want to know if I can organize this from USA and file appropriate papers and have a Minister and church in line.

Thanks for all advice

Brad

If you are married already in US, you cannot re-marry(the legal process) in philippines! To legally marry in philippines you'd need an affidavit from embassy stating you are not married and eligible to marry -- which you could not get since you are married to her. I think what the aunt wants is a ceremony(you dont need to gather documents and all that). Basically just arrange with the church for a ceremony and a reception afterwards where all her family included extended will likely be expected to be invited. If you have budget constraints dont feel like you must accomodate everyone, you can always just set a maximum number of guests and let your wife choose who to invite. But if not, weddings are so cheap compared to in the US just think it is easily doable to pay less than $5 per person for a reception there! I think my reception with around 50 people ended up costing $250USD or so for cake, food(catered), a small amount of alcohol(I dont condone excessive drinking so I provided a minimum only), favors, and gifts for the sponsors. Im not sure if you need to file anything with your church of choice, but I'm guessing that 2 weeks in the country or less is all you'd need to arrange it.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Hello all VJ Philippino memebers,

I have a few questions that are not urgent but for future reference I will need.

I have applied for I-129F and my Fiance and I will marry in USA within 90 days of her entry. When I proposed to her, She insisted and I strongly agreed that I call and ask her Father for his approval and also I Skyped with her eldest Aunt the sister of my Fiance's deceased Momma and asked the same. Both gave me blessings and approval however the Aunt stated that I MUST also marry my girl in the Philippines as no USA marriage is accepted by family unless in the Phl. I agreed and love the idea but what am I getting into? Can anyone point me to a process for marrying my already USA Wife in the Philippines? I heard there are waiting times, documents to be filed etc... Since cost of travel for me, My new Wife, and her 2 kids will not be cheap, I just want to know if I can organize this from USA and file appropriate papers and have a Minister and church in line.

Thanks for all advice

Brad

There is no waiting period, as you are ALREADY married! You can do a renewal of vows in the Phils; stand before the minister have him do his thing, exchange your vows, have the "I DOs" and "I now pronounce you man and wife".... but no documents. Then have a party!

[TnJ 131]

Filipinos value families so much. From what i understand probably the family of your fiancee would like to see your sincerity to be with her and love her forever. As you may know, once you get married in the Philippines, you cannot divorce your spouse, annulment is the only way to get out of the marriage and it may took long and will cost you a lot.

As for the preparation, it depends on what wedding you prefer: church or civil. They will be giving you a list of what to prepare, since you will be marrying your girl in the US, they might be asking you to get ready additional documents like the marriage certificate issued in the US.

Goodluck! Stay inlove and God bless!

If the legal marriage took place in the US, the Philippines recognizes this marriage and the applicable laws. Since divorce is legal in the US, the couple can still divorce given that the marriage was a US marriage. There is no need for two weddings, and it wouldn't be legal in either country. What many people do in this circumstance is have a legal civil or ceremonial wedding in the US first (that is if they arrived on a K-1)then, they go back to the beneficiary's country to have a ceremony or renewing of vows. What it takes to do that varies by country. However, a couple would not have to jump through the total amount of hoops required to have a legal Philippines wedding if they were only partaking in a ceremony and already married. It is probably a good idea to have the marriage abroad reported to the Philippines government first before going to have a ceremony there.

Edited April 19, 2013 by TnJ

[Tahoma 2,292]

Have your fiancée talk to her church and arrange for a renewal of vows. That's what an acquaintance of mine did. Be prepared to make a donation to the church for their services.

[LoveLife2 5]

If the legal marriage took place in the US, the Philippines recognizes this marriage and the applicable laws. Since divorce is legal in the US, the couple can still divorce given that the marriage was a US marriage. There is no need for two weddings, and it wouldn't be legal in either country. What many people do in this circumstance is have a legal civil or ceremonial wedding in the US first (that is if they arrived on a K-1)then, they go back to the beneficiary's country to have a ceremony or renewing of vows. What it takes to do that varies by country. However, a couple would not have to jump through the total amount of hoops required to have a legal Philippines wedding if they were only partaking in a ceremony and already married. It is probably a good idea to have the marriage abroad reported to the Philippines government first before going to have a ceremony there.

That is what I thought but didn't state it correctly. Yes a ceremony not a legal Phl wedding. Thanks so much!

Have your fiancée talk to her church and arrange for a renewal of vows. That's what an acquaintance of mine did. Be prepared to make a donation to the church for their services.

I would think a donation to the church goes without saying. In USA you have to pay for a church wedding even if your a memeber. Thanks for pointing that out, I appreciate it.

[emilioako 1]

If you want to save some money....here's my $.02. At least here on the West....You can go to the Philippine embassy in Los Angeles and fill out a form Report of Marriage (ROM) - it's processed in 1 day and they will forward everything to Manila....and it will be entered in the database.....Check with the Phil. consulate/embassy that services your home. What those relatives are seeking is for their own satisfaction of attending a wedding ceremony. You're already married. That's going to cost you some money for sure. It's all up to you....Just my $.02.

[Hank_ 9,174]

FYI - you can do the report of marriage by mail, don't need to go to the Philippine embassy in person.

[apple21 953]

Report of Marriage: http://www.philippineconsulatela.org/consular%20services/conserv-registry.htm#ROM

[GuardianAngel 1]

Hi Brad,

It's all about the culture. Most families in the Philippines love to gather and celebrate memorable occasions most specially family members' wedding. On the good side, its one way for you to meet and greet your "extended" family.

Its not a requirement but I guess its a request, if possible. Just my two cents..

Good luck!

Hello all VJ Philippino memebers,

...Both gave me blessings and approval however the Aunt stated that I MUST also marry my girl in the Philippines as no USA marriage is accepted by family unless in the Phl. I agreed and love the idea but what am I getting into?

Thanks for all advice

Brad

[kev_n_jena 89]

My wife's family tried to instist that we marry in Phils. Their reasoning was "there's no divorce in Phils" and they were worried I would dump her after we got to the US.

After having met many many Filipinos over the past 7 years I can tell you, what is said out loud and what is actually done can be two very different things. I've found out that many of the people in my wife's town were born before their parents were married. In fact a lot of couples didn't get married until they had several children. I was surprised to find out that fact after hearing so much about the tradition of marriage and virginity.

The reason givin for not marrying sooner was usually a lack of money for a proper ceremony.

Every parent would like to see a proper ceremony for their children but often times it doesn't happen. I'm not saying that's the way it is everywhere in Phils, but in my experience, that's what I've seen.

[calibob 73]

HI Brad,

I'll chime in.......2 weddings in the Philippines for me......the first civil in August to get our paperwork started and then a formal church wedding in December for completion of the sacrament of marriage. This is a very important thing in my wife's eyes and in mine also so I was very open to the idea but shy about the attention a church wedding brings. It was well worth it in my eyes and gave my soul peace in the decision of marriage. If you are not Catholic, be open to the Church wedding anyway as it is very important to the wife and her family.

Maybe wait a year or two so it can be planned and paid for after the civil in the States. That way it can be a grander, more memorable affair.

Bob

[A and T 82]

I would advise against it, its part of the plot to get you to pay a lot of money to feed the entire barangay. You would be required to pay for it all, pay for foods, pay for "souvenir"

It will just amount to you having to shower everyone with money