How much adjustment time?

[chispas 0]

Kanyiri,

I think it is admirable that your husband realizes your income limitations right now. My heart ached when I read what you wrote because if the family could only give the person a chance to settle here in America the money will come once the spouse is settled. I have had so many friends in the same situation who had rifts with the spouse over the pressure of providing for the family back home before being able to stand on their feet here. Your husband knows exactly when and why he is choosing this path and he is blessed for doing so. This is one subject that no two sides of the ocean will agree upon without patience.

Take care,

panamachic

[mollyandstephen 0]

I think that one factor that is important as we discuss the issue of sending money to our SO's family in Africa is the perception that seems common that Americans have A LOT of money and that it is easy to get rich here. I think if the situation was reversed and I had that perception, I would expect my family member to help support me once they arrived in America as well. I know that in Nigeria, people watch cable TV and American movies and see our houses, cars, and lifestyle. Since they have a cash society there and everything is paid for in cash, they conclude that we actually paid for what we have with CASH! They don't understand that we (most of us anyway) have gone into debt for the balance of our lives for the things we have.

It really is a perception problem. I think that our African families would be more patient and understanding if they really understood that becoming rich is not easy in America. Of course, there are more opportunities here than in some of the other areas of the world but getting rich isn't easy here either. Just my thoughts on the matter.

Molly

[mandolinv 0]

I agree. I think perception is the key factor here. It is really hard for people from a cash society to understand the idea of credit and that you don't actually own most of that stuff you have (well, not own as in paid for).

[joej 0]

I think that one factor that is important as we discuss the issue of sending money to our SO's family in Africa is the perception that seems common that Americans have A LOT of money and that it is easy to get rich here. I think if the situation was reversed and I had that perception, I would expect my family member to help support me once they arrived in America as well. I know that in Nigeria, people watch cable TV and American movies and see our houses, cars, and lifestyle. Since they have a cash society there and everything is paid for in cash, they conclude that we actually paid for what we have with CASH! They don't understand that we (most of us anyway) have gone into debt for the balance of our lives for the things we have.

It really is a perception problem. I think that our African families would be more patient and understanding if they really understood that becoming rich is not easy in America. Of course, there are more opportunities here than in some of the other areas of the world but getting rich isn't easy here either. Just my thoughts on the matter.

Molly

Good pointe. I forgot that credit isn't someting that is available in every country.

I wonder if you could give him a trial period like one or two months and see how well he does taking care of the bills. This would enable him to really see what he has to pay and how much there is to pay it with. If it doesnt work out, you can always take charge of it again.

Sorry that last one was for Panamachic not Molly. I cant edit.

[chispas 0]

Good pointe. I forgot that credit isn't someting that is available in every country.

I wonder if you could give him a trial period like one or two months and see how well he does taking care of the bills. This would enable him to really see what he has to pay and how much there is to pay it with. If it doesnt work out, you can always take charge of it again.

Sorry that last one was for Panamachic not Molly. I cant edit.

We are in the process of trying that right now. In a couple of weeks I should have a complete update, but so far the light and telephone was near shutting off. We'll see joej

[Jasman0717 9]

Claudeth was kicked back with her feet up the day she got here and hasn't looked back She doesn't get homesick, she loves the malls here and really enjoys the breakfasts at IHOP Silly goose