Relax

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Lesson learned from this thread, do not try to be positive. Because someone with a worse timeline than you will inevitably tell you that your waiting meant nothing, theirs was longer so theirs means more, and you don't know what you're talking about because YOU didn't wait as long as THEY did.

Let people be miserable if they want to be miserable.

Let them check USCIS five times a day if they want to.

Let them draft letters and petitions if that makes them feel better, though chances are, they won't go anywhere.

Let people do whatever they need to do to get through their waiting period.

We all know the waiting sucks, but here on VJ, it's turned into a competition. So let the miserable ones "win" the title of Most Rightfully Irritated With USCIS and move on with your life and YOUR relationship.

They don't want advice. They don't want positive words of encouragement. They want to do exactly what they're already doing.

It was nice of you to try, though.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I filed for K1 in June 2012...

I knew, and I accepted the fact that it would be a long ride....

So I just waited... My fiancé' and I skyped several times a week, we sent text massages daily.. and we just waited... Of course I was upset at the 5 month mark.. we all are... but we just waited.. and we prepared our documents for the next step, and we spoke of our dreams for the future.... and in December we rec'd NOA2.... the prepared for our interview in Moscow in March.. and all went well..!!!

So please, relax... it will all be done... prepare your documents, work on your relationships....

dreams to not come true overnight.. sometimes it takes 6 months, sometimes 12 months....

make your time productive... I painted bedrooms, cleaned the house, did some gardening....

and all will be fine...

I think that is where you acted differently from most. You knew it was a long wait and you went for it in that frame of mind. That is a sign of a mature relationship.

I really question the integrity of any relationship that is threatened by or succumbs to the wait of a bureaucratic process. If one can't weather the visa process, how can one expect to face an entire lifetime together?

Edited April 12, 2013 by Gegel

[Billious 32]

As someone who's caught in the "black hole" (September filer), I think the OP's advice was solid. Nothing good comes from getting worked up. Is it speeding up your application? Making your relationship better?

So the OP got through the system faster than a bunch of us... it doesn't make his advice any less applicable.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

As someone who's caught in the "black hole" (September filer), I think the OP's advice was solid. Nothing good comes from getting worked up. Is it speeding up your application? Making your relationship better?

So the OP got through the system faster than a bunch of us... it doesn't make his advice any less applicable.

Ah, someone who is able to see beyond their situation and think clearly. How refreshing.

[GandD 5,966]

Lesson learned from this thread, do not try to be positive. Because someone with a worse timeline than you will inevitably tell you that your waiting meant nothing, theirs was longer so theirs means more, and you don't know what you're talking about because YOU didn't wait as long as THEY did.

Let people be miserable if they want to be miserable.

Let them check USCIS five times a day if they want to.

Let them draft letters and petitions if that makes them feel better, though chances are, they won't go anywhere.

Let people do whatever they need to do to get through their waiting period.

We all know the waiting sucks, but here on VJ, it's turned into a competition. So let the miserable ones "win" the title of Most Rightfully Irritated With USCIS and move on with your life and YOUR relationship.

They don't want advice. They don't want positive words of encouragement. They want to do exactly what they're already doing.

It was nice of you to try, though.

This is well said and should be enough to close this thread down. But it won't.

(PS, I know I just continued it)

[joshandgigi 8]

Batman. People are angry and they have every right to but your comment on working on things in the house and preparing is a great suggestion and I have been doing the same. I took my kitchen and tore it appart. I figure either she will get here and help me finish it or I will have it done when she gets to the usa. Either way its a great way to remove stress.

I dont have a NOA2 I havnet been waiting long and I can see the long road ahead but I am strong in my relationship and ready to be together.

My girl tells me every day. Stay busy no matter what. It makes time go by faster and if we wait 1 month or 24 months we will be together.

I guess the Thai saying Mai Pen Rai "No worries" helps alot

It sucks some of you are getting close to a year, put something to your representitive and then go paint the room and make a garden. Find something your fiance wants bad and put your mind to making it happen when they get here. I know it sucks! It sucks now. It will suck later but when that NOA2 comes to you it will be so sweet just like a fresh watermelon on a hot summer day.

J&G

[JohnR! 5,495]

Everyone here is a psychiatrist, apparently. I'm rude to people who are out of their depth. OP is in no place to tell others waiting twice as long as he did to relax. The other guy in the other thread was spreading misinformation and at the same time insulting all July/August filers by claiming they didn't fill out their apps correctly.

Yes he/she is very much in a position to do so, for he/she is in a place where you will be in the future.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Batman. People are angry and they have every right to but your comment on working on things in the house and preparing is a great suggestion and I have been doing the same. I took my kitchen and tore it appart. I figure either she will get here and help me finish it or I will have it done when she gets to the usa. Either way its a great way to remove stress.

I dont have a NOA2 I havnet been waiting long and I can see the long road ahead but I am strong in my relationship and ready to be together.

My girl tells me every day. Stay busy no matter what. It makes time go by faster and if we wait 1 month or 24 months we will be together.

I guess the Thai saying Mai Pen Rai "No worries" helps alot

It sucks some of you are getting close to a year, put something to your representitive and then go paint the room and make a garden. Find something your fiance wants bad and put your mind to making it happen when they get here. I know it sucks! It sucks now. It will suck later but when that NOA2 comes to you it will be so sweet just like a fresh watermelon on a hot summer day.

J&G

People have every right to be angry. It's ridiculous that this process takes as long as it does. Nobody's denying that. But it's not the OP's fault. It's not anybody here on VJ's fault. So when someone posts something like this in an attempt to be helpful, it's ALSO ridiculous to treat them as if they're the enemy.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Someone who has a K-1 approved telling people who are waiting in line for longer than he/she did to relax is like Marie Antoinette telling hungry Parisians to eat cake. Well intended but hardly useful advice.

That would be an invalid comparison.

It might be more appropriate to compare the OP to someone who is older and has more experience on a particular subject trying to impart some patience and give them a message of hope from the other side of the tunnel.

[joshandgigi 8]

People have every right to be angry. It's ridiculous that this process takes as long as it does. Nobody's denying that. But it's not the OP's fault. It's not anybody here on VJ's fault. So when someone posts something like this in an attempt to be helpful, it's ALSO ridiculous to treat them as if they're the enemy.

Honestly I agree. They can be mad but why turn on your fellow that filled a k1 visa. I guess when some people get angry they dont care what bridge gets burnt. I for one care for every one of you and appriciate everyones insite. It helps to just see the CSC moving in any fashion.

[Lex Specialis 38]

That would be an invalid comparison.

It might be more appropriate to compare the OP to someone who is older and has more experience on a particular subject trying to impart some patience and give them a message of hope from the other side of the tunnel.

Everyone knows that at the end of the tunnel we all get to see our loved one.

[Sooooon 11]

Can a mod delete this thread? Either it's a troll thread or misguided advice. While patience is a virtue, relaxing gets old when people who filed at the same time and even after have their visas already. There are obvious problems with the service centers, CSC in particular and it's unfair to dub this a 'first world problem' when peoples lives an families are having to deal with this. There are people who have never seen their newborn children because of the delays, most of us will be apart from our loved ones for a year of our lives, how dare someone belittle the issue like that. If I live to 85, that's 1.2% of my life that I would have spent being unhappy because I coudn't be with my loved one. Can't imagine how it'd feel if there were kids in the equation.

[Alcatraz63 9]

I think that is where you acted differently from most. You knew it was a long wait and you went for it in that frame of mind. That is a sign of a mature relationship.

I really question the integrity of any relationship that is threatened by or succumbs to the wait of a bureaucratic process. If one can't weather the visa process, how can one expect to face an entire lifetime together?

I love when people say this. How can you compare living with your husband/wife to waiting in different countries,time zones etc for the visa.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I love when people say this. How can you compare living with your husband/wife to waiting in different countries,time zones etc for the visa.

Through association, as are most comparisons done.

[cereal 84]

I apologize for not taking OP's advice to heart. What have I been doing this whole time? Why was I not dedicating my time to improving my relationship, or studying, or keeping myself busy. If it were not for OP's eye-opening advice, I would have just sat here for another 6 months sitting on the couch, staring at the wall, letting my life pass by.