i just get home from interveiw

[Captain Ewok 1,900]

Age was not the point. It was simply used as an example of how fast and loose judgements here can be made.

The same judgements are made about young couples. As a matter of fact people make judgements about couples with age differences (either way), religious difference, cultural differene, etc.....

I have listened to some "fast and loose" judgements here about many things, some of which hit close to home for myself.

Most of us have a reason to think before we post, if for no other reason than because something that hits close to home affects us too. We do need to be kinder and more supportive of each other because we need to treat others as we wish to be treated.

That is a good idea. While I hate to do it things are getting pretty bad around here recently with the attacks on other people... being unreasonably rude, etc... leading me to be in a position to start giving many suspensions out to people to get the point out that being rude and violating the TOS will not be tolerated. I hope that your comment is heeded by everyone.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Age was not the point. It was simply used as an example of how fast and loose judgements here can be made.

The same judgements are made about young couples. As a matter of fact people make judgements about couples with age differences (either way), religious difference, cultural differene, etc.....

I have listened to some "fast and loose" judgements here about many things, some of which hit close to home for myself.

Most of us have a reason to think before we post, if for no other reason than because something that hits close to home affects us too. We do need to be kinder and more supportive of each other because we need to treat others as we wish to be treated.

Well to be honest with you, I think the way people wish to be treated is different with each person. Some people see this forum as a sisterhood, some see it as informational, and some just think its a joke. My concerns were valid and I would have that same concern for any member. If something like this was happening to me I would prefer to know and for someone to tell me, some people prefer the blinders. However when you are in a public forum, there is no way to know what people want.

The things that have hit home for me is the insults about arab women by members of ME/NA, it really has nothing to do with relationships. My relationship doesn't exactly follow the traditional path and I have had people make judgements too.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Age was not the point. It was simply used as an example of how fast and loose judgements here can be made.

The same judgements are made about young couples. As a matter of fact people make judgements about couples with age differences (either way), religious difference, cultural differene, etc.....

I have listened to some "fast and loose" judgements here about many things, some of which hit close to home for myself.

Most of us have a reason to think before we post, if for no other reason than because something that hits close to home affects us too. We do need to be kinder and more supportive of each other because we need to treat others as we wish to be treated.

Well to be honest with you, I think the way people wish to be treated is different with each person. Some people see this forum as a sisterhood, some see it as informational, and some just think its a joke. My concerns were valid and I would have that same concern for any member. If something like this was happening to me I would prefer to know and for someone to tell me, some people prefer the blinders. However when you are in a public forum, there is no way to know what people want.

The things that have hit home for me is the insults about arab women by members of ME/NA, it really has nothing to do with relationships. My relationship doesn't exactly follow the traditional path and I have had people make judgements too.

I acknowledged your concerns early on, and I hate to see people used too, but it still is a fact that Judy and Hicham have to work out their problems for themselves. She has made it clear where she stands, and we need to understand that when and if things change between them, change will originate with them, not with us. Even after reading the old threads, I can't be sure I know what is going on, and I told them that too. I'm not so much defending Hicham or their relationship as I'm defending their right to conduct it as they see fit, even if everyone of us think it's wrong. We should all have that right; and sometimes someone does get hurt. That's just the way it goes, and it can go that way in any marriage.

I'm Arab too, so those comments hit me too, but somehow I can shrug it off as ignorance. Someone's intimate relationship is a more subjective and personal matter. Unkind remarks made about my sweet, deceased husband because he was Christian, or my precious children being called bastards are harder to take because I love them all dearly.

None of us has a traditional relationship, but every one of us is here because we love someone. Some of us will love successfully and some of us will fail. If we can post with the idea that we are discussing someone who is loved, someone like ourselves, then maybe we can learn to be more accepting and supportive of each other, and a lot less critical.

Insha'allah.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I acknowledged your concerns early on, and I hate to see people used too, but it still is a fact that Judy and Hicham have to work out their problems for themselves. She has made it clear where she stands, and we need to understand that when and if things change between them, change will originate with them, not with us. Even after reading the old threads, I can't be sure I know what is going on, and I told them that too. I'm not so much defending Hicham or their relationship as I'm defending their right to conduct it as they see fit, even if everyone of us think it's wrong. We should all have that right; and sometimes someone does get hurt. That's just the way it goes, and it can go that way in any marriage.

I am not saying anything about their rights to conduct their relationship. However from the past posts and the information that has been made public, I could not possibly congratulate someone in that situation. She is free to do as she likes and so is he.

I'm Arab too, so those comments hit me too, but somehow I can shrug it off as ignorance. Someone's intimate relationship is a more subjective and personal matter. Unkind remarks made about my sweet, deceased husband because he was Christian, or my precious children being called bastards are harder to take because I love them all dearly.

Trust me I do shrug it off, but what gets to me is some of the same members that come here to "school" me and others on how to post and what to say are the same ones that have made rude comments in the past about things that are near and dear to me. I guess people only think its rude when it affects them.

None of us has a traditional relationship, but every one of us is here because we love someone. Some of us will love successfully and some of us will fail. If we can post with the idea that we are discussing someone who is loved, someone like ourselves, then maybe we can learn to be more accepting and supportive of each other, and a lot less critical.

Insha'allah.

To love someone like ourselves? Why would you say that and why would someone not love the women here? Every pot has a lid. Every woman in ME/NA and on VJ for that matter has her own special attributes that make her a wonderful mate for someone. Some of the things I hear offline (which I would NEVER repeat) are quite distubing, I'd hate to see anyone here get hurt but some will.

[yemenslove 0]

congrats on yoour approval

[Ban Hammer 13,474]

I just sat here and read this entire thread and I gotta say, that many of you are a waste of time, energy and space on this board.....period I don't get my knickers in a knot easy but this thread has managed to do it.

i'm sure there will be plenty of volunteers to help untie your knickers

[Bosco 1]

According to some of you, the woman being older is a clear sign that the ME/NA man is only in it for a visa. People have said that again today. If we all knew who was going to make it and who wasn't, Vegas would go broke.

I was married nearly 30 years, at age 18. We said and did many terrible things to each other before we settled down and matured. No one gave us a chance at making it last. They were wrong. Don't say congatulations if you don't feel good about doing so, but understand that your venom is not the cure for what ails anyone.

This has nothing to do with age. I did see the age comment today but it was not in this thread and it was not directed at the OP.

The comment I read today about age pertained to infantalizing the men, not marriage fraud. No one had mentioned the woman being older as a reason why they think Hicham is a fraud.

Perhaps Hicham will turn out to be a lovely husband. No one knows for sure, but with what they do know, the find it extremely unlikely. I suspect Hicham and Judy will have tougher battles than a few untoward comments on VJ as marriages are rarely easy.

[chri'stina 190]

Sheesh, women.

There needs to be more ME/NA men in this forum. Genuinely involved men, not just people who like to watch the fireworks. But there doesn't seem to be many. There needs to be a gender balance. These argument threads(between the same people over and over again) are an example of why I prefer working with men than women at a workplace. Even though men may be annoying at times(hehe), some women are much too catty. In my past jobs, working with men and women mixed was much easier than working with only women. I'm a woman and am sticking to my story.

[Ban Hammer 13,474]

Sheesh, women.

There needs to be more ME/NA men in this forum. Genuinely involved men, not just people who like to watch the fireworks. But there doesn't seem to be many. There needs to be a gender balance. These argument threads(between the same people over and over again) are an example of why I prefer working with men than women at a workplace. Even though men may be annoying at times(hehe), some women are much too catty. In my past jobs, working with men and women mixed was much easier than working with only women. I'm a woman and am sticking to my story.

meow

[chri'stina 190]

Sheesh, women.

There needs to be more ME/NA men in this forum. Genuinely involved men, not just people who like to watch the fireworks. But there doesn't seem to be many. There needs to be a gender balance. These argument threads(between the same people over and over again) are an example of why I prefer working with men than women at a workplace. Even though men may be annoying at times(hehe), some women are much too catty. In my past jobs, working with men and women mixed was much easier than working with only women. I'm a woman and am sticking to my story.

meow

I can meow louder!

[AngelK96 0]

MK that looks gross.

Looks like turds to me

Welcome to the Kufta Roast!

Beware you might get roasted alive

Turds ???? No no no it's the real deal kifta sheesh....

Well.... if you insist on sending that one back to the kitchen.... we just happen to have another style on special today.... perhaps you would prefer this one....

Ok now that one looks yummy.. kofta sheesh!

[cbd2cai 0]

MK that looks gross.

Looks like turds to me

Welcome to the Kufta Roast!

Beware you might get roasted alive

Turds ???? No no no it's the real deal kifta sheesh....

Well.... if you insist on sending that one back to the kitchen.... we just happen to have another style on special today.... perhaps you would prefer this one....

Ok now that one looks yummy.. kofta sheesh!

that chicken??? sheesh tawook!! with lots of garlic sauce, yummmmm!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

that chicken??? sheesh tawook!! with lots of garlic sauce, yummmmm!

This woman really knows her sheesh !! Yeppers and it is DELICIOUS !

I want some for lunch

[sarah and hicham 3]

Why isn't szsz here fighting with JP anymore? I miss everything!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Judy are you there? Are you really going through with this?