Coping.. How do we all deal with waiting for our loved ones

[Jaz&Bry 9]

ummmmmm, I am sure most of us do visit their loved ones. But a visit every few months or once, twice a year is not enough to keep you from missing them inbetween visits?!? Maybe there lies an ocean and a whole continent between the 2 of them, everybody has their lives with responsibilities, a job they can´t just up and leave anytime they miss their partner, they possibly have children to take care of, a roundtrip costs $ 1500 or more so you can´t afford it all the time. In many cases it´s visa issues, that won´t allow them to travel to their loved one´s country and/ or stay there until the K1-process is over....so there are plenty of reasons. I don´t think anyone of us CHOOSES not to see their significant other.

Edited April 5, 2013 by Jaz&Bry

[Oregon Bound 30]

ummmmmm, I am sure most of us do visit their loved ones. But a visit every few months or once, twice a year is not enough to keep you from missing them inbetween visits?!? Maybe there lies an ocean and a whole continent between the 2 of them, everybody has their lives with responsibilities, a job they can´t just up and leave anytime they miss their partner, they possibly have children to take care of, a roundtrip costs $ 1500 or more so you can´t afford it all the time. In many cases it´s visa issues that won´t allow them to travel to their loved one´s country and/ or stay there until the K1- process is over....so there are plenty of reasons. I don´t think anyone of us CHOOSES not to see their significant other.

We have been lucky in that I went to see him in July 2011, he to me in october 2011, april 2012, oct 2012 and feb 2013. Quite a financial strain. Due to work on the ranch he will not be back out here untill september/october if we are still waiting. I won't even try to go visit incase we get turned back. Four tickets at over 1500 dollars each in the summer is a lot to lose. We both would rather spent all our hours together, that's why we went the K1 route, so that I would not have to come back to england once we are married. That for us was important.

[leeannakondor 7]

She coming here on the 19th can't wait to see my fiancee.we Skype,whatsapp,Yahoo messenger,emails and i wake up everyday thinking of how to let my fiance know is ok for now and soon things will change for us to be in eachothers arms forever and she understand perfect we waiting for 8months now wasn't easy God help us

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

Because you need to be in the states in case USCIS sends you an RFE. I had to secure birth certificates, death certificates, affidivats from family memebers and he had to do the same in Morocco. You stay here and wait for immigration to do all the things they are asking of you. they will give you 30 days to get an RFE back to them, then you sit and wait 8 months for them to process. It is a hurry up and wait game.

[MissingHerSo 10]

10,000 plus miles............trust me,ITS VERY HARD. Christmas was hard, New Year's was hard, Valentines Day,which is also her birthday was hard.

Not like you can fly to Malaysia from the states every weekened....

This is just so painful inside....No reason something like this should take this long. Very hard being away from someone you love so much. Sometimes I dont know what to do with myself.

I feel so sad at times, but then feel better cause I know that ONE DAY we will be together..GOD BLESS US ALL

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

WE do the same, Talk on MSN and skype every night, not just to him but also to his family and some freinds. Send each other the free 123 greeting cards, share all we do in the day. Write letters to Senators and anyone who we think can help. Print out all the chats, copy phone records, look at my photos on compter of my 4 trips, they are my screen saver, and sometimes cry as this is a long process. my first applicaiotn was in June 2009 for finance, and we married March 2010 and applied for spouse.

[mirandmar 0]

As of yet we haven't. This is how our routine has been since October

October - Visited Canada

November - She came here

December - Visted Canada

January - Visited Canada

March - She came here

May - She's coming here.

So far we haven't had trouble, but I still worry.

A big thing is that you have 183 rolling days each to visit one another. That means from October 12 to Oct 13 she can visit you for that long and vice versa, I would just be careful of not going past that. Pace yourselves. (anyone from Canada correct me if I am wrong)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My husband and I text each other as much as we can every day. We video chat as often as we can as internet here isn't unlimited but it is for him. And we chat online everyday using MSN. We also voice talk at bedtime. We have Vonage set up as well so we can call as much as we can. We've been using it for years. To the Vonage user, they do raise prices every so often but it still is less compared to what we could be paying!

We tend to see one another every 3-5 months, as much as our budgets allow. We tend to search out the best prices. Montreal flights are notorious for being extremely expensive, so he flies to Burlington and drives up. It makes the travel cost about half price compared to if he bought a flight up to Montreal and rented a car.

Edited April 5, 2013 by mirandmar

[Dumb/Dumber 61]

Sounds alot like us... All day everyday on chat or txting and random phone calls everyday..... We also pray 2gether each nite... Another thing we do ( out friends tease us but love it just the same) is no matter what were doin, we speak as if were doin it 2gether! Lol for instance may say "baby were out of milk!" And he says " ok love, lets go and im driving!" Lol it really helps to take away the "alone" feeling. We attended a Keith Sweat concert together just a few months ago via skype... I had him on skype the entire time n we had so much fun!!! We play games together this wY as well.. We played Monoply a few weeks ago with the kids... We also share every little detail about our days... It helps to feel close.. Ohh and we have 1 piece of clothing of eachothers.. We sleep with it... Its not the real thing but it beats nothing at all... Sumtimes tho, i cant help but feel like im living in an imaginary world waiting to reach reality.. Its still a hard process but everything helps... Being best friends is wat ive found to b the most beneficial coping mechanism thus far! But that will benefit us for life im loving all these stories!! Differences as well as similarities! Plus talking about our loved ones; another great way to cope.......

Sounds like you two got it all together. My husband and I have been married nearly 30 months now. I have been to Turkey 3 times and we made a trip together to the Dominican Republic. We too always chat,e-mail, facebook and telephone calls. He actually calls me every morning about 4 times to wake me up with the Blues Brothers phone ring. I tell him that it is like he is saying "I love you, wake up." We talk about all the things we want to do when we are together again. I am so blessed to have him in my life. I recently got skpe on my phone so now we can webcam anytime we want. And I left clothes in Turkey and he would put on my pajama bottoms or tie my sweater around his neck while he was on webcam. He is so funny.

He always tells me to lock the doors and windows before I go to sleep at night. He is always so worried when I travel and he will not sleep until he knows I am there safe.

[Alcatraz63 9]

We spent 6 months apart at the start of our relationship. After that we didn't want to be apart any longer so we both got visas for Australia and worked there for a year, then travelled Asia. We then went to the US for 90 days and filed for the K1. She has been in the UK for the last 6 months waiting for me to get my visa. It's worked out perfect.

[Jaz&Bry 9]

We spent 6 months apart at the start of our relationship. After that we didn't want to be apart any longer so we both got visas for Australia and worked there for a year, then travelled Asia. We then went to the US for 90 days and filed for the K1. She has been in the UK for the last 6 months waiting for me to get my visa. It's worked out perfect.

you guys have been so lucky to be able to do that, amazing! Almost no time of separation!

[Alcatraz63 9]

you guys have been so lucky to be able to do that, amazing! Almost no time of separation!

Yep. We did everything we could to stay together. We're lucky we both could get the Australian visas.

[Andreea E. 1]

Although we are on different time zone, my hubby got a night shift job, so we can chat every day. Even twice a day. Skype is not enough though.

We have been apart for one month only and it seems like a really long time. He will come to visit in may or june, but still it seems really far.

I don't know about him, but I cry almost every day and I am very depressed.

I try to keep myself busy....but it doesn't work. The waiting is a killer!!!!

God help us all to get through this!

[liddy 10]

On your skype main screen.. Go to Tools > Options > (left hand side) Calls > Check the box that says "Answering incoming calls automatically" and "Start my video automatically when I am in a call"

Click the save button. Then your loved one can hit video call and Skype will answer automatically. You can check on your partner while they are sleeping and imagine yourself crawling into bed with them (which is what I do)

:thumbs:

[Tigre&Tigresa 11]

we use oovoo, skype, yahoo... regular text messages are expensive for me, we switched to gtalk, then whatsapp... sometimes it feels like he's not even so far away... but some others it hits me, and it's so hard. But it has made us strong

[Alcatraz63 9]

Whatsapp is great for keeping in contact long distance.. Saves so much money!