Advise on When to Plan the Wedding or Religious Ceremony

[Hershel243 0]

First of all, thank you. These forums are an awesome resource and I have been a lurker for a long time. I hope to now finally contribute with questions and the eventual story of my experiences.

So, I filed the k1 for my Canadian fiancee in mid February when we decided job wise and financially we would be better off living in the United States. Prior to that, I the American citizen, was going to university in Canada and have been with her for five years there. I have a work visa and study permit.

Prior to deciding to move to the United States we had a wedding date planned for July of this year. Catering is set, photographer, tent, etc. Money has definitely been spent. However, I think I may have underestimated the time it would take for us to get the K-1 to all come in.

There are two problems here:

1. First, we have a wedding planned and know that we now have to marry in the United States. We have decided we will just make it a religious ceremony, unrecognized by the U.S. Government (as their website states) but, are torn with how to do it. We have all of these services rented, a dress bought, a pastor coming, etc. However some of the advice I have been reading here suggests it cannot resemble any form of wedding, ie - dress, honeymoon, rings, etc. Should we make it a really little celebration or suck up the costs and redo it after we eventually marry in the US?
   I'm not looking for legal advice, just practical advice. It is to be a small gathering of family, mostly those in Canada. However, discovering this it hurts me to admit we may have to reschedule and I know her parents have been planning and spending to get ready. Thankfully, invitations have yet to go out.
   
2. We may have that celebration and then have to worry about the prospect of doing it and me moving back without her as we continue to wait for the visa to come through. I have a pretty good job so I cannot afford to just stay with her and wait. How do you guys manage that kind of seperation? We have done summers apart (3-4 months at a time) for four years now and it really sucks. Since leaving Canada in December, this is becoming our longest distance apartment. Skype is only so good...
   

Any theories or ideas we should think about for the wedding? Something I may have missed?

[bt1 42]

First of all, thank you. These forums are an awesome resource and I have been a lurker for a long time. I hope to now finally contribute with questions and the eventual story of my experiences.

So, I filed the k1 for my Canadian fiancee in mid February when we decided job wise and financially we would be better off living in the United States. Prior to that, I the American citizen, was going to university in Canada and have been with her for five years there. I have a work visa and study permit.

Prior to deciding to move to the United States we had a wedding date planned for July of this year. Catering is set, photographer, tent, etc. Money has definitely been spent. However, I think I may have underestimated the time it would take for us to get the K-1 to all come in.

There are two problems here:

1. First, we have a wedding planned and know that we now have to marry in the United States. We have decided we will just make it a religious ceremony, unrecognized by the U.S. Government (as their website states) but, are torn with how to do it. We have all of these services rented, a dress bought, a pastor coming, etc. However some of the advice I have been reading here suggests it cannot resemble any form of wedding, ie - dress, honeymoon, rings, etc. Should we make it a really little celebration or suck up the costs and redo it after we eventually marry in the US?
   I'm not looking for legal advice, just practical advice. It is to be a small gathering of family, mostly those in Canada. However, discovering this it hurts me to admit we may have to reschedule and I know her parents have been planning and spending to get ready. Thankfully, invitations have yet to go out.
   
2. We may have that celebration and then have to worry about the prospect of doing it and me moving back without her as we continue to wait for the visa to come through. I have a pretty good job so I cannot afford to just stay with her and wait. How do you guys manage that kind of seperation? We have done summers apart (3-4 months at a time) for four years now and it really sucks. Since leaving Canada in December, this is becoming our longest distance apartment. Skype is only so good...
   

Any theories or ideas we should think about for the wedding? Something I may have missed?

After a religious ceremony in the US you will be LEGALLY MARRIED, so you will no longer qualify for a K1 visa. Under the circumstances, what I would do, is go ahead with the wedding party but without the ceremony (no pastor!!). You can still wear your wedding dress, but no rings exchanged and no papers signed. You can then get married legally once the visa is issued and you move to the US.

[Mariana2012 89]

After a religious ceremony in the US you will be LEGALLY MARRIED, so you will no longer qualify for a K1 visa. Under the circumstances, what I would do, is go ahead with the wedding party but without the ceremony (no pastor!!). You can still wear your wedding dress, but no rings exchanged and no papers signed. You can then get married legally once the visa is issued and you move to the US.

I dissagree. You will only be legally married if you get a marriage license and get married in front of an autorized person. If a pastor agrees to marry you religiously without a marriage license then you are not legally married and you can continue your K1 process.

[Hershel243 0]

After a religious ceremony in the US you will be LEGALLY MARRIED, so you will no longer qualify for a K1 visa. Under the circumstances, what I would do, is go ahead with the wedding party but without the ceremony (no pastor!!). You can still wear your wedding dress, but no rings exchanged and no papers signed. You can then get married legally once the visa is issued and you move to the US.

Thanks for the comments.

Just to clear up what I was trying to condense above: The religious ceremony is scheduled and all paid for in Canada. We were more so worried about what kind of language we would use on invitations, whether or not to have rings or a family member spilling the whole thing over Facebook. We are definitely NOT doing the paperwork.

As soon as we arrive in the US we are planning to go to a court house the very next day, proceeding to have a relaxed party at our new home in the US. Of course, it's so hard to make any plans while we wait.

[JohnR! 5,495]

After a religious ceremony in the US you will be LEGALLY MARRIED, so you will no longer qualify for a K1 visa. Under the circumstances, what I would do, is go ahead with the wedding party but without the ceremony (no pastor!!). You can still wear your wedding dress, but no rings exchanged and no papers signed. You can then get married legally once the visa is issued and you move to the US.

That is only true if the minster is also afforded powers by the state to perform legal marriages. A religious marriage alone. has no value in the US.

[Oregon Bound 30]

At the current rate of processing at California Service Centre, you will be lucky if you get your visa before Christmas!

Maybe it's just me, but I do not want any sort of celebration until the day I marry my fiance. I read up and we haven't booked a thing and won't be doing until I have the visa in my hand.

I guess you and your fiance have to decide what you prefer. I am sure the family will understand if you put things on hold and a lot of wedding associated things like photographers, will not refund you but they MAY reschedule you so you don't lose out but they need to know as soon as possible.

[Hershel243 0]

That is only true if the minster is also afforded powers by the state to perform legal marriages. A religious marriage alone. has no value in the US.

Well, the pastor (a friend) who will be officiating the ceremony has not renewed his licensing as an officiant. He has no legal power in the province to perform a legal marriage. He has also agreed to bring no paperwork.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Well, the pastor (a friend) who will be officiating the ceremony has not renewed his licensing as an officiant. He has no legal power in the province to perform a legal marriage. He has also agreed to bring no paperwork.

In that case you are fine.

As a suggestion, if you are sending our invitations or save-the-date notes, consider using the word 'blessing' instead of 'marriage' or 'union', lest it comes back to haunt you down the road as you go through the immigration process... Also consider explaining to those in attendance, briefly, what the ceremony is and why it is not a 'wedding' ceremony, because as someone else pointed out, chances are it'll end up all over Facebook!

Congrats and good luck!

[Hershel243 0]

Yeah, what's the deal with that? I am assuming everyone is going through the California Service Centre? When I was putting together the paperwork in December I could have swore it was at that time set to go in Texas. Their timeline shows they are working on applications from last July?!?!

I agree with you but, we had all of those plans in place well before deciding to move to the US. To us, the religious on is the one that matters the most... In hindsight, perhaps we should have done more investigating but, with our student loans and the expense of living it just didn't make any sense for us to start out there.

I have a feeling her parents will begin to question my responsibility and ability to get things done but, my gut is to postpone it.

What's worse, she's coming to visit in a few weeks for some job interviews. If those service times keep like that, she definitely will not be able to get here in time to actually take advantage of those jobs.

At the current rate of processing at California Service Centre, you will be lucky if you get your visa before Christmas!

Maybe it's just me, but I do not want any sort of celebration until the day I marry my fiance. I read up and we haven't booked a thing and won't be doing until I have the visa in my hand.

I guess you and your fiance have to decide what you prefer. I am sure the family will understand if you put things on hold and a lot of wedding associated things like photographers, will not refund you but they MAY reschedule you so you don't lose out but they need to know as soon as possible.

[Azsara 110]

First of all, thank you. These forums are an awesome resource and I have been a lurker for a long time. I hope to now finally contribute with questions and the eventual story of my experiences.

So, I filed the k1 for my Canadian fiancee in mid February when we decided job wise and financially we would be better off living in the United States. Prior to that, I the American citizen, was going to university in Canada and have been with her for five years there. I have a work visa and study permit.

Prior to deciding to move to the United States we had a wedding date planned for July of this year. Catering is set, photographer, tent, etc. Money has definitely been spent. However, I think I may have underestimated the time it would take for us to get the K-1 to all come in.

There are two problems here:

1. First, we have a wedding planned and know that we now have to marry in the United States. We have decided we will just make it a religious ceremony, unrecognized by the U.S. Government (as their website states) but, are torn with how to do it. We have all of these services rented, a dress bought, a pastor coming, etc. However some of the advice I have been reading here suggests it cannot resemble any form of wedding, ie - dress, honeymoon, rings, etc. Should we make it a really little celebration or suck up the costs and redo it after we eventually marry in the US?
   I'm not looking for legal advice, just practical advice. It is to be a small gathering of family, mostly those in Canada. However, discovering this it hurts me to admit we may have to reschedule and I know her parents have been planning and spending to get ready. Thankfully, invitations have yet to go out.
   
2. We may have that celebration and then have to worry about the prospect of doing it and me moving back without her as we continue to wait for the visa to come through. I have a pretty good job so I cannot afford to just stay with her and wait. How do you guys manage that kind of seperation? We have done summers apart (3-4 months at a time) for four years now and it really sucks. Since leaving Canada in December, this is becoming our longest distance apartment. Skype is only so good...
   

Any theories or ideas we should think about for the wedding? Something I may have missed?

Can u fill in ur timeline?

[baron555 934]

Well, the pastor (a friend) who will be officiating the ceremony has not renewed his licensing as an officiant. He has no legal power in the province to perform a legal marriage. He has also agreed to bring no paperwork.

However........regardless of what you state.......if the Embassy CO believes that you are married, they CAN deny the visa based on their perception. Legality aside, they have the power to make their own interpretation. Period.

Yes you could appeal but you'd also be separated longer while that vets itself out.

My recommendation. It's OK to have a party, where no own is dressing up in wedding finery. It's OK to have a minister make some prayers at this party. Don't call it a ceremony, don't exchange any vows, it is OK to kiss each other.

Don't include any photos of this party in your evidence package.

As far as separation.....suck it up. At least you two can visit each other, many of us could not even do that, so understand that most of us have gone through more than you will have to. No, it doesn't help but you can turn it into a positive reinforcement of the strength of your relationship if you choose to.

[hikergirl 277]

You could always go ahead with a complete legal wedding this summer and then cancel your K1 visa and go for a CR1. CR1s are not currently going through CSC so are significantly faster than K1s are right now.

However, you would lose out on the K1 filing fee and lose the time you would have already waited, but during the wait you could establish yourself in the US to make immigration easier. She would have to remain in Canada for the most part during the wait period.

Also, with regards to her working in the US. With the K1 she would not be allowed to work until after POE and the marriage and filing of Adjustment of Status which you would apply for EAD and AP. Only once the EAD and AP is received then she would be allowed to work or travel outside of the US.

Or you could look into postponing the religious ceremony in Canada until next summer. Go ahead with the K1 as planned and have a civil ceremony in the US and then the big shebang once she receives AP (advance parole).

Have you looked at the comparison chart between the two visas? It is here if you haven’t: http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

[Hershel243 0]

Thanks for your points baron555,

I'm leading towards putting a hold on the ceremony because it really wouldn't be worth it if we have it and then she's gotta stay in Canada and I have to return to the United States for who knows how long.

She has had no trouble in the past traveling to the United States on the visitor visa. I did speak with an immigration attorney today who said a lot of his clients take advantage of that where applicable. They file the paperwork and then before the finace(e) has their meeting at the consulate, they enjoy a vacation in the United States.

He says the key is to have a return ticket purchased and some evidence of it just being a visit. I know the amount of time is 90 days, so it would definitely have to be before that. But, we take advantage of that and she returns well before that time, that should shave off some of time waiting.

I don't mean to be insulting in regards to the separation... We hear people complain all the time about living two or three hours away from each other, when her and I are a two day drive and we cannot afford a plane trip. However, I do realize there are those that will be in the situation to not even be able to do that.

You are definitely right though on the positive reinforcement it does to a relationship. Each summer apart or the one time it was almost an entire year, each has strengthened us even further, made us a better couple.

However........regardless of what you state.......if the Embassy CO believes that you are married, they CAN deny the visa based on their perception. Legality aside, they have the power to make their own interpretation. Period.

Yes you could appeal but you'd also be separated longer while that vets itself out.

My recommendation. It's OK to have a party, where no own is dressing up in wedding finery. It's OK to have a minister make some prayers at this party. Don't call it a ceremony, don't exchange any vows, it is OK to kiss each other.

Don't include any photos of this party in your evidence package.

As far as separation.....suck it up. At least you two can visit each other, many of us could not even do that, so understand that most of us have gone through more than you will have to. No, it doesn't help but you can turn it into a positive reinforcement of the strength of your relationship if you choose to.

[Solomon&Anne 29]

Hi, Im new to posting on these forums but I might be able to help with this one

I went to meet my fiance in South Africa....We planned on getting married legally but found out that we had to marry at home affairs to make it legal to be documented...We had planned a religious wedding on the beach that we knew was not legal in the eyes of the United States....So after going to Home affairs and them telling us we needed more proof that we werent married previously (which neither of us had been) and we could have had the paperwork faxed to us which would have been easy ...we went back to the hotel room and we decided it we wanted to get married under god not South Africa , not the US, not Nigeria....We wanted to get married cause we love each other and want to be together we figured we would deal with legalities at a later date cause the bottom line is we love each other and we did what made us happy....we had a beautiful religious beach wedding at 7:30 in the morning by an amazing ordained minister.....we had the dress, the rings, the sunrise, we had the most amazing day of our lives..... But since then we have filed for a K-1 fiance visa...and we wait and wait and wait......In our eyes and gods we are married but in the eyes of the US we are not married ....So we will have to get legally married once we get our K-1 visa approved.....

All we can do is hope and pray that all of our visas are approved soon.....We all want to be with the ones we love.....And by all means we havent been approved as of yet so I do not know if it will hurt you or help you to have the dress rings and all but all i can tell you is what we did ....We did what we felt in our hearts .....hope this helps to let you know your not alone......

First of all, thank you. These forums are an awesome resource and I have been a lurker for a long time. I hope to now finally contribute with questions and the eventual story of my experiences.

So, I filed the k1 for my Canadian fiancee in mid February when we decided job wise and financially we would be better off living in the United States. Prior to that, I the American citizen, was going to university in Canada and have been with her for five years there. I have a work visa and study permit.

Prior to deciding to move to the United States we had a wedding date planned for July of this year. Catering is set, photographer, tent, etc. Money has definitely been spent. However, I think I may have underestimated the time it would take for us to get the K-1 to all come in.

There are two problems here:

1. First, we have a wedding planned and know that we now have to marry in the United States. We have decided we will just make it a religious ceremony, unrecognized by the U.S. Government (as their website states) but, are torn with how to do it. We have all of these services rented, a dress bought, a pastor coming, etc. However some of the advice I have been reading here suggests it cannot resemble any form of wedding, ie - dress, honeymoon, rings, etc. Should we make it a really little celebration or suck up the costs and redo it after we eventually marry in the US?
   I'm not looking for legal advice, just practical advice. It is to be a small gathering of family, mostly those in Canada. However, discovering this it hurts me to admit we may have to reschedule and I know her parents have been planning and spending to get ready. Thankfully, invitations have yet to go out.
2. We may have that celebration and then have to worry about the prospect of doing it and me moving back without her as we continue to wait for the visa to come through. I have a pretty good job so I cannot afford to just stay with her and wait. How do you guys manage that kind of seperation? We have done summers apart (3-4 months at a time) for four years now and it really sucks. Since leaving Canada in December, this is becoming our longest distance apartment. Skype is only so good...

Any theories or ideas we should think about for the wedding? Something I may have missed?

[CharliesAngel13 7]

@ solomon&Anne just out of curiosity, what part of Nigeria is ur fiance from? Mines from Lagos