Living separate as conditional LPR

[jaycali 415]

Hey guys,

I've had somewhat of a rough spring as many of you know, and my wife and I have finally decided to separate. Our lease ends in 4 weeks, and we will not be renewing it together. I got an offer for a job in California starting May 1st, which will keep me there until September, at which point I can either stay there, or try to go back here. She's staying here.

I'm still a conditional LPR. Neither my wife, nor I want to actually file for divorce at this point. She has specifically stated she will not sign anything until we have been separated for a certain period of time (in case we do work things out eventually, or separation somehow miraculously solves our marital issues). I don't have to file for ROC for another year and half, so I'm not concerned about that yet, but I do know you can be detained as a conditional LPR if you're divorced and have not filed ROC.

My question is, does separation affect my status as a conditional LPR?

And a side question, what is the difference between being "separated" and being "legally separated"?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

What do you want to do? Stay "separated" or get the divorce over?

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

separted is just living apart

legal separation is filing the correct court papers

In most states you have to be legally separted before a divorce is granted but not all

you can look up that information online

California is a state that favors the woman in any divorce

still the US citizen is financially responsible for the immigrant

[VanessaTony 3,567]

As was stated, separated is just living apart, legal separation is better.

Legal separation, depending on your state, can actually protect you if your spouse incurs debts while you're separated. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/alternativestodivorce/qt/sep_agreement.htm

I suggest you speak to an attorney. A legal separation need not lead to divorce, but it protects you BOTH during the separation.

[jaycali 415]

What do you want to do? Stay "separated" or get the divorce over?

I don't know. She doesn't know. I could see us working it out, maybe over the course of several months or a year even. But it is clear we have major problems, and it is clear that it's currently beyond an any easy fix. That doesn't change the fact that I love this woman, and it doesn't change the fact that she still loves me. We both want it to work out, but it's not. Neither of us, at this point want to file for divorce because it's the ultimate end per se, of us. I'm not ready to take that final step yet, and she's not ready to take that final step yet - Though I do think she's having a slightly harder time wrapping her head around it than me (although she pushed for separation before I did). We've been separated physically before, but we've never been separated both physically and emotionally. We both want to see how that affects us before we take that final step. I don't think either of us genuinely believe that we'll "get back together" but neither of us want to completely break the bond before we've lived separately for a while, both physically and emotionally.

Put it this way - I don't want to get a divorce now, and have us both realize later on that it was a mistake. Neither of us want to "re-marry." I don't want immigration to have any say in how her and I choose to go about this - Though I'd be naive not to realize that it in fact does.

So as far as immigration status goes, will it cause me any issues if we separate, but wait i.e. 6 months until we're both ready to file for a divorce?

Edited March 31, 2013 by Jay Jay

[jaycali 415]

separted is just living apartlegal separation is filing the correct court papersIn most states you have to be legally separted before a divorce is granted but not allyou can look up that information onlineCalifornia is a state that favors the woman in any divorce still the US citizen is financially responsible for the immigrant

As was stated, separated is just living apart, legal separation is better.Legal separation, depending on your state, can actually protect you if your spouse incurs debts while you're separated. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/alternativestodivorce/qt/sep_agreement.htmI suggest you speak to an attorney. A legal separation need not lead to divorce, but it protects you BOTH during the separation.

Thanks, that does answer my question regarding legal separation. We both currently live in Hawaii. I'll be going to California for work (Hawaii-based company) until at least September. After which, I don't know if I'll stay in California or back to Hawaii (depends on work and/or our relationship). If she files, I'm assuming the divorce would be filed in Hawaii. I'm currently a Hawaii resident too, don't know if I'd be filing in Hawaii or California if I chose to file while in California? (We got married in Hawaii if that matters)

As far as status as a conditional LPR - Can I incur any problems being separated, or is my status good until a final divorce decree? I know I can't ROC with a waiver until I have a divorce decree, and at this point, we're still not even 100% sure if we'll ultimately end up filing for divorce.

Edited March 31, 2013 by Jay Jay

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I can't give you relationship advice, but I can tell you where you stand and where you'll have to go if you'd like to avoid having to go back to the cold hell of Norway:

Either you live happily married with your spouse under one roof when the time comes to file for Removal of Conditions, or you are divorced. The USCIS does not recognize separated, legally separated, considering making up; it's white or it's black. No shades allowed.

So unless you want to forget this California thing and play nice with your wife, you need to file for divorce ASAP or you'll be running out of time, depending on how long Hawaii requires a married couple to be separated before they can get divorced.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Ok, as far as I understand, you can live separately from your spouse as long as your GC is valid and you are not divorced. You are under no legal obligation to be in the same house/city/state as her. It will make things difficult for the ROC later on if you get back together, and maybe a bit more difficult if you divorce and ROC on your own.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Both CA and Hawaii are no fault divorce states. That basically means you cant say the marriage broke up because one person did something wrong, but rather you broke up because of differences. In each one you have to live there for at least 6 months before filing- so if youre going to file youd need to obtain a DL in CA as soon as you get there. If your spouse is going to file in HI then she would meet that requirement there.

In HI its either a 2 yr separation OR you both testify that you have differences that you cant work out and then you dont need the 2yr separation. In HI you can split and negotiate your assets and property yourself before hand and submit a settlement with your divorce and the judge can approve it- or you can argue for months in court and let the judge rule in the end. In CA its a community property state. This means that any income earned by either spouse during the marriage, and all property bought with those earnings, are considered marital property that is owned equally by each spouse or partner. At divorce, the property is divided equally between the spouses or partners.

So its going to be your choice where you want the divorce to be- if you go that route.

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If you decide not to divorce- re-immigration, well you have a conditional GC. You moved to CA for a job for 6 months and your wife stayed in HI. Its not a big deal. She just chose not to accompany you. If you did get back together after the 6 months, you would present it as a temporary work mandated move. You can have separate residences like that during the conditional period with out it negatively impacting your ROC. (You may have a joint ROC interview when the time comes, or you may not) I really wouldnt stress about it now. If you did get back together though I would make sure to purposely gather ALOT of evidence when you do reconcile for ROC, like a joint lease and accounts and pictures to round out the packet because of that 6 month period you had a separate residence.

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So as far as immigration status goes, will it cause me any issues if we separate, but wait i.e. 6 months until we're both ready to file for a divorce?

What you need to be careful with here, since it seems you have an amicable relationship with your spouse, you should discuss this with her- is probably going to be the date of separation on the divorce papers. Thats something the USCIS is going to look at. They are going to look at how long you were married and when you separated. Divorces can take a long time to process. Sometimes people dont file right away for whatever reasons (money) But pretty much the marriage is over on the date you separated, not the date you filed or the date it became finalized.

So thats how they are going to judge your marriage. If you were married 6 months and then got your GC and then 2 months later you separated and then 6 months after that she filed for divorce... well technically you could argue you were married over a year and then divorce was filed, but all USCIS is going to see is 2 months after the card was issued you separated.

However if you put your date of separation as 8 months after the card was issued- that changes things. The date that you and your wife decide to put on your divorce papers is a personal decision. It would have to be the truth. So at some point youre going to have to come up with the exact date that you two decided youre not "together" any more. It kind of seems like your wavering in your posts about are we separated physically/emotionally- we dont want to sign it

So I would suggest you think about that and perhaps discuss it with her.

[jaycali 415]

Both CA and Hawaii are no fault divorce states. That basically means you cant say the marriage broke up because one person did something wrong, but rather you broke up because of differences. In each one you have to live there for at least 6 months before filing- so if youre going to file youd need to obtain a DL in CA as soon as you get there. If your spouse is going to file in HI then she would meet that requirement there.

In HI its either a 2 yr separation OR you both testify that you have differences that you cant work out and then you dont need the 2yr separation. In HI you can split and negotiate your assets and property yourself before hand and submit a settlement with your divorce and the judge can approve it- or you can argue for months in court and let the judge rule in the end. In CA its a community property state. This means that any income earned by either spouse during the marriage, and all property bought with those earnings, are considered marital property that is owned equally by each spouse or partner. At divorce, the property is divided equally between the spouses or partners.

So its going to be your choice where you want the divorce to be- if you go that route.

------

If you decide not to divorce- re-immigration, well you have a conditional GC. You moved to CA for a job for 6 months and your wife stayed in HI. Its not a big deal. She just chose not to accompany you. If you did get back together after the 6 months, you would present it as a temporary work mandated move. You can have separate residences like that during the conditional period with out it negatively impacting your ROC. (You may have a joint ROC interview when the time comes, or you may not) I really wouldnt stress about it now. If you did get back together though I would make sure to purposely gather ALOT of evidence when you do reconcile for ROC, like a joint lease and accounts and pictures to round out the packet because of that 6 month period you had a separate residence.

------

What you need to be careful with here, since it seems you have an amicable relationship with your spouse, you should discuss this with her- is probably going to be the date of separation on the divorce papers. Thats something the USCIS is going to look at. They are going to look at how long you were married and when you separated. Divorces can take a long time to process. Sometimes people dont file right away for whatever reasons (money) But pretty much the marriage is over on the date you separated, not the date you filed or the date it became finalized.

So thats how they are going to judge your marriage. If you were married 6 months and then got your GC and then 2 months later you separated and then 6 months after that she filed for divorce... well technically you could argue you were married over a year and then divorce was filed, but all USCIS is going to see is 2 months after the card was issued you separated.

However if you put your date of separation as 8 months after the card was issued- that changes things. The date that you and your wife decide to put on your divorce papers is a personal decision. It would have to be the truth. So at some point youre going to have to come up with the exact date that you two decided youre not "together" any more. It kind of seems like your wavering in your posts about are we separated physically/emotionally- we dont want to sign it

So I would suggest you think about that and perhaps discuss it with her.

Thanks for an incredibly informational post Capri.

[Teddy B 17,252]

Sorry to hear about your troubles Jay Jay. I wish you the best.

[jaycali 415]

Sorry to hear about your troubles Jay Jay. I wish you the best.

Thanks Teddy.